success ☼ DLB Winning The Fight

[DLB]

Ok, so here goes again, I had the unfortunate luck of being thrown into this horror for actually no reason at all. Back in September 2003 got sick and was given an antibiotic never had any problems before with them so i took em. Well, two weeks later not putting 2+2 together I went to the. Doc because I literally couldn't walk and had severe insomnia , like not a wink of sleep for a week also, couldn't hold onto power tools because the vibration was EXTREEM muscles stiff and sore all over and urinated almost black one night.
 
They did tests and found nothing MRI blood. He said it was anxiety and I needed paxil, I was in horrific shape and said ok. Never had anxiety before though.
 
Five years go by and I tapered off in March 08 things are great until I get chest infection in August. I get another antibiotic and after a few weeks, INSOMNIA, HORRIBLE PAIN, CANT WALK, TERRIBLE NIGHT SWEATS, I realize this is what happened 5 years prior and called my doc to find out what he gave me the first time I went nuts. LEVAQUIN!!! the same crap I had just finished.
 
I begged for paxil again to straighten me out because I thought that is what fixed me the first time. Oh, he also said antibiotics can't do that, yeah right, a normal one doesn't but the atomic bomb of antibiotics can and its called a flouroquinolone. I had been FLOXED.
 
Well, after miserable startup effects the paxil worked again and now I knew it was not me that went nuts the first time and thought paxil was harmless and made me more mellow. I read all the horror stories on paxilprogress back in 2003 when I was looking this stuff up and thought these were just weak people and the stuff is fine.
 
I decided in 2011 to come off in one months time from 10mg. And this time weird stuff happened to me , I was reliving my teen life (which was awesome) like a tape playing over and over and songs repeating over and over and hyper excited constantly with huge adrenaline rushes. I had no idea what it was and I just pushed on. Until I found my father dead in his yard a day after he drove my mom to airport for vacation at my sisters. He was in 98F full sun all day and I found him after he failed to pick up his best buddy, my son for tae kwon do .
 
It was not pretty there were bugs and sunken blackened eyes and just not the way you would want to remember someone. Well, in my weakness I figured I'll go back on my 10 mg. again and after lousy startup it went ok but not the same, then I noticed I was not doing all my favorite things and realized that over ten years MANY of my passions left me.
 
So in February 13 one month taper again and 1.5 months later all hell breaks loose with insomnia terrible foot sensations and many other things like anhedonia and no libido , fog and all the usual things people get. Reinstated again and figured I would do it right. Come November 2013'i got stress fracture in foot and was taking huge amounts of NSAIDs and all of a sudden I went into withdrawal with extreme sound sensitivity and everything else.
 
In December I kicked a table so hard it triggered an autoimmune disease which no one in my family has called psoriatic arthritis and I am sure it is withdrawal related and painfull as hell and 1 year later my foot is still swollen and now I have minor psoriasis too that my dermatologist says is rare to start at 46 years old.
 
In January 2014 I began my 10% taper and was ok until sept. When severe withdrawal hit and the great people from PP talked me through not reinstating, I was at about 2.35. I got better but I still have daily or weekly window wave patterns but never feel normal yet. I usually only get 4 hours of sleep per night and twitch all over and no more night sweats in like 8 months. I do. Notice my sensation on fingers and feet are greatly exaggerated and I have become ticklish again ( I used to have to fake it when my little ones tickled me now it really happens).
 
I work full time in construction and I fell exhausted every day but can't sleep, although last night I made six hours which has been extremely rare. The doctors want me on humira for my arthritis but I am holding out hope that my immune system may change when I'm off for good in a few weeks. I am currently on .8 mg and I am very scared of dropping off soon. Sorry for the long post but there it is.... Oh and my taper was lost with the closing of PP but it was generally 10% every 4 weeks or so unless I felt good I went quicker but was at nine almost a year goo and now .8 so I think it was ok.

Edited May 27, 2017 by scallywag
tags; previous edit added paragraphs for readability

[Frustrated]

Hi. I was kairbear on the other site. Welcome! You have had quite an eventful decade and I am glad to see you are finally able to succeed with a slow taper. I hope you find support and comfort here. Nice to have you here.

[chicken]

Hi DLB, welcome to SA.

 

I hate to read this as a floroquinolone antibiotic (Cipro) ruined my AD taper.  Thank the Lord, it didn't do anything more. I almost believe these antibiotics are worse than ADs.

[brassmonkey]

Hi DLB --so glad you could make it over, they have a really great group here.  There are rumors about ways to rescue your journal so all may not be lost.

[DLB]

Thanks guys....

[Altostrata]

Welcome, DLB.

 

I'm allergic to Cipro myself.

 

You might find some good ideas in our Symptoms and Self-Care forum.

 

Many people do better with fish oil and magnesium supplements, see
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/
 

[alaskamom]

Hi Damien, I am another former PPer here too!  I, like you, are not totally anti-medicine - especially in getting off of ADs.  I've found my super antihistamine invaluable at preventing anxiety attacks and it is nonaddictive.  I think if you do it with your eyes open and find it useful in getting off ADs, it is helpful.  Anyhow, glad you found everyone here!

[Junior]

Great to see you here DLB. I didn't know your full story until now - OMG, so not fair.  I can't imagine how hard it must have been finding your father.  My heart goes out to you on that one alone. xx

 

Regarding your sleep, it may actually be your job that is contributing to your inability to sleep.  I realised recently that if I push myself too hard phsyically, my nervous system goes into hyperdrive and ruins my sleep.  I know you can't just quit your job but thought it was worth mentioning.  Are you doing anything to calm your system in the evenings?  I'm thinking meditation and relaxation exercises.  Anything to settle the system. 

[DLB]

Thanks again everyone, junior, I do find I have terrible sleep when I actually feel better and do more. Sat. I took the kids to the movies( the hobbit) and had the worst night of sleep. Woke at 2 then 3:30 and stayed up after that. Last night I took an OTC sleep aid and slept7.5 hours which is unheard of!! But I feel like crap! Have you heard anything about non prescription sleep aids screwing up recovery?

[Junior]

Can't say that I have.  But you may feel bad because your body is simply not used to getting that much sleep!  Sometimes I feel worse after a good night's sleep.  If I get two in a row I feel better though. 

[DLB]

This last 1 mg. Is gonna be tough. I can't believe people dop at 1. According to the charts that are posted, 20℅ of your receptors are still blocked at 1 mg. I can't believe the dust I'm putting in capsules at this point.maple leaf jumped at 1 and did good so far though. I tried magnesium last night and maybe it was too much because I'm exhausted with an abnormal large amount of sleep.

[Frustrated]

Wow I didn't know that 20 percent were still blocked at 1mg.  I went off Paxil five and a half months ago but reinstated 1.2mg two weeks ago because the withdrawals were awful.  I guess that means that the brain can only heal itself 80 percent until the last mg is tapered down.  Interesting.  Although I would think 80 percent would still make me feel WAY better than I do now lol.

[DLB]

Yeah, this is starting to scare me a little. I feel adrenaline rushes again for no reason and this is how I felt in September. I toughed it out then and think I can now. How was your taper 5 months ago frustrated? There are links put up here that show amount of blockade of receptor's or binding of them by SSRI's. I don't know how the binding reflects how many% are blocked though. All I know is that I feel like $hit now at .8 mg. I figured if people drop off at 1mg. Then I can surely do a semi fast taper through 1 mg.

[Frustrated]

I didn't know about the 10% taper at the time so I tapered quickly over 2 months from 20 to 0.  my last dose was the end of June.  I was back and forth to ER during the first few months for various scares.  Didn't put 2 and 2 together.  By November I was really feeling crappy, then I found this site and discovered that I basically cold turkeyed off my meds and that withdrawals could  last a year or more.  Sometimes years.  Couldn't believe it.  So mad at my doctor but at least I had an answer.  I think reinstating 1.2mg is helping me function but I still feel like crap. In February I will start tapering that amount down 10% at a time and I will NEVER put one of these meds in my mouth again.

[Ever]

Hi DLB

 

I also did not know about the huge effect that low doses have until pp closed and I came here.   I'm very relieved and grateful to find that out as it seems to explain why I always crash a couple of months after reaching zero.   So far, I have had very few problems with tapering - it's the jumping off that gets me every time.   Last time I tapered at 10% down to 3mg and accidentally jumped off then, thinking that I'd be fine as I'd had no real problems with the taper.  Crashed yet again a couple of months later.

 

So now, after so many crashes and each time I crash I lose months or years having to re-instate and start again, I have absolutely no desire to rush any longer.   I'm back at 4mg and will take it really really slow from now on.   Very grateful to find this site and find that, contrary to what pp recommended, that tapering the low doses IS recommended.   This time I think I'm going to make it.

[Frustrated]

I am sure you will make it Ever. I really wish I had known about the alow taper when I came off and I will definitely taper the 1.2 mg down slowly.

[Ever]

Hi Frustrated - I keep reading your history and feel grateful that I have always been able (so far) to re-instate successfully.   Until I found pp, I didn't know the dangers of re-instating and I would re-instate straight back to 20mg each time.  Many times.  Even after many months off.   Feel very lucky now.   This last time I was more careful -  I re-instated after 2 or 3 months off, starting at 2.3mg and when I didn't get an adverse reaction, I went up over the next few days to 4mg.   Feeling ok now and happy I didn't need to go higher.  

[DLB]

Hi Ever, we did have those charts with a link from the same member who posted it here. At 4 mg. You are blocking about 40- 50%!!! This is crazy. People always say 1 mg. Isn't doing anything but it sure is. 20% is something!

[Ever]

You are so right DLB - it IS crazy!

 

I didn't know we had the charts at pp - I always remember Scotty posting that she didn't think people should stay at low doses for very long before jumping.  I listened. 

[brassmonkey]

We didn't "officially" have the charts.  They were posted to one thread and discussed for a day or two before the thread got locked.  Lately there were starting to be a lot of us in the 3-1mg range who were making a lot of comments about how tough the range was and I don't think it was sitting too well.  From the charts I can really see why so many have trouble in the 5mg and below range and think a lot more attention needs to be paid to it.

[DLB]

Hi Tom, how are you doing with your taper? I'm working and all and doing all daily stuff but I always can't wait to get home. In a slight fog and just feel like garbage.

[Altostrata]

I believe those charts are here Why taper? Paper demonstrates importance of gradual change in plasma concentration

 

We like those charts.

 

Here, we say stay at a low dose as long as you want. Often a good long hold settles the nervous system and makes the last bit possible.

[Ever]

Woot woot!

[brassmonkey]

You basically wrote my reply for me. All in all the taper is going pretty well.  I have had a rough couple of weeks with the situational stuff which is threatening to pull me down, but so far I have handled it almost like a normal person.  I just get really tired and it takes a long time to spring back.  Work has been really slow with the year end stuff which has been nice, no hard deadlines and able to catch up on the little stuff that I have left hanging.

 

Wow 0.8mg, can you even find that in the capsule?  Just take it as your body tells you to and you'll be jumping off in no time.

[Songbird]

Good to see another pp-er make it over here.  What a lot you have been through!  I'm a great believer in taking it slow and listening to your body when deciding how to taper.  After reading about those fluoroquinolone antibiotics I wouldn't ever take one.  Luckily they don't seem to be used much over here.

[MatGMax]

I'll stay away from fluroquinolone.

 

thanks for info!

 

Cheers

 

Damien

[DLB]

Welcome, DLB.

 

I'm allergic to Cipro myself.

 

You might find some good ideas in our Symptoms and Self-Care forum.

 

Many people do better with fish oil and magnesium supplements, see

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

Thank you for the welcome, and thank you for this site, are you allergic to quinolones or do you get the horrific side effects? I don't get a allergic reaction just more of a chemical poisoning.

[DLB]

I'll stay away from fluroquinolone.

 

thanks for info!

 

Cheers

 

Damien

Make sure you know which are quinolones. Very important because there are a handful of them with different names. These may be just as damaging as ssri's. I have been talking to a former member here who completely recovered years ago and he took cipro and he had anxiety and stuff happen to him that he said felt like withdrawal again. Months later still has some residual effects from it.

[DLB]

This is so unfair to feel like this when people are over and having a good tome. I can't wait for the night to end and just sleep if I can. I'm in a bad wave after reducing from 1 to .08 mg. how the hell is this possible? Can somebody remind me that this goes away. My head feels clogged and I can't even look at people. A week ago I felt not too bad. Right now it feels like acid going through my veins and can hardly walk due to leg weakness.

[Frustrated]

I get it. My legs are paining so bad I am on the couch and the little one is running around me. It will eventually go away but who knows when. I wish I could have at least enjoyed xmas.

[Petunia]

Last night I took an OTC sleep aid and slept7.5 hours which is unheard of!! But I feel like crap! Have you heard anything about non prescription sleep aids screwing up recovery?

 

Any drug or supplement which acts on the CNS can have a paradoxical effect in a nervous system sensitized by withdrawal.  If you are going to try something, start with a very small dose to see how if effects you, often, much less than what you used to take will have the same effect.

[Ever]

DLB and Frustrated - really sorry you guys are suffering

[Aeroman]

Hey DLB!!!!!!!!  Glad I found your thread.  Yep, its me Aeroman from PP.  Ive been hanging around here trying to make sense of my issues after I took Cipro back in July.  Things were ok from August to November, despite the nausea and vertigo.  I had the anxiety and depression come in waves but nothing to bring me down to my knees.

 

On the morning of Christmas Eve...I was brought down to my knees with the racing thoughts, etc and thinking i was going insane.  Hope all is better with you my friend.

[DLB]

Well, a little update. For the past 2 weeks or a little more i have pretty much consistently felt 85% of myself again but with lots of knee pain in both knees. Head fog is all but gone sleep is pretty good at about 5 hours a night consistently and im now at .16 mg of poison paxil. I thought i would be off before Christmas but i had a tough time just below 1mg. At that time ao i extended taper to small drops below 1 mg. To zero soon. Amazing that below 1 mg. Can affect you. I will be off this 13 month taper from 10 mg. In 2 weeks!!!!

[Altostrata]

Very happy to hear you're doing better. I added our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol

☼

to the title of your Intro topic.

Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually!

 

For the knee pain, I would look into chiropractic, physical therapy, and acupuncture. It could be from sitting too much and reading on the computer.

[DLB]

Thanks Alto, I am at .16 Mg. now and it is so ridiculously small the amt. but I am going to hold here another week and jump off !!!!! The knee pain is definitely Paxil related as the first time I went on it and every time coming off and all other starts after that I had the exact same pain and NEVER had this any other time in my life. This time is weird though as it is lasting a lot longer. Probably due to the slower taper , my last ones were 1 month and this is 13 now. When I was at 8 Mg. the neck pain lasted 3 months and was severe also and never had anything like that in my life either. Also, I am up on my feet all day at work so it can't be the sitting. The legs are like jelly too some days. Anyway still doing well with zero forehead pressure , no fog, somewhat ok sleep (had a 3 hour night recently) can fall asleep easily but wake every night between 3:30 - 4:30 and just sit there. I don't experience any of the things that most people get upon waking, no anxiety (none really ever) no fast heart rate, some very light sweating rarely. This is nothing like last year in the beginning and at poopout. Still not much motivation though. Like my new sun symbol :-) and will defiantly be in the success stories, there is no other option. One question though, do you think that being under 1Mg. for three months that the $hit would have hit the fan already if it was going to do so?? Thanks for all you do for all of us here.