ikam Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 What makes us humans is the ability to recognise feelings, thoughts, even strong urges and still dont act on them. I hear, and this is what I am trying to do, that mindful observing but not engaging with the urges brings relief...the thoughts are like clouds on a sky, come and go...we only sometimes get stuck on something... I have a good meditation cds that I have been listening to every evening for more than two years now. I try to observe my thoughts and the way I breathe...sometimes it does not work and I engage in my emotions... I used to think that I wanted to be dead. And in the time of stress I still have these thoughts. But I know I will never act on them... I constantly choose to survive...what is your choice? - 12.03.2021- doxepin- 50mg - 6.11.2020- 75mg - 16.10.2020- 100mg - 30.09.2020- doxepin- 125mg - May 2020, omeprazole 40mg switched to esomeprazole 20mg - 2012 re-started Doxepin 75mg, evening. Increased to 150mg - 2012, Atenolol 25mg, twice a day - 2016, Low dose of HRT in evening, Sandrena and Utrogestan - Long term of Nasal spray Otrivine - 2012, PPI Omeprazole 40mg-evening 24.10.2014- Started ESCITALOPRAM-first 5mg and then 10mg; due to the adverse symptoms reduced on 5.01.2015- Escitalopram- 2.5mg 22.07.2016- re-started reduction by 1% at a time. Completed tappering on 19.03.2020 😇 Link to comment
luv2knit Posted December 27, 2014 Share Posted December 27, 2014 Understand... And no, you don't whine. I keep a handwritten journal for the same reason. If you want to see whining, you should see that! Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day). Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired) Link to comment
Frustrated Posted December 28, 2014 Author Share Posted December 28, 2014 Haha i am sure your journal is very helpful to you. You can see where your waves are based on the degree of whining lol. I am sure I will be whining tomorrow. I was out for hours today getting zoey's tooth fixed and grabbing groceries. Then I felt so bad for myself I ate chocolate when I got home to finally sit. I will likely be paying for all of that tomorrow. The chocolate was my fault but the rest couldn't be avoided. 2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale..6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th).4mg(April 27th).2 (June 27th) 0mg. done taper at beginning of August. Link to comment
Lookingforhope55 Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 All I can say is I hope you end up having a good day. Maybe something good will happen. Link to comment
luv2knit Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 Hopefully tomorrow won't be as bad as you fear. Prayers. Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day). Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired) Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 Hope u can just get a pass and no fall out from the crazy day!!! 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
Frustrated Posted December 28, 2014 Author Share Posted December 28, 2014 Thxx everyone! You are always so nice to me. 2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale..6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th).4mg(April 27th).2 (June 27th) 0mg. done taper at beginning of August. Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 You are always so nice to us 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted December 28, 2014 Share Posted December 28, 2014 Hope you ok today 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
Frustrated Posted December 28, 2014 Author Share Posted December 28, 2014 Thx for asking Joannad. I haven't been up long but I am not dying yet. Legs are sore and chest is tight. Head and sinuses are full and achy and so is my back and neck. They are all moderately bugging me right now. If they stay like this I will get through the day, but they usually don't. It feels nice that people care how I am doing. Thc for that. Noone in my house ever asks how I am except the little one. Yesterday at the dentist she is getting needles and horrid things and she says "Nana are your legs hurting?" She is 4. Bless her heart. My other three kids should be so considerate. 2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale..6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th).4mg(April 27th).2 (June 27th) 0mg. done taper at beginning of August. Link to comment
IndigoEarthling Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 Thx for asking Joannad. I haven't been up long but I am not dying yet. Legs are sore and chest is tight. Head and sinuses are full and achy and so is my back and neck. They are all moderately bugging me right now. If they stay like this I will get through the day, but they usually don't. It feels nice that people care how I am doing. Thc for that. Noone in my house ever asks how I am except the little one. Yesterday at the dentist she is getting needles and horrid things and she says "Nana are your legs hurting?" She is 4. Bless her heart. My other three kids should be so considerate. Silver star- I went cold turkey off citalopram and had been on lexapro prior for 10 years. I had TERRIBLE pain in my legs, arms and lower back. What really helped me is strength training and massaging my muscles. Its hard to get to a gym so what I did was whatever I could handle around the house- squats, toe raises on stairs and lunges. Anything that would make me mildly sore- I did that for about 2 weeks and the pain decreased dramatically. BTW- you are a WARRIOR for keeping at this. Sending you positive thoughts and hoping 2015 is better for you. Diagnosed bi-pollar II in 2003 at age 15. Lithium, lexapro and seroquel for the next 8 years, with occasional klonopin. Quit seroquel cold turkey in 2011. 1st unsuccessful attempt to stop ALL meds cold turkey- 2012 Switched to lithium, citalopram and adderall (only on adderall for a few weeks). Cold turkey off EVERYTHING Feb 2014. Previous symptoms; crying spells, suicidal depression and hopelessness (3 months). Frequent urination and chocolate, allergy medicine and food sensitivities (3 months). Body pain radiating through my spine, legs, arms and butt followed by muscle stiffness, weakness and tingling/loss of feeling (7 months). Brain zaps, head aches and intense depersonalization. Fight or flight upon waking and difficulty sleeping (2 months). Difficulty regulating body temperature-incredibly cold hands and feet (8 months). Diarrhea and difficulty eating (lost over 30 pounds). Acute and itchy acne? on my forehead, cheeks and chest (7 months). Current symptoms: anxiety, obsessive compulsions, feeling stuck/unable to act/shocked, pain along my spine, hair loss, easily stressed and overwhelmed, difficulty with social situations, generally moody. Link to comment
Frustrated Posted December 29, 2014 Author Share Posted December 29, 2014 I was just thinking about where I am in my withdrawals. In July I remember having the brain Zaps and dizziness and flu feelings. That passed but I started having chest pain and abdominal pain in August because I went to ER afraid and they checked my heart. I also felt like I couldn't take a decent in breath as well. Then the stomach pain hit and went through to my back and I was nauseous as heck. Could barely eat (about Sept). Lost 25 pounds. Leg pain and back pain getting worse. October the burning in my legs and feet starts. Wondering if it was fibro. Not putting it all together yet. Been to hospital a few times now cause I just can't breathe properly and everything hurts. Thinking if this is all fibromyalgia I am in trouble and will never have a life again. Found SA in NOvember. All the pieces are starting to fit together. OMG it is the PAXIL. This all started when I came off the Paxil at the end of JUNE. Looking back I had symptoms every month since I came off. The intrusive thoughts didn't begin until near the end of NOvember which caused me to reinstate 1.2 mg but it was causing headpain so I went down to about .9mg. Now I have: Chest pain, stomach pain, back pain, leg pain. foot pain, neck pain, burning and tingling in legs and feet as well as muscle spasms, nausea, brain fog, intrusive thoughts, although they have been less the last week or two, feeling low and hopeless which doesn't shock me with all these symptoms, occasional dizziness but not as bad as it was months ago, general blah feeling. I am sure there are others that I am not thinking about right now, but WOW what a ride. It has now been 6 months. I pray when I reevaluate in 2 months most of the current symtoms have subsided some. 2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale..6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th).4mg(April 27th).2 (June 27th) 0mg. done taper at beginning of August. Link to comment
luv2knit Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 I totally hear what you are saying. I have been off Zoloft since the end of July, and have had similar symptoms. In spite of all the pains, nausea, tinnitis, and vertigo, my most troubling symptom continues to be the akathisia. Symptoms I thought were gone have come back and left again, but the akathisia remains. It does vary in level of intensity. I too hope I can look back in a couple of months and see a significant change. I especially hope the akathisia will let up enough where I can be by myself for longer periods of time, and that my brain fog and vision will improve to the point that I can drive. Here's hoping for significant change for the better for everyone! Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day). Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired) Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 I have had some pretty scary symptoms. Some go and then come back. Silly me, I thought when they were gone, they were gone. Not! Right now I have insomnia, I'm at some level of hypomania, irritable, angry, twitching, burning, crawly, vibration sensations. Intrusive obsessive thoughts, severe food intolerances, acid reflux, urinary bladder problems, inability to handle any stress whatsoever, restlessness, oh! and just for sh*ts and giggles, my hair is falling out, I have bald spots at my temples and cystic acne. We all are having so much fun! 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
Frustrated Posted December 29, 2014 Author Share Posted December 29, 2014 JDM my hair has been faling out for years on and off the Paxil. I am close to bald on the top of my head. Doctor says nothing can be done just use rogaine. Friggin idiot! I would love a wig but they are expensive so I walk around half bald. Sometimes I hate my life. 2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale..6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th).4mg(April 27th).2 (June 27th) 0mg. done taper at beginning of August. Link to comment
Muddles Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 I lost so much hair!!! My hair is awful now - like straw! What is the acne like? I am covered in spots (which I have never had - even through puberty) that are under the skin. Does that sound like acne? 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 I lost so much hair!!! My hair is awful now - like straw! What is the acne like? I am covered in spots (which I have never had - even through puberty) that are under the skin. Does that sound like acne?Yes, that is acne... I have it all over my neck and chin, cysts under the skin and they hurt. Welcome to the club Muddles And I haven't had a haircut since March 2014. Becuase I can't manage to make myself. I have two inches of dead ends. I wear it in a bun, so no one can tell. It's really sexy with the baldness at my temples. 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 JDM my hair has been faling out for years on and off the Paxil. I am close to bald on the top of my head. Doctor says nothing can be done just use rogaine. Friggin idiot! I would love a wig but they are expensive so I walk around half bald. Sometimes I hate my life. This is pathetic. I Think I'm having male pattern baldness. 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
Cdav Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 Frustrated, I can relate to the leg pains and headaches you're having. It's really scary not knowing what is causing it, WD or reinstatement, or supplements or anything!!! I really admire you going through this with kids and so many responsibilities! I don't know how I would do that. I can barely take care of myself. I'm in an age where I would like to get married and have kids, but this WD condition and still not being able to get off completely of meds has stopped me from getting on with my life. I really hope you heal soon. You are truly a great example of strength and patience. -Effexor 150 mgs (2001-2009). Severe withdrawal symptoms during and after tapering for 6 months. -Pristiq 50 mg (2009-2012) Tapered over a year. Worst year of my life. -Prozac 20 mg (2012) Tapered over 6 moths to ease withdrawal. Still had severe WD symptoms. - (2012-2014) Doctor tried more than 20 medications for depression and WD, leaving me hypersensitive, and in protracted withdrawal. - Most debilitating symptoms during protracted withdrawal have been deep depression, anxiety, brain zaps, fatigue, akathisia, twitching, headaches and terrible PMS. -January 2015: Started Lamictal 12.5 mg, increased to 25 mg.- Bad reaction when updosed to 50 mg. Stopped. -February 2015: Doctor tried new antidepressant Brintellix - Horrible reaction. Discontinued completely. Severe AKATHISIA started. -March 2015: Started TMS therapy (Transcranial magnetic stimulation) for severe depression. Didn't work. -July 23-August 12: Had 10 ECT sessions which took away my protracted withdrawal symptoms including: akathisia, brain zaps, muscle twitches, fatigue and depression. Stopped medications. -September 2015: Experiencing bouts of depression again and muscle twitching. -March 2016: Started 20 mg Nortryptiline for depression. It helped. -August 2016: Slowly tapering Nortryptiline. Link to comment
Frustrated Posted December 29, 2014 Author Share Posted December 29, 2014 Frustrated, I can relate to the leg pains and headaches you're having. It's really scary not knowing what is causing it, WD or reinstatement, or supplements or anything!!! I really admire you going through this with kids and so many responsibilities! I don't know how I would do that. I can barely take care of myself. I'm in an age where I would like to get married and have kids, but this WD condition and still not being able to get off completely of meds has stopped me from getting on with my life. I really hope you heal soon. You are truly a great example of strength and patience. [/quote Thx alot. I appreciate that. I do not feel strong. I force myself to carry on because I have no choice. No one is going to help me so I have to somehow function. 2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale..6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th).4mg(April 27th).2 (June 27th) 0mg. done taper at beginning of August. Link to comment
luv2knit Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 OMGosh! You mean I'm not the only one who is losing hair?! The only reason I'm not bald is because I have tons to spare! I need (and want) to get mine cut too. I was long overdue for a cut before this started, and I cannot make myself do it now! Even at my age, I have always preferred my hair a little longer, but it is WAY too long now!! Ugh Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day). Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired) Link to comment
Frustrated Posted December 29, 2014 Author Share Posted December 29, 2014 Wouldn't do me well to get my hair cut. I have hardly none on top so the shorter I cut it the balder I will look. 2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale..6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th).4mg(April 27th).2 (June 27th) 0mg. done taper at beginning of August. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus mammaP Posted December 29, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 29, 2014 Another one here who can't bring myself to go for a haircut! Mine went very thin and coarse on effexor but got a bit better until recently and now it's falling out again. It's getting really long and doesn't look good at all! I relate to all the pain too, I was in severe pain for years and the doctors were talking about chronic fatigue and fibro. It all started to get better gradually as I tapered and it is much better now although still in a lot of pain with arthritis. I was bed ridden for quite a while and housebound for years, only going out about once every 2 weeks with my daughter to go shopping. It will get better, for everyone here. I am so much better than I was when I was before tapering, and the waves are getting much calmer now. I can say that it has got better for me, so much better than I could have imagined! **I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge. Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem) 1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat 2002 effexor. Tapered March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads. Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013 Restarted taper Nov 2013 OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015 Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014 Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg July 2017 30mg. May 15 2018 25mg Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33 Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible Link to comment
Frustrated Posted December 29, 2014 Author Share Posted December 29, 2014 It is nice to hear that you are so much better mammap. I already have the fibro label and I am on disability because of it. It gives me hope to know that you are living a much better life now with far less symptoms. Maybe I will someday have my life back and be able to give my children the mother they deserve. It makes me so sad that I have an applied sciences degree in child studies and devoted my early career to children and now cannot even give my own kids that same devotion and care. Ugh! 2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale..6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th).4mg(April 27th).2 (June 27th) 0mg. done taper at beginning of August. Link to comment
Muddles Posted December 29, 2014 Share Posted December 29, 2014 It is nice to hear that you are so much better mammap. I already have the fibro label and I am on disability because of it. It gives me hope to know that you are living a much better life now with far less symptoms. Maybe I will someday have my life back and be able to give my children the mother they deserve. It makes me so sad that I have an applied sciences degree in child studies and devoted my early career to children and now cannot even give my own kids that same devotion and care. Ugh!It breaks my heart to hear of mothers suffering the same guilt. It's not right is it?!!! It's not your fault though. I also had pain on the meds - I recently heard that somebody else had this problem on medication and the doctor diagnosed fibromyalgia. He researched and found out pain was a side effect and came off luckily. Unfortunately for me the pain is getting worse and not better. My friend has fibromyalgia and she says that I describe my symptoms to the exact symptoms she has ????. I obviously don't have it but I'm sure doctors would be quick to diagnose it if I let them. Has your fibromyalgia got worse in withdrawal? I read this and passed it on to my friend. These antidepressants shouldn't be given for fibromyalgia. Just more evidence that our doctors don't know just exactly what the hell they are giving out. http://lm.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Ft.co%2Fjz5C0nixzF&h=8AQFMOs8B&enc=AZNPg-6WnDJyxTxmtmvFjLCwqxNRJY8-bYD7HeeTigXIvY3gxaP12WkpAamm-4zktZ0&s=1 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Frustrated Posted December 29, 2014 Author Share Posted December 29, 2014 Oh ya the fibro is much worse. Some days I don't even want to use my legs. And the doc won't help because his idea of helping is putting me on anti depressants like amitriptyline or cymbalta. I suffer alot. I keep hoping when i reach the year mark my brain will be much better and the pain will lessen. Here's hoping I am right. 2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale..6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th).4mg(April 27th).2 (June 27th) 0mg. done taper at beginning of August. Link to comment
Lookingforhope55 Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 Hi Frustrated. I see you post a lot and hope you find some peace with no pain. That's all. Link to comment
Frustrated Posted December 30, 2014 Author Share Posted December 30, 2014 Hi Frustrated. I see you post a lot and hope you find some peace with no pain. That's all. Thx alot. You are too sweet. I wish only positive for you as well. 2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale..6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th).4mg(April 27th).2 (June 27th) 0mg. done taper at beginning of August. Link to comment
luv2knit Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 I too hope your pain will get better as time goes on, Frustrated. I've had a lot of pain (back, knee, and arm especially) in withdrawal that I have not had before, so hopefully much of yours is withdrawal too! Prayers! Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day). Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired) Link to comment
Frustrated Posted December 30, 2014 Author Share Posted December 30, 2014 thanx luv I hope so. I may have had fibro before the Paxil but nowhere near what is going on now. I think the withdrawals are compounding it. It is hard to sort it all out at this point. I had a bad flu when my 17 yr old daughter was a few months old and it just never went away. That is when the fibro started. Mostly diziness and weakness on one side of my body. Was tested for ms and had mri etc... A few years later I had my son and shortly after that I was put on amitriptyline for calf pain. So I had issues only a few years before the ADs started. NOW I have ALL sorts of issues and can't function so surely most of it is AD withrawals and a small portion is the original fibro. After 17 years I can't believe that the original fibro would be worse. It would likely be very manageable without all the ad s thrown in. 2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale..6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th).4mg(April 27th).2 (June 27th) 0mg. done taper at beginning of August. Link to comment
luv2knit Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 Hopefully it will be manageable again soon! I always assumed I had some degree of fibro, since it kind of goes along with CFS, but never really had many issues to speak of--mainly when I overdid the exercise. Was never actually diagnosed. I have a lot going on now. Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day). Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired) Link to comment
Frustrated Posted December 31, 2014 Author Share Posted December 31, 2014 Ugh back is really hurting today and trouble swallowing again. Feels like throat is swollen and have to concentrate to swallow. It comes and goes and I hate it. Scary. ENT doesn't see anything but post nasal drip. Must be WD symptom. Figures. Wish I could wake up and feel normal for one day. Need a break. Getting tired. Between the initial fibro and ssris for the last decade I have been dealing with some kind of issues for the last 17 yrs. 2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale..6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th).4mg(April 27th).2 (June 27th) 0mg. done taper at beginning of August. Link to comment
Ever Posted December 31, 2014 Share Posted December 31, 2014 Heya Frustrated! I haven't caught up with everything in your thread yet, but saw a few posts ago about hair falling out - just wanted to pop in and report that I have lost most of my hair several times now due to withdrawal. I didn't KNOW it was due to withdrawal until I found pp. The last time was last year after I'd been off paxil for nearly four months. Every time I got out of my chair at work I'd spend 5 minutes selotaping all the hair that had fallen in the last half hour or so. Was awful and the few strands that were left were incredibly dry and stalky and just horrible. Anyway, just want to report that my hair is fine again now. Not at thick as it was when I was young, but perfectly acceptable now - shiny and soft and I think it's getting thicker all the time. Just thought people might like to hear that. Lotslove Steeley - so sorry you're feeling sh*tty Put on Prothiaden for severe depression in 1989. Recovered. Prescribed Paxil for another bout of depression around 2000. Have been trying to taper ever since but always crash about 2 months after getting to zero. Because of the crashes, for years I thought that there was something wrong with me. Then found that the crashes were simply withdrawal. Now following a maximum of a 10% reduction every month or so and ready to slow down any time I feel any symptoms whatsoever. Feeling good:). 7th Jan 15 - 3.6mg 28th Jan 15 - 3.2mg Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Ugh back is really hurting today and trouble swallowing again. Feels like throat is swollen and have to concentrate to swallow. It comes and goes and I hate it. Scary. ENT doesn't see anything but post nasal drip. Must be WD symptom. Figures. Wish I could wake up and feel normal for one day. Need a break. Getting tired. Between the initial fibro and ssris for the last decade I have been dealing with some kind of issues for the last 17 yrs. I have the swallowing thing. It scares me too. Comes and goes. So sorry. 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
Micromonster Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 I can sympathise with the burning stomach, mines hurt for years, I've been told it's stress related, although I'm not convinced, there seems to be no rhyme or reason. Lots of water and nothing acidic is the usual drill when it gives me greif. paroxatine.30mg-98-14 (16years)/15mg March 14/15mg may 2014 every two days on docs advice, went nuts so went up to 10mg. Took 2months to stabilise.10mg July 2014-sept 2014 (6.9mg)tried WD at 10% every two weeks. went nuts, nearly left husband, cats and country.10mg sept-December 14/9mg Dec-Jan 15/8.5mg Jan-Feb 15/8mg Feb-March 15/7.5mg march 15/7mg march-present. By October, off meds and on ivf. 3 failed ivf and end of 11yr relationship.10mg/July 16- July 17/5mg Jan 18- july 18 0mg july- present. Really struggling Link to comment
Frustrated Posted January 1, 2015 Author Share Posted January 1, 2015 I can sympathise with the burning stomach, mines hurt for years, I've been told it's stress related, although I'm not convinced, there seems to be no rhyme or reason. Lots of water and nothing acidic is the usual drill when it gives me greif. Ya I think pop is the worst. I take low dose aspirin too which doesn't help. I had a clot in my leg a decade ago and been taking ever since. Sorry u are stuck with this horrid symptom too. Makes me right nauseous at times. 2002-put on amitryptiline for fibromyalgia. 10mg.2004-stopped abruptly. Didn't think it helped.2006 approx.-put on Paxil for mild anxiety 20 mg.2007 upped to 40 mg. not sure why.2011- tapered from 40 to 10. went nuts and went back to 20mg2014- tapered from 20mg to 0 from April to The end of June.current meds- Metformin(type 2 diabetic) and low dose aspirin.Take multi vitamin and vit b12, vit. D and magnesium. 5 months off Paxil. Still suffering.recently added 1.2mg of Paxil to alleviate withdrawals.(Nov 30)Dropped to .9mg because having symptoms from reinstatement.(dec 23)<p>taper to .76mg-.8mg (Feb 3) approx. weight .010 to about .008-.009 on scale..6mg (march 19th.) .5mg(April 19th).4mg(April 27th).2 (June 27th) 0mg. done taper at beginning of August. Link to comment
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