westcoast Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Hi Britt. The ADD meds made me agitated, insomnical, then frankly psychotic. I don't think I had ADD. I was agiated from psych drugs. I went from about 160 pounds to 105 pounds, which was nice because I wore a U.S. size two. Other than that, I ruined my life But I am getting better and re-building. Some people have forgiven me for my bizarre behavior. 2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink. 2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ... Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures. 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years. I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body. 2015: I began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning. I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral. And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up. In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body. Link to comment
Britt Posted January 31, 2015 Author Share Posted January 31, 2015 I hope the best for you !!!! Are there people who dont have Windows and waves ? I did a slow taper and i am free of paxil for three months now and dont have Windows ? 15 + years every 3 weeks 10% taper hit zero 25-10-2014 when i started the taper 2 years ago i was taking paxil each other day for almost 2 years i got depression and it never left and i never stabelised when i was did my taper feeling very bad now and dont now what to do depression left a little when i switched to imipramine 75 mg but dont feel stable at all Link to comment
westcoast Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Thanks Three months is early days, in my opinion and experience. I was a raving looney at 3 months. Didn't have support other than my blessed handyman, didn't have this site. If you are not raving and psychotic, you're probably beginning to heal. But you may not feel better for a while. Effexor is similar to Paxil but not exactly the same, so I don't know as much about it.I do hope you can find symptomatic relief, achieve some sleep, and find many reasons to endure the withdrawal until your windows start opening. wc 2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink. 2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ... Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures. 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years. I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body. 2015: I began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning. I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral. And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up. In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body. Link to comment
Britt Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 Thanks again ! It scares me everybody haves Windows and waves and i feel bad all the time ! I am so scared that this is my mental state ! 15 + years every 3 weeks 10% taper hit zero 25-10-2014 when i started the taper 2 years ago i was taking paxil each other day for almost 2 years i got depression and it never left and i never stabelised when i was did my taper feeling very bad now and dont now what to do depression left a little when i switched to imipramine 75 mg but dont feel stable at all Link to comment
Britt Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 Can people with an anxiety disorde also live wthout paxil ? I am so anxious that this lasts forever !! I am so anxious and cant stop thinking its so scared ! I dont have Windows so i think that theres something else wrong with me ! 15 + years every 3 weeks 10% taper hit zero 25-10-2014 when i started the taper 2 years ago i was taking paxil each other day for almost 2 years i got depression and it never left and i never stabelised when i was did my taper feeling very bad now and dont now what to do depression left a little when i switched to imipramine 75 mg but dont feel stable at all Link to comment
Frustrated Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 taking Paxil every other day was likely hard on your poor brain and you just finished your taper. Maybe that is why you haven't felt like you have had windows. Every other day would be inconsistent dosing. It may take some time before you notice windows. There is NOTHING wrong with you. I am seven months off Paxil, and reinstated 1 mg, at 5 months off, and I have only had a couple of windows and only recently, so please just hang on and I am sure you will feel windows eventually. 2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale..6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th).4mg(April 27th).2 (June 27th) 0mg. done taper at beginning of August. Link to comment
Britt Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 Thank you frustrated that gives hope ! I Reinstated 2 mg ! I hope so for all of us that thus hel will stop soon ! X 15 + years every 3 weeks 10% taper hit zero 25-10-2014 when i started the taper 2 years ago i was taking paxil each other day for almost 2 years i got depression and it never left and i never stabelised when i was did my taper feeling very bad now and dont now what to do depression left a little when i switched to imipramine 75 mg but dont feel stable at all Link to comment
Britt Posted February 3, 2015 Author Share Posted February 3, 2015 Went to the psychiatrist today with my mother and i asked him about withdrawel he said its impossible to have withdrawel symptoms after 3 months off ! It is so frustrated because i am telling my mom so much what is on this site and then someone else says no withdrawel is impossible !!! 15 + years every 3 weeks 10% taper hit zero 25-10-2014 when i started the taper 2 years ago i was taking paxil each other day for almost 2 years i got depression and it never left and i never stabelised when i was did my taper feeling very bad now and dont now what to do depression left a little when i switched to imipramine 75 mg but dont feel stable at all Link to comment
Britt Posted February 3, 2015 Author Share Posted February 3, 2015 I have read the withdrawel facts from david healy and he also says that withdrawel symptoms must be over within weeks or months ! Why are the people here suffering so much its not fair !!! Wil it ever be better ? 15 + years every 3 weeks 10% taper hit zero 25-10-2014 when i started the taper 2 years ago i was taking paxil each other day for almost 2 years i got depression and it never left and i never stabelised when i was did my taper feeling very bad now and dont now what to do depression left a little when i switched to imipramine 75 mg but dont feel stable at all Link to comment
Britt Posted February 3, 2015 Author Share Posted February 3, 2015 Maybe i hoped for something that is never going to happen i have read something from dr shipko that if you wete taking an ssri for more than 10 years we will almost never recover ! What do you think ? 15 + years every 3 weeks 10% taper hit zero 25-10-2014 when i started the taper 2 years ago i was taking paxil each other day for almost 2 years i got depression and it never left and i never stabelised when i was did my taper feeling very bad now and dont now what to do depression left a little when i switched to imipramine 75 mg but dont feel stable at all Link to comment
nz11 Posted February 3, 2015 Share Posted February 3, 2015 Hi Britt , I cant help myself i just have to comment. Its not easy going a day without posting. Look i wasn't on paxil for 15 yrs so i cant claim to know what it is like for you. However i was on for 10 yrs and i did a 9 month taper in which i broke every rule in the taper book . What do you expect from someone whose doctor said come off slowly and sent me on my way. I had no idea no idea what i was heading into. Personally imo you do not have ADD (whatever that is), or ADHD, or ABCD for that matter or anything else what you have is ssri wdl from 15 yrs use and a too fast taper ....thats right 17 months is too fast. This is not a mental condition this is not depression it is ssri wdl despite what your clueless doctors say. You tapered you said over 17 months yet 10% per month is what is rec so you should have done a 30 month taper. In fact imo i have seen many with a 15 yr use struggle with 10% taper even and have to go to 5%. Thats right we are talking big timeframes here because pharma have taken addiction to a whole new level and lied about it. As such pharma indoctrinated doctors are clueless. So they will not give you any info on this because the people feeding them info are lying! I cant recall Shipko saying some people never recover ...i would like to see it if you have a link. I do have some shipko statements in my link below you may be interested in. I am very concerned that you are updosing first taking 1.5 and now 2.0mg. Reinstatement is one thing in this world that is capable of breaking the laws of gravity and it is a very slippery slope up. You did a better than most taper believe me i would have been tempted to hunker down in the trenches and just concentrate on surviving the next 2 years drug free. Yes i guess you have a child to look after but that could be a good distraction from wdl. Draw a line in the sand and say no more updoses. Look i was a nonfunctional human for 2 years after getting off paxil. Thats right 2 years and the 3rd wasnt much better either if i stop and reflect on it. I took my brothers share market trading advise and applied it to drugs ...'its far better to be out wishing you were in than in wishing you were out.' So you are not alone its not like you are the only one who as ever suffered this. I just finished a post on recovery time-frames you might like to have a read ...i'll go and get it hold on... ok here is the link ...print out the first article and read it highlight bits that have hope and pin it too the wall and keep referring to it. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7571-nz11-climbs-onboard/?p=124382 and here is a bit i forgot to include ....recovery for many takes years we are not talking months here its an eyeopener isnt it but thats the truth. Recovery Time-frames post ....further info This was given to me by a member in another site in March 2013. Light – 17 years on various drugs – last six years of them polydrugged – 10 years off now 70% recovered. Musicman – 12 years on paxil, also on steroids for 11 years. 10 years off still bad, but akathisia resolved and other problems getting better finally. Healing – 12 years on antidepressants – 9 years off slowly getting better, mostly recovered. Squirrel – 8 years on – 9 years off, mostly recovered, still has very mild DR/DP slight dizziness from time to time, anxiety and sinus problems. Nothing major. Tryingtogetwell –8 years off, recovered at 7 years off Alto – 10 years off – recovered, has minor sleep issues. Please consider not updosing anymore. Look i was still wanting to ri at 14 months off .....but i didnt i kept on swimming to the mainland despite some real ugly looking sharks on the way. I am learning nerves take a long time to heal . This time last year i fell off the roof of my house ...i am lucky i didnt die but i snapped my collar bone in two...in doing so my body weight and bone must have smashed into a nerve that goes into in my arm, 1 year later my body has recovered and the bone has rejoined and healed but i am still having nerve tingling and numbness in two fingers its as if i am permanently expereincing the effects of hitting my elbow funny bone nerve ....the volume has gone done a lot from when it occured but i am still aware of it even as i type now ...it is healing but taking a long time. We have chemically insulted our nerves by dropping them from a big height . Try not to despair if you read the link you sill see it is normal for wdl to go on for some for years. In iggys list i calc the average recovery time drug free was about 3.3 yrs from memory or there about . "Maybe i hoped for something that is never going to happen i have read something from dr shipko that if you wete taking an ssri for more than 10 years we will almost never recover ! What do you think ?" Yes me i was on for 10 and i am recovering albeit slowly some parts of me havent started to recover yet and i am not holding my breath. I think Shipko is not saying this thats what i think. Wishing you stability. Thought for the day: Lets stand up, and let’s speak out , together. G Olsen We have until the 14th. Feb 2018. URGENT REQUEST Please consider submitting for the petition on Prescribed Drug Dependence and Withdrawal currently awaiting its third consideration at the Scottish Parliament. You don't even have to be from Scotland. By clicking on the link below you can read some of the previous submissions but be warned many of them are quite harrowing. http://www.parliament.scot/GettingInvolved/Petitions/PE01651 Please tell them about your problems taking and withdrawing from antidepressants and/or benzos. Send by email to petitions@parliament.scot and quote PE01651 in the subject heading. Keep to a maximum of 3 sides of A4 and you can't name for legal reasons any doctor you have consulted. Tell them if you wish to remain anonymous. We need the numbers to help convince the committee members we are not isolated cases. You have until mid February. Thank you Recovering paxil addict None of the published articles shed light on what ssri's ... actually do or what their hazards might be. Healy 2013. This is so true, with anything you get on these drugs, dependance, tapering, withdrawal symptoms, side effects, just silent. And if there is something mentioned then their is a serious disconnect between what is said and reality! "Every time I read of a multi-person shooting, I always presume that person had just started a SSRI or had just stopped." Dr Mosher. Me too! Over two decades later, the number of antidepressant prescriptions a year is slightly more than the number of people in the Western world. Most (nine out of 10) prescriptions are for patients who faced difficulties on stopping, equating to about a tenth of the population. These patients are often advised to continue treatment because their difficulties indicate they need ongoing treatment, just as a person with diabetes needs insulin. Healy 2015 I believe the ssri era will soon stand as one of the most shameful in the history of medicine. Healy 2015 Let people help people ... in a natural, kind, non-addictive (and non-big pharma) way. J Broadley 2017 Link to comment
Britt Posted February 3, 2015 Author Share Posted February 3, 2015 Thanks nz11 you give me hope ! And i am crying that you took the time to answer my question ! I am so scared to fall into a deep depression ! Most people from above did recover 7,8,9 years off i cant go on like this for that long ! I cant handle live like this ????! I am happy for you that you are feeling so much better ! Xx 15 + years every 3 weeks 10% taper hit zero 25-10-2014 when i started the taper 2 years ago i was taking paxil each other day for almost 2 years i got depression and it never left and i never stabelised when i was did my taper feeling very bad now and dont now what to do depression left a little when i switched to imipramine 75 mg but dont feel stable at all Link to comment
Britt Posted February 3, 2015 Author Share Posted February 3, 2015 Is it allowed to take melatonin for sleep ? 15 + years every 3 weeks 10% taper hit zero 25-10-2014 when i started the taper 2 years ago i was taking paxil each other day for almost 2 years i got depression and it never left and i never stabelised when i was did my taper feeling very bad now and dont now what to do depression left a little when i switched to imipramine 75 mg but dont feel stable at all Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Rhiannon Posted February 4, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 4, 2015 Britt, I haven't had time to really read all the way through your thread, but I think I can address your most recent questions with what's in your sig line. I've been on these forums for five years now, ten to twenty-five hours a week, so I've seen hundreds of cases, and I can tell you, what you are experiencing is sadly pretty normal. Have you had the chance to read Anatomy of an Epidemic yet (author Robert Whitaker)? It will help you understand why doctors don't know anything about this. No studies have been done on the long term outcomes of these drugs. NONE. There are no studies at all, not a single one, on what happens to someone coming off Paxil after more than a year or two. So anyone who tells you that what you are experiencing doesn't happen, has nothing at all to base that on except superstition and belief based on nothing solid. And if they give you a hard time about it, ask them to cite the studies that prove that you're wrong. Ask them to find studies that show that someone will be just fine quitting Paxil after 15 years and will not have delayed withdrawal. They can't. The only real cumulative data we have or the closest thing we have to that is the collection of case studies on this forum and others like them. After 15 years on a drug like this, two years to come off isn't long, and you did every other day dosing which is problematic, and you've jumped all the way off just three months ago. And I have a hunch you probably came off the last few milligrams too fast (almost everyone does, the last couple milligrams are actually the trickiest). I don't think it's at all surprising that you're still suffering. That is VERY normal. What would be surprising would be if you were NOT having problems. It sounds like you have recently reinstated to 2 mg. There's nothing wrong with that and it will probably help. But now you need to not change anything else, drug wise. You need to give your nervous system time to heal itself. Any more changes now are just going to destabilize you further and make things harder. What your nervous system needs now is stability. The overall time frame for someone with a history like yours is typically something like a couple of bumpy years, followed by a year or two when things are distinctly and steadily improving back to a satisfactory baseline. There's no guarantee, of course, but that's what seems to be typical. A few rare cases take five years or longer to get back to full health, but most folks are very much better by three. Hope that answers your questions some, I have to go now. Best of luck to you. Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010. Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea. Feb 15 2010: 300 mg Neurontin 200 Lamictal 10 Celexa 0.65 Xanax and 5 mg Ambien Feb 10 2014: 62 Lamictal 1.1 Celexa 0.135 Xanax 1.8 Valium Feb 10 2015: 50 Lamictal 0.875 Celexa 0.11 Xanax 1.5 Valium Feb 15 2016: 47.5 Lamictal 0.75 Celexa 0.0875 Xanax 1.42 Valium 2/12/20 12 0.045 0.007 1 May 2021 7 0.01 0.0037 1 Feb 2022 6 0!!! 0.00167 0.98 2.5 mg Ambien Oct 2022 4.5 mg Lamictal (off Celexa, off Xanax) 0.95 Valium Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Rhiannon Posted February 4, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 4, 2015 There's extensive discussion of Shipko elsewhere in the forum, I'm not sure, do a Google search "surviving antidepressants Shipko." Check it out, there's more to the story. Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010. Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea. Feb 15 2010: 300 mg Neurontin 200 Lamictal 10 Celexa 0.65 Xanax and 5 mg Ambien Feb 10 2014: 62 Lamictal 1.1 Celexa 0.135 Xanax 1.8 Valium Feb 10 2015: 50 Lamictal 0.875 Celexa 0.11 Xanax 1.5 Valium Feb 15 2016: 47.5 Lamictal 0.75 Celexa 0.0875 Xanax 1.42 Valium 2/12/20 12 0.045 0.007 1 May 2021 7 0.01 0.0037 1 Feb 2022 6 0!!! 0.00167 0.98 2.5 mg Ambien Oct 2022 4.5 mg Lamictal (off Celexa, off Xanax) 0.95 Valium Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion. Link to comment
westcoast Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 Hi Britt, so sorry to hear of your suffering. I think it was Dr. Peter Breggin, not Dr. Shipko, who said some people never recover. I could be wrong, though. In any case, no one really knows because it has not been studied with rigor--yet. But remember that not all people come here for advice and support on survivingantidepressants.com, and thus lack the tools that help at least some of us. I started doing better after adding the supplements listed in my sig. 2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink. 2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ... Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures. 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years. I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body. 2015: I began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning. I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral. And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up. In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body. Link to comment
Britt Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 I cant handle this anymore i want to Reinstate more what to do ? 15 + years every 3 weeks 10% taper hit zero 25-10-2014 when i started the taper 2 years ago i was taking paxil each other day for almost 2 years i got depression and it never left and i never stabelised when i was did my taper feeling very bad now and dont now what to do depression left a little when i switched to imipramine 75 mg but dont feel stable at all Link to comment
Britt Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 I reinstated 5 mg sorry i had such strange thoughts not suïcidaal but racing thought coud not stop my mind 2 hours sleep anxiety and no Windows i hope this will help and if its helps a ultra slow taper for 3 or 4 years ! Xx 15 + years every 3 weeks 10% taper hit zero 25-10-2014 when i started the taper 2 years ago i was taking paxil each other day for almost 2 years i got depression and it never left and i never stabelised when i was did my taper feeling very bad now and dont now what to do depression left a little when i switched to imipramine 75 mg but dont feel stable at all Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted February 7, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 7, 2015 I took 1,5 liquid paxil this morning ... I Reinstated 2 mg !... I reinstated 5 mg ... Britt, you are not giving it enough time to see if reinstatement is going to help. How long should you give reinstatement? It takes at least 4 days for your body to fully register the addition of a neuroactive drug. Unless you have an immediate bad reaction, observe your symptom pattern for about a week to see if the reinstatement is helping. If you have an immediate bad reaction, reduce or stop taking the drug. After reinstatement, the amount of time needed to alleviate withdrawal symptoms (stabilizing) varies according to the individual. Relief can be felt immediately, after some weeks, or after some months. Once you feel withdrawal symptoms are reduced after reinstatement, give your nervous system time to stabilize before attempting dosage reduction. Think in terms of months, not days. Be patient after you reinstate. Reinstatement may not immediately eliminate all withdrawal symptoms. You may still experience waves of symptoms, which usually lessen as time goes on. The dose needed for effective reinstatement varies according to the individual. About reinstating and stabilizing to stop withdrawal symptoms It sounds like you have recently reinstated to 2 mg. There's nothing wrong with that and it will probably help. But now you need to not change anything else, drug wise. You need to give your nervous system time to heal itself. Any more changes now are just going to destabilize you further and make things harder. What your nervous system needs now is stability. Please give yourself some time to try and stabilize now, if you keep changing dose before giving your nervous system time to adjust, you will keep making things worse. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
Britt Posted February 8, 2015 Author Share Posted February 8, 2015 Thank you petunia ! I had to do something i am in crisis with my boyfriend after my depression 2 years ago and the tapering till now i stil feel so bad and i takes so long nobody believes me anymore that it is withdrawel they are saying you did a slow taper you cant be this sick you need antidepressants ! I i also have a daugther and i am scared rat i can not take care of her anymore ! What if Reinstating does not work ? What options do i have ? 15 + years every 3 weeks 10% taper hit zero 25-10-2014 when i started the taper 2 years ago i was taking paxil each other day for almost 2 years i got depression and it never left and i never stabelised when i was did my taper feeling very bad now and dont now what to do depression left a little when i switched to imipramine 75 mg but dont feel stable at all Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted February 9, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 9, 2015 Britt, perhaps you could try some sleep hypnosis to help you calm your thoughts and perhaps get more sleep. I use some of the many free videos on Jody Whiteley's youtube channel. Some of them last as long as 8 hours, so you can listen to them all night. Some people use sleep hypnosis apps on their phone. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
westcoast Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 Hi Britt. It's awful that some of our friends and family don't understand that withdrawal can be protracted. It's very real, and I am glad you have come to this site to find fellowship and advice. It would be very hard for me to be raising a child during all this. It's hard enough to take proper care of my dogs (3). But other people can be a blessing in disguise. I hope your child believes in the REAL you. You must be a good and loving parent to come to this site, share what you are experiencing, and seek help. 2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink. 2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ... Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures. 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years. I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body. 2015: I began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning. I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral. And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up. In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body. Link to comment
Britt Posted February 10, 2015 Author Share Posted February 10, 2015 Thank you soooo much Westcoast and petunia so nice to hear ! I hope we can al life paxil or ad free Some day !!! 15 + years every 3 weeks 10% taper hit zero 25-10-2014 when i started the taper 2 years ago i was taking paxil each other day for almost 2 years i got depression and it never left and i never stabelised when i was did my taper feeling very bad now and dont now what to do depression left a little when i switched to imipramine 75 mg but dont feel stable at all Link to comment
Britt Posted February 10, 2015 Author Share Posted February 10, 2015 I hope that it is possible to live without medication ! For all of us ! I hope we can live normal lives without drugs and when i got add i hope i dont need medication ! Live is so rough and people who dont have mental problems are blessed ! 15 + years every 3 weeks 10% taper hit zero 25-10-2014 when i started the taper 2 years ago i was taking paxil each other day for almost 2 years i got depression and it never left and i never stabelised when i was did my taper feeling very bad now and dont now what to do depression left a little when i switched to imipramine 75 mg but dont feel stable at all Link to comment
westcoast Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Live is so rough and people who dont have mental problems are blessed ! There is a song by The Eagles called Crawling from the Wreckage. We just have to crawl until we can stand upright, then walk. Trying to get some distance from the wrecks I caused while crazed in withdrawal. One day at a time, darn it! 2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink. 2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ... Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures. 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years. I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body. 2015: I began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning. I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral. And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up. In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body. Link to comment
Pugknows Posted February 10, 2015 Share Posted February 10, 2015 Just b-r-e-a-t-h-e, Britt. I'm praying for you. You are feeling awful, which is scaring you, and your fear is magnifying your symptoms. Let everything just wash over you. Sit quietly alone. Take a warm bath of Epsom Salts. You will be fine. The calmer you stay, the better you'll feel. Don't fight your present condition. It just makes things seem bigger and worse than they really are. You are going to heal and be content and feel joy. January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime. Link to comment
Britt Posted February 12, 2015 Author Share Posted February 12, 2015 Please help me i am having Major depression all i can do is lay in bed thinking the worst i go for a walk and eat in de evening ! What if the depression never goes away ? Should i reinstate more ? Maybe i cant live without paxil ? I am so desperate !!!!! 15 + years every 3 weeks 10% taper hit zero 25-10-2014 when i started the taper 2 years ago i was taking paxil each other day for almost 2 years i got depression and it never left and i never stabelised when i was did my taper feeling very bad now and dont now what to do depression left a little when i switched to imipramine 75 mg but dont feel stable at all Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted February 12, 2015 Moderator Share Posted February 12, 2015 Hang in there Britt- you're getting hit with a really bad wave, let it wash over you and roll on past. Even if it seem absolutely pointless get out of bed and do something, anything to take your mind off of the "what if's" and "should I's". The best thing you can do right is distraction, while you let it pass. Which it will. (((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))) 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
westcoast Posted February 13, 2015 Share Posted February 13, 2015 Britt, there is advice on this site about reinstatement. It generally seems to work only if done early in withdrawal. It looks like you have been off Paxil for about four months, which is around the time that they say reinstatement stops being a good option. I think you would do well to investigate this if you are feeling suicidal or desperate. However I am not an expert. I hope you check out the information here about reinstating, which might help you make a decision. I sure wish I had some kind of drug option at this point, but for me, taking another antidepressant would be a bit like playing Russian Roulette. I hate to admit that I wish a drug could fix me, as that idea is what got many of us here in the first place. But it is so hard to run my life, my household, my business, and everything else, that I fantasize about magic pills...something that would make me want to do anything but lose consciousness. 2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink. 2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ... Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures. 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years. I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body. 2015: I began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning. I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral. And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up. In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus mammaP Posted February 14, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 14, 2015 It can take a while to stabilise, but you will stabilise eventually Britt. It will get better. Do what you can to get through each day, I know you feel like you are not caring for your child properly but I am sure that you are doing everything you can to be the best mother possible in these circumstances. Having little ones to care for seems like a huge responsibility but they can get us through some dark days when it seems the sun will never shine for us again! Keep things stable and get through each day, one day at a time, one hour if need be. Mamma hugs. **I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge. Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem) 1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat 2002 effexor. Tapered March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads. Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013 Restarted taper Nov 2013 OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015 Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014 Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg July 2017 30mg. May 15 2018 25mg Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33 Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible Link to comment
Britt Posted February 15, 2015 Author Share Posted February 15, 2015 Thanks brass Westcoast and mamap ! I really think i have add and thats why i cant live without medication ! And what most scares me is that its genetic and my daugther wil have the same live like me on medication because add is in the brain and you need medication to live with add ???? 15 + years every 3 weeks 10% taper hit zero 25-10-2014 when i started the taper 2 years ago i was taking paxil each other day for almost 2 years i got depression and it never left and i never stabelised when i was did my taper feeling very bad now and dont now what to do depression left a little when i switched to imipramine 75 mg but dont feel stable at all Link to comment
westcoast Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 I don't know if you need medication to live with ADD. The doctor who started it all has said that he thinks it was over-diagnosed. The drugs for ADHD are based on methamphetamine and Dexedrine. They are addicting. In my case, I took them while still messed up by polypharma, and basically went crazy. I mean I was starving and dehydrated and acting badly enough to draw the police twice. So do proceed with caution if you are interested in being medicated for ADHD. The akathisia many of us have experienced in withdrawal from antidepressants can be confused with ADHD, too, so that is another reason to worry about ADHD meds. Akathisia and speedy drugs seem like a bad combo. For me the ADHD drugs induced near-panic. My then-doctor said to take more....I did, and it was very very costly to all aspects of my life. I am paying everyday, forever, with the loss of business assets and the income I used to have being cut by about 80%. I was only on them for a few months. They gave me visual hallucinations, among other things. I thought my dogs were demons and locked them out of my room one day. I don't mean to be overly scary and negative, but those were my experiences. And about the original doctor. He is discussed elsewhere on this site. And here is a link, which discusses the controversy over what that doctor said or didn't say about ADHD: http://www.snopes.com/politics/quotes/adhd.asp 2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink. 2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ... Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures. 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years. I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body. 2015: I began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning. I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral. And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up. In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body. Link to comment
westcoast Posted February 15, 2015 Share Posted February 15, 2015 I meant to also say that as an alternative to medicating ADHD, changes in your work or even your expectations of yourself at present might work just as well. I am pretty sure I wasn't meant for many kinds of work, but I thrived in web development, especially with live news type sites, because it involved solving interesting problems quickly all day long. When I was a psychology researcher I was bored to the point of depression because everything took months to yield results. 2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink. 2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ... Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures. 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years. I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body. 2015: I began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning. I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral. And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up. In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body. Link to comment
Britt Posted February 17, 2015 Author Share Posted February 17, 2015 I have limbic add and the only thing that helps is an Antidepressant with that bosst the serotonine ! I am desperate ! 15 + years every 3 weeks 10% taper hit zero 25-10-2014 when i started the taper 2 years ago i was taking paxil each other day for almost 2 years i got depression and it never left and i never stabelised when i was did my taper feeling very bad now and dont now what to do depression left a little when i switched to imipramine 75 mg but dont feel stable at all Link to comment
westcoast Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 I had never heard of limbic ADD. Reading about it now. 2009: Cancer hospital said I had adjustment disorder because I thought they were doing it wrong. Their headshrinker prescribed Effexor, and my life set on a new course. I didn't know what was ahead, like a passenger on Disneyland's Matterhorn, smiling and waving as it climbs...clink, clink, clink. 2010: Post surgical accidental Effexor discontinuation by nurses, masked by intravenous Dilaudid. (The car is balanced at the top of the track.) I get home, pop a Vicodin, and ... Whooosh...down, down, down, down, down...goes the trajectory of my life, up goes my mood and tendency to think everything is a good idea.2012: After the bipolar jig was up, now a walking bag of unrelated symptoms, I went crazy on Daytrana (the Ritalin skin patch by Noven), because ADHD was a perfect fit for a bag of unrelated symptoms. I was prescribed Effexor for the nervousness of it, and things got neurological. An EEG showed enough activity to warrant an epilepsy diagnosis rather than non-epileptic ("psychogenic") seizures. 2013-2014: Quit everything and got worse. I probably went through DAWS: dopamine agonist withdrawal syndrome. I drank to not feel, but I felt a lot: dread, fear, regret, grief: an utter sense of total loss of everything worth breathing about, for almost two years. I was not suicidal but I wanted to be dead, at least dead to the experience of my own brain and body. 2015: I began to recover after adding virgin coconut oil and organic grass-fed fed butter to a cup of instant coffee in the morning. I did it hoping for mental acuity and better memory. After ten days of that, I was much better, mood-wise. Approximately neutral. And, I experienced drowsiness. I could sleep. Not exactly happy, I did 30 days on Wellbutrin, because it had done me no harm in the past. I don't have the DAWS mood or state of mind. It never feel like doing anything if it means standing up. In fact, I don't especially like moving. I'm a brain with a beanbag body. Link to comment
Britt Posted September 3, 2015 Author Share Posted September 3, 2015 I have a question because i am worried i tapered paxil slowly in 1,5 years after use of almost 20 years then started again first 10 mg then 20 mg because of severe depression which i got (i think) from taking 20 mg each other day for more than a year ! The doc switched me to from paxil to imipramine in 4 days ! Now after 4 months i am still not feeling like i felt with paxil could it be withdrawel ? Can i take that long ? I am on 75 mg imipramine what should i do go back on paxil or shall i wait for a couple of months more ? Xx 15 + years every 3 weeks 10% taper hit zero 25-10-2014 when i started the taper 2 years ago i was taking paxil each other day for almost 2 years i got depression and it never left and i never stabelised when i was did my taper feeling very bad now and dont now what to do depression left a little when i switched to imipramine 75 mg but dont feel stable at all Link to comment
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