☼ joy2730: withdrawing from citalopram, quetiapine

[Frogie]

2 hours ago, joy2730 said:

I am in a wave today lots of bodily aches a bit if nausea and dizziness but I am sitting this out and not up dosing. 

 

I also feel a bit more sensitive to everything around me.

 

I am not depressed or anxious though.

 

Joy

I'm sorry you aren't feeling well. I wake up with nausea almost every morning, but goes away in an hour or so. My lower back has hurt for 2 days now. I think mine is because of my baby though. I hope you feel better soon.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[joy2730]

I am feeling a lot better now.  My left hip hurts quite a bit but my other symptoms seem to have cleared up.  I have a doctors appointment about my hip in two weeks time.  I think it is because of all my spinning but who knows?

 

How is Brownie doing?  I am having a lovely day with my daughter and grandaughter visiting my mother - doing very little.  Esme is a little darling and so easy.  But like all babies it is a big commitment.

[Frogie]

12 minutes ago, joy2730 said:

I am feeling a lot better now.  My left hip hurts quite a bit but my other symptoms seem to have cleared up.  I have a doctors appointment about my hip in two weeks time.  I think it is because of all my spinning but who knows?

 

How is Brownie doing?  I am having a lovely day with my daughter and grandaughter visiting my mother - doing very little.  Esme is a little darling and so easy.  But like all babies it is a big commitment.

Hi Joy:

 

I'm glad you are feeling better. Your hips could be from your spinning, but best to get it checked out.

 

How wonderful you get to spend the day with your mom, daughter and granddaughter. I really miss my granddaughter.

 

I think Brownie is feeling better. She is eating better and drinking water. I guess we will know more in a couple of weeks when the vet does blood work again. 

 

Have a wonderful day.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

 

[joy2730]

Great to heat from you Frogie - I guess we are all work  in progress - me you and Brownie

[Frogie]

2 hours ago, joy2730 said:

Great to heat from you Frogie - I guess we are all work  in progress - me you and Brownie

I guess so... 

[joy2730]

Quote

 

Yesterday turned out to be a very bad day emotionally with my mother and now my daughter Heather says she is so drained that she isn't doing anything today except trying to recover.  Basically my mother wants to go in a care home but my brother cant face having to pay all his bills on his own, he lives with my mother, and doesn't want her to spend all our inheritance in care home fees. 

 

So I am switching off my phone and computer when I have typed this to try and recover myself.  Yesterday was emotional torture.  I rang my mother's Integrated Mental Health Services this morning to express my concerns.

 

I slept well despite all this but now have pins and needless all over my body but my hip is better.  In the night my thumbs and bunions became involved in the aching, so the good news is I think it is all just withdrawal, even my hips.  Thumbs and bunions seem similar really?

 

It is the emotional stuff with my mother that is difficult to bear.  My mother is either being abused by my brother or being very manipulative herself.

 

I don['t care about inheriting anything, I thought she had cut me out of her will a long time ago.

 

My daughter is gaining weight even though she is breast feeding Esme still 2 or 3 times a day.  She had a lovely figure just after giving birth and has ruined it with overeating, I think she is stressed and depressed by being a new mother. 

 

I think I am in the middle of a group of women comprising my mother, myself and my daughter none of whom have any emotional bottle.  That is some self revelation.

 

This morning I have fiddled on with my syringes and dosages and done it much more accurately.  I nearly rang my GP to request some liquid citalopram but couldn't be bothered in the end.

 

This site is wonderful, it helps me to clarify my life as well as document my withdrawal, the two have to run side by side but I guess that is the same for all of us.

 

So I am heading off for a sauna and then a gentle swim, I have just one spin class this week, booked for the morning, and am turning off all my electronic devices to give my brain a rest. 

 

Frogie how is dear Brownie and how are you coping with worrying about her.  I sat with our farm dog Fly last night and I swear it helped me to sleep better.  Flowers, hope that all is good and stable with you. stable is good, I am basically stable just with a few aches and pains and life throwing its slings and arrows in there.

 

Joy

[Frogie]

4 hours ago, joy2730 said:

Yesterday turned out to be a very bad day emotionally with my mother and now my daughter Heather says she is so drained that she isn't doing anything today except trying to recover.  Basically my mother wants to go in a care home but my brother cant face having to pay all his bills on his own, he lives with my mother, and doesn't want her to spend all our inheritance in care home fees. 

 

So I am switching off my phone and computer when I have typed this to try and recover myself.  Yesterday was emotional torture.  I rang my mother's Integrated Mental Health Services this morning to express my concerns.

 

I slept well despite all this but now have pins and needless all over my body but my hip is better.  In the night my thumbs and bunions became involved in the aching, so the good news is I think it is all just withdrawal, even my hips.  Thumbs and bunions seem similar really?

 

It is the emotional stuff with my mother that is difficult to bear.  My mother is either being abused by my brother or being very manipulative herself.

 

I don['t care about inheriting anything, I thought she had cut me out of her will a long time ago.

 

My daughter is gaining weight even though she is breast feeding Esme still 2 or 3 times a day.  She had a lovely figure just after giving birth and has ruined it with overeating, I think she is stressed and depressed by being a new mother. 

 

I think I am in the middle of a group of women comprising my mother, myself and my daughter none of whom have any emotional bottle.  That is some self revelation.

 

This morning I have fiddled on with my syringes and dosages and done it much more accurately.  I nearly rang my GP to request some liquid citalopram but couldn't be bothered in the end.

 

This site is wonderful, it helps me to clarify my life as well as document my withdrawal, the two have to run side by side but I guess that is the same for all of us.

 

So I am heading off for a sauna and then a gentle swim, I have just one spin class this week, booked for the morning, and am turning off all my electronic devices to give my brain a rest. 

 

Frogie how is dear Brownie and how are you coping with worrying about her.  I sat with our farm dog Fly last night and I swear it helped me to sleep better.  Flowers, hope that all is good and stable with you. stable is good, I am basically stable just with a few aches and pains and life throwing its slings and arrows in there.

 

Joy

Hi Joy:

 

I'm so sorry about your day yesterday. You were doing so well, hopefully it will be better today.

 

Brownie is eating chicken baby food, drinking water. She even chased the cat this morning. I left a message with her vet when we can make an appt for her see her. Hopefully soon.

 

I hope your day gets better. Now shut off your phone and computer and take care of yourself.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[Flowers]

Hi Joy

 

So sorry all this is happening to you. Sometimes life events happen all at once don't they!

 

It is hard on you as I know you will want to fix everything but that is just sometimes impossible. It is hard to stop yourself worrying about your family.

 

From the little experience I have you have to have peace of mind that you did everything possible for your mother. She shouldn't suffer because your brother is worried about his inheritance. When my mother in law had to go into care  because of dementia she was in the nursing home for 6 years before she died. She lost all her life savings and her flat had to be sold. There was very little left when she died but we knew we had done the right thing for her and she was kept happy and comfortable in those last years. 

 

Your daughter is tired like most 'new mothers'. You are helping her with caring for Esme when you can. Esme is thriving and that is the main thing. She will get her figure back when she is ready I am sure. 

 

You have to take care of yourself too. Good idea to turn off your phone and computer and have a rest. 

 

There are some days when it is hard to cope with anything in WD. Sounds like you are having one of those times. 

 

Hope you can get some rest from it all and hopefully these symptoms will ease off a bit.

 

Thinking of you.

 

Flowers xxx

[joy2730]

Hi Flowers

 

Thank you for your comments, they are most helpful.  I don't mind her spending every last penny on herself, but my mother wants to inherit as much as possible.  It is something I have seen a lot of while I have been a carer.  Part of the reason I tried to go back to work was to provide some money for myself and didn't want to rely on waiting for my inheritance, in fact at one stage I was told by my brother that I had been cut out of the house and was only got to get any left over savings.  Honestly, families.

 

My husband has been admitted to James Cook Middlesbrough this morning for his hip op, my daughter took him.  I am working as per usual.  I did take time off last week but then his op was cancelled.  The best laid plans.  I can get emergency cover though if anything goes wrong.

 

Despite all this my withdrawal is going better.  I drove to Thirsk this morning, 15 miles Frogie, for my spin session, swim and sauna which makes me feel better.  I have noticed that over the last few days I have been eating out of comfort, which I can't blame the citalopram withdrawal for, I can see a definite pattern emerging.

 

I have now got a 1ml syringe which I am using in conjunction with my 5 ml syringe to make my reductions more accurate.  I have realised that you can get a 0.5 ml syringe as well so I may get some of those as well as I get down the doses a bit more and make smaller and smaller adjustments.  I realise using my 1 ml syringe now how important it is too be accurate and how easily you can get the dose completely out.

 

Today my mood is stable, and I feel well despite all, but I had a very bad nightmare last night the details of which I will spare you.  This seems to be a pattern with me.  Today I forgot my daughter's mobile number which is the only one I know by heart and feel very forgetful as if my short term memory is affected.  I have also just paid my Barclaycard bill a week too early, which makes a credit card pretty pointless!

 

I have the odd spells of feeling hot and dizzy and have the dreaded constipation back and my eating is all over the place.  I don't think I am mentally in a fit state to do my expenses for my tax year today so am leaving it til tomorrow.  About a year ago I made a big VAT error which I had to wait 3 months to correct all because of withdrawal.  I remember once reading on this site that in withdrawal you will be in no fit state to complete a tax return, well I can agree with that.

 

So I have

 

memory problems

nightmares

dizziness

hotness

 

and also I have a strange feeling in my forehead that someone has their fingers in my brain and are massaging it, but it feels quite pleasant.

 

Judging by previous reductions I will have another bad dream tonight but not as bad and these other symptoms will be gone in about a week.  It does seem to be forming a pattern.

 

I am taking it easy at work today and doing more tomorrow, including my paperwork tomorrow.

 

Interestingly when I walked our farm dog out last night, Fly, I got chatting to a neighbour I had never met before and it was lovely..  Her dog made friends with Fly and we had a lovely conversation, it was so refreshing and it started me thinking that I am 58 now and have had a pretty traumatic life and that I might like to slow down a bit in the near future.  It is the first time I have ever thought like this, I suppose that is how these thoughts start.  I suppose my mother husband daughter and granddaughter are all going round in my head and making me feel it is too much to work as well.  I briefly mentioned it to my daughter and she said not to make any rash decisions.

 

I do know for sure this will be my last live-in position. 

 

I love my work, but working isn't everything, and we can manage without my money, but I have spent so long being broke it is nice to have a bit of financial freedom.

 

I am writing this as it is because it is all part of my withdrawal and others may gain some insight into their withdrawals by my doing so, it also helps me to sort things out in my own head.

 

Flowers, you sound stable and in a good place, I really hope you are.  Frogie, how is Brownie?  I have heard from a Facebook friend today that she is having her dog put to sleep but yet he ran to the door when the postman arrived, how crazy is that?

 

Flowers, I saw someone a report of someone who had had genetic testing and the report actually did a list of recommended antidepressants and those that would cause trouble.  How good is that!   Presumably that is what you will get after your testing, lets hope citalopram is on the good list and I bet venlafaxine will be on the bad list for you.  I suspect I am the same too.  I also think Prozac is on my bad list and mirtazapine.

 

Take care everyone, and sorry for the long drawn out posts, but it is helping me to work my way through things and others may be able to pick out snippets of useful information.

 

Joy

[joy2730]

 

I am still doing well on 17 mg,  it has been 20 days now and symptoms are completely bearable but still present a little, so there is much work in progress going on in my mind and body.

 

My hip pain has gone and I didn't have a bad nightmare last night, not even a bad dream.

 

I am going to see my husband this afternoon in hospital, he is doing well after his hip op but had to be catheterised last night.   I have arranged cover for where I work.  It is an hour's drive to the hospital.  (rural areas, Frogie!)

 

He very rarely rings me in life on the whole, but he rang me immediately he was out of the op and then rang me last night to say he hadn't been able to pass urine and had been catheterised.

 

My daughter had a meeting re her employment grievance and seems OK about it, as far as she can be.  I will ring my brother tonight to see how my mother is doing.  Ugh families - don't seem to be able to live with them or without them.

 

But withdrawal is good.

 

Joy

[Frogie]

7 hours ago, joy2730 said:

 

I am still doing well on 17 mg,  it has been 20 days now and symptoms are completely bearable but still present a little, so there is much work in progress going on in my mind and body.

 

My hip pain has gone and I didn't have a bad nightmare last night, not even a bad dream.

 

I am going to see my husband this afternoon in hospital, he is doing well after his hip op but had to be catheterised last night.   I have arranged cover for where I work.  It is an hour's drive to the hospital.  (rural areas, Frogie!)

 

He very rarely rings me in life on the whole, but he rang me immediately he was out of the op and then rang me last night to say he hadn't been able to pass urine and had been catheterised.

 

My daughter had a meeting re her employment grievance and seems OK about it, as far as she can be.  I will ring my brother tonight to see how my mother is doing.  Ugh families - don't seem to be able to live with them or without them.

 

But withdrawal is good.

 

Joy

Hi Joy:

 

I'm so glad that your husbands surgery went well. I'm sure that's a big relief for you. It's common to not pass urine after surgery and have a catheter for a few days. It's happened to me. Just tell him to drink lots of water.

 

I'm glad your daughter is better also. It's so hard with a baby to work. She has the baby blues. She will feel better soon.

 

Good luck with your mom and brother. That's a challenge, but you will succeed one way or another.

 

I take Brownie to her vet in the morning 2 1/2 hour drive. I'm so scared what the vet is going to say. I have literally made myself sick. I don't want her to suffer in anyway, but at the same time, I'm not ready to give her up. She is eating McDonald's hamburgers, chicken baby food and today she actually ate one of her treats! She hasn't done that in quite a few days.

 

I'm very glad you are doing well with your tapering. That's awesome.

 

Hope everything is well otherwise.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[joy2730]

Hi Frogie

 

Sorry you are going through emotional hell about Brownie, sometimes we feel more love for our pets than the people around us.  If I am on my own in life totally I will have a dog and a cat and totally dedicate myself to them.  You can listen to the vet but don't have to take their advice, you can always wait longer and see how it goes, and see how you feel later down the line.

 

Appetite is a good indicator.  I have always felt vets are ''trigger happy' with the 'putting down syring' - they do it so often each day it is like breathing to them.

My son's girlfriend is a veterinary nurse and she takes all this putting to sleep in her stride, thinks nothing of it, but it can be too soon, it is too easy for them to do.  Some people are quite squeamish when their pets are ill and can't cope, but I nursed Pippa to the very end - my cat - and was glad I did.  In the end my son said if the RSPCA saw Pippa they would insist he was put to sleep and he was right, but I hung on and on and was glad I did.

 

My husband is fine and is being discharged today, my daughter is picking him up and I am home Monday to look after him, my daughter is doing it until then.  He is without the catheter now but is slightly incontinent, urine, but my house is stuffed with incontinence wear from my work.  He is also battling a MRSA infection - they operated despite this - using high intensity drip antibiotics.  They knew in a pre screening he had this infection and had treatment before going into hospital.  They think he caught the infection when he had his last hip op about 18 months ago, but he has never had any symptoms.

 

I am going to ring my brother re my mother this afternoon - wishing myself well with that one.

 

All this wall to wall care world I have entered is putting me off growing my business at the moment!

 

My withdrawal is going well, just slightly hot now and then, but sleeping well and appetite more balanced, I think I look well too.

 

My husband hasn't slept for 3 nights now, so hopefully when home tonight he will sleep better.  He didn't sleep the night before hospital or the 2 nights in hospital.

 

So withdrawal can be done with all this going on, but it will be a long time before I consider myself safe to drop again, I know there is still work going on in my mind/body.

 

Make the most of your time with Brownie, lots of cuddles, call the 'cuddle team'.

 

Joy

[Flowers]

Hi Joy

 

Good news that your husband can come home.  Hopefully he will be more comfortable and have peace and quiet so he can get some rest.

 

It will be easier than you having to drive all that way to the hospital to visit him.

 

Hope all is going well with the  WD symptoms staying away.

 

Good luck with your brother. 

 

Flowers xxx

 

 

[joy2730]

Flowers, thanks for replying, it is always great to hear from you.

 

My husband came home yesterday and my son and daughter are looking after him until I get home tomorrow, and he seems to be doing better.   He said he slept last night more than in hospital, but not properly.  I guess it has disturbed him but he is doing well.  My son cooked him a roast chicken dinner, perhaps he is not so bad after all, and my husband said he was glad to be home.

 

I took the bull by the horns yesterday afternoon and rang my brother, who has arranged for some sort of private carer from in their area called Kate, so that is something.  I am going to try to visit my mother a week on Tuesday if all is OK with my husband.

 

When my daughter picked my husband up from the hospital, which is a long drive, she left Esme with a friend of hers, and Victoria took Esme to the local pub!  Apparently Esme loved all the attention, she is absolutely at ease with people.  I can't wait to see her tomorrow.

 

Despite all this going on I am feeling well and stable, just hot and sweaty from time to time.  So clearly things are going on with withdrawal but not enough to upset me.  I am sleeping well and my weight was 13 stone 7 lbs this morning, used to be 14 stone 10 lbs.  I haven't really dropped any weight for a while now, but at least it is stable, which is something.

 

I was not going to order any more protein drinks today, but I like them and the Spirulina mixes well with them.  Interestingly I look well. 

 

I confess I don't like everyone around me being ill/old or young (Esme) but I guess it is the stage of life I am in.  My client is sleeping a lot more during the day now, as well as all night now, so there is time for me to do bits and pieces for myself.  Liz is 92 now so it can only be expected, but it is still a big commitment.

 

Withdrawal can never be quick, at least not for me, and not necessarily wise, but for some people it is easy.  I met another carer yesterday, a young mum, who has been on and off sertraline a few times and has never found withdrawal difficult, but she is young, I would guess about 24, and can't have been on them decades like me.

 

Obviously I never tell these carers about my own struggles, but when they tell me theirs I learn such a lot.  Like loads of people take them.

 

Thank you to you all for letting me use this board as a sounding board in my withdrawal, which so far is going very well. 

 

Looking to the future I will have to be at 17 mg for a longer period than one month I am sure to avoid disaster in the future.

 

Frogie, how are you and Brownie today?

 

Joy

[Frogie]

4 hours ago, joy2730 said:

Flowers, thanks for replying, it is always great to hear from you.

 

My husband came home yesterday and my son and daughter are looking after him until I get home tomorrow, and he seems to be doing better.   He said he slept last night more than in hospital, but not properly.  I guess it has disturbed him but he is doing well.  My son cooked him a roast chicken dinner, perhaps he is not so bad after all, and my husband said he was glad to be home.

 

I took the bull by the horns yesterday afternoon and rang my brother, who has arranged for some sort of private carer from in their area called Kate, so that is something.  I am going to try to visit my mother a week on Tuesday if all is OK with my husband.

 

When my daughter picked my husband up from the hospital, which is a long drive, she left Esme with a friend of hers, and Victoria took Esme to the local pub!  Apparently Esme loved all the attention, she is absolutely at ease with people.  I can't wait to see her tomorrow.

 

Despite all this going on I am feeling well and stable, just hot and sweaty from time to time.  So clearly things are going on with withdrawal but not enough to upset me.  I am sleeping well and my weight was 13 stone 7 lbs this morning, used to be 14 stone 10 lbs.  I haven't really dropped any weight for a while now, but at least it is stable, which is something.

 

I was not going to order any more protein drinks today, but I like them and the Spirulina mixes well with them.  Interestingly I look well. 

 

I confess I don't like everyone around me being ill/old or young (Esme) but I guess it is the stage of life I am in.  My client is sleeping a lot more during the day now, as well as all night now, so there is time for me to do bits and pieces for myself.  Liz is 92 now so it can only be expected, but it is still a big commitment.

 

Withdrawal can never be quick, at least not for me, and not necessarily wise, but for some people it is easy.  I met another carer yesterday, a young mum, who has been on and off sertraline a few times and has never found withdrawal difficult, but she is young, I would guess about 24, and can't have been on them decades like me.

 

Obviously I never tell these carers about my own struggles, but when they tell me theirs I learn such a lot.  Like loads of people take them.

 

Thank you to you all for letting me use this board as a sounding board in my withdrawal, which so far is going very well. 

 

Looking to the future I will have to be at 17 mg for a longer period than one month I am sure to avoid disaster in the future.

 

Frogie, how are you and Brownie today?

 

Joy

Hi Joy:

 

I'm so glad your husband is doing better. And your children are there to help him. I think you always heal and feel better at home.

 

I woke up at midnight sick. Threw up and diarrhea. I don't know if I ate something yesterday, or just nerves. Still don't feel super today.

 

Esme went to a pub? How funny. I bet she was the life of the party. It will be nice for you to be able to spend some time with her.

 

I posted about Brownie on my thread. This morning she doesn't want to eat. I think she's just worn out from yesterday. Hopefully she will eat later.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[joy2730]

Hi everyone

 

Today I picked my citalopram from the GP surgery and the receptionist said the doctor wanted to know if I was still taking the citalopram.  I arranged a telephone consultation to discuss and explain.  During the conversation I asked if I could have a prescription for liquid citalopram but the doctor said she was worried I would get my calculations wrong for using the liquid and undue all the withdrawal I had done previously, but I do think she was actually saying, no it is too expensive.  She said to stick with cutting up the pills, and if I felt ill to go back up the dose for a few days and then back down again, say 15 mg for a few days, back up to 20 if I felt ill for a few days and then back down to 15 mg. 

 

But this site doesn't agree does it with that strategy?  I don't think I do either these days.

 

She always said to leave 4 weeks between dose reductions which is I suppose broadly correct, but I think I need longer. 

 

She also said that many people find they have a better quality of life if they stay on a low dose indefinitely, and that discussing the rights and wrongs of that didn't really get anyone anywhere.  She said it was better to take a low dose indefinitely than walk around feeling rotten all the time.

 

She also said that severe dizziness was the most common withdrawal symptom seen at their medical practice.  Headaches and nausea are mine though.

 

It was one of those bitter sweet conversations, I guess with frustration on both sides. 

 

I have reported it as it was told to me today.

 

In withdrawal I am fine today, just a slight headache.  Yesterday I did swim, sauna, a bit of gym and then spinning.  This morning I did pilates, tomorrow morning I am doing spin, swim and sauna again and then back to work.  I do feel physically a lot better, but still look like a bag of old potatoes, all lumpy and saggy.  But mentally I think it does me good, in fact its mental effects seem more pronounced than the physical effects, and I sleep really well.

 

My husband is doing really well after his hip op but has cold turkeyed his tramadol with his GP's blessing (same telephone consultation as I had).  He was only taking 50 mg twice a day, but I think that is really bad advice, but I don't really know.

 

I have spent some lovely time with Esme these last few days, and am just going to see her now as I won't see her til next Monday now.  She is changing all the time and I am really enjoying getting to know her.

 

My daughter is doing well with her maternity grievance claim, she needs to set the record straight, and starts her new 10 hr a week job on Oct 17. She seems less stressed about it.

 

I thought you all and the moderators would be interested in my GP's comments.

 

Joy

 

[joy2730]

Today I am well.  I have been watching a documentary on Netflix called 'Attacking the Devil' and it is a chilling account of how the drug thalidomide cause many birth defects between 1958 and 1961.  I don't think America ever prescribed it, and I am not sure about Europe but Britain certainly did. 

 

According to the documentary at the time nobody believed drugs could cross the placental barrier and therefore no one realised the unborn would be at risk.  It was a sedative prescribed for morning sickness.

 

I am describing it to show how there have been serious problems with drugs in the past, not just now in society.

 

Joy

[Flowers]

Hi Joy

 

I am not sure what to think about your GP. Does she really get WD and how everyone is different in how they react to coming off the drugs?

 

We probably have more people on this site than GP's will ever see in their consulting rooms and it speaks for itself how jumping around with dosages has a bad effect on the brain.

 

 I am sure your Dr has your best interests at heart but of course they want you to stay on the drugs - it is good for business!  I just wish that GP's would read some of the posts on this site to gauge how badly advised and managed their patients have been.

 

 I am afraid I don't have much faith in the medical profession with regards to mental  health issues especially after my experiences this year. I have decided that I will take my lead from the signals my brain and body are giving me in WD to determine tapering/holding. ( I have told my GP this because he prescribes the dreaded drugs.)  That and of course the excellent guidance from SA.  The problem is we are all different but Dr's seem to follow a certain protocol that doesn't take this into consideration.  Some people can taper off a drug fairly quickly and others like us can't. 

 

You are intelligent Joy and always come up with some interesting facts and info. The Thalidomide episode was so tragic. I am sure over the years before social media, internet or whatever there have been many cases of drugs that should never have been prescribed. There was no way of knowing or collating information.

 

Too much to go into here but I believe there are also drugs that give patients such bad side effects that they have to be medicated for these 'secondary' illnesses. Food for thought.

 

Glad you are doing well and things are going OK with hubby and the family.

 

Love from Flowers xxx

 

 

 

 

[joy2730]

Yes, Flowers

 

I came off the phone from my GP feeling angry and frustrated.  We don't keep to one at our surgery, we have one main one and then you have to speak to whoever is 'on'.  This particular GP once said to me that if I stopped taking lithium I would end up being 'sectioned' as I would be so ill - and this never happened.  Sadly she lost any credibility at that point with me, and I just agreed with her on the phone to avoid confrontation. I don't think jumping around in dose is helpful, in fact I feel it is most unhelpful, it is not something I am going to be doing, as I have done it before and it got me nowhere.

 

I don't have any faith in doctors now for mental health issues at all, I am just going to do my own thing.

 

On the thalidomide disaster the drug manufacturer Distillers, were really makers of gin and whisky but were concerned that post war people were turning to psychiatric drugs such as the barbiturates rather than alcohol so decided to join the manufacturer of sedatives.  They can never made a drug before so teamed up with a firm called Grutenthal, manufacturers of soaps and perfumes and together they made Distaval (thalidomide).  It was a four week trial period before the patent was granted.  Sounds awful doesn't it, and very similar to the Prozac story.

 

I am good to go.  My family is pulling itself back to normal a bit.  My husband and I have been chatting a lot recently and have decided when I am 60 (a year in December) to let my son Ben take over the farm and we will get a small house in a nearby town which has a lot more facilities, but from which my husband can easily get back to the farm, I can help with Esme and there will be lots of job opportunities for me if I carry on working.  It took us days and days of thinking and then all of a sudden I came to the correct decision.

 

It won't be easy to arrange everything and sort the money out but my husband deserves a few years of just enjoying farming with my son but without the responsibility and commitment he has now and it is time for Ben to have free rein. 

 

The town we are planning on going to has all the facilities we will need, it is where I go to my fitness classes and I am really pleased with the decision.  It has schools all the way through to 16, shops, care homes, nursing homes, a GP, dentist but yet is rural in nature and about 20 minutes from the farm.  My husband is 67 in October, and says he is feeling his age.  His father died at 64, his brother at 55 and his mother at 41.  He says he wants a few more days off and to live in a normal house without going out to check calving cows and lambing sheep at all hours of the day and night.  I can understand that.  Up to now I have not wanted to face the changes, but now I feel I can.

 

So, I am still in a good place with my withdrawal, syringing out accurate dosages and not really struggling with it.  I feel calm actually even though family wise we have all sorts that keeps kicking off. 

 

We have Esme's christening in church this next weekend and are doing the catering ourselves, but mainly my daughter is doing it.

 

I am glad I am down to 17 mg citalopram, I have no plans to go down again for about 3 weeks.  I am in no rush, especially as I only want to reduce now and not actually withdraw.

 

Thanks Flowers for listening to me and Frogie hope you are OK.

 

Joy

[joy2730]

A minor escalation of wd symptoms this morning so it obviously takes longer than 4 weeks for them to appear in me.

 

This I find very interesting, so I need longer holds perhaps 8 weeks, is this because I have taken them for so long and am older?

 

Bearable though.

 

Joy

[Frogie]

Hi Joy:

 

Hope you are doing well.

 

What are your WD symptoms?

 

I'm hanging in.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[joy2730]

Hi Frogie  sweating nausea wanting to physically be sick dizziness but I went to a legs bums and tums class followed by spinning and by the end of the two classes I feel completely OK and all the symptoms had gone.

 

The only symptoms I didn't have were burning skin pins and needles and nightmares.

 

I also felt very tired but I don't now. 

 

Can exercise help.on.this way with withdrawal?

 

Hope you are not too stressed about brownie?  

 

I am typing on my phone which I don't like but I am with Esme and can't get to.my laptop or computer.

 

Joy 

[Frogie]

34 minutes ago, joy2730 said:

Hi Frogie  sweating nausea wanting to physically be sick dizziness but I went to a legs bums and tums class followed by spinning and by the end of the two classes I feel completely OK and all the symptoms had gone.

 

The only symptoms I didn't have were burning skin pins and needles and nightmares.

 

I also felt very tired but I don't now. 

 

Can exercise help.on.this way with withdrawal?

 

Hope you are not too stressed about brownie?  

 

I am typing on my phone which I don't like but I am with Esme and can't get to.my laptop or computer.

 

Joy 

Wow Joy:

 

Those are the symptoms I wake up with every morning. But I'm sure it's due to Brownie. I was fine before that.

 

If I had those symptoms I wouldn't go to those classes, you have guts girl!

 

I haven't been exercising much, so I don't know if it helps with WD or not. Obviously it helped with yours.

 

I am soooo stressed about Brownie, it isn't funny. I don't know what to do anymore except sit with her and love her.

 

I'm glad you have Esme. I haven't seen my granddaughter since August. I really miss her.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[joy2730]

Hi Frogie

 

That is the trouble with AD withdrawal, it feels like nerves and so people think they are still ill.

 

I am so sorry you are feeling so rotten, but it is entirely natural, when loved ones aren't well it is natural to feel ill.

 

Just do what you can for Brownie, love is everything and is our main connection in life.  I do believe that animals love us back and the animal range of emotions are pretty similar to humans. 

 

Try to take care

 

Joy

[Frogie]

22 minutes ago, joy2730 said:

Hi Frogie

 

That is the trouble with AD withdrawal, it feels like nerves and so people think they are still ill.

 

I am so sorry you are feeling so rotten, but it is entirely natural, when loved ones aren't well it is natural to feel ill.

 

Just do what you can for Brownie, love is everything and is our main connection in life.  I do believe that animals love us back and the animal range of emotions are pretty similar to humans. 

 

Try to take care

 

Joy

You are doing really well with your WD symptoms if you can do all that exercise. If I was sick to my stomach and tried that, I would be running for the bathroom lol...

 

Brownie is very special. She gives me unconditional love, like a human can't.

 

Hopefully the meds are working and she will be better.

 

Thanks for asking. It means a lot.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[joy2730]

Take care Frogie  remember that if you don't take care of yourself you won't be able to concentrate on Brownie.

 

Joy

[Frogie]

2 hours ago, joy2730 said:

Take care Frogie  remember that if you don't take care of yourself you won't be able to concentrate on Brownie.

 

Joy

I'm doing the best I can. I just don't feel good, just nerves.

 

Thanks for caring.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[Flowers]

Hi

 

I am like you Joy and feel these symptoms first thing in the morning. Most days I can do something physical, although not as hard as your work outs, and it helps the symptoms go away.

Wonder if it is to do with cortisol?

 

Today it didn't work and I am confined to the sofa feeling lousy but nowhere near as bad as I have been.

 

Think the older we get and the longer we have been on the drugs it takes more of a toll on us.

 

Hello Frogie if you are reading this.  Thinking of you and Brownie  - lots of hugs to you both.

 

Love from Flowers xxx

 

 

[joy2730]

Thanks Flowers for your reply.  Yes mornings seem to be when I get bad symptoms.  This morning I didn't have any symptoms.

 

However this afternoon I was unbelievably tired and really feeling my age which is something I haven't felt in a long time but I did used to feel tired like this when I withdrew from dothiepin.  So I think the tiredress is probably withdrawal.

 

I am having a quiet night tonight in with my husband.  I drove him for a hip op check up today 1 1/2 hrs each way and he is doing fine.

 

Needless to say I will not be dropping dose in the near future.  My figure is looking so much better and for Esme''s christening on Sunday I am wearing a dress I wore four years ago together with my jacket from 30 yrs ago when I married my second and present husband.  So I am winning with my weight.  Interestingly the tiredness and weight loss have occurred together.

 

I am just doing swim and sauna in the morning in a gentle sort of way.

 

The way I feel I might well spend the rest of my life on 17 mg citalopram.  I do think it was harder reducing the dothiepin - the symptoms were much worse both physically and mentally.  So that is something but I suppose when I look back I had very little idea of what was going on.

 

I am enjoying feeling more aware of everything though.

 

I read somewhere that taking an aspirin at night can reduce morning cortisol problems but I can't be sure.

Joy

[joy2730]

I feel well in myself but last night my sleep was very shallow and this morning I ached all over my body.  I still went to sauna and swim and felt better for that.  I haven't taken my Spirulina for 2 days as I was back home and just out of my routine and busy, so maybe that was why I felt the aches more.  I took 2 paracetamol in the end and that really eased the aches and then I felt better.

 

I also bought some cake for my husband and didn't eat as healthily.  Back on to the healthly stuff now though.  I am having some time at home this weekend, on Friday Heather, Esme and I are going to see my mother and Sunday is Esme's christening.  I find it harder to control my food when I am at home, this is much less of a routine then and much more unhealthy food on offer.

 

So things just few a little more uncomfortable at present but I am sticking this through instead of panicking and going back to 20 mg.  I can't face going back, I look and feel so much better for this small reduction.

 

Joy

[joy2730]

Had a better night's sleep and don't feel the symptoms so much today. 

 

I am reporting regularly so anyone reading can see the changes.

 

I really need to learn to ride these symptoms out and let them resolve and stabilise instead of panicking and going back to full dose.

 

Joy

[Frogie]

4 hours ago, joy2730 said:

Had a better night's sleep and don't feel the symptoms so much today. 

 

I am reporting regularly so anyone reading can see the changes.

 

I really need to learn to ride these symptoms out and let them resolve and stabilise instead of panicking and going back to full dose.

 

Joy

Hi Joy:

 

I'm glad you are doing so well.

 

I had a horrible day yesterday (it's in my thread).

 

Hope it continues for you.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[joy2730]

Thanks Frogie for your reply.  I will have a look at your thread.  xx

 

Joy

[Flowers]

Hi Joy

 

I suppose we all get aches and pains from time to time. Sometimes its hard to know what is and isn't related to WD.  I think as long as you are keeping your body moving and fit it will help whatever it is! 

 

Great news that you are doing well on the weight and you will feel and look great on Sunday. 

 

Take care.

 

Love from Flowers xxx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[joy2730]

Thanks Flowers 

 

Hope you are nice and stable still and enjoying life a bit more after a bad spell.

 

I am learning to sit the bad bits out - today I have felt much better and even managed a bit of a snooze in the afternoon.

 

I have lost the constant need to snack - but I am sticking at 17 for ages.  I also feel my concentration has improved and I feel more able to organise things.

 

Yes it is hard to know what is withdrawal and what is other illness or conditions.  I think the nausea sweating and dizziness are defiantly withdrawal and the nightmares though.

 

Joy

[Flowers]

Hi Joy

 

Yes, so many of us get the nausea, sweating and dizziness it must be WD. Hard to tell with aches and pains though. 

 

Good for you for holding - you have done well not to jump back up in dose.  

 

I am in a bit of a wave suffering from nausea, shakiness, agitation  and feeling giddy. It gets better as the day progresses but when I get up it is hell. I have decided to just get up, get showered, get dressed and go out and walk or do something active. Sometimes it helps. I have had a good run though having been in a window for quite a while. 

 

If I stay in and just think about how ill I feel it just makes it worse.  I like to find distractions and like being outside. I have still been able to have a lovely nap in the afternoons so it's not too bad. I have been far worse!

 

I think about the good days I have had recently and the pleasure I got out of them. This will pass and I will feel better again - just have to give it time.

 

I am enjoying reading a lot of magazines and books a friend brought me back from UK.

 

Hope your husband is still doing well.

 

Love from Flowers xxx