SaveMooses Posted July 1, 2011 Share Posted July 1, 2011 I love your Crayon Analogy! Thumbs up! Age 11-Depressed~14-Use alcohol and drugs~20-Prozac~21-Zoloft~29-Paxil; Used for 2 yrs; took 5 yrs to recover memory back~39-Raw Thyroid for low T3 & take Prilosec~40-Zoloft stops working, so Lexapro; doesn't work; start counseling. Start 300mg Omega 3 Fish Oil & Vit B Complex. Feel better. Taper off Lexapro unsuccessful~41 (5/22/11)-Quit Lexapro, b/c pills at once. Breakdown at work~(6/26/11)-Start 5mg Lexapro to help WD symptoms~(6/30/11)-Feel better; Able to go back to work.~(9/6/11)- Better! Delay tapering.~(11/14/11)-Taper by skipping 4th day.~(11/20/11)-Crashed. Need another strategy.~(1/14/12)-Start 25mg Zoloft w/Lexapro. Taper to 1/4 Lexapro; success.~(2/17/12)-Stop Lexapro.~43 (2/12/13)-Am great; still on 25mg Zoloft.(9/13/14) Off all meds over a year! Link to comment
JoLe Posted July 2, 2011 Author Share Posted July 2, 2011 You're writing a book... I just know you're writing a book. I haven't been so glued to anything I've read in a very long time! Anxiously awaiting the next chapter! My eight year old granddaughter totally cracked up when I told her the Arfer story. She said she liked Arfer much better than Arthur anyway! Since I'm writing close to a thousand words three or four days a week, you might be right! And I'm with your granddaughter--Arfer is much cuter. I can call one or more psychiatrists crazy if they disagree with me. So can they. If I'm uncomfortable enough to do it, it's an insult. If they're uncomfortable enough to do it, it's a diagnosis, which gives them legal authority over precisely those aspects of my life about which we disagree. --Aaron Link Raz Started at 30mg Cymbalta, which, including inactive ingredients, equals 114mg on my scale. July 11, 2011: tapered down to 111mg. Link to comment
JoLe Posted July 2, 2011 Author Share Posted July 2, 2011 I love your Crayon Analogy! Thumbs up! Thank you! I can call one or more psychiatrists crazy if they disagree with me. So can they. If I'm uncomfortable enough to do it, it's an insult. If they're uncomfortable enough to do it, it's a diagnosis, which gives them legal authority over precisely those aspects of my life about which we disagree. --Aaron Link Raz Started at 30mg Cymbalta, which, including inactive ingredients, equals 114mg on my scale. July 11, 2011: tapered down to 111mg. Link to comment
JoLe Posted July 2, 2011 Author Share Posted July 2, 2011 Day 11 Had to work extra-long today, so I'm beat. But I promise to get to Laurel tomorrow. Still holding my own on the Cymbalta. I can call one or more psychiatrists crazy if they disagree with me. So can they. If I'm uncomfortable enough to do it, it's an insult. If they're uncomfortable enough to do it, it's a diagnosis, which gives them legal authority over precisely those aspects of my life about which we disagree. --Aaron Link Raz Started at 30mg Cymbalta, which, including inactive ingredients, equals 114mg on my scale. July 11, 2011: tapered down to 111mg. Link to comment
JoLe Posted July 3, 2011 Author Share Posted July 3, 2011 Day 12 Three years ago my mother was put on a drug she turned out to be allergic to. The doctor, hoping that what she was really allergic to was the inactive ingredients, switched her to a different version of the same drug. The thing is, once you've shown an allergic reaction to something, taking it again can be dangerous. With the first drug she just broke out in a rash after a few days, but there was no way of telling what would happen with the new one. This had me stressed out big-time. I was crying, I couldn't concentrate--I was a mess. So I decided to see a therapist. My reasoning was that first, I was feeling awful and could use of someone to talk to, and second, my mother is going to die someday. I know how hard it was when Melora died, going into a therapist's office and trying to explain my whole life and relationship to get to the part where, "And now she's died and I'm grieving and need help." I thought it might make my life easier later on if I already had a relationship with a therapist. So I went to my insurance company's website and looked for a therapist close to either where I work or where I live. (I live five blocks from a hospital/medical building, and work about a mile from another hospital. Medically, I'm covered.) I found out that just down the street from me is a branch of a mental health group, and they were taking new patients. That's how I met Laurel. I have told her things I've never told anyone else, and she has always been supportive. She got me through the bad period I was going through, and helped me with my grief over Melora. I think I frustrate her a little because I embrace my limitations. That doesn't mean I don't believe in not challenging myself. But I know my manic tendencies, and I know I have to keep them under control. The only thing I really know about moderation is how to spell it, so I'm very careful to learn from my over-indulgences and curb them in the future. I hate digging holes I can't get out of. But otherwise, we get along very well. One of the first things she told me was that I was very sensitive--not just emotionally, but physically. I'm bothered by things other people don't notice, I cry easily, my feelings get hurt easily. None of this is my fault, or anything I can really change; it's how I'm built. I've gotten better at dealing with it, though. (I'm a firm believer in knowing and accepting the truth as being essential to dealing with life. I once had a psychiatrist tell me that with two alcoholic grandfathers and a manic-depressive father, it would be a miracle if I didn't have problems with depression. When I told friends this, they were appalled, as though he had conferred this on me rather than giving me some insight. I could understand if he'd told me this before I ever had problems, it would seem like a prediction. But as an explanation of what was already happening, I was grateful. I'm not causing the things that happen in my brain, but I am responsible for dealing with them. There's a big difference between fault and responsibility.) The poetry reading I did the other night was Laurel's idea. I've been taking her my poems, and she's very impressed with them, particularly when I write about my mental state. It took me a very long time to find a therapist who really gets me, but it was worth all the trouble. I can call one or more psychiatrists crazy if they disagree with me. So can they. If I'm uncomfortable enough to do it, it's an insult. If they're uncomfortable enough to do it, it's a diagnosis, which gives them legal authority over precisely those aspects of my life about which we disagree. --Aaron Link Raz Started at 30mg Cymbalta, which, including inactive ingredients, equals 114mg on my scale. July 11, 2011: tapered down to 111mg. Link to comment
summer Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 My therapist is retiring soon. Considering moving to Indianapolis. Charter Member 2011 Link to comment
JoLe Posted July 4, 2011 Author Share Posted July 4, 2011 My therapist is retiring soon. Considering moving to Indianapolis. Laurel's looking for new patients. I can call one or more psychiatrists crazy if they disagree with me. So can they. If I'm uncomfortable enough to do it, it's an insult. If they're uncomfortable enough to do it, it's a diagnosis, which gives them legal authority over precisely those aspects of my life about which we disagree. --Aaron Link Raz Started at 30mg Cymbalta, which, including inactive ingredients, equals 114mg on my scale. July 11, 2011: tapered down to 111mg. Link to comment
JoLe Posted July 4, 2011 Author Share Posted July 4, 2011 Day 13 Very long day, so just a quick update. I've started using my scale to divvy up the little grains. I'm putting in 35mg, to account for the inactive ingredients. I've been feeling really good lately. I don't know if taking 30mg a day instead of 60mg every other day accounts for this, or if it's an upswing in my mood. I can call one or more psychiatrists crazy if they disagree with me. So can they. If I'm uncomfortable enough to do it, it's an insult. If they're uncomfortable enough to do it, it's a diagnosis, which gives them legal authority over precisely those aspects of my life about which we disagree. --Aaron Link Raz Started at 30mg Cymbalta, which, including inactive ingredients, equals 114mg on my scale. July 11, 2011: tapered down to 111mg. Link to comment
SaveMooses Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 I'm glad you're feeling better no matter what the reason! Age 11-Depressed~14-Use alcohol and drugs~20-Prozac~21-Zoloft~29-Paxil; Used for 2 yrs; took 5 yrs to recover memory back~39-Raw Thyroid for low T3 & take Prilosec~40-Zoloft stops working, so Lexapro; doesn't work; start counseling. Start 300mg Omega 3 Fish Oil & Vit B Complex. Feel better. Taper off Lexapro unsuccessful~41 (5/22/11)-Quit Lexapro, b/c pills at once. Breakdown at work~(6/26/11)-Start 5mg Lexapro to help WD symptoms~(6/30/11)-Feel better; Able to go back to work.~(9/6/11)- Better! Delay tapering.~(11/14/11)-Taper by skipping 4th day.~(11/20/11)-Crashed. Need another strategy.~(1/14/12)-Start 25mg Zoloft w/Lexapro. Taper to 1/4 Lexapro; success.~(2/17/12)-Stop Lexapro.~43 (2/12/13)-Am great; still on 25mg Zoloft.(9/13/14) Off all meds over a year! Link to comment
JoLe Posted July 5, 2011 Author Share Posted July 5, 2011 Thanks! I can call one or more psychiatrists crazy if they disagree with me. So can they. If I'm uncomfortable enough to do it, it's an insult. If they're uncomfortable enough to do it, it's a diagnosis, which gives them legal authority over precisely those aspects of my life about which we disagree. --Aaron Link Raz Started at 30mg Cymbalta, which, including inactive ingredients, equals 114mg on my scale. July 11, 2011: tapered down to 111mg. Link to comment
JoLe Posted July 5, 2011 Author Share Posted July 5, 2011 Day 14 I knew I should have posted before I went to see the fireworks. Still doing fine, still on the same dose. I can call one or more psychiatrists crazy if they disagree with me. So can they. If I'm uncomfortable enough to do it, it's an insult. If they're uncomfortable enough to do it, it's a diagnosis, which gives them legal authority over precisely those aspects of my life about which we disagree. --Aaron Link Raz Started at 30mg Cymbalta, which, including inactive ingredients, equals 114mg on my scale. July 11, 2011: tapered down to 111mg. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted July 5, 2011 Administrator Share Posted July 5, 2011 JoLe, when you have a moment, we could use some info on how to use the electronic scale in Tapering Techniques. Could you add your $.02? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
JoLe Posted July 5, 2011 Author Share Posted July 5, 2011 JoLe, when you have a moment, we could use some info on how to use the electronic scale in Tapering Techniques. Could you add your $.02? Great minds think alike! This morning I was just thinking there was probably someplace I should post exactly what I'm doing. I can call one or more psychiatrists crazy if they disagree with me. So can they. If I'm uncomfortable enough to do it, it's an insult. If they're uncomfortable enough to do it, it's a diagnosis, which gives them legal authority over precisely those aspects of my life about which we disagree. --Aaron Link Raz Started at 30mg Cymbalta, which, including inactive ingredients, equals 114mg on my scale. July 11, 2011: tapered down to 111mg. Link to comment
JoLe Posted July 6, 2011 Author Share Posted July 6, 2011 Day 15 Things go along well. I posted my tapering methodology in the tapering discussion. You should go read it just to see the amazing photos of the capsule holder I made! I can call one or more psychiatrists crazy if they disagree with me. So can they. If I'm uncomfortable enough to do it, it's an insult. If they're uncomfortable enough to do it, it's a diagnosis, which gives them legal authority over precisely those aspects of my life about which we disagree. --Aaron Link Raz Started at 30mg Cymbalta, which, including inactive ingredients, equals 114mg on my scale. July 11, 2011: tapered down to 111mg. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted July 6, 2011 Administrator Share Posted July 6, 2011 Brilliant, JoLe! This will help a lot of people. Love the pics. Thank you. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
JoLe Posted July 6, 2011 Author Share Posted July 6, 2011 You're very welcome! And thank you! I can call one or more psychiatrists crazy if they disagree with me. So can they. If I'm uncomfortable enough to do it, it's an insult. If they're uncomfortable enough to do it, it's a diagnosis, which gives them legal authority over precisely those aspects of my life about which we disagree. --Aaron Link Raz Started at 30mg Cymbalta, which, including inactive ingredients, equals 114mg on my scale. July 11, 2011: tapered down to 111mg. Link to comment
JoLe Posted July 6, 2011 Author Share Posted July 6, 2011 Day 16 A little more history: Trust issues, or You can't be too careful, a story of being involuntarily held. In August of 2005, a little over a year after the death of my partner, I made the mistake of not answering call-waiting. I had had a terrible day during which I'd been subjected to a meeting on retirement benefits—benefits I was not eligible for because I wasn't old enough to retire. There was also talk about life insurance, which was particularly painful since it had been only a year and two months since I lost my beneficiary. I was in a bad mood and I went home and wrote about my own retirement plans, which consisted of not living long enough to retire. I was not considering suicide. I was not threatening suicide. I wasn't even particularly talking about suicide, unless you consider an unhealthy lifestyle a form of suicide. I got a call from a friend who was concerned—not worried that I was going to kill myself, but worried about my mood and how angry and unhappy I sounded. While we talked, another friend called. My policy regarding call-waiting is very simple: unless I'm expecting a call back from someone, or my mother calls, I will not put anyone on call-waiting. I think it's rude, and it makes me uncomfortable to do it. Half an hour later the police were at my door. They asked about what I'd been writing online. I told them. They asked if I was planning to kill myself. I said no. They asked me if I was alone, and I said that I was, so then they asked where my mother was. (I was 46 at the time, so I found this question bizarre.) I said she lived around the corner, and they made me go with them to her house. They said they'd gotten a call from a friend of mine—the one whose call I didn't take. She told them I was contemplating suicide. The four of us stood on the sidewalk in front of my house, discussing this. I explained about my bad day. The police were understanding. However, they were also determined to take me to the hospital. They had already called an ambulance, and it showed up a little while after we got to the sidewalk. It wasn't that they thought I was suicidal, it was just that if I did kill myself, it would look bad for them. I could either go in the ambulance, or they'd take me in the patrol car, but I was going. I went in the ambulance. I told my mother not to worry, everything was fine. At the hospital they admitted me and stuck me in a cubicle. I called the friend who I'd been on the phone with and told her everything was all right. Then I called the friend who'd called the cops and told her I was all right and what was she doing? She had been worried. Yeah, fine, whatever. Eventually a doctor came and talked to me. I didn't seem suicidal to him, and he told me I could leave, or if I wanted, I could talk to the psychiatrist. Since I was still angry about work, I figured I talk to the psychiatrist. He said that was fine and left. I waited around, finally getting sleepy. So I turned off the light and lay down on the bed. I didn't have time to go to sleep because my mother was there, with her friend who was a policewoman at the time. I told them what was going on, that I'd been waiting for the psychiatrist, but it seemed to be taking a long time and as long as they were there, I might as well go home. Only the hospital wouldn't let me go home. I've never seen what the doctor wrote on my chart, but apparently what he didn't write was that I wasn't a danger to myself or others. And he did write that I was waiting for the psychiatrist—who they now told me wouldn't be there until morning because he was at the hospital on the other side of town. And I couldn't leave until I'd seen him. That was the point where I got angry with them. The doctor had left for the day, and now I was being held against my will because he hadn't bothered to write down that I could leave. Do you know what happens when people think you're crazy and you get angry? The way they weren't listening to you before (a quiet, humoring attitude) changes to a "see, you're crazy" attitude. The more angry you are, the more sure they're right. You cannot win. (You can't win by being reasonable either. Everything you do is proof you're crazy.) I was assured I just didn't understand what the doctor said. I didn't really care about staying the night, but my mother was not in good health and she wouldn't go home. Finally her friend asked if she could escort us to the other hospital, and since she was a policewoman, that was allowed. By this time I was angry and scared and guilty and humiliated. But I sounded fine to the psychiatrist, who sent me home. Up until this point I had been seeing a therapist from the Employee Assistance Program, and she worked in the first hospital. I suddenly started wondering just how much I could trust her, and it was shortly thereafter that I stopped seeing her. To add injury to insult, my insurance company wouldn't cover the visit to the psychiatrist because I'd seen him in a separate location. If I'd seen him at the first hospital, it would have been covered. I can call one or more psychiatrists crazy if they disagree with me. So can they. If I'm uncomfortable enough to do it, it's an insult. If they're uncomfortable enough to do it, it's a diagnosis, which gives them legal authority over precisely those aspects of my life about which we disagree. --Aaron Link Raz Started at 30mg Cymbalta, which, including inactive ingredients, equals 114mg on my scale. July 11, 2011: tapered down to 111mg. Link to comment
JoLe Posted July 8, 2011 Author Share Posted July 8, 2011 Days 17 & 18 I'm sorry for not posting yesterday. We had a death in the family--my cousins' aunt--and I was just preoccupied. Things go on the same. I can call one or more psychiatrists crazy if they disagree with me. So can they. If I'm uncomfortable enough to do it, it's an insult. If they're uncomfortable enough to do it, it's a diagnosis, which gives them legal authority over precisely those aspects of my life about which we disagree. --Aaron Link Raz Started at 30mg Cymbalta, which, including inactive ingredients, equals 114mg on my scale. July 11, 2011: tapered down to 111mg. Link to comment
SaveMooses Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Trust issues, or You can't be too careful, a story of being involuntarily held. This is my worst fear nowadays. When you are legitimately upset for being misunderstood but if you put your foot down, you're crazy! I'm always telling people that I DO NOT want 911 called because when I'm already having a hard time dealing, the LAST thing I need is to be taken from my house, sedated and put in that circle of more anti-depressants when I don't want ANY OF THEM. Valium does just fine for me (so far, as needed) to get over the rough spots lately. No extra help, thanks! Age 11-Depressed~14-Use alcohol and drugs~20-Prozac~21-Zoloft~29-Paxil; Used for 2 yrs; took 5 yrs to recover memory back~39-Raw Thyroid for low T3 & take Prilosec~40-Zoloft stops working, so Lexapro; doesn't work; start counseling. Start 300mg Omega 3 Fish Oil & Vit B Complex. Feel better. Taper off Lexapro unsuccessful~41 (5/22/11)-Quit Lexapro, b/c pills at once. Breakdown at work~(6/26/11)-Start 5mg Lexapro to help WD symptoms~(6/30/11)-Feel better; Able to go back to work.~(9/6/11)- Better! Delay tapering.~(11/14/11)-Taper by skipping 4th day.~(11/20/11)-Crashed. Need another strategy.~(1/14/12)-Start 25mg Zoloft w/Lexapro. Taper to 1/4 Lexapro; success.~(2/17/12)-Stop Lexapro.~43 (2/12/13)-Am great; still on 25mg Zoloft.(9/13/14) Off all meds over a year! Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted July 9, 2011 Administrator Share Posted July 9, 2011 I agree. JoLe, what a frightening story. Do your relatives understand now what they did to you? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
JoLe Posted July 10, 2011 Author Share Posted July 10, 2011 Trust issues, or You can't be too careful, a story of being involuntarily held. This is my worst fear nowadays. When you are legitimately upset for being misunderstood but if you put your foot down, you're crazy! I'm always telling people that I DO NOT want 911 called because when I'm already having a hard time dealing, the LAST thing I need is to be taken from my house, sedated and put in that circle of more anti-depressants when I don't want ANY OF THEM. Valium does just fine for me (so far, as needed) to get over the rough spots lately. No extra help, thanks! God, I know, they act like it's no big deal if they toss a few more drugs into you! I can call one or more psychiatrists crazy if they disagree with me. So can they. If I'm uncomfortable enough to do it, it's an insult. If they're uncomfortable enough to do it, it's a diagnosis, which gives them legal authority over precisely those aspects of my life about which we disagree. --Aaron Link Raz Started at 30mg Cymbalta, which, including inactive ingredients, equals 114mg on my scale. July 11, 2011: tapered down to 111mg. Link to comment
JoLe Posted July 10, 2011 Author Share Posted July 10, 2011 I agree. JoLe, what a frightening story. Do your relatives understand now what they did to you? I think so. I explained it all later, very calmly, how helpless I felt. I can call one or more psychiatrists crazy if they disagree with me. So can they. If I'm uncomfortable enough to do it, it's an insult. If they're uncomfortable enough to do it, it's a diagnosis, which gives them legal authority over precisely those aspects of my life about which we disagree. --Aaron Link Raz Started at 30mg Cymbalta, which, including inactive ingredients, equals 114mg on my scale. July 11, 2011: tapered down to 111mg. Link to comment
JoLe Posted July 10, 2011 Author Share Posted July 10, 2011 Day 19 Nothing to report, still holding my own. I can call one or more psychiatrists crazy if they disagree with me. So can they. If I'm uncomfortable enough to do it, it's an insult. If they're uncomfortable enough to do it, it's a diagnosis, which gives them legal authority over precisely those aspects of my life about which we disagree. --Aaron Link Raz Started at 30mg Cymbalta, which, including inactive ingredients, equals 114mg on my scale. July 11, 2011: tapered down to 111mg. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Rhiannon Posted July 10, 2011 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 10, 2011 I want a really slow taper, what you used to be able to call glacial until the glaciers started melting so fast. snork! :-) sigh... Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010. Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea. Feb 15 2010: 300 mg Neurontin 200 Lamictal 10 Celexa 0.65 Xanax and 5 mg Ambien Feb 10 2014: 62 Lamictal 1.1 Celexa 0.135 Xanax 1.8 Valium Feb 10 2015: 50 Lamictal 0.875 Celexa 0.11 Xanax 1.5 Valium Feb 15 2016: 47.5 Lamictal 0.75 Celexa 0.0875 Xanax 1.42 Valium 2/12/20 12 0.045 0.007 1 May 2021 7 0.01 0.0037 1 Feb 2022 6 0!!! 0.00167 0.98 2.5 mg Ambien Oct 2022 4.5 mg Lamictal (off Celexa, off Xanax) 0.95 Valium Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion. Link to comment
JoLe Posted July 11, 2011 Author Share Posted July 11, 2011 I want a really slow taper, what you used to be able to call glacial until the glaciers started melting so fast. snork! :-) sigh... I know, it's funny and sad.... I can call one or more psychiatrists crazy if they disagree with me. So can they. If I'm uncomfortable enough to do it, it's an insult. If they're uncomfortable enough to do it, it's a diagnosis, which gives them legal authority over precisely those aspects of my life about which we disagree. --Aaron Link Raz Started at 30mg Cymbalta, which, including inactive ingredients, equals 114mg on my scale. July 11, 2011: tapered down to 111mg. Link to comment
JoLe Posted July 11, 2011 Author Share Posted July 11, 2011 Days 20 and 21 Spent yesterday at an out-of-town funeral. I expected to be home earlier than I was, but I'm glad I went. (It was for my cousins' aunt. I barely knew her, but I went for them.) Today I'm going down from 114mg to 111mg. I'm not entirely sure how much that is in actual milligrams of Cymbalta and how much is inactive ingredients. But it's a move in the right direction! Of course I'll keep you informed. I can call one or more psychiatrists crazy if they disagree with me. So can they. If I'm uncomfortable enough to do it, it's an insult. If they're uncomfortable enough to do it, it's a diagnosis, which gives them legal authority over precisely those aspects of my life about which we disagree. --Aaron Link Raz Started at 30mg Cymbalta, which, including inactive ingredients, equals 114mg on my scale. July 11, 2011: tapered down to 111mg. Link to comment
SaveMooses Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 So how are you doing? I haven't seen any posts for a little while. Helen Age 11-Depressed~14-Use alcohol and drugs~20-Prozac~21-Zoloft~29-Paxil; Used for 2 yrs; took 5 yrs to recover memory back~39-Raw Thyroid for low T3 & take Prilosec~40-Zoloft stops working, so Lexapro; doesn't work; start counseling. Start 300mg Omega 3 Fish Oil & Vit B Complex. Feel better. Taper off Lexapro unsuccessful~41 (5/22/11)-Quit Lexapro, b/c pills at once. Breakdown at work~(6/26/11)-Start 5mg Lexapro to help WD symptoms~(6/30/11)-Feel better; Able to go back to work.~(9/6/11)- Better! Delay tapering.~(11/14/11)-Taper by skipping 4th day.~(11/20/11)-Crashed. Need another strategy.~(1/14/12)-Start 25mg Zoloft w/Lexapro. Taper to 1/4 Lexapro; success.~(2/17/12)-Stop Lexapro.~43 (2/12/13)-Am great; still on 25mg Zoloft.(9/13/14) Off all meds over a year! Link to comment
JoLe Posted July 18, 2011 Author Share Posted July 18, 2011 So how are you doing? I haven't seen any posts for a little while. Helen I am so sorry! I'm really doing fine, it's just--I find it really hard to post when I have nothing to say! I know it should be easier, but for some reason I find myself playing solitaire instead. (Solitaire is nearly as addictive as antidepressants. ) I can call one or more psychiatrists crazy if they disagree with me. So can they. If I'm uncomfortable enough to do it, it's an insult. If they're uncomfortable enough to do it, it's a diagnosis, which gives them legal authority over precisely those aspects of my life about which we disagree. --Aaron Link Raz Started at 30mg Cymbalta, which, including inactive ingredients, equals 114mg on my scale. July 11, 2011: tapered down to 111mg. Link to comment
JoLe Posted July 18, 2011 Author Share Posted July 18, 2011 Days 22-28 There's nothing going on, which for me makes posting really hard. I feel like I need to say something! I'm doing just fine, no problems at all with the decrease. My mood's actually pretty up, and I'm feeling quite happy. But I am very sorry for not posting this last week. I've been a writer for so long, I think the need to say something is very powerful in me, and if I have nothing to say, I should just keep quiet. I can call one or more psychiatrists crazy if they disagree with me. So can they. If I'm uncomfortable enough to do it, it's an insult. If they're uncomfortable enough to do it, it's a diagnosis, which gives them legal authority over precisely those aspects of my life about which we disagree. --Aaron Link Raz Started at 30mg Cymbalta, which, including inactive ingredients, equals 114mg on my scale. July 11, 2011: tapered down to 111mg. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted July 18, 2011 Administrator Share Posted July 18, 2011 Well, that's good news -- the taper is working for you. Could you put your tapering progress in your signature? This would help people catching up with your posts. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
JoLe Posted July 18, 2011 Author Share Posted July 18, 2011 Well, that's good news -- the taper is working for you. Could you put your tapering progress in your signature? This would help people catching up with your posts. Of course! I can call one or more psychiatrists crazy if they disagree with me. So can they. If I'm uncomfortable enough to do it, it's an insult. If they're uncomfortable enough to do it, it's a diagnosis, which gives them legal authority over precisely those aspects of my life about which we disagree. --Aaron Link Raz Started at 30mg Cymbalta, which, including inactive ingredients, equals 114mg on my scale. July 11, 2011: tapered down to 111mg. Link to comment
SaveMooses Posted July 18, 2011 Share Posted July 18, 2011 I understand about Solitaire being addictive. I am one of those horrible FarmVille people on Facebook! I am ALWAYS on that and I find it helps me focus on something OTHER than my insanity! LOL! I'm glad to hear you are doing well! Age 11-Depressed~14-Use alcohol and drugs~20-Prozac~21-Zoloft~29-Paxil; Used for 2 yrs; took 5 yrs to recover memory back~39-Raw Thyroid for low T3 & take Prilosec~40-Zoloft stops working, so Lexapro; doesn't work; start counseling. Start 300mg Omega 3 Fish Oil & Vit B Complex. Feel better. Taper off Lexapro unsuccessful~41 (5/22/11)-Quit Lexapro, b/c pills at once. Breakdown at work~(6/26/11)-Start 5mg Lexapro to help WD symptoms~(6/30/11)-Feel better; Able to go back to work.~(9/6/11)- Better! Delay tapering.~(11/14/11)-Taper by skipping 4th day.~(11/20/11)-Crashed. Need another strategy.~(1/14/12)-Start 25mg Zoloft w/Lexapro. Taper to 1/4 Lexapro; success.~(2/17/12)-Stop Lexapro.~43 (2/12/13)-Am great; still on 25mg Zoloft.(9/13/14) Off all meds over a year! Link to comment
JoLe Posted July 20, 2011 Author Share Posted July 20, 2011 I understand about Solitaire being addictive. I am one of those horrible FarmVille people on Facebook! I am ALWAYS on that and I find it helps me focus on something OTHER than my insanity! LOL! I'm glad to hear you are doing well! Solitaire is just evil! Where is the group for withdrawing from Farmville and Spider?? I can call one or more psychiatrists crazy if they disagree with me. So can they. If I'm uncomfortable enough to do it, it's an insult. If they're uncomfortable enough to do it, it's a diagnosis, which gives them legal authority over precisely those aspects of my life about which we disagree. --Aaron Link Raz Started at 30mg Cymbalta, which, including inactive ingredients, equals 114mg on my scale. July 11, 2011: tapered down to 111mg. Link to comment
JoLe Posted July 20, 2011 Author Share Posted July 20, 2011 Days 29 & 30 I'm sorry for missing yesterday, but I swear it was the fault of the internets. Well, and my leaving it 'til just before bed, when I was sleepy and impatient with connectivity problems. From now on, posting before noon. And I'm doing fine. I can call one or more psychiatrists crazy if they disagree with me. So can they. If I'm uncomfortable enough to do it, it's an insult. If they're uncomfortable enough to do it, it's a diagnosis, which gives them legal authority over precisely those aspects of my life about which we disagree. --Aaron Link Raz Started at 30mg Cymbalta, which, including inactive ingredients, equals 114mg on my scale. July 11, 2011: tapered down to 111mg. Link to comment
Nadia Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 Great to hear! I like how you started with not so much of an introduction, but a plan of action. Great spirit! '94-'08 On/off ADs. Mostly Zoloft & Wellbutrin, but also Prozac, Celexa, Effexor, etc.6/08 quit Z & W after tapering, awful anxiety 3 mos. later, reinstated.11/10 CTed. Severe anxiety 3 mos. later & @ 8 mos. much worse (set off by metronidazole). Anxiety, depression, anhedonia, DP, DR, dizziness, severe insomnia, high serum AM cortisol, flu-like feelings, muscle discomfort.9/11-9/12 Waves and windows of recovery.10/12 Awful relapse, DP/DR. Hydrocortisone?11/12 Improved fairly quickly even though relapse was one of worst waves ever. 1/13 Best I've ever felt. 3/13 A bit of a relapse... then faster and shorter waves and windows. 4/14 Have to watch out for triggers, but feel completely normal about 80% of the time. Link to comment
Nadia Posted July 21, 2011 Share Posted July 21, 2011 Wow JoLe... I hope for the world out there that you make this into a book. I relate to so much of what you have told us... with variations on family peculiarities, of course, but all the same. What I DO admire is your sense of humor, how you can relate it all in a way that seems so light and full of perspective. My version of the same would be sophomoric and pathetic. Here, I'll demonstrate: I had a very similar experience to your forced hospital go. I had gotten into a bad fight with my boyfriend, and took more clonazepam than normal (usually I just took 1/4 or 1/2 a pill now and then)... this time I wanted it to help me sleeeep (forever my drug of choice to help me process... and I've always had trouble processing anger) so I took about 3 pills, woke up, and then took three more. At some point in the middle of all of this, though, I was emailing an old friend in California about how angry I was, and since I was groggy (and, well, angry) I had some spelling mistakes and general weirdness going on in my email. This freaked out my friend, who was accustomed to more precise grammar and spelling on my part. Add to this that he knew that years prior I had been in a psychiatric ward for a week = he decided to call 911 in my state to warn them of a possible suicide. I was in a deep, deep slumber when I heard what sounded like someone trying to break into my house. I went peaked out of my back door in my sleep T-shirt to see what was going on. There was an ambulance and a paramedic there, saying they had gotten a call about a possible suicide. I was confused, said no... no suicide. But the paramedic took advantage of my grogginess and asked to take my blood pressure. I was like, well, fine, if that will convince you I'm OK. But that was an invitation in the door (dumb, drugged me fell right into the trap). A police officer was at the front door as well, and the paramedics let him in. They started rifling through my house, and found an empty beer bottle and the clonazepam bottle, which happened to be nearly empty. I told them it was just coincidence, and proved it by bringing out a whole other bottle full of untouched clonazepam. They said they were going to have to take me to the hospital anyway. I said I was fine and didn't want to go. They said I had no choice At this point the police officer saw a bumper sticker I had on my bookshelf that said "There's no government like no government", and he started asking me if I was "anti-government" and harassing me about my political views. (If he really thought I was suicidal, what the hell kind of approach was that?) I tried calling my therapist, but he was of no help... he would not tell them anything and suggested I go along with what they wanted (everyone covering their ass like you mention... inherent distrust of anything that comes out of a "mental" person). So I said if I was going to go, at least let me get dressed and go to the bathroom first. I got some pants and went into the bathroom. As I tried to close the door the paramedic slammed it open. She said she didn't want me doing anything sneaky in there (slitting my wrists with a toothbrush in a mad suicidal rush??). She made me pee and put my pants on in front of her, with the police officer glaring at me the whole time from my living room as well. So effing humiliating. At the hospital they took a blood sample and made me talk to the psychiatrist. Once they saw that the level of clonazepam I had in my system was pretty darn low, they let me go under the supervision of a friend. It took me weeks to get over the horror of the experience (OK, maybe I'm still not quite over it). It made me feel so powerless that someone could come into my house and tell me what to do. And my insurance didn't cover the 500 dollar ambulance I never asked for. I resolved to do my utmost to never have that happen again. Have you seen this? http://www.hsperson.com/pages/hsp.htm What you say about crumbs in the bed... that is so me. Just a few months ago, when I was first getting off antidepressants, I told my boyfriend that more than depressive, I thought I was ultra-sensitive. What I loved about taking ADs is that it took the edge off. I felt stronger, more centered, able to deal. The world did not seem like such a strange, unfamiliar, hostile place any more. Now I'm paying for 16 years of using that crutch. I'm hoping to be able to find other avenues of comfort and OKness. Thanks so much for sharing your stories with us. It's truly the first time in a while I've felt amused (in the very best sense)! '94-'08 On/off ADs. Mostly Zoloft & Wellbutrin, but also Prozac, Celexa, Effexor, etc.6/08 quit Z & W after tapering, awful anxiety 3 mos. later, reinstated.11/10 CTed. Severe anxiety 3 mos. later & @ 8 mos. much worse (set off by metronidazole). Anxiety, depression, anhedonia, DP, DR, dizziness, severe insomnia, high serum AM cortisol, flu-like feelings, muscle discomfort.9/11-9/12 Waves and windows of recovery.10/12 Awful relapse, DP/DR. Hydrocortisone?11/12 Improved fairly quickly even though relapse was one of worst waves ever. 1/13 Best I've ever felt. 3/13 A bit of a relapse... then faster and shorter waves and windows. 4/14 Have to watch out for triggers, but feel completely normal about 80% of the time. Link to comment
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