Jump to content
SurvivingAntidepressants.org is temporarily closed to new registrations until 1 April ×

☼ Coldturkmama: Paxil 14 years, cold turkey, protracted withdrawal


coldturkmama

Recommended Posts

Had an awesome 3 week window....felt 95% great with the odd brain zap and wave of pain (joint pain) etc.

Woke up today feeling down, blah, stomach upsets, cold chills, anxious....boo. hoping it's short lived.

At 28 months out from a cold turkey, I don't know what to expect with all this, so one day at a time.

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment

Keep forging ahead coldturkmama!

 

I'm 21 months out from a quick taper off Lexapro, and I'm starting to feel that healing is really picking up momentum. Still wavy but they don't knock me down as much and I notice my nervous system is getting more resilient. 

 

This has to wash out of us eventually! The body is self-healing and always trending toward wellness. Keep going!

9/2006 Began Lexapro

1/2014 Began taper from 15mg 

Cut dose by 2.5 mg every two weeks or until stabilized 

5/25/2014 Last dose 

 

Experienced: Anxiety/depression, intrusive thoughts, dizziness, de-personalization, mood swings, stomach pains, nausea, headaches, gastro upset, anger, many spells of brain fog, chills, water retention, hypoglycemia, heart palpitations, weight gain, light headedness, muscle constriction - jaw, chest, neck, cortisol surges waking me several times at night with heart racing, blurry eyesight / visual snow, neuropathic pain, burning/numbness in hands and feet, muscle twitching, light sensitivity, sinuses, temperature disregulation, ear zaps, FEAR, hopelessness, doom and gloom, muscle spasms and tension across whole body, low energy, apathy, depression, constant post nasal drip, ear pain, jaw pain and cracking, tooth pain, burning/tingling/numbing, right rib cage pain FOREVER, lymph congestion, hypersensitivity to many foods and many supplements, bladder/ urination issues, creaky bones, sallow, yellow skin on hands/feet, emotional dysregulation, back pain, vivid dreams, mucus, peeling lips.

 

What's left: Low energy some days, muscle pain, hormone imbalance, GI stuff here and there, eye floaters, peeling, red lips.

 

 

Link to comment

Keep forging ahead coldturkmama!

 

I'm 21 months out from a quick taper off Lexapro, and I'm starting to feel that healing is really picking up momentum. Still wavy but they don't knock me down as much and I notice my nervous system is getting more resilient. 

 

This has to wash out of us eventually! The body is self-healing and always trending toward wellness. Keep going!

 

thank you! :)  I hope you make great strides! 

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment

Well it's day #3 of this wave & I'm NOT loving it at all.  I had SUCH an amazing window (3 weeks) that were soooo good...like I felt 95% amazing except for some body aches & pains and a little sleeplessness.  I can DEAL with that. 

Keep on keeping on I guess! 

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment

Hi CTM.   Pleased you had an amazing window.  That is encouraging. I love your " signature"  -  " fighting it every step of the way ". That is what I'm trying to do , also !

95% is pretty great.  I hope it continues to improve for you . Maybe, 100% is just around the corner.  A " success story " soon, maybe  ? 

At 21 months  myself, I'm " hot on your heels" and hoping for 95%  at your stage of recovery , as well.

Like you said -  " one day at a time " !

Ali

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

Link to comment

One day at a time is all we can do I guess.  Our brain WANTS to heal, so that's encouraging and we know it will eventually.....time seems key.  I loved my window, it was so awesome.  I had that real inner peace instead of inner turmoil. Ugh! ;)  This too shall pass! I hope that my wave is shorter than usual....would seem that they last a long time sometimes. Yuck! 

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment

Thought I'd say hi CTM, how are you doing? 

Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD).  Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal.

Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy.

Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum"Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals.

Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions).

Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking.

Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO.  April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol.   25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L).

Symptoms:  Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing).  **Histhamine intolerance (suspected).

Major Life Events: 

Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016

My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs)  Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018  "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018  Diagnosed with: 5th August 2021 PTSD/C-PTSD Diagnosed with: March 2022 Interstitial Cystitis (IC)/Painful bladder syndrome

Link to comment

Thanks for the HI! :P  Doing decent! I had the start of a wave and then it kind of tapered off.  It started a week ago and ended just as fast really.  I have a LOT of pain right now in my  hips and back, so I don't know if this is a typical pain wave or what.  Other than that I'm feeling pretty good. My daughter had surgery yesterday and that was a stressful day but I did good!  

How are you? 

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment

Hi coldturkmama, Glad to hear your wave died out quickly. Pain is a drag. I can't believe how damaged my poor organs and muscles feel this FAR OUT. Hips and back are my worse pain spots as well and when I get my period things really go haywire. 

 

It's interesting....I've tried so many alternative therapies (even ones like acupuncture that I did for 5 years before withdrawal) to help the pain and they make me miserable now...increase the pain and set my emotions off terribly. 

 

All I have is heat, a homeopathic ointment, my foam roller, meditation and TIME as my ally, I guess. Let me know if you find the magic key ;)

9/2006 Began Lexapro

1/2014 Began taper from 15mg 

Cut dose by 2.5 mg every two weeks or until stabilized 

5/25/2014 Last dose 

 

Experienced: Anxiety/depression, intrusive thoughts, dizziness, de-personalization, mood swings, stomach pains, nausea, headaches, gastro upset, anger, many spells of brain fog, chills, water retention, hypoglycemia, heart palpitations, weight gain, light headedness, muscle constriction - jaw, chest, neck, cortisol surges waking me several times at night with heart racing, blurry eyesight / visual snow, neuropathic pain, burning/numbness in hands and feet, muscle twitching, light sensitivity, sinuses, temperature disregulation, ear zaps, FEAR, hopelessness, doom and gloom, muscle spasms and tension across whole body, low energy, apathy, depression, constant post nasal drip, ear pain, jaw pain and cracking, tooth pain, burning/tingling/numbing, right rib cage pain FOREVER, lymph congestion, hypersensitivity to many foods and many supplements, bladder/ urination issues, creaky bones, sallow, yellow skin on hands/feet, emotional dysregulation, back pain, vivid dreams, mucus, peeling lips.

 

What's left: Low energy some days, muscle pain, hormone imbalance, GI stuff here and there, eye floaters, peeling, red lips.

 

 

Link to comment

Time is the key! It's so nice to see improvements though! :)

Pain does suck, but I find I usually feel better in one way or another if I am in physical pain. Such an odd roller coaster.

I have had some strong brain zaps lately...so odd!

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment

Yes - I find that when my physical symptoms are ramped, my mental state is clear and when my mental state is wavy, my physical symptoms are less intense. For me, mental symptoms regulated much quicker than the physical. Mentally I was good more than bad around 16 months but the physical hell is still very present. 

 

i surprised myself the other day though - I had a friend give me acupuncture (which he did for me for 4 years when I was on the drug) and it threw off tremendous fear like I haven't felt since September. In the old days, it calmed me greatly. I hate being this fragile. Grr. ;)

9/2006 Began Lexapro

1/2014 Began taper from 15mg 

Cut dose by 2.5 mg every two weeks or until stabilized 

5/25/2014 Last dose 

 

Experienced: Anxiety/depression, intrusive thoughts, dizziness, de-personalization, mood swings, stomach pains, nausea, headaches, gastro upset, anger, many spells of brain fog, chills, water retention, hypoglycemia, heart palpitations, weight gain, light headedness, muscle constriction - jaw, chest, neck, cortisol surges waking me several times at night with heart racing, blurry eyesight / visual snow, neuropathic pain, burning/numbness in hands and feet, muscle twitching, light sensitivity, sinuses, temperature disregulation, ear zaps, FEAR, hopelessness, doom and gloom, muscle spasms and tension across whole body, low energy, apathy, depression, constant post nasal drip, ear pain, jaw pain and cracking, tooth pain, burning/tingling/numbing, right rib cage pain FOREVER, lymph congestion, hypersensitivity to many foods and many supplements, bladder/ urination issues, creaky bones, sallow, yellow skin on hands/feet, emotional dysregulation, back pain, vivid dreams, mucus, peeling lips.

 

What's left: Low energy some days, muscle pain, hormone imbalance, GI stuff here and there, eye floaters, peeling, red lips.

 

 

Link to comment

It's definitely very frustrating!

I hate all of it!

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

I had an awesome two and a half week window and then a wave hit.

 

Today I'm feeling sad and upset. My friend has known all along about this withdrawal and problems associated with paxil. Last night we talked and she is putting her daughter (14) on a drug. My heart is heavy about her decision because I don't really think she understands the effects these drugs have. She said her daughters therapist said there are hardly any side effects to the drug, that it's not harmful in kids, easy to get off of etc....I just worry they won't taper her properly when the time comes.

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment

Dear CTM I am sorry you have this wave...and hope soon it will leave you. I am 34 months of Zoloft the only antidepressant I ever took....and there is a continuous wave for the last many months....

 

I am always happy to hear that people do have windows as you have had...hopefully one day I will too.

 

Good sign for you to have windows which means you are healing well.

 

lee (f)

Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules

Started tapering December 3, 2011,

Off Zoloft May 17, 2013

While tapering WDS were tolerable

Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off

even worse after 18 months off

Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now.

 

 

 

Link to comment

I had a good day today, so I'm happy about that. I'm so sorry you are still suffering Diva.

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment

Hello CTM, it's amazing how you are healing nicely with many long windows it is very encouraging and it gives me hope. Good for you, you are almost there. As for me I rarely experience windows and I am two months behind you from being off SSRI's. Wish you well...

Celexa 20mg 2008-2012 for Social Anxiety

Failed attempt to stop reinstated

1 year taper skipping doses

Celexa free 12/2013

1/2014-5/2014 took 5 htp every other day

Failed Reinstatement 5mg of Celexa on 12/2014 for 5 days only

Link to comment

Wow...you must get so frustrated. Did you go cold turkey??

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment

Yes it is very frustrating and tiring to have to go through this. The way that I got off the drug was to skip doses for a whole year then c/t off 2.5mg of Celexa.

Celexa 20mg 2008-2012 for Social Anxiety

Failed attempt to stop reinstated

1 year taper skipping doses

Celexa free 12/2013

1/2014-5/2014 took 5 htp every other day

Failed Reinstatement 5mg of Celexa on 12/2014 for 5 days only

Link to comment

I guess neither of us did it the best way...:/  I had no idea about tapering or withdrawal or anything until way after the damage was done.   

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment

I guess neither of us did it the best way...:/  I had no idea about tapering or withdrawal or anything until way after the damage was done.   

Same. I had no idea what was going to happen. Hope you all are having a decent day. :)

Link to comment

Not toooooo shabby!

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment

Definitely a decent day...hope you had a good one as well. :)

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment

I've been having a weird week...like a wave inside a window lol...bits of good and not so good. Anyone else have that??

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment

Weird week here, too, but I messed up my gabapentin taper really bad (bad at math) so it is to be expected. Up and down and up and down. Very unpredictable. Just have to wait it out.

We will get through this! :excl: :excl: :excl:

Link to comment

I've been having a weird week...like a wave inside a window lol...bits of good and not so good. Anyone else have that??

 

I hear you.

 

Weird week here, too, but I messed up my gabapentin taper really bad (bad at math) so it is to be expected. Up and down and up and down. Very unpredictable. Just have to wait it out.

We will get through this! :excl: :excl: :excl:

 

You're in my thoughts. :)

 

Link to comment

I'm not a fan of the weird week, it's so hard to know how I'll feel from one hour to the next! Ugh! 

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment

Hello Coldturkeymama...I am glad you are improving and having lots of windows and less waves.

 

I am n ot so lucky - now off Zoloft 34 months and have not had a window in many many months. Now I have a cold tickle in my throat and coughing...reluctantly I have had to take blood pressure medication just about almost a month now....I am so frightened taking anything at all. My vitamin D blood levels came back at ll.5 Canadian levels which is deficient. I tried many times to take Vitamin D but it makes me feel sick and anxious..so I am going to stop taking it.

 

There doesn't seem to be any hope for me it seems. No windows just wave after wave..I cant wait for night time to go to bed...my symptoms of WDs are many...I am sorry to take up your space...it is just that I am so scared...

 

I have things to do - I need to get my hair done on Thursday, then I have to think about getting my income tax done...then I need to get an oil change for my car - and everything is so overwhelming...I do it though, no matter what I do what I have to do...I just cry when I get home.

 

To me - when there is no longer any hope - then there is freedom....I am sorry just a very bad day today....please everyone forgive me...- it is just that this is the only place I can vent. No one knows my sufferings - no one - I found out a long time ago that no one understands....and those who do - and are your friends - they try their best but when they see no improvement in you - they tend to not come around any more - I can understand that...and I don't blame them...

 

Stay as well as you can coldturkeymama - and be as happy as anyone of us are allowed to be xx

 

Lee (f)

Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules

Started tapering December 3, 2011,

Off Zoloft May 17, 2013

While tapering WDS were tolerable

Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off

even worse after 18 months off

Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now.

 

 

 

Link to comment

I'm sorry you are suffering so. I'll pray for you. I have only found the strength I have to get through it all by the grace of God.

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment

Thank you CTM - and I will pray for you too.....

Love

Lee (f)

 

Yes with the grace of God....xxx

Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules

Started tapering December 3, 2011,

Off Zoloft May 17, 2013

While tapering WDS were tolerable

Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off

even worse after 18 months off

Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now.

 

 

 

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Just popping in to say hey.....I've had major hip/back pain and full body pain for the last almost 2 weeks.  I have felt like an old old lady, and I'm only 36!!  The pain comes and goes like any other *wave* of symptoms.  I am hoping that in time they will just be gone...dry up....float away and get tired of visiting us all...:) 

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment

Hi CTM. Me, too, waves of pain. Wish I could make yours go away, mine go away. Praying for strength to face another day, another night.

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Just popping in to say hey.....I've had major hip/back pain and full body pain for the last almost 2 weeks.  I have felt like an old old lady, and I'm only 36!!  The pain comes and goes like any other *wave* of symptoms.  I am hoping that in time they will just be gone...dry up....float away and get tired of visiting us all... :)

 

Hi CTM. Me, too, waves of pain. Wish I could make yours go away, mine go away. Praying for strength to face another day, another night.

 

Greetings. Hope you all are having an okay April. :) Lovely weather.

Link to comment

My pain is better but such as it is...pain gets better and other symptoms get worse. I've not had head pressure for months and now it's back. I hope it's short lived. I hate it!

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy