☼ joy2730: withdrawing from citalopram, quetiapine

[joy2730]

Hi everyone

 

I continue to do well on 17.75mg.  If in two weeks time I still feel this well I am going to have a go at reducing to 17.5 mg.  The only odd symptom I have had today is a runny nose this morning and a very slight feeling of hotness this afternoon for about 10 seconds.  My appetite has 'normalised' and I no longer feel desperately hungry all the time, which is such a relief.

 

I have fought off the temptation to make a cut earlier.

 

My mood continues to be good, if not very good, I have been a little irritated these last few days because I have mislaid my reading glasses back home somewhere.  This is the reason I started with contact lenses.  So I am currently looking through a pair of readers that are an out of date prescription and are bent and wonky, and this has irritated me more than usual.  Perhaps I am just starting to want things orderly again, just like tidying my house.  I have been disorganised for too long in my life. 

 

So the only thing wrong in my world at present is missing reading glasses, which isn't bad!

 

Joy

[Flowers]

Hi Joy

 

So glad things are still going well for you.  You seem to be stable enough to do another drop so good luck.

 

I think it is reasonable that you would be irritated about the glasses! Anyone not going through WD and tapering would feel the same.

 

Hope your proper glasses turn up soon. Maybe you put them away somewhere when you were tidying your house! I do this all the time when I am having a big tidy up, then I can't remember where I have put things!

 

Love from Flowers xxx

[joy2730]

Exactly Flowers, yes I feel well and stable.  Interestingly when I was doing our farm account, VAT, over this weekend, I found the figures added up a lot better and I was able to do it much quickly and easily.  That might be because of slightly less citalopram in my brain?  Mind you when I had some bad withdrawal symptoms last summer I made a really big VAT error and had to wait 3 months to correct it.  So it works both ways, and it might be that although I think my brain is sharper for less citalopram, it might be entirely 'in my mind'.

 

Interestingly I am sleeping better than ever.  I have decided that good quality sleep is like your brain taking a holiday at the end of each day.

So in 2 weeks time, all being well, I am going to make another little drop.

 

Good news as well, today I weighed 1/2 lb less, so now weigh 13 stone 8 1/2 lbs, a record low for me.  This is a relief to me because I used to think I suffered from paradoxical weight gain.

 

My brother phoned this morning, a highly unusual event as I have been really estranged from hi and my mother (they live together) since some of my more severe depressions, and apparently my mother although physically very well is psychologically in a bad place.  I am going over to see her on Tuesday, about 45 mins away.  She hurt me very much over the years and told me about 8 years ago she had not left me anything in her will, which is when I decided I needed to return to some sort of work.  She once said to me 'You will never be able to look after me when I am old, you can't even look after yourself' and I have never forgotten those cruel comments.  Strange that I have ended up caring for other people, but I suppose at the time I couldn't look after myself.  I am going to have to be careful with that situation as I don't want her or my brother to drag me back down.

 

It might be better if she and my brother moved closer and she had carers in, but I have worked so hard to build up my embryonic business and try for this new independence of mine.  I am starting to get all my information together for my first ever year end of my care business, which will be interesting to see how it has gone on paper.  I know I will have to pay quite a lot of tax, but hopefully our accountant will be able to help with that.  In a way I am quite proud of myself, as I spent my years being too ill to work and on state benefits for sickness.

 

I have virtually no withdrawal symptoms at present, I had the odd brain zap, but very mild, when I had a bath last night, and that is all. 

 

Sorry to unburden myself to you Flowers and everyone on line, but it helps me to clarify my thinking.

 

Take care everyone and thank you to this site and you all, without the knowledge from here I would never have got down to 17.75 mg.  Knowledge is power.

 

Joy

 

 

[Flowers]

Well there are a lot of positives going on right now for you. It seems like you are coming out of a mist and seeing everything so clearly after a long time?

 

It is sad that your mother made that cruel remark to you when you were so ill. But she is still your mum and maybe your visit will turn out to clear the air a bit and get back on an even footing with her and your brother. Just be careful to avoid any confrontations with them which won't do you any good. Put yourself first and preserve how well you have done with your business and tapering etc.

 

Love from Flowers xxx

 

 

[joy2730]

Thanks Flowers for your advice.  She is still my mother - you are right.  My mother has an informal carer, Pam, and I rang her for the first time ever last night.  It seems my mother's hearing has got much worse and she has macular eye disease and now cataracts, but appears to her to be very anxious.  A mental health team has become involved as my mother and brother keep turning up at A&E and the GP and there is nothing physically wrong with my mother.  Apparently there is a doctor at my mother's surgery who has a lot of patience and time for my mother, I may end up going to see him with my mother to discuss medication for anxiety.  Pam seems to think my mother's anxiety is extremely bad.  My heart goes out to my mother if that is the case because, as everyone on SA will testify, anxiety is horrible, an it must be even worse when you are elderly.  My mother is 89 now, and if I can help with arranging anything for her I will.

 

My tapering continues to go well.  I have ordered new readers today, but won't be able to pick them up til next Monday, I will just have to wait and see if the others turn up.  I haven't the time or energy to turn my house upside down today.  I have done my legs, bums and tums and spinning classes today, but didn't push myself so hard this week.

 

I slept really well last night again, that is a blessing.

 

Thank you so much Flowers for taking an interest in my wider life.  Many years of ill health mentally have certainly caused a lot of personal relationship problems for me. 

 

I really want to see my mother and brother tomorrow.

 

Joy

[Frogie]

Hi Joy:

 

You should go see your mom and brother. Maybe in line of business you are in you could help her. 

 

You did really well exercising today. I just can't get in the mood to do any, maybe I will soon.

 

You ordered new glasses. You will walk by something look down and there will be your other glasses. That's what always happens to me.

 

I have been taking pain meds for me teeth, and when I get up in the morning, I just want to go back to sleep. So I snuggle with my 16 year old chihuahua and we go back to sleep for a couple of hours. But now I need to get up and do something.

 

I hope you are doing well. Hello Flowers.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[joy2730]

Hi Frogie

 

I went to see my mother and brother and my mother clearly is psychologically unhappy, so we are going to see if we can get some informal care arranged for her before using a care agency.  However, I don't think she seems that happy living with my brother anymore.  I thinks she wants to move nearer to me but my brother doesn't.  Wow families can be so difficult.

 

I will do everything I can to help, even though things have been difficult over the years.  I think she would love it in a care home, but my brother doesn't want his inheritance taken by care home fees. 

 

It did upset me a bit as I feel something is going wrong for my mother.  A nurse from the mental health team was there when I arrived.  My mother is physically very well but coming up with all these physical symptoms which are anxiety really.  The mental health nurse said my mother needed more company during the day, and we had to try that before meds.  At least their approach is correct.

 

I didn't sleep very well at all the night before going to my mother's but slept OK last night.  My withdrawal can stand this. 

 

I often wonder if all my personal relationships would have been better if I hadn't taken so many meds over the years, but it is too late to think that really.  The present is all I have got. 

 

Deep down I am pretty sick of my husband and family at the moment, but that might be withdrawal and it might pass.

 

No withdrawal symptoms.  Went sauna and swimming this morning and going spinning in the morning.

 

Take care everyone, seems like I am feeling the social effects of years of psychiatric ill health and multiple drug use.

 

Joy

[Flowers]

Hi Joy

 

Well done for handling the meet up so well.

 

You know much more about care than I do but I can understand if your mum was getting a bit lonely. I know she has your brother but it is always nice to have company of folk your own age that you can chat about old times with.  My husband's mother was the same and loved it when she went into a care home because she had lots of company!

 

Please try not to blame things that have happened over the years on yourself and state of health. You cannot help that you were ill and also people who are fine don't always cope with relationships very well either.  It is the way of the world and we always look back and think 'if only'. Hindsight is a great thing!

 

Hope things improve with your husband and family - you don't need anymore stress!

 

I have been pool swimming too and although the water temp is 32 it is still refreshing and am enjoying a serious swim. I am always looking for jellyfish in the sea!

 

Lots of love

 

Flowers xxx

 

 

[Frogie]

Hi Joy:

 

Just got home from the dentist. I'm going to relax for a little while, but will write you back soon.

 

Thanks for checking on me. You have no idea how much that means to me.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[joy2730]

Hi Flowers, thanks for your support over my family.  Things seem to be a little difficult with everyone right now.  I do think my mother would love a care home, but then her house/savings would be spent on care home fees, which I am not bothered about now but my brother is concerned that 'there will be nothing left'.  I don't think for a minute that my mother will have planned for this situation in advance by 'turning the house' over to my brother.  My brother is now saying that my mother has left everything half to him/half to me now but I really don't know.

 

I am going to have to look into her financial situation as well, so the truth will come out.  I don't want any money left for me, I have been used to the idea of being 'cut out' of her will for many years now, but my brother seems to want to have some money left to inherit.  He is saying he may give up work to look after her full-time. 

 

I could be repeating myself on some of these details.  I have only been a carer for 5 years now, but have done a lot of work in that time, and have all the higher qualifications so am going to look into things very carefully.  It is so different trying to think about care when it is your own family though!

 

I am taking baby Esme to my mother's next Tuesday for the day, as my daughter is at girl guides camp and takes Esme with her as she is still being breast fed.  It will be great to take my granddaughter to see my mother and I will see how my mother is then.

 

Loneliness is one of the scourges of modern life and leads to lots of ill health, both mentally and physically.  As humans we are a social species and need some contact with others, even if only by the internet!

 

The good news is that none of this has affected my withdrawal.  The only down side to my withdrawal is that as I have lost a little weight now my body looks 'baggy' even though I am working out!  So that is making me look scruffy, before being really overweight made me look scruffy and now being 'baggy' is making me look scruffy.  But I am in a good place with the citalopram, especially given what I am dealing with.  I still plan to drop a little more the weekend after this one.  I have been spinning this morning before my live-in work.

 

Are you quite settled at the moment Flowers, how is your shaking and is the citalopram working properly now?  Obviously you don't have to answer any of that.  I have looked at your signature and it seems that you are now off ven completely now and are only taking 20 mg citalopram now and very little Xanax - so that is good.  The ven should be clearly out of your system completely now, April when you stopped it?  Isn't that good Flowers, well done!

 

I know I mustn't blame everything on being so ill over the years, and that relationships are intrinsically difficult.  Seeing my mother more brings it all back to me.  I was so 'bed fast' with depression once when I lived with my mother I got pressure sores on my hips (I was very thin then) and only about 20 years old.  Now I look after other people's pressure sores.  It feels like everything is coming full circle.  But my mum needs me now to help arrange care so that her life can be better, and she needs me to visit more now, so I am going to have to resolve these issues.

 

Thanks to the site for letting me rambling.

 

To Frogie

 

Really hope you are doing well with the teeth situation.  With the sheep on our farm we call lady sheep without a full mouth of teeth 'broken mouthed'.  It may take a while to get used to your partial, but it is far better than toothache and having a gap.  And you will be getting rid of the pain, as pain will wear you down inevitably and all pain killers are a drain on your body.  Going back to the sheep situation, iif a sheep is very elderly and is having trouble eating, all their teeth are removed and the gums seem to hardened.  The sheep's health really picks up once all the rotten teeth are removed even though they have no teeth left then.

 

Take care Frogie, let us know how you are getting on with your partial/pain etc.

 

Do you have to pay dental fees where you live Frogie and do you have to travel to your dentist?

 

Joy

[Frogie]

2 hours ago, joy2730 said:

Hi Flowers, thanks for your support over my family.  Things seem to be a little difficult with everyone right now.  I do think my mother would love a care home, but then her house/savings would be spent on care home fees, which I am not bothered about now but my brother is concerned that 'there will be nothing left'.  I don't think for a minute that my mother will have planned for this situation in advance by 'turning the house' over to my brother.  My brother is now saying that my mother has left everything half to him/half to me now but I really don't know.

 

I am going to have to look into her financial situation as well, so the truth will come out.  I don't want any money left for me, I have been used to the idea of being 'cut out' of her will for many years now, but my brother seems to want to have some money left to inherit.  He is saying he may give up work to look after her full-time. 

 

I could be repeating myself on some of these details.  I have only been a carer for 5 years now, but have done a lot of work in that time, and have all the higher qualifications so am going to look into things very carefully.  It is so different trying to think about care when it is your own family though!

 

I am taking baby Esme to my mother's next Tuesday for the day, as my daughter is at girl guides camp and takes Esme with her as she is still being breast fed.  It will be great to take my granddaughter to see my mother and I will see how my mother is then.

 

Loneliness is one of the scourges of modern life and leads to lots of ill health, both mentally and physically.  As humans we are a social species and need some contact with others, even if only by the internet!

 

The good news is that none of this has affected my withdrawal.  The only down side to my withdrawal is that as I have lost a little weight now my body looks 'baggy' even though I am working out!  So that is making me look scruffy, before being really overweight made me look scruffy and now being 'baggy' is making me look scruffy.  But I am in a good place with the citalopram, especially given what I am dealing with.  I still plan to drop a little more the weekend after this one.  I have been spinning this morning before my live-in work.

 

Are you quite settled at the moment Flowers, how is your shaking and is the citalopram working properly now?  Obviously you don't have to answer any of that.  I have looked at your signature and it seems that you are now off ven completely now and are only taking 20 mg citalopram now and very little Xanax - so that is good.  The ven should be clearly out of your system completely now, April when you stopped it?  Isn't that good Flowers, well done!

 

I know I mustn't blame everything on being so ill over the years, and that relationships are intrinsically difficult.  Seeing my mother more brings it all back to me.  I was so 'bed fast' with depression once when I lived with my mother I got pressure sores on my hips (I was very thin then) and only about 20 years old.  Now I look after other people's pressure sores.  It feels like everything is coming full circle.  But my mum needs me now to help arrange care so that her life can be better, and she needs me to visit more now, so I am going to have to resolve these issues.

 

Thanks to the site for letting me rambling.

 

To Frogie

 

Really hope you are doing well with the teeth situation.  With the sheep on our farm we call lady sheep without a full mouth of teeth 'broken mouthed'.  It may take a while to get used to your partial, but it is far better than toothache and having a gap.  And you will be getting rid of the pain, as pain will wear you down inevitably and all pain killers are a drain on your body.  Going back to the sheep situation, iif a sheep is very elderly and is having trouble eating, all their teeth are removed and the gums seem to hardened.  The sheep's health really picks up once all the rotten teeth are removed even though they have no teeth left then.

 

Take care Frogie, let us know how you are getting on with your partial/pain etc.

 

Do you have to pay dental fees where you live Frogie and do you have to travel to your dentist?

 

Joy

Hi Joy:

 

I'm sorry about not writing you last night. I was just worn out.

 

She had to pull another tooth yesterday. It was cracked and abscess on the tip of the root.

 

Now, today I get my partial. I'll be so glad not to have a hole in my mouth. 

 

I'm just exhausted mentally and physically. It's about 350 miles round trip and yes I have to pay for my dental. The US takes you for everything lol... At least I can go to my granddaughters birthday party this weekend.

 

Guess I better get ready to go again. I'm glad this is my last trip.

 

Hope you are doing well. It's nice you get to take Esme to see your mom. She will enjoy that.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

 

 

[joy2730]

Hi Frogie

 

All that pain and expense, not good news.  The UK seems a bit more user friendly for health, dental and optical care, and for people on low incomes they soon fall into the 'free' category.  How much longer the UK can afford to be so generous I have no idea.

 

Do you pay into some sort of insurance policy for healthcare in USA.  I have heard of Obamah care and that is about it!  I would be very interested to know how it all works in USA, especially for those on local incomes/no incomes?

 

Joy

[Frogie]

Hi Joy:

 

Because I'm on disability, I get what they call Medicare. It's kinda like a federal insurance policy. They charge I think 104 a month for it. It doesn't pay everything, but what it does pay, it pays 80%. Then I have another insurance policy called medigap that picks up what Medicare doesn't pay, to some degree. If I have to have say an ultrasound, it costs me about $500 instead of $2,000. So I still have out of pocket expenses. My medicine costs $3.30 per prescription, which is cheap. If I have to go to the emergency room it costs me $75.00. I have no dental or vision insurance. You can buy that too, but dental only pays $1,000 a year and I've already spent more than that without another premium. You can buy vision insurance, but there are places that do eye checks for around $39 and glasses less than $100, so it's cheaper for me to do that than pay around $50 a month to have the vision insurance. I think the dental insurance on my health policy is around $500 year, so it doesn't make sense to pay the $500 a year than just pay out of pocket. Obama care is a joke in my mind. But that's my opinion. Some people think it's great. Hope I answered your questions.

 

Got my partial today. Not used to having straight teeth on the bottom. My 2 front teeth were always crooked, and now they are straight, so it will take some getting used too.

 

Hope you are doing well.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[joy2730]

Hi Frogie

thanks for explaining how your health care works, we are definitely better off in the UK.  We never  have to pay for hospital care or GP care unless we choose to go privately to cut down on waiting times.  If you pay to go privately it is just the same doctors as the NHS (National Health Service).  Prescriptions for medication here are roughly £8 per item, but so many people don't have to pay anything due to age, various conditions or low income.

 

I was on incapacity benefit for years and while I was on it I got all my medication free, including dental check ups and even eye examinations and a free pair of glasses every two years (I think it was 2 years).  Obviously now I am much better with my health and working I pay for these things now, but when I am 60 (a year in December) my medication will be free again, I don't know about dental/optical things though.

 

In a way when I was on incapacity benefit and feeling well it was good really because I had a lot more time and time is really important.  It was just that I had become so much better and was wanting to work more so I began to feel a little fraudulent and of course the benefit was very low in cash terms.  My GP said I would probably relapse in the future, so we have decided to wait and see and at that point I would go back on benefits again.  I have no way of knowing if that will happen, no one can know that, so it is just a case of seeing how things go.  I got about £100 per week on sickness benefit and to be honest I earn a lot more than that presently and am enjoying my work.

 

This is all totally unexpected for me,  I thought I was facing a total lifetime of disability and benefits.  My diagnosis is bipolar, it used to be called manic depression when I was first ill.  Apparently people can have long spells of being well with it, even decades, and then get ill again.  Sometimes when I am very busy and juggling a lot I do wonder if it is the mania returning very slightly, but again I have no way of knowing.

 

I do not get my state retirement (old age pension) until I am 67 as the laws were changed in UK recently.  I will be surprised if I get a full pension at that point as I had a very patchy work record before going onto benefits, so I will have lots of gaps in my national insurance contributions.  The longer I can work now the more my old age pension will be 'beefed' up.  I don't regret claiming the benefits as I really couldn't work, but am unsure now as to how much was medication side effects and how much was illness.  There will never be an answer to that question.  I suspect I didn't have bipolar at all but had suffered a lot of abuse in my childhood and with my first husband that I think turned into very serious depression which was then medicated, and over medicated, but it did all keep me alive.  I think with time I slowly recovered naturally from a bad earlier life.

 

I am still doing well on my 17.75 mg citalopram, I slept really well last night and my appetite is feeling 'normal' and controllable.

 

Sometimes I can't believe the changes I have undergone these last 9 years, I think my second husband was so used to me being ill and housebound that he finds it hard to understand how I have changed.  But changed I have, I feel completely different from how I used to and when I have talked to my second husband he says he is pleased for me, but it is a big change for both of us.

 

The death of my first husband to suicide last Aug 23 brought me, after a mini bereavement, a great sense of relief and freedom.  Some of the bad things between us seem to have died with him, although I still remember them I know he can no longer remember them and that has brought me a kind of peace.  It is like the memories are half dead now, their intensity has lessened and I feel free to move on.

 

My GP really doesn't think I will get below 10 mg citalopram, but I can live with that if I have to.

 

I still haven't found my reading glasses and I lost yet another contact lens last night, so will have to wait for some more of those being delivered.  I am still a bit disorganised in life and chaotic but as I take fewer drugs I notice I get some control back and some organisation back, but basically I have lived my life in chaos and that I attribute to being heavily medicated for decades.  It is like I am having to learn how to live all over again.

 

I have written too much Frogie, but it helps me to write.

 

Let me know how your partial is doing, it must be great to have straight teeth again, it will make you look smart and tidier?? 

 

I had a conversation with my brother last night and it turns out my mother has a lot more in savings than I ever knew, so we are now looking at all of those issues now.  I am ringing him tonight to see how he has got on arranging an informal carer for my mother, I am going over next Tuesday with Esme.  It will be good to try to work with my brother to try to sort things out for my mother.  I do find it hard to even physically ring my brother, but sometimes these things have to be worked through.

 

Hope you are OK Flowers

 

Joy

 

 

[joy2730]

https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwi4-e2SnuHVAhUMKMAKHWP4AVEQFggoMAA&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov%2Fpmc%2Farticles%2FPMC3299179%2F&usg=AFQjCNGTJEObEnWXC4Qs-ZkerYdkCNm-oA

 

I have found this about how our genes can influence drug metabolisation, and thought of you Flowers, but I am not that good at making links on computers, so I will just have to see if it has worked.

 

Joy

[joy2730]

Hi all

 

I am still very well. I have been looking at dosages today and have made a mistake.  I have actually been taking 17.5 mg for these few weeks and have now gone down to 17 mg today.  The trouble is I am measuring out 1 ml of water to 2 mg citalopram and have been treating things thinking I was measuring out 1 mg citalopram.  So I am further on than I thought.

 

To make the measuring easier I have taken 17 mg citalopram this morning.  I do wish smaller dose pills were available, with them being scored into quarters.  I didn't think I could work out 17.25 mg accurately and the dose would fluctuate too much.

 

From this drop I expect to experience a mild headache, nausea, some brain zaps, burning skin in the lower arms, some sweating and a few nightmares and possibly some disturbed sleep.

 

Good news with my weight, for the first time in decades I weighed 13 stone 7 llbs, a year ago I weighed 14 stone 10 llbs.  So I feel as if I am making some progress now.

 

Take care everyone, and keep double checking your maths because it is so easy to make a mistake. 

 

I will update my signature.

 

Joy

 

 

Quote

 

 

[Frogie]

On August 17, 2017 at 4:48 PM, Frogie said:

Hi Joy:

 

Because I'm on disability, I get what they call Medicare. It's kinda like a federal insurance policy. They charge I think 104 a month for it. It doesn't pay everything, but what it does pay, it pays 80%. Then I have another insurance policy called medigap that picks up what Medicare doesn't pay, to some degree. If I have to have say an ultrasound, it costs me about $500 instead of $2,000. So I still have out of pocket expenses. My medicine costs $3.30 per prescription, which is cheap. If I have to go to the emergency room it costs me $75.00. I have no dental or vision insurance. You can buy that too, but dental only pays $1,000 a year and I've already spent more than that without another premium. You can buy vision insurance, but there are places that do eye checks for around $39 and glasses less than $100, so it's cheaper for me to do that than pay around $50 a month to have the vision insurance. I think the dental insurance on my health policy is around $500 year, so it doesn't make sense to pay the $500 a year than just pay out of pocket. Obama care is a joke in my mind. But that's my opinion. Some people think it's great. Hope I answered your questions.

 

Got my partial today. Not used to having straight teeth on the bottom. My 2 front teeth were always crooked, and now they are straight, so it will take some getting used too.

 

Hope you are doing well.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

Hi Joy:

 

I wrote on my thread if you want to stop by and read it.

 

I just didn't want you to think I was ignoring you, I'm not at all.

 

Hope you have a super weekend.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[joy2730]

Hi Frogie, yes I have read it and replied.  Sorry you are continuing to have dental trouble, and a virus, yuk.

 

I am doing well but since dropping my dose yesterday I am really hungry for carbohydrates!  I remember reading somewhere that dropping dose causing unstable blood sugar which can result in carb cravings.  Well that is me right now!

 

I am sometimes having a bit of dizziness when I turn my head, but my mood is fine.

 

So 17 mg citalopram is OK so far.

 

Joy

[joy2730]

I am well on 17 mg so far.  I need to review how I measure out though, otherwise I won't be able to do accurate low reductions.  I am OK with measuring 17 mg but to get to say 16.5 or 16.9 would not be accurate how I do it now, so I need to rethink.  I need to start using my 1 ml syringe in conjunction with my 5 ml syringe for greater accuracy. 

 

It would be better if tapering kits were available.

 

Did legs, bums and tums this morning followed by spinning.  I was very bored but my flexibility is increasing so I am just going to have to suffer the boredom.  It doesn't impact on my weight but it helps in other ways.

 

Weight wise I gained 3 lbs between Saturday morning and Sunday morning which I put down partly to the carb craving on Saturday which I blame on withdrawal, also the constipation I blame on withdrawal.  This must be what I have previously referred to as paradoxical weight gain, I think it is actually me eating more carbs and sugar when I drop a dose until my body gets used to the new dose.  That would explain the weight gain that seems to happen to me at every reduction.  The solution of course lies in the knowledge that this is happening to me, prepare for it and avoid it.  This is quite a revelation to me, but it makes total sense.

 

So I need to be careful about food intake not only in general, but specifically after a drop in dosage.  Wow, the citalopram really does affect my body a lot.

 

I also read something randomly somewhere that sitting waiting TV uses fewer calories than sitting doing nothing with the TV off because the TV actually reduces metabolism.  So if the TV can affect metabolism I am sure citalopram can!

 

I will post again in the morning, having taken more care of my syringing.  I easily get distracted with the syringing.

 

The only changes I have noticed so far is slightly less brain fog, a little more energy and feeling hot this morning.

 

How are you doing Frogie with your partial, what a to-do, at least you have done well with the citalopram!

 

Joy

[Flowers]

It's nice to read you are doing fine.

 

Using a syringe is a pain isn't it? But what choice is there? I get a bit confused sometimes with it all and have to ask my husband to check what I am doing especially if my hands are shaking!!

 

Love from Flowers xxx

[nz11]

Good to hear you are doing okay joy 

What do you think about doing the wdl survey ...be great if you could

[Flowers]

On 18/08/2017 at 6:52 PM, joy2730 said:

https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwi4-e2SnuHVAhUMKMAKHWP4AVEQFggoMAA&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov%2Fpmc%2Farticles%2FPMC3299179%2F&usg=AFQjCNGTJEObEnWXC4Qs-ZkerYdkCNm-oA

 

I have found this about how our genes can influence drug metabolisation, and thought of you Flowers, but I am not that good at making links on computers, so I will just have to see if it has worked.

 

Joy

Meant to say thanks for the info Joy. The link worked!  Interesting reading. Will get to the clinic as soon as it quietens down here.

 

Flowers xxx

[joy2730]

That's OK Flowers, I am going to read it myself now!  Hope you are well.  I am quite excited that you are going to have this test!

 

I am doing well on 17.5 mg citalopram, mood is good and I feel slimmer and my appetite feels more normal.

 

Take care

 

Joy

[Frogie]

Hi Joy:

 

I'm glad you are doing so well.

 

I'm starting to feel a little better, but have the feeling that it's not going to last. I have to drive to the dentist Monday, then one more trip, so then hopefully I'll feel better.

 

Hello Flowers!

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

 

[joy2730]

Hi everyone

 

I continue to do well, had one of those awful dreams last night but can't remember the details, just as well, but slept really well.

 

I am not really into health foods, supplements etc, but someone at my leisure centre has recommended Spirulina to me, it contains B12, protein and magnesium.  I have been taking a teaspoon for 3 days now in a veg/fruit smoothie and find I am feeling really well.  It is very concentrated and I think I am actually going to cut it down to 1/2 teaspoon as it seems very powerful.  The magnesium may help with withdrawal, I took magnesium tablets a long time ago but only for a short while.  I have had a few odd aches and pains recently, nothing of any consequence, which I put down to the withdrawal, and they have eased since I started the Spirulina.  Weird

 

Hope everyone is doing the best they can.

 

A sub note.  I feel my personality is changing slightly now, I can't quite put my finger on it though, it is hard to explain.  I guess SSRI's can alter personality?  I don't know?

 

Joy

 

[Flowers]

Hi Joy

 

Was very interested in the Spirulina. I had never heard of it as am not very familiar with supplements so googled it. I was amazed to read it is pond water. It will be interesting to see how you get on with it. Keep us informed.

 

I think as you become less 'drugged' you start to find yourself again so personality change must be considered.

 

More energy, interest in life, confidence maybe.

 

It is great to read you are experiencing these things.

 

Flowers xxx

[joy2730]

Thanks Flowers.  I have yet to read more about Spirulina, I might do that today.  I do feel much better for taking it, it says 5 mg a day, I am not sure how much that is, in the shop, Holland and Barratt, they said it was a teaspoon a day but it is very strong so I am only doing half a teaspoon, on that basis it is not very expensive either.

 

They said in the shop it stabilises blood sugar levels, something I have felt goes haywire for me in withdrawal and life in general, but I do believe it does.  EG  last night before going to sleep I felt hungry, normally I would give in to that and get a carb snack which would inevitably be large but I talked myself into not having anything.    That is so good.

 

Yes Flowers, I feel I am changing in myself.  I feel I am becoming kinder to those nearest to me, especially my husband and feeling more love towards him and respect for him.  He has put up with a lot from me over the years and at times I know I have been a poor mother and wife, but I have also helped him in other ways.  He must have found it a real strain over the years.  I hope as we age together I can be of more use to him.  He is having his left hip replaced on Thursday, he had the right one done last year and he really needs this doing as he lives on Tramadol and Gabapentin and the Tramadol reduces his appetite and he is skinny and the Gabapentin makes him a bit confused.  he will be able to get off those eventually.  I always feel a bit rotten doing my live in work but he says he is fine with it, but he knows this will be my last live in job and then I will work in such a way that I can be at home on a night.

 

He has suffered in a way because I have become healthier and gone out to work, but he does enjoy the extra income.  However, I find myself thinking more about him now.  He really has been there for me over the years and supported me completely.  I am starting to realise that now.  It is good to realise these things. 

 

Don't think I will get very low with citalopram at all, 10 mg is my goal.  But at least I know my limitations and I have discussed this with my husband and for the next few years he doesn't want withdrawal issues to interfere with my work just in case it does turn into a good little business.  Isn't life complicated.

 

Sorry for your loss Frogie, it is always difficult to loose people,  but harder when it is just a bit before their time.  We need to make the most of everyday.

 

Joy

[Frogie]

Thank Joy:

 

She was a very special person. Always happy and full of life. It's such a shame as she was only 47. She fought hard. 

 

She is going to be missed.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[joy2730]

Frogie, did your friend enjoy her life even though it was too short, if so, you can get some comfort from that.  If she hadn't enjoyed it that is harder.  If I had passed away at 47 I would have missed my opportunity to ditch the majority of my meds and that would have been a shame.  Dying at 47 is really young for these days.  How is your little dog doing?  Pets are so important and they don't hurt you like people can.

 

Quick update from me - still doing well at 17 mg and feeling really well.  I have to fight the urge to reduce further, but fight it I will because I now know going slowly is my only option.  I have no withdrawal symptoms and feel really positive.  I have been spinning/swimming/sauna a lot this week and think it helps, especially the spinning and sauna.  I also did a session of HIIT, high intensity interval training, but got dizzy and a bit of a 'vacant' feeling in that so had to slow down.  My appetite is more controllable still and my figure is looking and feeling better.

 

I am getting on well with the Spirulina, it seems to suit me, but I am now taking as much as it says as the dosage because it seems so strong, and when withdrawing from citalopram I don't feel a full dose is appropriate somehow - just my instinct.  There is magnesium in it so that is good and maybe helping me as I don't have any withdrawal symptoms.

 

The B12 in it does seem to be giving me energy and the protein is giving me a full feeling.  I have finished my last tub of Slimfast which I don't think I will ever buy again as I seem to have moved on from that type of product.

 

My husband's hip operation was cancelled at the last moment, I thought it was going to be as I visited someone on the ward he was going to and they were short of a night nurse so all the beds were being moved to a lower floor on a night time so that nurse cover could be obtained.  He is now on stand by for next Thursday at a different hospital. I think it is true that the NHS in England is struggling with all sorts of staffing/funding issues.  So my husband and I had 2 days together this week unexpectedly when we thought he would be in hospital, and it was really nice to spend time together as we had cancelled all our other commitments.

 

Hope everyone is as well as they can be, given that we all are all on this board for a reason.

 

Joy

[Frogie]

 

 

Hi Joy:

 

Yes my friend enjoyed her life very much. It was just a shame. I'm sorry but I just can't talk about it right now, going through a rough time with it.

 

My baby, Brownie, she's 16, I took her to a vet she's never been to. That vet didn't know her health like her vet. But I did the best I could without going 2 1/2 hours. I talked to my vet this morning, and she is concerned about the numbers, but said its not time to put her down. She called in a prescription for her and for me to get her to drink and eat as much as I can. This morning she actually ate one of her treats. She hasn't done that for about 4 days. I'm not getting my hopes up by any means, but at least her vet is not saying she's dying today.

 

I'm glad you are doing better. What is Spirulina? I've never heard of it. I tried Slimfast, it did nothing for me.

 

Sorry to hear your husbands surgery was put off. Hopefully it will be successful and he will be able to farm soon.

 

My stomach is so upset right now it isn't funny. But it's nerves.

 

Hi Flowers, hope you are doing well.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

 

 

 

 

[joy2730]

Frogie  I do understand about Brownie.  I had a cat called Pippa who I grieved over a great deal even before I had to have him put to sleep.  

 

I drove around with his poor body in a cardboard box for the rest of the day in my car after I had him put to sleep.  I went into the bank crying my etes out and the cashier asked me what was wrong.  I told her and said I would rather have my husband or son put down rathere than Pippa.

 

Take care Frogie.

[Flowers]

9 hours ago, joy2730 said:

Frogie, did your friend enjoy her life even though it was too short, if so, you can get some comfort from that.  If she hadn't enjoyed it that is harder.  If I had passed away at 47 I would have missed my opportunity to ditch the majority of my meds and that would have been a shame.  Dying at 47 is really young for these days.  How is your little dog doing?  Pets are so important and they don't hurt you like people can.

 

Quick update from me - still doing well at 17 mg and feeling really well.  I have to fight the urge to reduce further, but fight it I will because I now know going slowly is my only option.  I have no withdrawal symptoms and feel really positive.  I have been spinning/swimming/sauna a lot this week and think it helps, especially the spinning and sauna.  I also did a session of HIIT, high intensity interval training, but got dizzy and a bit of a 'vacant' feeling in that so had to slow down.  My appetite is more controllable still and my figure is looking and feeling better.

 

I am getting on well with the Spirulina, it seems to suit me, but I am now taking as much as it says as the dosage because it seems so strong, and when withdrawing from citalopram I don't feel a full dose is appropriate somehow - just my instinct.  There is magnesium in it so that is good and maybe helping me as I don't have any withdrawal symptoms.

 

The B12 in it does seem to be giving me energy and the protein is giving me a full feeling.  I have finished my last tub of Slimfast which I don't think I will ever buy again as I seem to have moved on from that type of product.

 

My husband's hip operation was cancelled at the last moment, I thought it was going to be as I visited someone on the ward he was going to and they were short of a night nurse so all the beds were being moved to a lower floor on a night time so that nurse cover could be obtained.  He is now on stand by for next Thursday at a different hospital. I think it is true that the NHS in England is struggling with all sorts of staffing/funding issues.  So my husband and I had 2 days together this week unexpectedly when we thought he would be in hospital, and it was really nice to spend time together as we had cancelled all our other commitments.

 

Hope everyone is as well as they can be, given that we all are all on this board for a reason.

 

Joy

Hi

 

So sorry your husband's op was cancelled. Awful when you get yourself geared up for something. At least you got to spend a couple of great days together. Hope all goes to plan next Thursday.

 

Glad the Spirulina is still giving you benefits and that you are feeling well.

 

Love from Flowers xxx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[joy2730]

Thanks Flowers, yes I like the Spirulina so far and am doing well in reducing my doses, but my true aim is for 10 mg instead of coming off completely. 

 

I think I have been overdoing my keep fit as well so this next week I am not going to any classes just going to do the swimming and sauna, as both my hips ache and I feel achy all over, mind you that could be withdrawal too and I could be coming out in sympathy with my husband's hips.  I have made a GP appointment for 2 weeks time to complain about my hips but I will cancel it if they stop aching with rest.  Here in GB we have to book appointments in advance really, nothing is available immediately unless it is an emergency.

 

When my husband gets over his 2nd hip op I want him to have a go at getting off his tramadol as I think it reduces his appetite.  He has tried reducing it before but became really ill - a familiar story I am afraid.

 

But the exercise makes me sleep like a log, it is just that I over do things, moderation is not me!  Hope you are feeling well Flowers and are enjoying stability.  Frogie, how is Brownie doing?  and you? 

 

I am in the midst of my first year accounts which is important to see how it impacts on our farm and my income tax and although I do the farm accounts it is the first time I have done my own!  In a way it was much easier being on benefits, but I wasn't ill enough to stay on them, I had in fact been feeling quite a lot better for sometime, so at least I have been honest, and coming off benefits has helped me to develop in so many other ways.

[Frogie]

Hi Joy:

 

What is Spirulina used for?

 

 I'm really struggling right now. Lots if panic attacks and crying.

 

I talked to my vet yesterday. She said if Brownie was sick and very dehydrated, her numbers would be way off. She thought that vet was insensitive to tell me to put her down, but she doesn't know Brownie and I. My vet called in a prescription for Metronidazole for Brownie to stop the diarrhea, and see if she will eat. She is now eating chicken baby food and hamburgers, but her nose is cold and wet. She's drinking a little more water too.  She wants blood work done in 2 weeks and see what happens.

 

Just pray for me. I really need my little girl.

 

I wish your hubby luck with his surgery, keep me informed. I'm sending you prayers.

 

Thanks for caring. I'm so glad you are doing well.

 

Hi Flowers, I'm so glad you got to dance in the rain. We have none, it's in the high 90's here. Wish we could get some rain.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[joy2730]

Hi Frogie

 

Spirulina was recommended to me by someone at the leisure centre who has no health difficulties that I know of (may be hidden of course) as a general health superfood.  It contains 65% protein, magnesium and B12.  It is like the scum off ponds, it is a green/blue powder which I got from Holland and Barrett, it seems to fill me up and give me energy. It also seems very strong so I am just using a half teaspoon a day.  I have never tried magnesium to help with withdrawal, this is the nearest I have got to trying magnesium, but I do feel a lot healthier for taking it.

 

You mix it in smoothies but I am tending to mix it with water and then just swallow quickly, it doesn't taste too good but does seem to be helping me right now.  I will finish this packet and then see what I am like without it, because I do sometimes wonder if these products are really worth the money or indeed if they are genuine.  But I do have more energy, yet that could be because of less citalopram in me?  Like all these things it is impossible to know.  Or the exercise could be making me feel better?  Probably a bit of everything.

 

I am sorry the vet was insensitive with you, some of them think they are being cruel to be kind, but it is not really the best way.  To make such a big decision you have to come to that conclusion yourself, and sometimes it is all just too soon.  Vets are not God, neither are we, Brownie should have the chance to get better.  If Brownie is in a lot of pain/distress then you would need to think, but I am sure you would know in yourself.  How tough for you, and it is natural to feel so upset. 

 

Thanks for your good wishes for my husband, we are getting on fine at the moment, which is good, as the years have not been kind to us as a couple really and my poor mental health has got in the way of things in the past.  However, sometimes I think my new mental health is a bit of a shock to my husband too!

 

Is Brownie sleeping in her normal pattern and showing an interest in life, is her coat glossy, has she got trouble with her teeth that is stopping her eating or wanting to eat?

 

Joy

[joy2730]

I am in a wave today lots of bodily aches a bit if nausea and dizziness but I am sitting this out and not up dosing. 

 

I also feel a bit more sensitive to everything around me.

 

I am not depressed or anxious though.

 

Joy