Zant808: 17+ years of psychiatric drugging

[Songbird]

19 minutes ago, Zant808 said:

 

My brain is really messed up and has no concept of a circadian rhythm. 

 

I have this from time to time as well - my body wants to sleep in the daytime and be awake at night.  I've seen other people here report similar issues, so it may be quite a common w/d thing.  Working on your computer all night doesn't sound ideal for sleep.  Do you use a blue light filter?  Blue light suppresses melatonin production.  I'm running a program called Iris on my PC which takes out a lot of the blue light.

[Zant808]

4/21/2018 - My emotional numbness is now starting to come and go in waves because of my low Depakote blood level.  I hope I don't start becoming hypomanic.

 

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 7 and 10 hours
Diet:  bottled water, cereal, milk, cheesesteak, potato salad, key lime pie, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers, apple snack bar, banana, applesauce
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  4 out of 10

2:00 AM - 450 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 5 of cutting to 450 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

[Zant808]

21 hours ago, Songbird said:

 

I have this from time to time as well - my body wants to sleep in the daytime and be awake at night.  I've seen other people here report similar issues, so it may be quite a common w/d thing.  Working on your computer all night doesn't sound ideal for sleep.  Do you use a blue light filter?  Blue light suppresses melatonin production.  I'm running a program called Iris on my PC which takes out a lot of the blue light.

 

I have f.lux installed which is supposed to work as a blue light filter.  All my mobile devices have Night Shift mode enabled as well.  I really can't do anything about working on the computer at night.  It's a good distraction from reality.  More importantly, it is the only way I can make money and in a way it's ideal because I can have total silence.  Plus, it's just how my brain/body has adjusted.  If I feel like I have to sleep, I don't fight it and I go ahead and do it.  That's what I was told to do anyhow because of my "bipolar" diagnosis so I don't go manic.

[Zant808]

4/22/2018 - My fears of hypomania have subsided as it seems like my emotions feel more normal.

 

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 7 and 10 hours
Diet:  bottled water, cereal, milk, chicken nuggets, macaroni and cheese, salad, key lime pie, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers, strawberry snack bar, applesauce
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  4 out of 10

11:30 PM - 450 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 6 of cutting to 450 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

[Songbird]

On 4/22/2018 at 9:25 PM, Zant808 said:

 

I have f.lux installed which is supposed to work as a blue light filter.  All my mobile devices have Night Shift mode enabled as well.  I really can't do anything about working on the computer at night.  It's a good distraction from reality.  More importantly, it is the only way I can make money and in a way it's ideal because I can have total silence.  Plus, it's just how my brain/body has adjusted.  If I feel like I have to sleep, I don't fight it and I go ahead and do it.  That's what I was told to do anyhow because of my "bipolar" diagnosis so I don't go manic.

 

Yes, f.lux is similar to Iris, taking most of the blue light out of the display.  Conventional "sleep hygiene" rules advocate a regular bedtime schedule, which is normally a good idea, but in w/d many things are not normal - I've found it best to let my body sleep when it wants to, even though sometimes this is at unusual times.  It looks like you're getting a reasonable amount of sleep, which is good.

[Zant808]

4/23/2018 - Nothing much to say today...

 

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 7 and 10 hours
Diet:  bottled water, cereal, milk, meatloaf, corn, mashed potatoes, salad, key lime pie, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers, strawberry snack bar, applesauce
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  4 out of 10

11:30 PM - 450 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 7 of cutting to 450 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

[Frogie]

18 hours ago, Zant808 said:

4/22/2018 - My fears of hypomania have subsided as it seems like my emotions feel more normal.

 

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 7 and 10 hours
Diet:  bottled water, cereal, milk, chicken nuggets, macaroni and cheese, salad, key lime pie, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers, strawberry snack bar, applesauce
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  4 out of 10

11:30 PM - 450 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 6 of cutting to 450 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

I'm glad to see your emotions feel more normal. 

 

Hope you are doing well.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

 

PS. I replied to the PM you sent me.

 

[Zant808]

4/24/2018 - I'm thinking about doing medical tourism in Canada or the UK.  Perhaps they can offer stem cell therapy, insomnia and PSSD treatment all for free instead of the USA where they don't take my health insurance for any of these things.

 

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 7 and 10 hours
Diet:  bottled water, cereal, milk, beef, jasmine rice, quinoa, salad, key lime pie, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers, strawberry snack bar, banana, applesauce
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  4 out of 10

11:30 PM - 450 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 8 of cutting to 450 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

[joy2730]

You are sleeping over 7 hours so do you have insomnia.  That sounds awful put so bluntly but I am unsure?

 

Joy 

[Zant808]

4/25/2018 - I feel like I'm always busy but I never really accomplish anything...

 

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 7 and 10 hours
Diet:  bottled water, cereal, milk, spaghetti and clam sauce, salad, chocolate donut, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers, strawberry snack bar, apples, banana, applesauce
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  4 out of 10

11:30 PM - 450 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 9 of cutting to 450 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
9:00 AM - attempt to sleep

[Zant808]

4/27/2018 - I skipped yesterday's entry.  Very busy day yesterday, today and also tomorrow.

 

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 7 and 10 hours
Diet:  bottled water, cereal, milk, skirt steak, black beans, asparagus, salad, chocolate donut, chocolate cookies, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers, strawberry snack bar, apples, applesauce
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  4 out of 10

12:30 AM - 450 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 11 of cutting to 450 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

[Zant808]

4/28/2018 - Very busy day today.  Surprisingly, I have no complaints for once.

 

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 7 and 10 hours
Diet:  bottled water, cereal, milk, filet mignon, mashed potatoes, brussels sprouts, scallops, red quinoa, bread, fried chicken, tofu taco, pork taco, lemonade, iced tea, chocolate ice cream, chocolate cake, chocolate cannolis, applesauce
Exercise:  walking
Quality of life:  4 out of 10

3:30 AM - 450 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 12 of cutting to 450 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

[Zant808]

4/29/2018 - Not so much a busy day as I could only just lay around watching TV.  I think my system was burned out for eating so much junk food yesterday.

 

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 7 and 10 hours
Diet:  bottled water, cereal, milk, ravioli, meatballs, garlic bread, chocolate brownies, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers, apples, applesauce
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  4 out of 10

11:30 PM - 450 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 13 of cutting to 450 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

[Zant808]

On 4/25/2018 at 8:19 AM, joy2730 said:

You are sleeping over 7 hours so do you have insomnia.  That sounds awful put so bluntly but I am unsure?

 

Joy 

 

Hey Joy,

 

I just kind of leave insomnia there because I know at some point I'm going to inexperience it again.  I think it's easier to leave insomnia there as a symptom instead of explaining how my circadian rhythm has been destroyed by the medications, I have to sleep at all sorts of random times for various intervals totally that 7 to 10 hour range and my sleep hasn't been restorative in over 20 years because Prozac destroyed my sleep way before I took the other 39 or so psych meds.

[joy2730]

That explains it - how awful - it is so hard to function without sleep 

 

Take care

 

Joy

[Zant808]

4/30/2018 - I forgot to take my 25 mg of Anafranil and I wound up having the most vivid dreams/nightmares I've ever experienced.  It was almost as frightening as when I first took Depakote many years ago and had an out of body experience.  I hope I don't skip any more pills by accident...

 

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 6 and 8 hours
Diet:  bottled water, cereal, milk, lots of tacos, chocolate donut, lemon cake, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers, apples, banana, applesauce
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  4 out of 10

11:30 PM - 450 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 14 of cutting to 450 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

[Carmie]

1 hour ago, Zant808 said:

4/30/2018 - I forgot to take my 25 mg of Anafranil and I wound up having the most vivid dreams/nightmares I've ever experienced.  It was almost as frightening as when I first took Depakote many years ago and had an out of body experience.  I hope I don't skip any more pills by accident...

 

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 6 and 8 hours
Diet:  bottled water, cereal, milk, lots of tacos, chocolate donut, lemon cake, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers, apples, banana, applesauce
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  4 out of 10

11:30 PM - 450 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 14 of cutting to 450 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

So sorry you accidentally skipped your dose Zant, 

 

our brains have troubke thinking straight so its easy it’s easy to do.

 

Maybe tick a calendar or journal every time u take your meds so you don’t miss any. Missing doses, or doubling up like I did one day recently, can play havoc on our systems n make withdrawals worse.

 

Thinking of you

 

 

[Zant808]

5/1/2018 - The vivid dreams/nightmares are less intense compared to yesterday.

 

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 6 and 8 hours
Diet:  bottled water, cereal, milk, hot dogs, macaroni salad, potato salad, chocolate donut, lemon cake, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers, apples, banana, applesauce
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  4 out of 10

11:30 PM - 450 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 15 of cutting to 450 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

[dj2010]

1 hour ago, Zant808 said:

5/1/2018 - The vivid dreams/nightmares are less intense compared to yesterday.

 

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 6 and 8 hours
Diet:  bottled water, cereal, milk, hot dogs, macaroni salad, potato salad, chocolate donut, lemon cake, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers, apples, banana, applesauce
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  4 out of 10

11:30 PM - 450 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 15 of cutting to 450 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

sorry to hear you are suffering, it looks like your diet could do with cleaning up, if you don't mind me asking how come you attempt to sleep at 8am? also might be worth trying to force a little exercise everyday, I think it is the most important thing for recovery,

 

i like your profile photo, I am currently playing the new zelda game

 

take care

[Skeeter]

Zant,

I am a bit like you with the sleep.  I sleep during the day.  I worked the night shift (or second shift- 3pm to 11pm main awake hours when on an 8 hour shift - but I usually worked 12 or 24 hour shifts) for far too many years, and it screwed up my sleep.  Did you know that it shows that people with our schedules tend to not live as long, but it only equals a few years, and they are just statistics, no solid numbers.  To be comfortable, for me, it is worth it.  I also agree with what the mods say about the circadian rhythm for MOST people, but know it does not work for every person.  If you eve wish, you can try to change your sleep slowly, starting by one hour a week, moving slowly, IMO is key.  I am not trying to get you to do anything you do not wish to do.  I am just offering info.  I understand that your sleep was ruined, and you seem to be getting great sleep right now, so I doubt changing it right now is a great idea.  Now if your body gives you clues that it is not happy with this sleep schedule anymore (sleeping later or getting tired earlier, go with it, but slowly), in that case, it might be worth a shot.  No pressure from me. If you ever do wish to slowly try to switch to a different sleep schedule, please ask.  We can offer some advice.  I only talked about such a slow switch, this is if you have unlimited time to switch your schedule, and are trying to avoid triggering insomnia, that was my main thought, if you want or need to change.  Now I had to switch to a day shift for about a year, and I was miserable, and barely slept, it was horrible, so please know, I get not switching your schedule.  My body just cannot take it, except for short periods. Vacations I can handle it, sort of, I move to a second schedule , awake about 3pm, instead of 9am to early eve, but I wake often with pain.

 

I do not quite agree with the above poster about FORCING exercise while in WD.  The choice of words may not have been what dj2010 may have meant, perhaps?  To me f"orcing exercise" means making yourself work out and raise your heartrate when you already feel like death, as shown by your 4/10 scale rating. When you feel this crappy from WD, raising your HR to me, is like working out when you have the flu, it just does not work.  In benzo WD, which happened after my doc switched 2mg Xanax (after dropping for 3 to 2mg in a month before), I was backed into a corner (forced to choose the best of 2 evils), and switched from the 2 mg of Xanax to what ended up being 15mg of Valium, less than half of the equivalent dose in one day, and it took me about 22 months to feel human again.

 

May I suggest this, and hope. perhaps this is what dj meant.  Some easy exercise/movements may do you good.  Taking a slow walk every day, or find a beginning yoga class on YouTube and doing only what you can. easy things like this, can be a good start. My experience is that if you force your heartrate to go up when you feel so insanely crappy (oh, and I have been through AD WD too, just before the benzo crises, and switched from AD to AD, sometime WD'ing first, sometimes just switching, and felt like crap so many times. and the same applied to me.  Please try to walk, get out in the sun even if just for a few minutes each day, to help your body produce vitamin D, and walk around the ward, or around your house (the outside) a few times, and try to build up from there (daily is good, or every other day, perhaps?).  If you have a treadmill. that will work, but take a leisurely stroll, because raising your heartrate for a sustained time when you have not exercised in quite a while can make you feel SO much worse, and make WD worse..  If you would like some more ideas on exercise to do at home, I am happy to offer more, on how I finally started to exercise myself hint, I started by marching in place 2-5 minutes the first day I restarted, just to judge how I would feel the next day ( the real first time I exercised, I really screwed up and, did far, far too much, and was in bed sick for several days).  Start with up to 5 minutes, and try adding 2 minutes a day, and see how you feel.  What do you think?  it is nice and slow, and is not too overwhelming for most.

 

Now to not forget your pills, my best friend is one of those 7 day pill dispensers.  You know at a glance if you took your meds or not, and I have a timer on my phone that goes off every day, and my forgotten doses are way down now.  Good Luck!  I do hope some of this information has been of help to you. Let me know if I can help you.

 

I hope you begin feeling better soon!

Skeeter

[dj2010]

2 hours ago, Skeeter said:

Zant,

I am a bit like you with the sleep.  I sleep during the day.  I worked the night shift (or second shift- 3pm to 11pm main awake hours when on an 8 hour shift - but I usually worked 12 or 24 hour shifts) for far too many years, and it screwed up my sleep.  Did you know that it shows that people with our schedules tend to not live as long, but it only equals a few years, and they are just statistics, no solid numbers.  To be comfortable, for me, it is worth it.  I also agree with what the mods say about the circadian rhythm for MOST people, but know it does not work for every person.  If you eve wish, you can try to change your sleep slowly, starting by one hour a week, moving slowly, IMO is key.  I am not trying to get you to do anything you do not wish to do.  I am just offering info.  I understand that your sleep was ruined, and you seem to be getting great sleep right now, so I doubt changing it right now is a great idea.  Now if your body gives you clues that it is not happy with this sleep schedule anymore (sleeping later or getting tired earlier, go with it, but slowly), in that case, it might be worth a shot.  No pressure from me. If you ever do wish to slowly try to switch to a different sleep schedule, please ask.  We can offer some advice.  I only talked about such a slow switch, this is if you have unlimited time to switch your schedule, and are trying to avoid triggering insomnia, that was my main thought, if you want or need to change.  Now I had to switch to a day shift for about a year, and I was miserable, and barely slept, it was horrible, so please know, I get not switching your schedule.  My body just cannot take it, except for short periods. Vacations I can handle it, sort of, I move to a second schedule , awake about 3pm, instead of 9am to early eve, but I wake often with pain.

 

I do not quite agree with the above poster about FORCING exercise while in WD.  The choice of words may not have been what dj2010 may have meant, perhaps?  To me f"orcing exercise" means making yourself work out and raise your heartrate when you already feel like death, as shown by your 4/10 scale rating. When you feel this crappy from WD, raising your HR to me, is like working out when you have the flu, it just does not work.  In benzo WD, which happened after my doc switched 2mg Xanax (after dropping for 3 to 2mg in a month before), I was backed into a corner (forced to choose the best of 2 evils), and switched from the 2 mg of Xanax to what ended up being 15mg of Valium, less than half of the equivalent dose in one day, and it took me about 22 months to feel human again.

 

May I suggest this, and hope. perhaps this is what dj meant.  Some easy exercise/movements may do you good.  Taking a slow walk every day, or find a beginning yoga class on YouTube and doing only what you can. easy things like this, can be a good start. My experience is that if you force your heartrate to go up when you feel so insanely crappy (oh, and I have been through AD WD too, just before the benzo crises, and switched from AD to AD, sometime WD'ing first, sometimes just switching, and felt like crap so many times. and the same applied to me.  Please try to walk, get out in the sun even if just for a few minutes each day, to help your body produce vitamin D, and walk around the ward, or around your house (the outside) a few times, and try to build up from there (daily is good, or every other day, perhaps?).  If you have a treadmill. that will work, but take a leisurely stroll, because raising your heartrate for a sustained time when you have not exercised in quite a while can make you feel SO much worse, and make WD worse..  If you would like some more ideas on exercise to do at home, I am happy to offer more, on how I finally started to exercise myself hint, I started by marching in place 2-5 minutes the first day I restarted, just to judge how I would feel the next day ( the real first time I exercised, I really screwed up and, did far, far too much, and was in bed sick for several days).  Start with up to 5 minutes, and try adding 2 minutes a day, and see how you feel.  What do you think?  it is nice and slow, and is not too overwhelming for most.

 

Now to not forget your pills, my best friend is one of those 7 day pill dispensers.  You know at a glance if you took your meds or not, and I have a timer on my phone that goes off every day, and my forgotten doses are way down now.  Good Luck!  I do hope some of this information has been of help to you. Let me know if I can help you.

 

I hope you begin feeling better soon!

Skeeter

yep apologies I worded that wrong, I meant exercise like a light walk, walking was all I was able to do until very recently, 

[Zant808]

5/2/2018 - Only a week or two left and I'll be able to make another cut on my Depakote Sprinkles...

 

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 6 and 8 hours
Diet:  bottled water, cereal, milk, ribs, macaroni and cheese, chocolate ice cream, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers, apples, banana, applesauce
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  4 out of 10

11:30 PM - 450 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 16 of cutting to 450 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

[Zant808]

5/3/2018 - Sigh...

 

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 6 and 8 hours
Diet:  bottled water, cereal, milk, steak sandwich, potato salad, macaroni salad, chocolate donut, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers, apples, banana, applesauce
Exercise:  walking
Quality of life:  4 out of 10

11:30 PM - 450 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 17 of cutting to 450 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

[Zant808]

5/4/2018 - Sigh...

 

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 6 and 8 hours
Diet:  bottled water, cereal, milk, cheeseburgers, french fries, chocolate donut, lemon cake, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers, apples, banana, applesauce
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  4 out of 10

11:30 PM - 450 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 18 of cutting to 450 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

[Skeeter]

@dj2010  I am glad I figured out what you meant.  I had a heck of a time, too. It is hard to be knocked down for so darned long!!

 

@Zant808 I wish I had said something that was of help to you.  I wish you the best.  I am sorry you feel so awful.  I was there for so long, and it is so hard.  Keep doing what you can!

 

I hope things improve soon, Zant.

Skeeter

 

[Zant808]

5/5/2018 - Sigh...

 

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 6 and 8 hours
Diet:  bottled water, cereal, milk, orange chicken, jasmine rice, salad, chocolate donut, lemon cake, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers, apples, banana, applesauce
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  4 out of 10

11:30 PM - 450 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 19 of cutting to 450 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

[Zant808]

5/6/2018 - I decided that I feel ready to reduce the Depakote Sprinkles more.  I went from 450 mg to 425 mg and will likely hold for the rest of the month of May.

 

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 6 and 8 hours
Diet:  bottled water, cereal, milk, chicken piccata, garlic bread, salad, chocolate cookies, chocolate brownie, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers, apples, banana, applesauce
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  4 out of 10

11:45 PM - 425 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 1 of cutting to 425 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

[Zant808]

5/9/2018 - I skipped a couple of entries, but I'm doing ok with the 25 mg reduction in Depakote Sprinkles.

 

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 6 and 8 hours
Diet:  bottled water, cereal, milk, pork chops, rice, green beans, salad, chocolate cookies, chocolate brownie, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers, apples, banana, applesauce
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  4 out of 10

11:30 PM - 425 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 4 of cutting to 425 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

[Zant808]

5/10/2018 - I would feel more accomplished if I actually managed to get off Depakote Sprinkles but that is still such a long way off.

 

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 6 and 8 hours
Diet:  bottled water, cereal, milk, pea soup, biscuits, salad, chocolate cookies, chocolate brownie, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers, apples, banana, applesauce
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  4 out of 10

12:30 AM - 425 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 5 of cutting to 425 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

[Altostrata]

6-8 hours of sleep isn't terrible. Please try to get at least 30 minutes of walking each day, it could help you sleep.

 

Why are you trying to sleep at 8 a.m.?

[Zant808]

5/11/2018 - Long day today and an even longer day tomorrow...

 

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 6 and 8 hours
Diet:  bottled water, cereal, milk, chili, salad, key lime pie, chocolate cookies, cheese crackers, peanut butter crackers, apples, banana, applesauce
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  4 out of 10

11:45 PM - 425 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 6 of cutting to 425 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

[Zant808]

19 hours ago, Altostrata said:

6-8 hours of sleep isn't terrible. Please try to get at least 30 minutes of walking each day, it could help you sleep.

  

Why are you trying to sleep at 8 a.m.?

 

I just put down 8 AM because that's generally the average time that my body/brain feels like it can go to sleep regardless of when I start taking my medications.  Sometimes I am able to go to bed as early as 6:30 AM and sometimes I cannot go to sleep until 9:30 AM.

[Altostrata]

I'm sorry if we talked about this before --- why are you sleeping during the day? That is in opposition to your normal biorhythm. It could have wide-reaching effects on your body and your emotions.

[Zant808]

5/12/2018 - Well, ok it was supposed to be a long day but thunderstorms made sure that all my plans were ruined....

 

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 6 and 8 hours
Diet:  bottled water, cereal, milk, beef tips, quinoa, salad,  key lime pie, chocolate cookies, cheese crackers, apples, applesauce
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  4 out of 10

11:30 PM - 425 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 7 of cutting to 425 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep

[Zant808]

14 hours ago, Altostrata said:

I'm sorry if we talked about this before --- why are you sleeping during the day? That is in opposition to your normal biorhythm. It could have wide-reaching effects on your body and your emotions.

 

I'm just following basic protocol for someone who supposedly has bipolar disorder whether it is genetic or iatrogenic.  I must sleep whenever I feel tired to prevent going manic and having another inpatient hospitalization.  A lot of the times I fall asleep accidentally when watching TV.  And I'm up all night because I have to keep watch on my stepfather who has dementia while at the same time running a business from home so I don't wind up bankrupt and homeless.

[Zant808]

5/13/2018 - My entire nervous system feels like it's fried and my muscles are aching without any type of strenuous exercise...

 

My symptoms:  PSSD, insomnia, anxiety, confusion, memory loss, no motivation, depression, nightmares, paranoia

 

Summary and Schedule:

 

Total sleep:  somewhere between 6 and 8 hours
Diet:  bottled water, cereal, milk, prime rib, asparagus, risotto, bread, key lime pie, cheese crackers, strawberry snack bar, applesauce
Exercise:  none
Quality of life:  4 out of 10

11:45 PM - 425 mg of Depakote Sprinkles (Day 8 of cutting to 425 mg), 3 mg Klonopin, 25 mg Anafranil
8:00 AM - attempt to sleep