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Lilu

Uncontrollable crying spells during and after withdrawal

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I would like to know if any of you have found and used any good techniques for coping with crying spells? What is the best way to stop them in their tracks?

 

This symptom is the worst for me: Unctrollable crying spells that can last for hours and hours. I cry at the drop of a hat. Almost any sad or negative thought can trigger it. And with withdrawal there are so many negative and sad thoughts. Once the water-works starts, I just don't know how to stop it. It's like a waterfall that has it's own momentum.  After crying for hours, I can barely function.  It's awful.

 

Of course the doctors and therapists all want me to raise my medication dose or try another one.  But I've been tapering for over a year from 5 mg of Lexapro down to .35 mg. I'm tapering 5% per week. But the dose is so low, it's probably like nothing.  It doesn't make sense to raise it. Below 5 mg, it really doesn't do much.  And of course than the side effects start.  

 

 I've been learning about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy lately. After 2 years in therapy and getting angry with my therapist, at my insistence she's finally teaching me about CBT.  She of course absolutely has no  understanding of the severity of symptoms triggered by withdrawal. I think I will giver my therapist and my psychiatrist a copy of this

http://npanth.wordpress.com/2012/03/14/phases-of-ssri-withdrawal/

to help them understand better.

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Of course the doctors and therapists all want me to raise my medication dose or try another one.  But I've been tapering for over a year from 5 mg of Lexapro down to .35 mg. I'm tapering 5% per week. But the dose is so low, it's probably like nothing.  

Congrats on the taper! My understanding is that at the lower doses it becomes harder. Do you think slowing down your taper with longer holds would help?

 

I am flat in emotions and at a much higher dose than you ( 13.8 mg) and so when I tear up it is like a celebration… WOW!! I can feel!!

 

Sorry you are going through ths.

 

RU

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Congrats on the taper! My understanding is that at the lower doses it becomes harder. Do you think slowing down your taper with longer holds would help?

 

To use a very clinical term...my brain must be going bonkers.  After a month of crying spells and feeling suicidal, it all just stopped. Poof just like that. I've had 3 days now of feeling perfectly happy and content.  No negative thoughts, no crying, no insomnia.  So so weird.  So bizarre. I'm so glad I hung in there and didn't succumb to trying yet another antidepressant!   This really gives me hope that there will be a time when my brain and my emotions will be totally fine.  And it gives me more resolve to hang in there.  

Reading this article helped to remind me that what I'm going through is all part of withdrawal and is perfectly normal. That it happens to everyone and is just a phase, and not ME.  http://npanth.wordpress.com/2012/03/14/phases-of-ssri-withdrawal/

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I am flat in emotions and at a much higher dose than you ( 13.8 mg) and so when I tear up it is like a celebration… WOW!! I can feel!!

I remember not crying for a year when I was on Pristiq.  I don't remember feeling flat. Maybe I was. But considering that I am prone to crying spells, I did not miss them at all.  Being moved to tears is one thing, but having crying spells that can last 5 hours is a totally different monster.  It feels utterly hopeless. Completely engulfed in total despair and darkness.  Unable to stop it, I feel desperate to do just about anything to make it stop.  It is when I am most vulnerable and susceptible.  Even my therapist and psych doc don't know what to do with me.  

 

I've been going to a Dialectical  Behavioral Therapy group for over a year, and their Distress Tolerance handout is totally useless for times like these.  I really don't get how DBT therapy is helpful for those who are suicidal. I'm guessing that most people don't commit suicide when they are having crying spells.  It seems that most people who commit suicide are very sure and calm and deliberate about it, and plan it ahead of time.  I've never been in that state. If I'm calm, I'm rational. But if I'm crying, all bets are off.

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Does anybody else have severe crying spells as part of their withdrawal?  Sometimes my crying spells can last an entire day.  And nothing that I try to do seems to stop them. Not even taking a walk in nature.

I think Ambien has been contributing to the crying spells lately. But I have nothing else that works for insomnia.  Hypnotherapy used to work, but for some reason has stopped working. I don't know if my mind has just gotten used to the script.

Recently I tried a new drug for sleep called Rozerem. My God, it was awful. I felt so tired and sluggish the next day, it was like a muscle relaxant. The drowsiness lasted two days.  It seems that I'm becoming more and more hypersensitive to meds, as many of you report.

Yet when I wake up at 2am and can't fall back asleep, by 6 or 7 am I'm angry, anxious and panicky. Then the crying starts.  It's a vicious circle.

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Many people have reported intermittent weeping as a withdrawal symptom. I had this myself.

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Many people have reported intermittent weeping as a withdrawal symptom. I had this myself.

Thanks for the reply, Alto. "Intermittent weeping" is something I could handle. But crying 12 hours straight, with a few breaks in between, is just insane.

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Lilu, I get these too. When I first came off the drugs, I was crying hysterically for hours on end. I couldn't believe that a human being was capable of that many tears! Recently, the crying spells went away but I got hit with a massive wave 3 weeks ago and I'm getting them again. Perhaps not so often, though, or as long lasting.

 

A lot of benzo people get massive crying spells.

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Lilu, I get these too. When I first came off the drugs, I was crying hysterically for hours on end. I couldn't believe that a human being was capable of that many tears! Recently, the crying spells went away but I got hit with a massive wave 3 weeks ago and I'm getting them again. Perhaps not so often, though, or as long lasting.

 

A lot of benzo people get massive crying spells.

Well that's good to know. Right now, I think my crying spells are related to insomnia, sleep deprivation, and using Ambien.  It's been a vicious circle pretty much ever since I finished my taper in August.  Oh how I want to sleep. And oh how I want to stop using Ambien. I really do see a direct correlation, but nothing else seems to work. I don't know why Ambien started giving me crying spells and worsening my depression, but that's what it seems to do the last couple of years. I wonder if Ambien and benzos are related in some way.  

Recently I've been wondering if using Xanax back in 2002 had something to do with the onset of my clinical depression. I've always blamed Reglan for that. But recently I remembered that I had been using Xanax for 5 months around that time. I quit after it started giving me hyperacusis and I couldn't tolerate even going to the store because the buzzing of the fluorescent lights sounded so loud.  I didn't know anything about these drugs or withdrawal back then.  I had quite a few crying spells back then, deep depression, paranoia type feelings of future doom, fear, thoughts of suicide.  Reglan is can cause these, but now I wonder if my 5 month use of Xanax was a major contributor to that as well.  Ugghh...if only I knew then, what I know now. These days I use Klonopin, a benzo, on & off instead of using Ambien. But it's so long-acting, and I'm not sure how it's really affecting me.  God, I just want to sleep.....

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The last two nights I fell asleep without any medication what-so-ever. No benadryl, or 5htp, or klonopin, or ambien.  I slept thru the night without waking. Woke up fully rested.

What did I do differently?  I did Qi Gong (pronounced chi gong).  I did 20 min of an exercise video that I taped from a special on Public Television.  Lee Holden "Qi Gong: The Flow Continues" 

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Lee+Holden+Qi+Gong

 

I never did Chi Gong before, and I must say it's really quite amazing in the way that it both calms and energizes. I like that I'm able to do it even though I'm not in shape. I like that you can do it standing up and it's all continuous gentle movement. I enjoyed it much more than Yoga, which I find way too difficult to do, even though I'm pretty flexible.

 

Yesterday, I didn't do it in the morning. But when I felt wired, anxious, and unable to relax to go to sleep, I got up and just moved my body so as to get all the negative and toxic energy and thoughts out. I did some of the Qi Gong movements from memory and also just shaking it all out. It worked. Yay!  And even though I didn't get the 8 hours that I need last night, I still feel fully rested.

 

Omg, this makes me feel so hopeful. Now I just need to commit to doing it everyday.

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Great suggestion, Lilu. Please start a topic about Qi Gong.

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Can someone, anyone, please tell me how long crying spells last. I have been off Paxil for 4 months (took it for 9 years) now and everything makes me cry. Ive been feeling really sad too (off and on). Im contemplating starting back up on it just to have some relief and get back to feeling normal. I dont want to that. I just dont know if this is just how it is going to be or if it will get better. If it will get better how long does it take? Four months is a long time and I just need to know there will be a light at the end of the tunnel and how long the tunnel is. I just dont know how long I can hold off.

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@Lulia, no one knows, it is different for everyone. I am 18 months off, took them the same amount of time as you and still and got them along with many other symptoms(see my signature), some got ride of them after a few months some have them a much longer period of time. And 4 months off seems an eternity because you suffer but it really isn't a long time since you took Paxil for 9 YEARS ! 9 years of modified brain chemistry isn't going to fix so quit.

Paxil is especially known to cause long withdrawals, even wiki says up to 18 months in some cases. Just try to hold on an go on with your life as much as you can.

 

" Most cases of discontinuation syndrome last between one and four weeks, are relatively mild, and resolve on their own; in rare cases symptoms can be severe or extended.[1] Paroxetine (Paxil) and venlafaxine (Effexor) seem to be particularly difficult to discontinue and prolonged withdrawal syndrome lasting over 18 months have been reported with paroxetine.[5][6][7] "

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Lucia, crying spells were a biggy for me. They hit as soon as I came off zoloft in March 2014. They were very severe and I couldn't control them. I wouldn't often wake up with them and they woul go on for hours. Sometimes they got so bad that I was sick or couldn't breathe.

 

They would sometimes stop, only to start up again.

 

Crying spells went on for about a year for me, with breaks. Currently I haven't had one for over three weeks.

 

Yours will go away in time.

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I should have read the above before I posted! I meant to say I would often wake up with them. I was straight into crying as soon as I opened my eyes.

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I had crying spells while tapering Lexapro. But I also found that my crying spells were magnified and often caused by Ambien and Klonopin, which I have been using for insomnia for the last 15 years.  It took me a long time to accept the fact that all the hypnotics or sleep drugs, like Ambien, Lunesta, Sonata, or benzos like Ativan and Klonopin - all caused me to have uncontrollable crying spells after I had finished my taper. I guess that is part of the protracted withdrawal that I am still going through. Now, I find that any central nervous system depressant, even Mirtazapine (Rameron), which is an antidepressant, gives me crying spells. I've even become sensitive to antihistamines and decongestants. Benadryl recently made me restless and agitated and I was up all night. Not sure about Zyrtec at this point. (I need to take it to help with terrible allergies that I have year round.) 

It's been a very long journey. It's been a very long protracted withdrawal. But it is slowly getting better and better. You just have to hang in there and use every stress-management and distress-tolerance skill that might help.

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Lucia, crying spells were a biggy for me. They hit as soon as I came off zoloft in March 2014. They were very severe and I couldn't control them. I wouldn't often wake up with them and they woul go on for hours. Sometimes they got so bad that I was sick or couldn't breathe.

 

They would sometimes stop, only to start up again.

 

Crying spells went on for about a year for me, with breaks. Currently I haven't had one for over three weeks.

 

Yours will go away in time.

Hmm...I am having the same sypmtoms right now with Remeron. Crying spells and Insomnia. Do you know anything that makes it better when I quit cold turkey from the medication?

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I'm very sorry to hear this provize. I pretty much did a cold turkey too. My tapers were rapid and all over the place. The crying spells feel like they will never end but they will. I thought I'd have mine forever! And you know what? I haven't had any since February this year. That's over 4 months with no crying. And I really don't think they will come back.

 

I'm doing insomnia at the moment. It will pass as will your insomnia. It all means that healing is going on and when the healing is done, this will all go away.

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it's got to be a Lexapro withdrawal thing in reference to the first post.......mine is back........crying and I mean it is not just over the grieving type and why me stuff it is sometimes a reaction to simple kindnesses or someone telling me good stuff that they like about me or thinking about my grandniece I so want to travel and meet.....

 

it doesn't exhaust me anymore just is kind of annoying and don't want to share it with kind people because then they uber want to fix it or go all feeling sorry for me or else get into all the stuff that makes them WANT to cry and honestly........too much baggage for me really right now......i over absorb pretty easily too.

 

this round is easier if it is any consolation.  Don't fight it.........welcome it on in and it makes it so much less exhausting I have found.

 

heck i want to cry because i am being hit with wanting other people to have to suffer this way too......like it's their fault.......it isn't and that is so not how i want to end up.......all bitter and critical and unable to find joy in others happiness........i mean that is what is going to eventually enlarge my circle of positives and hope, feeling good just because others are.......keeping that going........in a healthy the cup really is halfway with water kind of ideation.

 

it IS hard stuff to acknowledge and try and welcome, then let go off.

 

maybe that relates.......hope so.  And here's a paper towel........sorry no tissues, just being economical.......lol........that is my cynical joke.

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I'm very sorry to hear this provize. I pretty much did a cold turkey too. My tapers were rapid and all over the place. The crying spells feel like they will never end but they will. I thought I'd have mine forever! And you know what? I haven't had any since February this year. That's over 4 months with no crying. And I really don't think they will come back.

 

I'm doing insomnia at the moment. It will pass as will your insomnia. It all means that healing is going on and when the healing is done, this will all go away.

My doctor also said that my blood tests, were all Ok. But I was found with an infection, with my ears and eardrums, all of the Emotional stress makes things worse. Even when we got difficult times in the family. The only thing remeron did good for me was a weight gain, but now I know that the weight loss is due to stress, I don't feel like myself at all right now.  How long were you on Remeron? INSOMNIA DISSAPEAR! I was also wrote onto melatonin, which helps to sleep, but I feel like it does not help. Bad english

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I wasn't on remeron. The doctor wanted to put me on it but then said he couldn't because of my neutropenia. I meant that I pretty much cold turkeyed my other drugs. I hope you get some relief soon.

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I've read this link many times this week. What is not standing out to me are any indications of how long the intensity of crying and panic lasts for, for other as well as some strategies that help.

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Yes I definitely have crying spells which are most pronounced before my monthly cycle and when a new physical symptom shows up (fear).

 

They just pop up and can last on and off throughout the day.

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Lilu and everyone who has experienced crying spells.  Im putting my hand up too.  My crying spells started 2 years before i was diagnosed with clinical depression.  Mine were mostly related to relationships going bad, the moment i think of how my then partner looked or talked to other women or was late in calling me or picking me up; insecurity and fear would build up in me, and once i had experienced enough of these episodes the spells would start and i would cry for days and days literally.  People didn't know how to help me, because i was inconsolable which then led to the diagnosis.  

 

I've been experiencing the same crying episodes now, worse before and a few days into my period.  I really thought i was over the crying episodes as i believe i have moved on and in a much much better place than i ever was, so when i began to have crying spells from 3 months after stopping AD's  I was really suprised to be experiencing these same old feelings.  I think i cried more because i was crying over the old feelings.  Im looking foward to therapy to help with these trigger thoughts which bring about the crying spells.  At times they come from no real trigger other than feeling hopeless.

 

We will get better though!

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See the thread titled 

how to lower cortisol 

all the ideas and things tried already are in there.... 

 

epson salt bath...for sleep when you can't sleep lay down anyway and rest deep relaxation search it on utube it will be the first video... eft utube too the guy in the red shirt 

 

if you feel like you have had too much coffee jittery inside small amount of magnesium but for me the bath is better the coffee feeling is stopped in its tracks by taurine I learned this by trying tauring for migraines... 

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I've read this link many times this week. What is not standing out to me are any indications of how long the intensity of crying and panic lasts for, for other as well as some strategies that help.

 

I think the intensity and duration of crying spells will be different for everybody. We're all on different medications, dosages, and duration. We all have highly individual body and brain chemistry, which affects every aspect of withdrawal.

 

For me, the crying spells became progressively worse with the tapering of medication. If I went below 2 mg Lexapro I go worse, if I went back up, I got better. After I finished the taper, and developed severe insomnia, I was crying pretty much all day. This wasn't just  the kind of crying where you just tear-up a little on and off. No, this was full-blown uncontrollable inconsolable out-loud sobbing that felt like my soul was being ripped out of my chest. Tragic. Intense. Awful.  My eyes hurt every day and my vision was blurry because I was crying so much.  Then came night time which did not offer any respite from the suffering of the day. The unrelenting insomnia kept me tossing and turning, wide-eyed and panicked. 

 

I tried everything. Nothing helped. I tried every supplement suggested here and many prescription meds. I tried hypnosis, deep breathing, meditation, qigong, guided imagery, cognitive behavioral therapy, group therapy, talk therapy, and more.

 

Attempting to withdraw from psychiatric drugs after being on them for 10 years was a HUGE MISTAKE.  It robbed me of years off my life, my livelihood, money, friends, and worst of all my health. Because of the inordinate amount of crying that I engaged in everyday and the breakdown of my nervous system, I wound up with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and a Movement Disorder.  

 

I have since mostly recovered from all of the above. The only way to achieve this recovery was to go back on Lexapro. Aside from not going on antidepressants in the first place, this is the antidepressant I should have been on, not Effexor or Pristiq, which raised my anxiety and were barely effective.

 

As I went back on Lexapro, I used liquid generic Lexapro * to taper UP.  Within 3 weeks there was a marked improvement in my sleep. (I also stopped Klonopin and Ambien cold turkey). My crying spells significantly decreased at 2 mg. And my depression slowly began to lift. At 2.5 mg there was still occasional crying spells, but my sleep was steadily improving.  However it wasn't until I reached 4 mg where I really started to see a difference.  There have been no crying spells at 5 mg. Still I continued to be plagued by trauma memories of all my torturous experiences due to withdrawal.  I wish I had never attempted getting off antidepressants. 

 

Being on Lexapro 5 mg for 5 months now, I do not have crying spells anymore and I'm sleeping 8 to 10 hours per night. My nervous system has recovered and I don't have panic attacks or anxiety for no reason.  I can drink strong coffee again! My movement disorder, Functional Spinal Myoclonus, has almost disappeared. It has taken me almost a year to get to this point. I still have lingering depression, but I think at this point it is mostly due to my isolation, (no friends, no job). But at least now, I am mentally well enough to think about trying to volunteer somewhere and eventually get a job again.

 

The fact is that I was in denial about the severity of my depression for a long time. I've had crying spells and melancholia since I was a teenager. I have been plagued by thoughts of death all my life - fearing the death of my loved ones, and being chronically suicidal.  I have always suffered from "love addiction" and completely fall apart when lovers or close girlfriends leave me. This was my reality BEFORE I ever took an antidepressant.

 

Some people on this website claim that depression is a symptom of abusive childhoods or a side-effect of medication.  My mental problems can definitely be contributed to an emotionally abusive parent. However, no amount of therapy has helped. I have tried so many things over the years. And I started so young. I picked up my first psychology book at age 13 and started learning about mental health!  So sad. All those hours of journaling, self-inquiry, meditation, reading self-help books, talk therapy, trying to alter my beliefs and become more positive thru various spiritual modalities, group therapy, CBT workshops, art therapy, hypnosis, and on and on.... Sure, there were short term benefits, but nothing ever worked in the long run.

 

This doesn't mean that those things aren't worth doing. I still suffer from a flat down mood on some days as well as negative thoughts and low energy.  But I'm not willing to raise my medication dose, and so I must try to use these non-medication therapies to improve my mental state. This is now possible, since I am finally mentally and physically stable due to antidepressant therapy. That is my foundation. You cannot build a house without first laying down a foundation that can support the structures above.  I am ready to start building the rest of my house.

 

I have accepted the fact that I might have to take an antidepressant for the rest of my life. As long as it keeps working without causing me any major side-effects, then I'm ok with that.  

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Perhaps the above would be a fitting interim ending post in your thread, Lilu? Notice I said 'interim'. Puts it out there that your situation might change some time in the future.

 

Not everyone is ok with getting off antidepressants, this we all know. But as this is a site for peer support getting off them, your post would be eminently more useful in your thread. It is an excellent summation of your experience and should be kept with your story. I for one think it is valuable for people to see, not lost here in a thread about uncontrollable crying spells, because it is far deeper than that. You relate it to the quality of your life in a compelling way.

 

I sense you have always disliked my posts, that's ok. I've always been your quiet champion. I suffered from crying spells too, they were the reason I always went on the drugs, 4 times worth. I lost 4 jobs because I could not stop crying. But now, off the meds, my life is much different. Not good but I don't need the meds anymore because I don't have the luxury of working, now that my life has been ruined. The social security checks are coming, small as they are and not enough to live on, but they at least provide food and a roof. You are younger, you'll be able to turn your life around. I wish you all the luck in the world getting it done.

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As far as the crying spells as related to Lexapro withdrawal.  My own experience is..........at 19 mos. off........and I had gone to 3mg. from 5mg. and then was CTed while in the psych. hospital(not recommending my method by any means) it does get better, somewhat........or is better at this time.  As with all the neuroemotions that get amplified I think the best you can do is limit exposures.......at least those exposures that could be emotional.  Anger, resentments, sorrow, grief, annoyances, etc.

 

And honestly......you can't control all that might cause emotions during this period.  I mean stuff happens that just can't always be avoided or limited.

 

Of course exercise does, without a doubt help........in any form you can handle.  Oh, and not resisting when the crying comes helps me alot now to minimize it......recognize it........even say to whoever I may be with that sheesh, I'll be glad when I don't cry so much anymore.

 

And if I can find a movie once in awhile.......to shed the tears during.........let it all out..........well I think that has helped me too.

 

Sorry.......some of this may have been said above.......I didn't read all the responses due to my neuro focus still being a bit.......not the best..........yet improving.

 

p.s. and for me, just since we are all a little different with this stuff......the Lexapro decreased my propensity to tears.  I have always been a crier........but alas, I now do know the experience of being a down on my knees or the floor wailer, that was never the case in my adulthood, although I peg myself as emotionally about 10-13 years old now.......tis what it tis and it WILL get better!

 

And this to CW5600, I don't recall your age but if it's 50 something like me now........we can turn it around too........our lives........you know, referring to what you said above.  Just have to believe and it will be so..........starting to feel optimistic again.......... :huh:

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I've read this link many times this week. What is not standing out to me are any indications of how long the intensity of crying and panic lasts for, for other as well as some strategies that help.

 

I think the intensity and duration of crying spells will be different for everybody. We're all on different medications, dosages, and duration. We all have highly individual body and brain chemistry, which affects every aspect of withdrawal.

 

For me, the crying spells became progressively worse with the tapering of medication. If I went below 2 mg Lexapro I go worse, if I went back up, I got better. After I finished the taper, and developed severe insomnia, I was crying pretty much all day. This wasn't just  the kind of crying where you just tear-up a little on and off. No, this was full-blown uncontrollable inconsolable out-loud sobbing that felt like my soul was being ripped out of my chest. Tragic. Intense. Awful.  My eyes hurt every day and my vision was blurry because I was crying so much.  Then came night time which did not offer any respite from the suffering of the day. The unrelenting insomnia kept me tossing and turning, wide-eyed and panicked. 

 

I tried everything. Nothing helped. I tried every supplement suggested here and many prescription meds. I tried hypnosis, deep breathing, meditation, qigong, guided imagery, cognitive behavioral therapy, group therapy, talk therapy, and more.

 

Attempting to withdraw from psychiatric drugs after being on them for 10 years was a HUGE MISTAKE.  It robbed me of years off my life, my livelihood, money, friends, and worst of all my health. Because of the inordinate amount of crying that I engaged in everyday and the breakdown of my nervous system, I wound up with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) and a Movement Disorder.  

 

I have since mostly recovered from all of the above. The only way to achieve this recovery was to go back on Lexapro. Aside from not going on antidepressants in the first place, this is the antidepressant I should have been on, not Effexor or Pristiq, which raised my anxiety and were barely effective.

 

As I went back on Lexapro, I used liquid generic Lexapro * to taper UP.  Within 3 weeks there was a marked improvement in my sleep. (I also stopped Klonopin and Ambien cold turkey). My crying spells significantly decreased at 2 mg. And my depression slowly began to lift. At 2.5 mg there was still occasional crying spells, but my sleep was steadily improving.  However it wasn't until I reached 4 mg where I really started to see a difference.  There have been no crying spells at 5 mg. Still I continued to be plagued by trauma memories of all my torturous experiences due to withdrawal.  I wish I had never attempted getting off antidepressants. 

 

Being on Lexapro 5 mg for 5 months now, I do not have crying spells anymore and I'm sleeping 8 to 10 hours per night. My nervous system has recovered and I don't have panic attacks or anxiety for no reason.  I can drink strong coffee again! My movement disorder, Functional Spinal Myoclonus, has almost disappeared. It has taken me almost a year to get to this point. I still have lingering depression, but I think at this point it is mostly due to my isolation, (no friends, no job). But at least now, I am mentally well enough to think about trying to volunteer somewhere and eventually get a job again.

 

The fact is that I was in denial about the severity of my depression for a long time. I've had crying spells and melancholia since I was a teenager. I have been plagued by thoughts of death all my life - fearing the death of my loved ones, and being chronically suicidal.  I have always suffered from "love addiction" and completely fall apart when lovers or close girlfriends leave me. This was my reality BEFORE I ever took an antidepressant.

 

Some people on this website claim that depression is a symptom of abusive childhoods or a side-effect of medication.  My mental problems can definitely be contributed to an emotionally abusive parent. However, no amount of therapy has helped. I have tried so many things over the years. And I started so young. I picked up my first psychology book at age 13 and started learning about mental health!  So sad. All those hours of journaling, self-inquiry, meditation, reading self-help books, talk therapy, trying to alter my beliefs and become more positive thru various spiritual modalities, group therapy, CBT workshops, art therapy, hypnosis, and on and on.... Sure, there were short term benefits, but nothing ever worked in the long run.

 

This doesn't mean that those things aren't worth doing. I still suffer from a flat down mood on some days as well as negative thoughts and low energy.  But I'm not willing to raise my medication dose, and so I must try to use these non-medication therapies to improve my mental state. This is now possible, since I am finally mentally and physically stable due to antidepressant therapy. That is my foundation. You cannot build a house without first laying down a foundation that can support the structures above.  I am ready to start building the rest of my house.

 

I have accepted the fact that I might have to take an antidepressant for the rest of my life. As long as it keeps working without causing me any major side-effects, then I'm ok with that.  

 

Lilu, im noticing we have similar tendencies; 1. having mellancolla from a young age  2. falling apart at the thought of or when someone leaves me.  3.  the crying spells, i can relate; I used to howl so much, that all the neighbours in the block of flats i lived in could hear me.

All unpleasant and I really wish i was not like this because it is really really difficult to live being this way.  However, there is hope always. 

I noticed you were taking a number of medications, that sure does complicate things but hats off for trying everything.  

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Perhaps the above would be a fitting interim ending post in your thread, Lilu? Notice I said 'interim'. Puts it out there that your situation might change some time in the future.

 

Not everyone is ok with getting off antidepressants, this we all know. But as this is a site for peer support getting off them, your post would be eminently more useful in your thread. It is an excellent summation of your experience and should be kept with your story. I for one think it is valuable for people to see, not lost here in a thread about uncontrollable crying spells, because it is far deeper than that. You relate it to the quality of your life in a compelling way.

 

I sense you have always disliked my posts, that's ok. I've always been your quiet champion. I suffered from crying spells too, they were the reason I always went on the drugs, 4 times worth. I lost 4 jobs because I could not stop crying. But now, off the meds, my life is much different. Not good but I don't need the meds anymore because I don't have the luxury of working, now that my life has been ruined. The social security checks are coming, small as they are and not enough to live on, but they at least provide food and a roof. You are younger, you'll be able to turn your life around. I wish you all the luck in the world getting it done.

Oh that is alot of medication to come off and sorry to hear about you losing your jobs. We need a no side effects cure for crying spells. 

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"Oh that is alot of medication to come off and sorry to hear about you losing your jobs. We need a no side effects cure for crying spells."

 

Laughter, music(+/- as it CAN lead to tears as well as peaceful feelings), and exercise(anything goes).  The cure.  :unsure:   Love and understanding as well.  Self hugs.  Naps and baths.  Maybe aromatherapy too.

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Perhaps the above would be a fitting interim ending post in your thread, Lilu? Notice I said 'interim'. Puts it out there that your situation might change some time in the future.

 

Not everyone is ok with getting off antidepressants, this we all know. But as this is a site for peer support getting off them, your post would be eminently more useful in your thread. It is an excellent summation of your experience and should be kept with your story. I for one think it is valuable for people to see, not lost here in a thread about uncontrollable crying spells, because it is far deeper than that. You relate it to the quality of your life in a compelling way....

Thanks, Cym, I'll copy and paste what I wrote into my own thread.

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Lilu, im noticing we have similar tendencies; 1. having mellancolla from a young age  2. falling apart at the thought of or when someone leaves me.  3.  the crying spells, i can relate; I used to howl so much, that all the neighbours in the block of flats i lived in could hear me.

 

All unpleasant and I really wish i was not like this because it is really really difficult to live being this way.  However, there is hope always. 

I noticed you were taking a number of medications, that sure does complicate things but hats off for trying everything.  

 

 Yes... but I never cried so much and for so long as when I went off of antidepressants.  Not crying at all now is a welcome relief. 

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Quote:

 

"Thanks, Cym, I'll copy and paste what I wrote into my own thread."

 

Good job, I saw it. You know there are researchers and docs who visit the site, right? It is for them too.

 

I went through some pretty bad crying in wd but there was a subtle difference in it I cannot explain. I remember one day it was so bad, couldn't stop, that I just leaned forward and blinked my eyes and the tears just kept squirting out. That was so weird. But it gradually went away and I haven't felt that bad since. Have cried a few times but it was over soon.

 

Good luck sweetie and take care of yourself, ok? Keep in touch, don't think you can't. We still want to know how you are getting on.

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There are so many types of crying in wd crying could have subtitles... 

 

crying in rage 

crying like my eyes are leaking and I feel nothing

crying is sadness

crying in regret

crying is despair..

crying in anger

crying in relief 

crying cause I finally can.... 

 

Crying is for sure a big part of wd in many different ways... I read about tears at one point long ago and learned there is a chemical reason for it... 

 

http://www.sciencealert.com/watch-why-do-we-cry-the-chemistry-of-three-types-of-tears

 

pain killers in tears calm us down... that is a good thing...

 

Emotional tears kick in during times where you feel a loss of control, and scientists think that, along with other physical reactions such as an increased heart rate and slower breathing, our stress hormone- and endorphin-laden tears are there to quickly stabilise your mood, and perhaps act as a very obvious signal to those around us that we may be in need of some cuddles.

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http://www.lifebuzz.com/tears/

 The tears that come about from hard laughter aren’t even close to the tears of sorrow. Like a drop of ocean water each tiny tear drop carries a microcosm of human experience. Her project is called The Topography of Tears.

 

Emotional tears have protein-based hormones including the neurotransmitter leucine enkephalin, which is a natural painkiller that is released when we are stressed. Plus, the tears seen under the microscope are crystallized salt and can lead to different shapes and forms. So even psychic tears with the same chemical composition can look very different. Fisher said, “There are so many variables—there’s the chemistry, the viscosity, the setting, the evaporation rate and the settings of the microscope.”

 

Like snow flakes and fingerprints, no tears are alike. I can't believe the difference between all of these. If you found this post interesting, share it with others.

Source: Rose-Lynn Fisher

 

Some times we have to trust that our bodies know what they are doing often better then we do and it is healing the best way it knows how with whatever tools it has.  

 

I wish you peace

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