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LexAnger: tapering or no tapering, generic vs. name brand lexapro

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Tilly

I hope that you are faring well on your journey. I wish you the best of everything.

 

Much love as always,

 

Cat xxx

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LexAnger

Glad to see you back here!

hope you are feeling better now.

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Altostrata

How are you doing now, LexAnger? Where are you in your taper?

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LexAnger

Hi Auto,

 

Thank you for checking on me!

 

Hope you are doing well yourself!

 

I am currently at 3.3mg still on the road of micro tapering. I feel I am around the turning point from mostly dose increase caused reaction since 1 yr. ago to typical WD now. I learned a lot in the past year dealing with all types’ incredible impact of the dose change, supplements, life style, mindset etc., and got a great in-depth understanding of my system, physical, mental and psychological.

 

I consider my current time a real starting time of taper offsetting the drug reaction from last year.

 

I still have daily symptoms that vary from day to day and hour to hour but within the scope of my prior experienced set. I think I see a more stable/expected pattern over the period of each cut. I have been cutting 0.025mg holding for 3-4 weeks lately as compared to the same cut holding for 2 weeks. Most days I feel disabled for couple hours to a few hours in morning for intellectual work due to physical pain, distress, and/or brain weakness but I have been able to maintain my job doing most work in the afternoon and catching up stuff at home in evening. My daily pattern of symptoms is very clear. They always lesson as the day goes almost fully functional with minimal/no symptoms in the evening. Giving this rate, and assuming no major hiccups, it will take probably 5-6 more years to the finish line.

 

Experience taught me that I can’t take any other medication or supplement except for fish oil, OPC-3 (an antioxidant which I believe helped me tremendously with other common infection). I push myself for daily exercise walking and swimming, if it’s not the back damage by the WD, I would have tried more rigorous outdoor activities. They help a great deal with both physical pain and mental/psychological wellbeing.

 

With an already long battle so far, I do have moments of depressed thoughts about the setback of my life by the most unexpected cause, but I feel I finally found the right path to continue the effort for the hopeful outcome.

 

This forum has provided me with tons of knowledge, strategy, encourage, support and strength. I can't imagine where I could have been without all I learned from here. I am often feeling overwhelmed by the whole experience of my own and those of everyone else, feeling speechless.

 

 

Love and Hugs,

LexAnger

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Altostrata

You are very sensitive! Good to hear you've learned so much about that.

 

Onward!

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LexAnger

Thank you alto for what you have been doing to help everyone. It gives me hope and belief in humanity that we can still find within human souls even I'm very hard hearted by this experience and how this world has became in general.

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Tilly

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

© Max Ehrmann 1927

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Altostrata

You're welcome, LA.

 

Thank you, Tilly.

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Tilly

You're welcome, LA.

 

Thank you, Tilly.

Blessings and the best of everything to you always, Alto.

 

You are a shining star that lights up so many lives here.

 

I wish you the best of everything that life has to offer.

 

As I do to my dear friend, Lex.

 

Love to you both xxx

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clearday

LexAnger,

 

Thank you for posting on my thread and for your suggestion of OPC 3 to boost the immune system.

 

Let's keep healing....

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LexAnger

Hi Clear,

Thank you for stopping by and the encouraging message!

You have always been an inspiration to me and I loop up your good example often.

 

My bad not being able to update often on my thread. I will do one tonight as there has been something huge and different occurred since my last cut and hope it provides some information/ lesson helpful to others.

 

Hugs,

Lex

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starburst

Looking forward to reading your update Lex :-)

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LexAnger

Long overdue update:

 

 

As it shows in my signature, it has been one year constant struggling since my dose increase 2.7 to 4.5mg then tapering down to the current 3.2mg (0.025mg holding 2-3 weeks). Symptoms are wide spread but the most constant ones are needling pain and numbness/pressure/tightness on head/neck/shoulder/upper pack, deep pain on face, head and mid-back pain. I started getting short windows round 3.6mg then the above symptoms either lessoned or disappeared one day or the other. I take the liquid at 10am everyday over 2 hour period (to get less immediate doing reaction as I hope). I usually wake up without any symptoms in bed but they appear in just few seconds. The most difficult time is always from the wake up moment until 1-2 hours after finishing the dose (then it would be early afternoon) with symptoms changing every few minutes in types/location/severity. I have to spend the entire morning power walking, stretching, massaging to get some relief, and go to work round noon when I usually feel able to. The symptoms usually continues in the afternoon but less intense allowing me to get some work done and present myself to others momentarily. I then go to gym directly (every day) walking again, sauna, then swimming when I would feel a lot better (8pm). My evening time is always the best with less pain and other symptoms although I never got any minute completely free of symptoms.

 

 

I found I sleep more (9-10 hours) when I make a cut, then gradually able to wake up after 8 hour sleep 2-3 weeks after each cut. I do get fatigue, overall sickness, DP/DR, anxiety, depression, brain non-functional but those only showed up occasionally and were short lived. After all these years adjusting, I feel I can endure all other symptoms except for the severe needling, they are very painful like thousands long needles poking into my brain, face, neck, shoulder, back constantly often time I feel every cell of my body shakes from the pain.

 

 

With the windows I started getting from 3.6mg, I was hopeful to continue like this for future tapering until the last round of cut to 3.2mg 3 weeks ago. I can't relate the sudden blow out of all symptoms old and new, psych, mental and intensified physical to any other changes I made. It’s been 3 weeks now it seems issues with brain function, depression, anxiety, sever fatigue and sickness are subsided most time, but the needling and other type of pains allover are still brutal without sign of lessoning. And the daily pattern seems changing as well; they can come up anytime during the day although most severe time is still morning to early afternoon. Understanding this needling has been my constant effort but still no clue at all. I haven’t heard anyone having such a severe problem with it.

 

 

Nothing but exercise has being my surviving tool. Unless my energy is severely impacted, I do 30 min waking in morning, 30 min walking in evening, 20 min sauna, and 30 in swimming every day. The only supplements I take are fish oil and OPC 3 (an antioxidant).

 

My blood results are all normal except for high cholesterol and low white blood count (both started since my taper). The x-ray of mu back didn’t show anything major but slight tilting of the spine to left (my sxs is always most sever on the left side). I know by heart it’s caused by the daily muscle tension, nerve pain esp. along my spine.

 

 

After years suffering, and the most recent experience cutting at the lower dose. I am now thinking to hold for infinite time until my system is thoroughly stabilized. I feel quite discouraged from this round of cut, that I will ever be able to make it to zero. I see most others major challenge is anxiety/depression/insomnia which I believe it’s very hard, but my daily torture from the incredible pain simply reached my body's limit. I cross my fingers for the needling to subside with the long holding.

 

 

I am sorry for the lack of inspiring update that is also the reason I didn’t feel like an update but with everyone encouragement, I feel it might be informative to others somehow. I hope things will settle for better soon when I can update again for good news.

 

Wish all continuous healing,

 

Lex

 

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LoveandLight

My goodness I'm sorry for the pain your in!

 

Hugs xx

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LexAnger

Thank you Love and Light for your sympathy!

I hope you are doing ok with your tapering.

 

Lex

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LexAnger

It has been a constant puzzle to me weather this needling is a drug side effect or WD effect.

I found it most times associated with my dosing time, always most severe during my 2 hour dosing and then subside gradually hous after finishing dosing.

 

although the daily pattern may coincident more with the daily pattern of cortisol level. 

 

Any thoughts/experience are really appreciated. It is the main factor I consider for my taper stratey.

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bubble

Hello Lex.

 

I've been following you from 'afar' reading through your thread and your posts to other members but somehow never got round to 'visiting'.

 

I just wanted to let you know that your struggle is remarkable and your endurance likewise (just reading Uncle Tom's Cabin, hence the style, sorry ;)

 

Unfortunately I have no idea about how to explain this awful pain you are experiencing ;( I'm yet to tackle the monster of Lexapro and I see that you study the situation of other Lexapro victims. Although we have many things in common it seems that each of us has some peculiarities.

 

I take solace in reading from Rhi's posts where she says that even if we have to at one point taper extremely slowly that doesn't have to be the case throughout. Her experience has been that really long holds make it possible for her to taper less painfully. I see your new approach in the same light.

 

I'm very happy to have finally found the mental space to greet you. It's so much easier to travel this dreadful journey in such fine company (I'm afraid it's all Uncle Tom! Can't help it ;)

 

I really hope holding spares you from this pain...

 

Bubble

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LexAnger

Hi Bubble,

 

So dear of you stopping by and spending time to understand my situation and providing insightful advice! I really apprecaite it.

To be honest, I also feel I have been very strong to endure those pains not even trying to let others know. You are right, it helps a lot getting support and sympthy when in such severe suffering

 

Your thoughts about slow taper and long hold are definitely very valuble. I indeed never did a long holding in the past 2.5 years ever since the start of taper. It mihgt be the key reason that, even I have been doing super small cut (<1%) but the holds were mostly only 2-3 weeks which put my system in constan adjusting. I do fin the small cut helped with minimal and short lived other typical WD symptoms like fatigue, abnormal heart rate, anxiety/depression. 

 

I am so happy you are so close to finishing the Xanax taper. I wish you best luck to your journey tapering off Lexapro. I will be following you through to the zero point :)

 

Love and hugs,

Lex

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starburst

Thank you for sharing so honestly Lex. You have been a huge encouragement to me on my journey. I read through others who are Withdrawing from lexapro because o want to prepare myself for anything that may lay ahead. It was only today when I was reflecting on my journey that I began to see the projected withdrawal that typically took place within six months of a taper. For me it has been excruciating anxiety and depression but thankfully nothing physical. When I'm in depression o think is rather have anxiety and when I'm anxious I'd rather have depression, the reality is that they both suck. I'm sure your physical symptoms are pure hell. You are doing great with your exercise. I have let that slip and I am feeling it. At least with anxiety I can read a self help book and find some relief but for you with physical symptoms what can you do? I truely wish you all the best and pray that by stabilising on this dose you will find some relief.

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LexAnger

Princess,

 

Thank you for you support and kind words! It is a comfort hearing you!

 

I had couple times feeling the strong inner anxiety ( I call it physical too as my mind was calm, it's very different from the normal anxiety I used to feel before meds) and depression. They both are really tough and hard to kick even you know that not you but from the drug.

We are all suffering and enduring badly as anything at the most extreme level can be very torturing.

 

Giving all the lessons you are learning quickly 360 degree, I believe your journey will be as smooth as possible and eventually a success.

 

Hope you are stabilizing more with the 10 mg liquid.

 

Hugs,

Lex

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clearday

It has been a constant puzzle to me weather this needling is a drug side effect or WD effect.

I found it most times associated with my dosing time, always most severe during my 2 hour dosing and then subside gradually hous after finishing dosing.

 

although the daily pattern may coincident more with the daily pattern of cortisol level. 

 

Any thoughts/experience are really appreciated. It is the main factor I consider for my taper stratey.

 

Thanks for your update. This Lexapro has done quite a number on you. It has also done quite a number on me too.

 

I wish I could help you figure out if it is side effect or withdrawal. That is a puzzle.

 

I can only say what I went through. I had no side effects to speak of during my five years on Lexapro.

 

I stopped cold turkey while stable on 5 mg, 21 months ago. 

 

Initially, I had no real withdrawal effects other than fatigue.

 

But at seven months off, I started to get hit with the bad stuff - insomnia first, but that went away.

 

Then the real bad stuff hit at ten months off - roaring head noise, head pressure, tightness of the scalp and chest, numbness of the left side of my body and scalp numbness. Bouts of brain fog and anxiety.

 

The body numbness went away, and so did the chest numbness for the most part. Brain fog comes and goes, not so bad right now.

 

But the head noise persists, and continues to be difficult.

 

I mention all this, because obviously my symptoms are from "withdrawal". I use quotation marks, because to me it is more like nerve damage. My body was able to hold it together for seven months without the drug after I stopped, but then all hell broke loose. Some call it delayed withdrawal, I call it nerve damage. Lots of people get hit many months after stopping.

 

But a lot of that damage has healed so far. Yet I am still having difficulty with this nerve damage. I have no idea what kind of timetable I am facing as far as healing. Especially since I have had worsening of symptoms over the past few months. Yet some very good windows.

 

Since I am very far away from the drug, at 21 months off, I don't have to wonder about side effects vs withdrawal, obviously it is all "withdrawal". My symptoms are worse in the morning, usually getting better by afternoon, then bad at bedtime. Similar to most people in withdrawal. Windows and waves come and go as they please. No rhyme or reason.

 

My guess for you is that Lexapro has altered your nerves, causing the typical needling and pressure, numbness in your head and upper body area, so common for Lexapro to do this to people. And perhaps, that the dose you are at is just not enough to make that go away. I'm certainly not saying you should updose. From your history it looks like you have been sensitive to Lexapro from the start. So you are in a quandary, since going up causes you to suffer, yet cutting your dose also causes problems. 

 

Remember, I never had any real side effects from Lexapro, and I cold turkeyed while stable. All the typical problems that Lexapro causes eventually hit me strictly while in protracted withdrawal.

 

A couple years into using Lexapro, I was given one little hint about the horror to come. I was on 10 mg for two years and cut my dose to 5 mg and stayed on that for 3 years. When I did that, I had only two weeks of fatigue which resolved. But I also had one or two nights of ear ringing, only for a minute or so. That also went away, and didn't come back until I cold turkeyed years later. So to me, that tells me the damage was already done by two years into using Lexapro. I quickly stabilized after cutting down to 5 mg, but the brief ear ringing showed me the damage was done.

 

I would not go back on this drug, even though I had no side effects while on it. Knowing that it caused this damage to me, I want to get far away from it. I don't want to cause more damage. And by now, for me and for you, reinstating or updosing may not help anyway, we may be sensitized. Like many, I simply have to ride it out, as difficult as it is for me.

 

These are just my thoughts, as you asked, and perhaps a moderator would offer a different opinion regarding side effects vs withdrawal.

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LexAnger

Hi Clear,

 

My sincere appreciation to your kindness spending time and sharing your experiecen and reasoning!

 

All you said makes great sense to me and I am more convinced its from WD, or I like to think it the same way as you do, the brain damage from whatever the drug has been doing in the past years with the specific experience I had.

 

I was in constant debating the last few days not seeing any improvement into 3 weeks since the last cut, to add the 0.025mg back. I am glad I didnt as I had prior experience feeling the updosing side effect just by that tiny.

 

I will continue holding at the current dose and wait for my system to stablize.

 

Thanks again for the very needed support and advice!

 

Lex

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starburst

That was very interesting to read Clearday.  I know that I found it helpful to read of someone else's journey with  lexapro WD and I'm sure it has helped Lex too. The thing that intrigues me the most is that after ten months off the drug the withdrawal symptoms can still start. I always thought when I took a cut that after two weeks I was clear of any side effects! how naive I was. It just makes me more aware of taking this whole process as slow and steady as I can in the hope of at least reducing some of the withdrawal symptoms. Poor Lex has struggled since being on the lower doses of lexapro and that is what makes me nervous. 

 

By the way Lex, I have to tell you that you avatar always makes me smile. We had a labrador who sadly passed away this year, he was 10 years old and the joy of our lives. Such beautiful dogs. 

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starburst

WishingYouWell.jpg

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LexAnger

Hi Princess,

 

Thank you so much for the kindest wish and I love the Ecard very much! It warms my heart dear friend.

 

Having a dog has been my dream all these years but every time I was close enough to get one, I either started feeling sick or uncertain giving my health situation and single status. I love all dogs so much it's hard for me not to chase any dog on the road while walking to give them a hug. I'm so sorry for your loss, it must be heartbreaking.

 

My pain seems lifting up either in severity or frequency in the past couple days, but I started getting very irregular heartbeat like from 60 to 240 in just a few seconds. This always is accompanied by feeling sick and weak. One thing puzzles me is, the irregular heartbeat is only detected by the monitor but not what I find by ca outing my pulse. My pulse is stable round 64 most time.

 

So I searched online and found another terrifying thing about lexapro. I will copy it to the next post below.

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starburst

Sometimes I don't have the words but I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you as you travel along this path of WD. 

Dogs are beautiful but hard work too and if you are not feeling your best it would be an added stress.

I am sorry to hear of your new symptoms. I try not to google anything about Lexapro any more because as soon as I do I get the symptom I have been reading about  :wub:

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LexAnger

Ok. Seemed I missed posting the link I thought I did.

It turned out better so you won't be getting that too :)

 

Yes, you company helps tremedously. This site is a life savor. I don't know how I would have made it to today if not for it. Knowing others understand and we are not alone gives me strength continuing.

 

I will follow you around to the end when you are healed!!

Hugs,

Lex

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starburst

Hi Lex. I have spent the past week reading through a couple of people's introduction threads from start to finish. I have just finished yours this morning. I like to get a better 'feel' of the person so that I can hopefully respond in an appropriate manner. It is easy to become self focussed in this journey and I don't want to be like that. 

 

From what I have read it seems that you are super sensitive to the drug and any taper, however small, has had a huge impact on you. Also when you have reinstated a small amount you have experienced similar withdrawal symptoms. Now please take my thoughts with a pinch of salt and in no way take anything on board that you do not feel comfortable with. I have been reading a lot about slow tapering and long holds and feel that there would be a huge benefit for you in doing something similar.

 

I know you are already doing a slow taper with very minimal cuts but it appears that you are holding the cut for only 2-3 weeks which I feel may be putting too much pressure on your already struggling CNS. How would you feel about stabilising the current dose till at least after Christmas? and seeing if by doing that your WD symptoms lessen. I understand the desire to get off these drugs quickly, I fight that urge every day. But I would rather do it slowly and steadily in the hope that the WD will be less brutal. From my own experience my latest cut from 5mg to 4.9mg has put me through hell for two weeks (more emotional than physical) and I definitely won't be making any more cuts till next year after this. If I continue to go down at such a slow rate I could be doing this for two more years or more! but at least I will still be a functioning human being in that process. I have young children who need their mother and it would be disastrous for me to go any quicker in this WD process and risk my health and wellbeing which would ultimately affect my family. 

 

From what I have read you have not had a period without brutal physical symptoms in a long time. I just wonder if you allow your body to adapt for a bit longer by not making more cuts if you will experience an improvement in these symptoms. Would it be worthwhile considering that option? Again, these are my thoughts and you are free to disagree and completely ignore me! I will certainly take no offence.

 

In regards to your cholesterol level. I have had high cholesterol the entire time I have been on Lexapro, as also I have had high blood pressure. I do believe that the drug affects these levels. In reading Nathan Pritikin's biography I feel inspired to follow his suggestions of a High Carb (Not processed) low fat regime with plenty of fish and lean poultry in order to try to rectify those numbers. After being diagnosed with heart disease at the age of 40 he reversed his condition through diet and his autopsy report showed a healthy heart like that of a young man. Yes, he died from Leukemia but that was due to excess radiation treatment that he had as a young man to combat a skin condition. 

 

Anyway my friend. I hope that you are o.k with me coming here and hijacking your thread. I appreciate your support and constant encouragement and only have the very best of intentions in what I write to you.

 

Take Care x

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LexAnger

Dear Princess,

 

My gratitude to you from bottom of my heart for spending so much time reading, understanding and advising!

 

I'm in complete agreement with you on my slow but short hold tapering. I realized that only after the lack of stabilizing after a month holding sine the last cut with severe and lot new symptoms.

 

I have been very sick these few days and will write to you more when I'm better.

 

I will add a separate post next for more update.

 

Love and hugs,

Lex

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LexAnger

Update and help needed

 

So I have been holding on for a month since the last cut of 0.025 mg waiting for stabilizing. The other worsening symptoms, severe needling pain, brain nonfunctional, etc. now only come up every other day instead of everyday which I consider an improvement. The new symptom since this round, sever fatigue and sickness/ weakness is getting more severe and frequent. My heart rate is very irregular, jumping around so randomly up and down all the time ranges from 60 to 220 in a few seconds a few days ago the first time I used a heart monitor, the next day the range narrowed to 60-180, then yesterday 60-140, today the reading is still very unstable even I stand still. The strange thing is, my pulse seems stable round 64 all the time.

 

I've been sleeping 9-10 hours but feel like to fall to sleep any time, I feel my heart is out of my chest too. There is slight tightness but no pain. I have been bedridden most time theses days due to the severe weakness.

 

I read publication about the risk lexapro can make to heart ( 3 times more than other ssir), and fatal heart failure has been reported.

Due to the concern of the danger, I up dosed today by adding the 0.025 mg back jus one hour ago.

 

I need serious help with thoughts and experience about heart problems caused by WD.

 

Lex

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starburst

Lex I think you have done the right thing re instating your dose. Let me know how that goes.

 

I have no expertise in heart problems caused by Lexapro. Would it be a good idea to get an ECG and stress test done by your physician in order to find out what you may or may not be dealing with? Sometimes the fear is worse than the truth. 

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LexAnger

Thanks you very much starburst!

I did see the entire see the entire thread for both links you send long time ago and I revisited these couple days.

 

I feel the extra drop I added this afternoon a few hours after taking it with numb/pippin/twist feeling on my head and entire left side plus some anxious and agitating feeling which is not common to have in the evening. I also slept two more hours in the afternoon waking up with better energy, not sure if it's the effect of the dose increase or part of the cycle itself.

 

I'm not sure now what to take tomorrow, continue the increase dose or go back to the original.

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ThoughtTree

Hi Lex,

 

I've read your journey with lexapro, sorry to hear your last drop has caused these health concerns.

Have you stayed on the increased dose? I know it has only been a couple of days. How are you managing now?

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LexAnger

anks thoughttree for stopping by and asking!

 

Yes, I have been on the increase dose (3.2mg) for 4 days. I started to have periods of ok energy since day 2 on the higher dose, and the heart rate changes also narrowed down quite a bit (60-120) and happened only a few times each day instead of constantly. My other symptoms (strange head twist, pain, numb etc.) were back though which is familiar. Overall I am glad about the heart issue being stablized gradually as I consider it much more serious even the other physical symptoms are more turturing.

 

I hope I can ride this out without further adjusting doses. I will be holding real long from there for my system to fully stalize. I also cant affort to lose my job. I can't keep my job if the condition I had in the past couple weeks continue.

 

I will keep everyone updated as day 4 is supposed to be the starting of the effect of dose change. Fingers crossed, no new surprises.

 

Thanks each of you for your support, concern and encouragement!

 

Special thanks to my dear friend, Marmite for her kindest and greatest help with her intensive knowledge and experience in the heart related side effects from lexapro.

 

I can't imagine how I can make it through this time without you all!

 

Sending warm hugs to each of you!

 

Lex

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starburst

271787_original.gif

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