NaturallyJustMe My Intro

[NaturallyJustMe]

Hello everyone, I'm so happy and grateful to have found you!

 

My introduction to psych meds started with the death of my parents in '78 and '80.  I was 15.  I was given the brand new anti-depressant around 1982 (?) which essentially did nothing for me.  Whether this time in my life was characterized by major depression or not, I have no idea.  

 

 

I was DX'd around 1991 (San Francisco) with FM and given tricyclics for pain and sleep, but which literally left me staring and drooling over a long Thanksgiving weekend.  I was switched to low dose SSRI at that point.  

 

 

Fast forward to 1998, still having difficulty with sleep and body pain.  Doctor in NYC prescribed Paxil but I don't remember the dose.  I am a lightweight and so it was very small, maybe 20mg.  Discovered I was pregnant (second time, first was a miscarry) and my OB/GYN said that staying on the Paxil was safe.  It would be better to stop cold turkey but I could take this low dose throughout, safely.

 

 

At four months I had a deep pain in my belly while at work and the DX was "pre-term labor."  I had to lay on the couch for five months, with monthly ER visits to stave off delivery.

 

 

9-11-98 my son was born, 10 on the APGAR but mild jaundice.  He was born squiggling and moving as if he couldn't wait to climb the walls at home!  I stayed on Paxil and bottle fed.  After terrible PPD, maybe 10 months, I got off Paxil in about two or three weeks.

 

 

Fast forward to 9-11-01; I worked on Rector Street, 2 blocks (as the crow flies) from the WTC.  LONG story short I didn't make it home that day.  The following day my hubby picked me up from Staten Island and thus began a horrific journey that continues to this day.  Honestly I wish to G-d I hadn't ever taken these dumb meds!

Came home to my military hubby and beautiful 3 year old boy, in shock.  Called hubby from the grocery store that day, crying, saying you have to come get me. I don't know what's wrong with me.  He found me by my car, staring and singing America the Beautiful.  The pastor on post told me this was PTSD.  The medical clinic on post gave me - you guessed it, Paxil and Lorazepam 1mg, 1xd OR as needed. I started with 1/2 mg at bedtime.

 

 

Fast forward to our next duty station, Arizona 2003.  Still suffering major anxiety, poor sleep, startle response to loud or unfamiliar noises, lack of focus and fear of another terrorist attack I went to the military clinic, which was overwhelmed with soldiers returning from Iraq.  There was one Psych Dr. with a PTSD background and after much ado I was allowed on his schedule (I am not a soldier).  He told me there wasn't anything he could do to help my PTSD and that I just had to take my meds and cope.  "it doesn't get better, he said, you just learn to deal with it."  Armed with this cheery outlook, I stopped therapy, took my meds, and went about my business working, rearing my son, etc..

 

 

2004 DX of hiatal hernia and GERD, so now I need Aciphex.  Started taking that, too, and modified my diet religiously.  Good days, mostly bad days all around.  Then we moved to Maryland.  When the Paxil stopped working not long after this, I was started on Zoloft 50mg. That was '06.  

 

 

Still on lorazepam 1-2mg at bedtime and 50mg Zoloft.  Insurance company didn't want to pay for the Aciphex and forced me onto That Miserable Purple Pill, Nexium 20mg.  This is where I am today, but now I have terrible symptoms, which I'll list in a moment.  Once we moved I found out that my hubby's new gov't job still required deployment, which I thought we'd left behind with his retirement from the military.  My in-laws came to take care of me and my son in '06 because I was still PTSD and "depressed" when hubby deployed to Iraq. I got into therapy which seemed to help.  He deployed two more times to AFG and by then I felt inured to it.  Life went on, I had support.

 

 In 2011 a new therapist gave me the info that I did NOT have PTSD, probably hadn't for many many years.  In the meantime, my beloved sister died in 2010 - she had been on a bipolar chem-roster of psych meds including some hard-hitters, plus Abilify, plus Ambien, which caused her to have sleep-cooking episodes where she'd cook and eat a meal in the middle of the night and then return to bed, unaware of it until she found the mess in her kitchen the next day.  She nearly burned the house down once when she lit candles (asleep) and the bathroom caught fire.  She was left on this cocktail,  courtesy of the SF clinic system.  She died of multiple glioblastoma brain tumors. She was 48.

 

I was not depressed after her death but had and have a healthy normal experience of emotions.  My family and I mourned together, including my son, and we all still cope with her loss, and remember her with laughter and tears.

 

Over the last several years, various odd symptoms have appeared:  racing heart, increasing anxiety, muscle spasms, severe head pressure, mild paranoia, loss of balance, killer headaches, eye pressure, stomach pain for which I was given Hydrocodone!  HA!  

 

Arthritis in spine and hands, knees, joint pain, difficulty concentrating, odd thoughts, not clotting after surgery, a feeling that "this is NOT me", depersonalization (which term I found here, amen) zombie zone-outs, loss of creativity (I'm a writer/author) can't finish a project, whether cleaning house or writing a novel, fatigue, exhaustion, severe weight loss without trying, and these naps during the day that I can't stop which I call Coma-Naps.  

 

My startle response seems to be back but it's more like a hypersensitivity to sound.  I can hear a bee at 50 feet, kind of thing.  I had an episode for which hubby took me to the ER recently, where I zoned out for two minutes.  It felt like a curtain was falling over me - I think this is what is meant by depersonalization??  I described it to a nurse as being out of my body, no fear, no panic, very calm. Just, gone.   I've been to tummy doctors, ENT doctors, gyn doctors, Neuro doctors, Arthritis doctors, and NONE of them have ever suggested IT COULD BE YOUR PSYCH MEDS and an obvious benzo-diction.  My psychiatrist (15 minutes every 120 days)  said I should take MORE Zoloft, a double dose, for my hubby's current deployment to stave off anxiety and I won't do it- BTW, he leaves today.

 

I saw the  FED UP documentary which clued me in about sugar.  I saw the Daily Show episode this week with an author on the lies of big Pharma, and found my way here from a UK forum.  I have two people to use as a reality check - my friend of 28 years and my other sister.  I want off these meds, asap!  I'm horrified by what I've read and by my physical condition.  It appears as tho I am having that drug tolerance withdrawal problem.  

 

Started tapering the Lorazepam this week to 1mg per night.  Sleep is crummy last 3 days BUT i am going into REM at least twice a night which I feel is great news.  I need help to taper the Zoloft, Nexium, and also the replacement hormones I'm on.  I intend to be Naturally Just me.

 

Thank you!

 

[Altostrata]

Welcome, Naturally.

 

My guess is you have a bunch of drug-related symptoms.

 

Please put ALL the drugs you take in the Drug Interactions Checker http://www.drugs.com/drug_interactions.html and post the results in this topic.

 

To prepare for tapering, see

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4361-tips-for-tapering-off-stomach-acid-blockers-or-ppis-esomeprazole-lansoprazole-omeprazole/

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1441-tips-for-tapering-off-zoloft-sertraline/

 

In the meantime, if I were you, I would not taper the lorazepam any further until you have a plan of action.

[NaturallyJustMe]

Hi Alto, here is the interaction report.  The cyclobenzaprine is for the TMJ-like symptoms but I only use it very rarely.  I have not heard of seratonin syndrome.

 

Drug Interaction Report

Drug interactions for the following 6 drug(s):

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Unsaved Drug List cyclobenzaprine lorazepam Nasonex (mometasone nasal) Nexium (esomeprazole) Prempro (conjugated estrogens / medroxyprogesterone) Zoloft (sertraline)

 

• Consumer
• Professional
• Major Moderate Minor Food

Interactions between your selected drugs

sertraline ↔ cyclobenzaprine

Applies to: Zoloft (sertraline), cyclobenzaprine

Talk to your doctor before using sertraline together with cyclobenzaprine. Combining these medications can increase the risk of a rare but serious condition called the serotonin syndrome, which may include symptoms such as confusion, hallucination, seizure, extreme changes in blood pressure, increased heart rate, fever, excessive sweating, shivering or shaking, blurred vision, muscle spasm or stiffness, tremor, incoordination, stomach cramp, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. Severe cases may result in coma and even death. You should contact your doctor immediately if you experience these symptoms while taking the medications. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

Switch to professional interaction data

lorazepam ↔ sertraline

Applies to: lorazepam, Zoloft (sertraline)

Using LORazepam together with sertraline may increase side effects such as dizziness, drowsiness, and difficulty concentrating. Some people may also experience some impairment in thinking and judgment. You should avoid or limit the use of alcohol while being treated with these medications. Avoid driving or operating hazardous machinery until you know how the medications affect you. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

Switch to professional interaction data

lorazepam ↔ cyclobenzaprine

Applies to: lorazepam, cyclobenzaprine

Using LORazepam together with cyclobenzaprine may increase side effects such as dizziness, drowsiness, and difficulty concentrating. Some people may also experience some impairment in thinking and judgment. You should avoid or limit the use of alcohol while being treated with these medications. Avoid driving or operating hazardous machinery until you know how the medications affect you. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

Switch to professional interaction data

No other interactions were found between your selected drugs.
Note: this does not necessarily mean no interactions exist. ALWAYS consult with your doctor or pharmacist.

 

[NaturallyJustMe]

Hi again, Alto.  I've read quite a bit on tapering over the last two days.  Last night I took 1.5mg lorazepam and will hold there for now.  You're correct about having a plan of action, but I don't know what to do.   I hope you'll forgive my brain fog, i feel so crummy these days.  It makes these considerations more difficult.  It seems a lot of people start with a benzo reduction but I don't know why that is.   Frankly, I'm horrified by what I've discovered and outraged at the same time that I find myself in this predicament.  I'm going to see my PhD again as soon as I can get an appt. and let her know I intend to taper.  I'm scared about presenting this to her because I don't want to run the risk of being 51/50'd.  

 

So with the meds I'm taking, what is the recommendation for tapering?  Start with the sertraline?  Could I do sertraline concurrently with the Nexium?  How does one pick a place to start?

 

Your help is greatly appreciated!  Thank you! 

[dalsaan]

Hi NJM

 

Welcome to the forum. I'm not sure which one to start with. Others will jump in on that question but I will say don't do them concurrently. You need to be able to monitor your symptoms and make decisions based on that. If you do two at a time you won't be able to tell what is causing withdrawal symptoms if you have them (the idea is to try and avoid them by patiently tapering according to the needs of your nervous system).

 

Also wait until your system us stable from the drop you made in the benzo. Are you having any symptoms since making that drop?

 

You're in a good place. There us support and wisdom here

 

Dalsaan

[NaturallyJustMe]

Hi Dalsaan, thank you for the warm welcome! 

As Alto mentioned, there's a bunch of drug related symptoms that have to be sorted out.  I was surprised by the interaction report as it never occurred to me that my two main meds constitute a major interaction.  I've been having sides over the last year and didn't realize it until it got bad, these last few weeks.

 

Since lowering the lorazepam there's an increase in anxiety, racing heart much of the day, zoning out, can't focus for long, I get annoyed at everything, and general freaking out.  I know that's not a technical term   

 

Last night I sleepwalked which to my knowledge I've only done once before. My 16 year old son was playing xbox after I went to bed.  Apparently I dressed in sweat pants and top, used the bathroom and went downstairs.  I said, Hi, Good night, and went back up to bed.  Zero memory of any of this.  Also, I woke up this morning at a regular hour for me and felt like my body had been toasted.  My skin had a copper color to it like I'd been out in the sun.

 

Since my script was written for 1xd at bedtime or as needed, I could increase to 2mg before bed if I really felt I needed it, but that was really rare.  I don't like pills much, not even tylenol for headaches.  I just don't bother, overall.  So with my hubby prepping to go overseas there was more use at 2mg than before.  Again, it just didn't occur to me that this was really playing with fire or that any of it would catch up to me.  : ( 

 

 

Thanks again for checking in with me. It's nice to hear a friendly voice!

[Altostrata]

When did the TMJ start? That could be a side effect of sertraline, which would indicate that perhaps you should reduce sertraline first -- it's too activating for you.

[NaturallyJustMe]

The tmj started about 10 months ago.  It has gotten worse in the last few days.

[NaturallyJustMe]

This is my thinking.  Taper the sertraline 10% and switch the time I take it from bedtime to around 7p.m. so that it's no longer taken concurrently with the lorazepam.  Since I'll have to crush the tabs I'm hoping this will help with any GERD reactions.  I'll be upright for several hours rather than reclining.  Breaking pills has, in the past, resulted in reflux.  

I'm scared to start this process and wish i could just cold turkey.

 

I'm going to ask my dr. for the liquid Zoloft, however, I just don't know what her response will be to my claim of sides and intention to taper.  

 

Any suggestions for approaching this discussion?  

 

 

 

My fun, rare adverse reactions:   flushing; palpitations; chest pressure; depressed breathing; tremors; confusion; abnormal coordination; leg cramps; joint pain; follicular rash; unexplained weight loss; tinnitus; muscle cramps & weakness; teeth-grinding, withdrawal syndrome; somnambulism; coughing; rhinitis; sinusitis; laryngitis;  difficulty swallowing; eye/face pain/pressure; twitching eyelid; headache; sudden change in vision, increased coagulation time, and last night, trembling arm and hand.  

 

 

 

[andy]

I was on sertraline ,from my experience taking it at night gave me terrible insomnia so I wouldnt recomend it

[Altostrata]

How long have you been taking cyclobenzaprine? Your symptoms sound like they're from the drug interaction.

 

Speak to your doctor in a firm, calm voice. Make it clear you've made your mind up.

 

Any doctor can prescribe these drugs.

[NaturallyJustMe]

Alto, please delete my account.  I'm seeking warmer climes.

 

Thank you for your help.