success ☼ scottly9999: Lexapro nightmare

[scottly9999]

Update

Not much change.

Mood has mostly been very flat, not much motivation.

Work has been stressful - but thats also a fairly new-ish thing... where I'm CARING about work a lot more.

Whereas in the middle of a higher dose of Lexapro my thinking was very much not connected to previous events, or future events, in a way - just the here and now - YET at th esame time slightly disconnected.

I've had some issues with a niggly wisdom tooth, so not sure if feelign rundown and under the weather is coming from that?

It feels mentally as if the Lexapro has worn off mostly, but emotionally, still blunt and flat.

There is still "something missing" or "blocked"..

It just bugs me that it won't come back.

Can't put my finger on it.

 

Who has had that feeling, and did it return?  Was it months and months after finally finishing all SSRI's?

I was hoping it would be mostly back by now on just 1mg of Lexapro.

 

Going down from 2 cups of coffee to 1 for a bit too.

 

Also getting moments of DR, but for years it's mostly felt as if I'm in a constant state of DR with the numbness and meh.

 

I just wish there was a switch I could press to make it go away.

[LexAnger]

Scott,

 

I would consider you a success so far. I'm at much higher dose still with a much slower taper but having lot more and severe symptoms.

 

So I want to congratulate you on the achievement.

 

I have a feeling your rest taper will be rather fast and smooth too.

[scottly9999]

THanks Lex!!!!!!

 

NOt quite so sure, it's been fairly bumpy the last few months - so I really need to take it easy.

I've got a stressful and busy work trip in a few weeks - and need to be as good as possible for that.

 

I think this might be th elongest I've held a dose level.

 

It feels like it's evening out a bit, so the waves or effects aren't AS powerful.

I feeling of being quite run down physicall, and fatigue is the worst... I'm adjusting my diet to lower caffeine and sugar - which seems to help a bit.

 

Thank you for the congrats!!!!!

 

You seem to have gotten over a nasty spell yourself... you ahd terrible jaw pain and needling for a LONG time if I recall correctly, then started getting better.

 

My overall worry at the moment is if the feeling of numbness will ever go away?  WIll I get back to my directly connected feeling of being me??

It's so subtle, yet strong at the same time.

A distinct feeling something is missing.

[scottly9999]

Update

I think I'm beginning to stabilize quite nicely

I've reduced caffeine intake, and still at 1mg.  And have been since April 19th.

I'm into my 6th week at 1mg.  I needed this breather.

I've got a stressful week starting June 6th - so will continue at 1mg.

Brain feels like it's working better.  THinking clearer.

Athough there is more "noise" in my mind - more "clutter" - which is more like how I used to be, as opposed to deathly quiet - with tumbleweeds!!!

 

It does feel like the drug is less in my system.

 

Fingers crossed I stay stable for a few more weeks at 1mg, then time to goto 0.8mg

I just can't meausre it any smaller.

Each time I've dropped by that amount, I never seem to notice it, it's such a MICRO small difference in the amount of liquid.

[bubble]

Hello Scottly,

 

I've been following your progress with particular interest for reasons which will be obvious if you have a look at my signature. I'm glad that you are doing well but I'm also concerned by your tendency to rush things.

 

Lexapro is such a potent drug and all drugs cause more upheaval on lower doses. Have you seen the charts in this thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6036-why-taper-paper-demonstrates-importance-of-gradual-change-in-plasma-concentration/

 

Decrease from 1 to 0.8 mg is 20 % decrease. You are probably not using a self-made liquid but I'm sure there should be a way to get smaller reductions.

 

I think that holds at this point due you more good that chasing lower levels of the drug which you seem to blame for numbness. I am a big fan of holds during which our brain is regrowing and healing so I came here now to promote even more holding. Maybe it will help with numbness and brain fog...

 

Take care.

 

Bubble

[scottly9999]

Hi bubbles

Thank is for the info.

I think my last post I was sort of trying to say that this is one of the longest holds I've done so far, and my body seems to be thanking me so far. Minimal WD and easing. Mind has been clearer.

Numbness has lifted slightly.

Due to this, I've got no desire to rush anything.

I'll even try and make my own diluted liquid to make smaller cuts.

[bubble]

That sounds great! I think it will help a lot and prevent crashes which you used to have...

[scottly9999]

Update.

The longer I'm holding at 1mg - the better I seem to be feeling.

just feel ok, and gradually more like my old self.

Most of the WD symptoms have eased right off.

 

I had a bit of a bad news day yesterday, and found my mother's health declinded rapidly while in a nursing home.

Seeing her quite weak was upsetting, but didn't affect me until later - and it was "nice" to experience that more than I would have in the past.

It's only then that I can see how damn numbing these SSRI's are.  horrid.

 

Overall, doing good.

[scottly9999]

Update time

It's been quite a while - almost a month!

 

My work trip went ok.

Although after being at 1mg for nearly 2 months, I started to feel "flat", can't explain it any other way - very "ho hum" about being in a nice hotel, and in new surroundings.

I decided 2 days into trip to goto 0.8mg

Yes, it's a 20% drop, but the PHYSICAL amount of liquid is just SO TINY, it's less than 1mm on the syringe.

I can't say I really noticed much - maybe slightly a bit of an "up" that gave me energy to get through it all... it's very tiring!!

BEing on feet for 7 days straight, and although Hotel was nice, it's not home, and not my bed.

 

I had a few days off afterwards too, which was also good.

it wasn't until about 2 weeks later that I got a mild amount of muscle and body aches... something I've not had for a few months now.

They were mild, but noticable... much milder than previously.

 

And as of about 2-3 days ago, a slight drop in mood, very "blah"...

I was travelling pretty much ok until then.

I'm about 3 weeks into 0.8mg drop from 1mg.

I think I've survived quite well, I'll wait for mood to come better, and think about 0.6mg

 

I know I'm going to see a rush of statements that it's a huge drop, I think I can cope with it... as I've said, it's literally LESS than 1mm on the syringe.

It's so tiny that I doubt my body will properly notice it.

 

Overall, doing quite well.

STILL feel slightly muted - sort of like you're on auto pilot a lot, and not really noticing environment.

Hard to explain, but thats been constant since Lexapro - hope it's not just "getting older".

[LexAnger]

Hi Scott,

 

It's been a while. Sorry I couldn't make a sound here, going through very tough times.

 

Guess what, I reread your entire thread in the past 3 hours, and enjoyed your styles and the way you express WD feeling me sensations.

It's inspiring to me seeing you travel along in the past year and half making solid progress!

 

I believe you will survive each of the future rounds like you did in the past. I'm glad you are doing smaller cut. You are so close and a few more months won't be a big deal just to be safer, so why not.

 

So you started 0.8mg 3 weeks ago?

 

Best of luck as always,

 

Lex

[scottly9999]

Small Update

I was doing well on 0.8mg - mild symptoms at most.  A day of leg aches, very mild fatigue.

mild - barely even noticable mood swings.

As of 5 days ago I'm on 0.6mg

And again - not much to report at all.

I'll still hold for a month - as that seems to be my body's preferred holding length.

 

I can see light at the end of the tunnel.

I've had fleeting moments of feeling quite strong emotions - but just normal every day stuff, like feeling content sitting on couch at evening with family - the way it USED to just feel all the time... but went away on Lexapro.

So I have high hopes that it'll return.

 

I wouldn't say I'm any happier, just getting closer and closer to feeling like me again.

 

Hope everybody else is having some windows!!!

[Altostrata]

Very good to hear your taper is going well, scottly.

[scottly9999]

Small update again.

Again - not much to say - except that I'm feeling better, more feeling of contentment coming back to me - not all the time, but getting more windows of feeling MORE normal - occassionally I get the numbness come back, but not for long.

Looking back over the last 2 years of my "taper" which included doubling the dose and playing around, I can see back more clearly now that even when I was "ok", I wasn't really ok... well sort of ok, but no where NEAR as ok as now.

as when you're numbed out like SSRI's make you (and when you are there, you lose all perspective) when you get some emotions back, it's better than NONE.

So at night last winter I was quite anxiously depressed, but mostly subconsciously and in the background.

A lot of that has evaporated now.

I'm generally feeling more positive about the future and myself in general.

and can appreciate my family more - I always did, but now I'm feeling it again...

I found that any self-help books while on Lexapro was a total waste of time, as you were always MEH, and none of it registered properly.

I've even teared up at happy moments on tv shows and movies.

 

Still got a way to go yet, but feels like the road is going to be much easier to travel.

slow and steady.

I'm on 0.6mg and have been for a couple of weeks now, and will wait a few more before attempting 0.4

Thats not even a single drop of liquid.

 

I really hope my message helps others that we CAN get there!!!!

[LexAnger]

Wonderful update!

I'm so happy for you and inspired and encouraged by your great success!

 

Best luck to the rest and last tail of the incredible journey!

 

Hugs,

Lex

[scottly9999]

Small Update

I seem to have developed some physical WD.

The usual.

I've had fairly annoyingly bad jaw pain - building over a few days to a week.

feels like I might have been grinding my teeth at night or similar - jaw quite sensitive and bite doesn't feel quite right - hard to know of it's from Lex.

Also had another mouth ulcer - agagin - always seem to get these after a drop in dose.

And a general MEH feeling - like I'm slightly unwell.

More regular headaches - bit of a pressure type, could be related to jaw.

Overall - quite mild, but it's there none the less.  I really cannot manage smaller drops on the liquid I'm on.

If this is the worst - then I'll be ok.

 

I've noticed at these low dose levels, and the large percentage drops - the WD's seem to take 1-2 weeks to take hold... so slower and longer holds required.

[scottly9999]

Hi People.

Bit of an update - seem to have dipped in mood a bit.

Def noticing similar patterns, but slower to take effect.

Even when I'm pretty good, It still does feel like something is blocked somewhere.

I really hope I get to be like my old self again.

It's not a HUGE dip in mood, but def a moderate level of depression.

still at 0.6mg will be a little while yet.

[scottly9999]

Update.

Mood is slowly stabilizing - it's annoying as it has a life of it's own in WD - I used to be quite good at balancing my moods.

Now they sort of do their own thing.

Even when I'm "good", it still feels like somethnig is missing... a thing that I don't ever recall feeling or sensing before Lexapro.

Is that common?  it's my biggest issue with the meds - it's the one thing that seems constant since I went on them.

Is that the numbness?  Who knows?

I have to have faith it'll return.

 

I've also been compulsively clicking my jaw for months, but as of last week or it's got painful - feels a LOT tighter than normal.  I get a sudden shooting pain (not REALLY bad, but enough) I can't make it happen, sort of happens on its own.  Feels like the TMJ isn't functioning quite right - it's giving me a few tension type headaches too which is annoying.

 

On the whole I feel I've lost so much of what makes up me.

I used to be very intuitive about myself and feelings and emotions - I'd easily get overwhelmed with stress (which is what got me on the stupid Lexapro in the first place), but overall, I read a LOT of self-help books years ago.

Now I feel quite lost, and unsure of myself.

I used to really like looking forward to watching a TV show, or movie, or playing a game, or just lots of little things that I enjoyed, now it's very "rote" and by the numbers.

 

I can honestly say that apart from losing my Dad suddenly 4 years ago, being on Lexapro is the WORST thing that has ever happened to me, and the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with.

[scottly9999]

Update.

Having almost used my current bottle of liquid, needed a repeat prescription.

I booked the local GP clinic that does bulk billing.  So it's a pot-luck for what GP you'll see.

I saw a GP that I've seen once or twice recently.

I said I'm after a repeat of Lexapro liquid - he looked up my file and was like "Whats this 'weaning'?"

I said what do you mean?

He repeated "why the weaning?  why so much?"

I said I have had to go very slow to get off this drug - I wish I was never given it.  I feel like a zombie on it, and feel like my almost dying if I don't take it.

I've been going as quick as I can, which is almost 2 years now...

He looked at me VERY skeptically.

He then said "People stop in 1 month - why you weaning for so long??"

By this time I'm like "Can I just have a repeat please?"
He then started quizzing me on "Do you take any other medications that is causing this??"
I said nope, just this Lexapro.

I said I guess I'm just a part of an unlucky group that is extremely sensitive to this type of drug, my wife had dropped HUGE amounts of Citalopram with quite mild discomfort that passes in a month.

I explained that - but really he was getting suspicious of me - and I was getting frustrated with him.

 

Dropped script off at local chemist - they order in the liquid and pick it up next day.

 

My jaw problems have SLOWLY eased, but I've had a few days of headaches - today is particularly bad.

 

Slight mood swings - but only quite mild.  I'm in a slight "up" phase currently.

I always seem to feel much better after a dip in mood - almost like a hurdle or step that has to be passed before I get to feel better.

 

Getting little glimpses again of my normal self - in windows or passing moments - not sure exactly how to describe it, but little reminders of what I can look forward to I guess.

 

Still on 0.6mg, and will be for another few weeks I think.

 

 

[nz11]

Wow great tapering you are almost there.

 

Yep these doctors sure are a disappointment.

[scottly9999]

Hi Guys

 

Update - important to update the good as well as the bad.

I'm in a window currently - a lovely warm clear window.

No WD symptoms at all.

In fact i can slowly feel the drug having less effect too - came on over a few days, slowly getting small and tiny emotions JUST about coming through - just little things like I used to like rainy days - and the nice feeling watching the rain coming down - is almost back.

Just feels more solid and here.

It's good.

I hope this window is what I can look forward to once I'm finished.

BUT still too early to get hopes fully up that I'm done - as I've seen before, just because you can't notice the drug, doesn't mean your system isn't still dependant on it.

 

BUt for now I'm quite happy - and feeling fairly content too.

[ChessieCat]

[LexAnger]

So great to hear!

Wonderful update!

[scottly9999]

Update time.

Had a bit of a dip again lately.

Been struggling with a few negative type emotions that have been bubbling upto the surface - feels like nasty emotions I had years ago when I was uphappy for a while.

The wife went awway for a planned weekend with friends - but I was struck down with very strong feelings of loneliness and isolation, even though I had my daughter for company - she is a bright little spark.

Had a nice day with her, but in the background, thsi nagging loneliness wouldn't go away.

It slowly eased over the weekend.

It was the sort of loneliness that doesn't lift with friends around - so really was a side of depression.

Came on quite quickly.

I think I'm getting there, but wish I could just finish my journey already.

Still at 0.6mg - haven't stabilized yet - as these mood swings have proven.

[Junglechicken]

"It was the sort of loneliness that doesn't lift with friends around - so really was a side of depression"

 

I think this is one of the worst emotions (numbness) we experience during WD. This is something I have also gone through and it is awful.

 

We might as well be sitting on the sidelines of life while it happens before our eyes....a form of voyeur.

 

We are present physically but not mentally or emotionally.

[scottly9999]

Update time.

It's been a while.

Mostly small ups and downs, nothing too major.

Although felt like I'd slid back a slight bit - have been at 0.6mg for about 2 months or so at least...

About 4-5 days ago I've gone to 0.4mg

Symptoms have been minimal so far - but lower doses seem to take longer for WD to take hold... the one thing I've got currently is a MASSIVVE MASSIVE headache... but I'm dealing with it.

Also - one of the other things that has flared up again is the annoying crush!

I don't think it's mutual and regardless it's irrelevant anyway!

I do wish it would go away.. although it's a bit of a boost for the ego to be early 40's and a much younger lady that showed a bit of interest.

Trying to move past it.

 

When I dropped to 0.4mg over last few days, again had a VERY SLIGHT feeling of more realness about the world and my reactions to it... I really do hope that comes back properly.

I wouldn't call it a numbness but a feeling of being in a small bubble.  Thats the one thing I REALLY want to go away the most.

 

I'm doing ok though - WD's have been much easier to cope with the slower I've gone and the smaller the drops - yes percentage wise they've been big.

 

Hope everybody else is doing ok.

[LexAnger]

Great update indeed!

So far so good, happy for you!

 

Interesting about the crush. I had periods of strong feeling I that area too, considering it a good thing giving the long lost fun. Lucky for me being single so no struggle.

 

I'm doing much better too with the rather fast taper even not as fast as yours, down to 1.6 mg now.

 

Best luck to all of us.

[AliG]

 Well done Scott.

[scottly9999]

Hi Guys

 

Update time.

Thanks for the comments "FSL".

The crush seems to be fading slightly - only slightly...

I still have a vague feeling of being JUST NOT QUITE right - like something is still missing, like I'm not really responding to or having emotions about my environment...

I really hope that returns, I can almost remember it - and I hope it's not just "getting older".

 

Overall, have been mostly ok.  I can tell I'm usually doing well when I don't think about my situation (or the S.A. boards) too much.

 

One thing that has come absolutely FLYING back is my libido.... gosh...

It's actually been a bit of an issue... poor wife hasn't known whats going on, it's been very low for so long.

For about 2-3 weeks was out of control!!!!!!!

As of last 2-3 days though - zero... not sure if I've got hayfever - as normally never get it, but feel completely flattened..

itchy eyes, itchy nose, sinus and throat... and tickly cough... and extreme fatigue.

Last night I went to bed aroudn 7:30pm - even that was a struggle to stay awake that long.

And today - extremely fatigued too, physically and mentally... just doing what I can to get through the day.

Emotions have followed this feeling too - so feel quite flat and BLAH.

They say it's worst hayfever in Melbourne for 50+ years.

 

I'll just take it easy for the time being.

[scottly9999]

Another update.

Not too many changes in mood... seems relatively stable, although was flat yesterday and last night.

 

Libido is back to normal - whatever THAT is!???

My wife has been amazing during that time too... so loving.

She's awesome.  I tell her daily how much I love her, and how beautiful she is.  We really do for the most part add to each other so much.

 

One thing that just won't seem to go away is this crush / limerence....

it comes and goes ...

I've always felt comfortable talking to women - moreso once I was in my mid-late twenties.

Before that SUPER awkward and geeky.

 

Now - this person - work collegue - in another state a long way away... have been very friendly with.

I was HOPING to be-friend her, get the "friendzone" signals and land in the friendzone arrivals area and it would fizzle out.

It sort of did a while ago...

but if I didn't contact her (during work time via email) she would "ping" me a little message "Hi - bored"...

Hard to resist replying.

So I would.

it would be all about food, work stuff, little jokes and stuff like that.

Not much personal.

Friended on facebook about a year ago.

This is ntohing I woulnd't do with plenty of female friends and work collegues.  My wife knows I'm chatty and personable to just about anybody.

Even her friends, I'll sit and chat with when they visit..  It's not out of character for me.

Gradually over time, she will often be the first person to LIKE a post or comment I make on FB... but never ones relating to my kids or family.  She's EXTREMELY careful what things she will comment on or like....  which is odd.

 

I was hoping it was a stupid one-sided attraction thing... but appears not quite that way.   Sometimes she will bombard me with emails, or silly jokes... other times, not much at all...

I send out a daily joke list to a lot of people - she's on the list.

Agian - I'm TRYING to be FRIENDLY with her and hope it'll just friendzone itself....

 

We are 18 years age difference!!!  I'm young for my age, but not 18 years young.

Doing my head in.

We have little if anything in common.

 

I think it's a combination of a few things.

I rarely had interest from a girl that I'd like - sometimes from some girls, but wasn't interested back..  Usually I wouldn't realize they were into me - until like a week later and I'd be like D'OH!!!

And if I remember - I would occassionally fall for a girl pretty hard.... no logic involved.

I think this is really because she is very pretty and young, and I detected a few early signs she might be into me (which I STILL can't work out why ----) and that has got stuck on an endless loop.... it didn't make sense, how and why?

I need answers dammit!

 

So it's not about her, it's about me.

I do feel its somehow related to WD too, as the feeling gets pretty intense... then eases away again.

In WD we get all sorts of emotions coming and going - I think it was a perfect storm conditions...

Also from HER perspective, from what I can gather - she is with her only boyfriend - of 4 years or so, and didn't have many friends at end of high school... so the attention I've given her - might have stoked her interest too.

Maybe she's just flattered that I guy is into her, and is just enjoying it for what it is... dunno.

 

I REALLY HAVE NO IDEA - and ultimately it doesn't matter.... Just need it to fizzle out.

 

It's going to be impossible to cut her out completely now.

My work mates kinda know this - but not the depth of it, and will tease me about it.

She's quite a blokey tom-boy type of girl.

There has been the occasional name tagging of funny pic - thats appropriate to a recent conversation, but nothing more... and nothing I wouldn't do with a mate anyway.

 

The way I see it, most women know if a guy is interested in them, and if they aren't interested back - they show subtle and non-subtle red-flags...

I've not seen any red-flags... and I'm pretty sure women can gauge interest from guys pretty well.

I WOULD NEVER cheat or so anything with this "girl".  Hand on heart!

 

I hate this - as it's taking my mind out of the moment constantly and is a distraction pretty much most of the day.

I'll need to start limiting contact with her, and gradually pull back.

I've even considered actually just writing a letter and explaining whats going on -but that would be awkward for her, and she didn't ask for this either.  Maybe it could explain why I need to pull away???

I wouldn't mention anti-depressants or WD etc etc...

 

Apart from that - and some mild mood swings related to it, I've been pretty good.

My Jaw pain has gone away.

Need to sort out sleep clinic as I'm positive I have sleep apnea which is causing me to have poor sleep quality.

So tired from that.

 

Sorry for a boring self-indulgent post!!!

 

Hope everybody is going well (as well as possible) in their WD journey - and it's the WEEKEND!!!! YAY!.

Edited October 8, 2016 by ChessieCat
removed obcsenity

[ChessieCat]

I wouldn't be too worried about it and I don't think it's that uncommon.  Possibly just feels more intense because of the neuro emotions.  I've had several big crushes during my life but never cheated.  The biggest one I had was over a machine repairman who I got on with really well.  He took me out to lunch as a farewell when I was 8 months pregnant and on the drive back to work asked if I wanted to pull over in the car (I don't think he even said for a chat).  I said no, because I knew I would have ended up kissing him.

[scottly9999]

Thanks ChessieCat... short but intense story!

I'm a 41 year old grown man - I've got hobbies and interests and family that I won't to invest my time and resources into, but I KEEP obsessing over a young woman if she likes me or not!

FFS!!!!  ARGH!

I've got better things to do with my time - stupid brain.

Plus it's plain exhausting.

I'd rather be excited for new games coming out, or football team playing, or playing guitar.. or reading interesting, thought provoking articles... or fully being in the moment with my family.

 

I'm not sure what started first... my actual attraction for her - just looks and cheeky teasing personality... or the fact that... this happened:

Me interstate on work.

mixing with everybody...

kept bumping into her - little comments here and there...

turn around one morning, there she is closer than normal.. she was holding her back...

I asked if she was ok, she said her back was sore and wince.

I said I've got some tablets if you'd like??
She bit her lip and said she'd much prefer a backrub....

OKAY............. I turned around to goto my bag...

I laughed "I assume you mean from somebody proper... and walked to my bag...."

she didn't say anything, I rummaged for tablets and handed them to her and got her a cup of water.

 

It's been back and forth for 18 months, and sort of building in last 6-8 weeks... but she's suddenly gone a bit quiet.

 

Thanks again for your reply ChessieCat..!

[ChessieCat]

It probably happens more than you realise, except that it either doesn't get talked about or people act on it.  I can understand how exhausting it must make you feel, although I can see the funny side of it.  Now that she's gone quiet might be the appropriate time for you to go quiet too so that it can fizzle out naturally with no awkwardness.

 

Another one of my crushes was on a guy at church who used to make me feel weak at the knees.  This was in my mid-30's.  He wasn't much to look at, we didn't have any interaction and I don't know if he knew of my existence, but there was just something about him that attracted me.  BTW I was 28 and had been married for 5 years when the previously mentioned incident occurred.  The main thing is that you haven't acted on it.  It sounds like even the initial incident was handled appropriately by you.  It could have turned out so different and with disastrous consequences!

[scottly9999]

Hi Chessie - Oh I'm certain they do happen often.

Just annoying... normally they don't last particularly long.

You either find out they don't have similar feels at ALL (and you get shutdown), or you learn more about them and you go "yeah nah!!!"

Esp with age and distance and cultural differences - I thought that would happen... very unfamiliar territory for me.

Having less contact is really the only way that this person will be in my head less.

It's pretty much that simple... can't stop liking them, or them me, but can control how I react.

 

The initial incident was handled coz I'm a dumbo with these things anyway.

It's about a week later that I think about it and go "Oh - wait - WHAT!???"

[LexAnger]

From perspective of WD, it's a great sign

[reachingforthestars]

Hi Scottly!

 

I read that there are the same serotonin receptors in smooth muscle tissue as in the CNS that are targeted by SSRI. The location of the smooth muscle tissue in the body is in the walls of the hollow internal structures such as blood vessels, airways to the lungs, intestines, gallbladder, urinary bladder and stomach. Maybe you don't have sleep apnea but the smooth muscle tissue of your airways to the lungs are just in the middle of adapting the new levels of SSRI? I have had many times some minor breathing difficulties during my WD but they always have resolved. 

 

I think that you are very lucky that even tough you have some sort of anhedonia since looks like it hasn't affected to your ability to love your closest people. I'm not that lucky

 

How would you describe that feeling of crush you have? Romantic kind or just sexual trigger or something else?

 

I have developed some sort of hyper sexuality and i have become very very easily aroused by visual triggers. This is definitely neuro emotions what I'm going through since this started when i reached to 2,4mg and I wasn't like this before meds and when I was on the full dose of 40mg citalopram my sexual appetite was close to nonexisting.

 

Wish you fast healing!!

 

R

[scottly9999]

Hi Reaching - thanks for the comments...

Although sadly my sleep apnea pre-dates any SSRI's....

even long ago before I put on a bit of weight... I think I am CLASSIC case of it.

even when younger and slimmer - if I slept in a shared room, most people would regale the tales of how bad I was at night...

BUT it's a VERY interesting topic you raised for sure!!!

 

I don't think I've got Anhedonia so much now - as I can feel my emotions working mostly, it's a SLIGHTLY disconnected feeling from my surroundings and environment, it's constantly like it...

every so often I'll get a GLIMPSE of it easing up, but not sure if I'm imaging it or not.

I've definately been experiencing returning romantic feels for my wife for sure... and to complicate things, that stupid crush thing...

It's really not a sexual thing - it SOMETIMES goes that way, but mostly it's not.  It's plain exhausting is what it is.  

It is more romantic "does she like me" stuff...

 

For about 3-4 weeks I was hyper sexual for sure... my poor wife!!!

It's eased RIGHT back now.

I've actually become more easily aroused by MENTAL triggers more than anythign - and more than in the past too.

 

 

And LexAnger - I guess yes, returning emotions means ALL emotions, not just the ones we want....!!!