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☼ Coldturkmama: Paxil 14 years, cold turkey, protracted withdrawal


coldturkmama

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Having a good day today, so I'll take it! :) 

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Well this sucks!

I'd love to wake up and have this all GONE for good. Bouncing around from window to wave lately is getting old. A nice big fat window would sure be nice right about now.

I know it's *only* been 29 months from a cold turkey afyer 14 or 15 yrs so technically it's probably early days in many ways as I've heard others say and I KNOW I am doing way better than some people but I'm just getting soooo tired of it.

Gotta vent a little...!

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

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Today was :)

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment

Just popping in to say hey.....I've had major hip/back pain and full body pain for the last almost 2 weeks.  I have felt like an old old lady, and I'm only 36!!  The pain comes and goes like any other *wave* of symptoms.  I am hoping that in time they will just be gone...dry up....float away and get tired of visiting us all... :)

 

 

Hi Coldturkmama,

 

I've been struggling to get more than 4 or 5 hours of sleep a night since withdrawing. I wake up at some  point and just can't get back to sleep. This happens every night. Did you experience this every night as well? How long did it go on for? Also, I've had pain in my hip ever since withdrawing and it just hasn't gone away. How long did this take to improve for you? Thanks so much.

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I have had terrible night's of insomnia- and then thankfully sleep would come.  I'm almost 29 months out from a cold turkey so my story is a lil different from yours perhaps?  But, by times I would only get 4-5 hours of sleep at night as well.  About two months ago it happened again, I went almost 2 weeks with waking every single morning at 4:00 a.m. and could NOT get back to sleep, it was so annoying.  thankfully these times seem to only last a few days or a week normally then I go back to getting fairly decent sleep.

My back/legs and hip have all bothered me very badly since WD, but my left hip has been the worst lately and almost seems flared up.  It's been 2 months of a lot of pain. Hoping it goes soon! 

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment

I have had terrible night's of insomnia- and then thankfully sleep would come.  I'm almost 29 months out from a cold turkey so my story is a lil different from yours perhaps?  But, by times I would only get 4-5 hours of sleep at night as well.  About two months ago it happened again, I went almost 2 weeks with waking every single morning at 4:00 a.m. and could NOT get back to sleep, it was so annoying.  thankfully these times seem to only last a few days or a week normally then I go back to getting fairly decent sleep.

My back/legs and hip have all bothered me very badly since WD, but my left hip has been the worst lately and almost seems flared up.  It's been 2 months of a lot of pain. Hoping it goes soon! 

 

Hi, thanks for responding. How long did it take after withdrawing before insomnia wasn't a nightly problem for you?

 

HIp pain is the worst and nobody understands what it likes unless they have had it. 

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Hmm I think it was at its worst in the earlier days, maybe month 6-9 ish? I know I had it in waves just like everything else.

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment

I did :)

I take it you did not?

Feel better xo

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment

Hi MN, CT and Irving. :)

 

I check in every once in a while and read what you post. Just reading helps remind me to be gentle with myself knowing that my symptoms are real. Family doesn't believe that the awful drug could have these effects this far out. Thinking of all of you. :)

 

The first six months were the worst. I don't remember ever falling asleep before 2 a.m. Nowadays it's hoping things go away or recur less often.

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Hi Anonymous :)  

Sucks when family doesn't believe! I thankfully have a lot of good support, so it makes it better.  The first 9 months were the worst for me. The very 1st month was fine, I actually thought "Wow I feel so much better!" and then wham- everything struck at once! 

I hope you continue to heal and feel better each day. :) 

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment

The very 1st month was fine, I actually thought "Wow I feel so much better!" and then wham- everything struck at once! 

 

I can relate to this. I volunteered at an amusement park and also went to a music festival in the first few weeks, thinking things would be fine as long as I distracted myself. I chuckle sometimes at how ignorant I was.  :) Hope you all are having a good weekend. 

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I am having a decent one! :)

It's funny the way all this worms. I know we are slowly healing though.

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment

Not a good day.

Due to get my period any time and the lead up is always the worst.

I had 3 or 4 good days and then the last few have sucked. Anxiety, head pressure, etc. Ugh not impressed.

I get so worried when I'm in the wave, "

OH this is you for good" etc but I KNOW what it is like to have awesome days....this too shall pass. Trying to just lean on God during all this.

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment

I was wondering...

I got fat from Ssri's and I've been off for 29 months now and haven't lost a pound. Has anyone had major weight loss the further out from these things they have gotten ??

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment
  • 3 weeks later...

Doing pretty good :)

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment

I was wondering...

I got fat from Ssri's and I've been off for 29 months now and haven't lost a pound. Has anyone had major weight loss the further out from these things they have gotten ??

 

I once lost 60 lbs. It wasn't easy, but I gained it because it didn't understand the science behind why we gain and lose weight. I had no idea what a calorie was or what it meant. Once I learned to count calories religiously, I started losing weight. I also downloaded the Myfitnesspal app and logged everything I ate. Do you have that app. Have you tried counting calories?

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Yes and it's soooooo slow to come off...ugh. in my younger days I could diet and lose but now nothing.

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment

Yes and it's soooooo slow to come off...ugh. in my younger days I could diet and lose but now nothing

When I was trying to lose the weight, I would only eat from places that had nutrition facts and had a very strict amount of ingredients that they included in their food. I ate at subway a lot because they are only allowed to put 3 pieces of meat and a certain numer of pieces of cheese on thier food. All their bread is the same size and I would always ask for light dressing/sauce. Most places, including restaurants vary the amount of each ingredient so you have to add 150 calories or sometimes more. Good luck.

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I don't have the patience to stick with a diet right now lol

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

Well it's July 21st and a few days ago I felt a wave beginning. Funny how you can feel that shift or change and think "uh oh, how bad will it be?"

It isn't great, but I'm trying to stay positive.

I've had stomach issues, tight band around my head, anxiety/worry, and other stuff but it's all right around my period as well so I'm sure the hormonal stuff.dossnt help at all.

I'd had a really good long window of at least a month or more where everything felt 90% good, maybe more.

I know I'm very lucky compared to the mess pail has left some people in.

Just documenting for myself that this too shall pass.

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment

Hugs! :)

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment
  • 4 weeks later...

October 16th will be 3 years from my CT..

What an interesting few years it has been.

At the start I had:

 

Horrible leg pain

Paxil flu (stomach issues cold chills etc)

Crying jags,

Head pressure sooo bad

Racing heart

Brain zaps

Intrusive thoughts

No motivation/sort of like depression

Anxiety ×''s 1000

Back pain

Insomnia

 

I'm sure I'm forgetting some of it but I also felt very restless and nervous.

 

Over these almost 3 years I have improved a lot, but I still follow the windows and waves pattern.

I had an awesome month not too long ago where I felt about 90% healed, everything wasn't perfect but it was pretty close. Then a wave hit and things feel pretty bad again.

I don't get many brain zaps at all....

Head pressure doesn't happen as much

 

I sleep pretty well 99% of the time.

I can deal with the waves myself more often than not, used to be I'd have to cry and talk to my mom and need support to get through it, so I know that has improved greatly.

 

I just want it to all dry up soon...

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi ColdTurkMama,

 

You are really hanging in there. That is AMAZING.  

 

"doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. "

  I can relate! ! ! ! ! :)

 

Keep on keeping on. :)

 

2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, 

I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever.

 

2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds.

2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better

 

Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.)

"You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa

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CT.   This is a great update. As a fellow C/T , I can relate and have had a lot of the same symptoms at times. You will most likely continue to have windows and waves but hopefully the waves will be milder in intensity and shorter in duration. I have found it to be that way. It just gets better.

 

It shows healing is happening and I hope it continues in a positive way for you. :) 

Ali

Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014

 

                                                  Psych Drug - free since May 2014
.
         

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Thanks guys :) it can be discouraging at times but I ended up having a great day.

I hope you both are doing well!

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Hi CTM,

 

I've been reading a bit of your thread. I'm glad to hear that you had a nice long window. Has your wave and window pattern been getting better where you have more windows and less waves?

 

I'm a baby CT. Only 3 months out. It scares me to read the lenght of time so many people who have CT'd have to deal with this horror. It also gives me hope to see that things do improve. I just have to give myself time. Unfortunately I'm alos on a couple of other drugs and one of them is causing me problems. I'm going to have to start tapering my clonazepam soon and I'm so worried it is going to send my WD sxs through the roof. 

 

I also experience the crazy before period waves. I don't find them impressive at all either. I would like it if they would just go away and leave me alone, all of us women alone would be best. Go find someone else to bother :)

 

I hope your wave passes soon.

 

Hugs and healing

Buspirone to 45mg, Cold Turkey St. John's Wort 600mg Jan 1, 2016. Cold Turkey Buproprion 150SR June 1 due to severe Akathisia that did not decrease with reducing the dosage.

Clonazepam 1.25mg, started daily liquid micro taper of clonazepam on Nov 1, 2016. Changed to sxs based taper 01/17. Slow and steady

11/10/16 .4104 3X day; 11/17/16 .4091 3x day; 11/28/16 .406 3x day; 12/4/16 .404 3x day; 12/11/16 .4028 3x

01/12/17 .39267 3x day holding; 02/25/17 .3902 3x day, holding. .3823mg 3x day. Tapering at .0007462mg as able;  09/21/18 .3542mg 3x day.  1/3/2019 .339mg 3x day. 6/25/19 .3307mg 3x day. 8/24/19 .317mg 3x day 2/13/20 .2886mg 3x day 3/18/21 .2388mg 3x day 06/17/21 .2239mg 3x day 09/13/22 .1682 3x day

L-theanine 200 mg, L-glycine 500mg 1x day and 1000mg 1x day, vit C 1000 mg sustained release 2x day. Fish oil 1800mg EPA + DHA. Vit E 400 IU, magnesium in various forms. Inositol 3x a day abt 14mg, Taurine 500mg.

5/20/16 Using Cranial Eletrotherapy Stimulation. 2x day 1 hour at level 1. Using Alph-Stim AID. 

 

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Thank you! I am keeping the faith and pressing through. :)

I wish the best for you.

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

Thank you! I am keeping the faith and pressing through. :)

I wish the best for you.

hi coldturkmama, do you think any symptom that you felt from the beggining has gone for good? or when a wave hits, you feel pretty much the same as in accute wd?

(i'm brazlian so please, ignore spelling mistakes) 2015 the beggining of the year started with effexor xr 37,5

went up to 300mgs

in october of 2015 quitted COLD TURKEY/took olanzapine 5mgs for 2 weeks around november/ reinstated effexor in january of 2016

in march of 2016 was at 300mg again

in may tappered effexor xr and added trazodone 150mgs, seroquel 50mgs and abilify 10 mgs/in july cold turkey from abilify (no big deal)

in september tried reducing trazadone to 50mg

after 2 weeks went back to 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel and added 2 mgs of klonopin to use WHEN NEEDEED

currently taking 150mgs of trazadone and 50 mgs of seroquel at night

 

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Well, I know that the symptoms have changed a lot from what they were. I hardly ever get the paxil flu stuff any more (stomach issues, chills, etc).

I thought the brain zaps were gone but they came back, but usually only 1 or 2 a day. I used to have horrible head pressure but now I only get that once in a while, but when I do it seems SO bad because I after not having it, it just is so cappy to have it back.

I still get insomnia once in a while but not like before. Before I'd wake up at 3 a.m. every morning for hours and it would last for weeks. Now I get a lot more sleep but will wake up wide awake at 4 or 5 some times but not often.

I get waves of pain, where I'll feel worse emotionally and great pain wise but when the pain goes away the emotional stuff is worse. So weird

 

I would say compared to so many people, especially cold turkey from 14 or 15 yrs of paxil , I'm doing good.

Paxil 20mg from 1998-2011 

Paxil 40mg from 2011-2012 while experiencing poopout

October 2013 quit cold turkey

Oct-mid Nov 2013 great window

Late November WD nightmare 

Windows and waves pattern 

Now: 28 months cold turkey...doing decent learning to deal with the windows/waves pattern fighting it every step of the way. 

Link to comment
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