ikam: tapering escitalopram

[ikam]

The pain re-started...pretty bad...have a doc appointment soon...took buscopan, it seems better now...

[ikam]

Just read something that is indicative of kidney stones "Waves of sharp pain in your back and side or lower abdomen The pain may move toward the groin"

I worry that the doctor will just leave me like this...

I have had it since well before Christmas, increasingly worse...

[ikam]

it was ok, i have more painkillers, as nothing could be investigated just now...she thinks it may be due to possible kidney stones...this explains the pain...

 

so now i have three referrals, usg, colonoscopy and urologist/or ct scan, but she was not sure if she could refer for ct scan, or it needs to be consultant...

[pocketnurse]

Ikram

 

don't beat yourself up about refusing investigations a couple of months ago, you don't need that kind of stress. I know you are a little older than me but it could be hormonal related too as in menopausal! Your pain seems to have gone on for quite some time but has changed, read up on "menopause arthritis" that is the old fashioned term but it is till used to describe this type of pain.

All you can do is hang in there until your scan and colonoscopy. If this is all ok (I am confident it will) ten you may need an MRI of your back to check for disc damage or other lower back problems.

 

xxPN

[ikam]

Thanks. Yes, it could be menopause arthritis as well...

Since taking iron + changing diet my hands are better...

 

The painkillers just mask the problem, and the pain is back...throbbing again...

Doctor said to take them four times a day...I resist, but maybe this is what I have to do? I have side effects, mostly drowsiness, faster heart rate, sleeping worse...

I was surprised as she asked me to call her on Tuesday to tell her how I am...nice feeling...that she cares more than i think...

[ikam]

I feel a bit like failing by agreeing to taking stronger painkillers. I used to be addicted to codeine, but as I cannot take any antinflamatory meds, this is the only choice I have at present...

 

The pain gets as bad as 10 out of 10 in times, and I dont know how to cope with it anymore...

[ikam]

Just found this:

Inability to Sit

If the kidney stones are large and aggravating, the patient will be unable to sit or lay down in a comfortable position due to the pressure on that area. This is why many people afflicted with kidney stones often stand up and pace.

 

It is always triggered when I sit down...

[ikam]

Last night when I went to bed I wished that...(sorry)...I would be diagnosed with a cancer and I will die this year. This thought was comforting and calming...I am tired of pain, tired of unresolved situations, tired of the vision that it will take me at least 5 years to get off Escitalopram, tired of dealing with everything on my own, tired of ongoing physical pain which makes me feeling so powerless...

I don't want to be alive, see no sense in my existence...

[pocketnurse]

Ikam

 

Hold on there, you will get through this. There were times when at my worst I could see no future and I was enveloped in fear and despair but here I am now no longer feeling that bad. You will get through this. You have to take life day by day and try to accept that things will get better because they will.

 

Sending hugs

 

PN xx

[brassmonkey]

Hi Ikam-- I'm sorry to hear that you're so down right now, it's a really frustrating process that's for sure.  In the grand scheme things this whole time will just be a blip in your life and given a chance will pass amazingly quickly. It may not seem that way at the time, but it does go quickly.  Right now you're in the beginning stages of getting your body used to the changes and learning how to cope with them.  As more time passes things will get better.  Slowly at first and then faster and faster until you're feeling better more often than your feeling bad.

 

You don't need a cancer dx to justify feeling bad.  You're in the midst of a very nasty drug recovery that will take a lot to get through.  Get frustrated, rant, rave, scream and shout, but never give up because the other side is approaching off in the distance and pretty soon you'll start to get glimpses of it.  You're never alone in this, you have over 6000 friends right here that understand and are cheering you on.

 

(((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))

 

Brass

[KarenB]

Hello Ikam,

 

So much has happened on your thread since I last looked in!  The iron issue jumped out at me as I've had issues with that too.  In the end I found that iron deficiency is caused by antidepressants.  I now take a good supplement and my energy has increased a lot.  I imagine I'll have to take it until I'm off the drugs. 

 

Let us know how things go, or about any results you get.  Hope things are improving little by little.

[ikam]

Hello Ikam,

 

So much has happened on your thread since I last looked in!  The iron issue jumped out at me as I've had issues with that too.  In the end I found that iron deficiency is caused by antidepressants.  I now take a good supplement and my energy has increased a lot.  I imagine I'll have to take it until I'm off the drugs. 

 

Let us know how things go, or about any results you get.  Hope things are improving little by little.

 

Hi Karen,

I also think that iron is related either to AD/WD or PPI. Moreover I cannot eat everything/problem with digestion. I also had a long term stress, etc, etc.

But doctors will always think it must be internal bleeding, as they cannot see other reasons as valid enough. So I will do a colonoscopy; only worried if anything goes wrong, or I will respond badly to preparation meds.

I seem to be moving from pain to pain- sciatica has been replaced with groin pain...I have been taking stronger painkillers for this, it is not good...

I have found Iron supplement that does not upset me, it is called Ionic Liquid Iron. I am able to take now 0.5ml twice a day...I have also changed my diet, as per my naturopath suggestions, I don't eat bread and wheat products anymore, reduced carbs, I have a protein and green vegs + vegetables shake in the morning. I try to eat more fish and veg...

I have other supplements as well: MegaMag Liquid, Burdock Root liquid (few drops), I am gong to start slowly Ionic Liquid Zink. Ah, I also have a higher dose of Turmeric. + I take Epsom Salts baths...

 

Since my consultation with her, two weeks ago, my energy is much, much better. I actually get up from bed before 9am with no problem....

 

So, I am doing better with regards to my energy...but not so good with regards to physical pain...I thought, that maybe I feel more in pain as my nerves may be more "energised"?

[ikam]

Hi Ikam-- I'm sorry to hear that you're so down right now, it's a really frustrating process that's for sure.  In the grand scheme things this whole time will just be a blip in your life and given a chance will pass amazingly quickly. It may not seem that way at the time, but it does go quickly.  Right now you're in the beginning stages of getting your body used to the changes and learning how to cope with them.  As more time passes things will get better.  Slowly at first and then faster and faster until you're feeling better more often than your feeling bad.

 

You don't need a cancer dx to justify feeling bad.  You're in the midst of a very nasty drug recovery that will take a lot to get through.  Get frustrated, rant, rave, scream and shout, but never give up because the other side is approaching off in the distance and pretty soon you'll start to get glimpses of it.  You're never alone in this, you have over 6000 friends right here that understand and are cheering you on.

 

(((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))

 

Brass

 

Brass, thank you ever so much. I try not to complain, as people have their own problems...I am aware that there are many people who feel so lost that they require more support...

 

Last two weeks have been particularly difficult, as they have been full of unexplained physical pain. I am getting my energy back, feel I want to go out, do something (I think the Iron Supplement and the diet work), but my body stops me.

For example, I go out and when walking my feet starts to be painful, I have this pain over one year, it is as if somebody was stabbing me around third toe...so walking stops being a pleasure...

I tend to get up pain free; I felt so great on Friday at work- like a new person- pain free...And it slowly kicked in, started throbbing from the back and moved to my groin...Called GP, had an appointment, she thinks it may be kidney stone...prescribed stronger painkillers and I took them...the pain was gone for a while but I was drugged (yet again...felt as if I failed again...)...

 

I am pain free now, has quite a good day yesterday...but it means not much now, as the pain always arrives at some point...

 

I feel lost, puzzled, I don't know what is what anymore...

I will do all the investigation they suggested, so I also know for myself...

 

I do worry that this pain will stop me performing well at my work; I have already declined. And I have to be in a top form...I cannot stop working. Moreover after 5 years roller-coaster with changing jobs (10+) and accommodation (4 times) this is a very first place that feels settled...I worry I will lose it all if I get ill...

 

I have decided to hold for longer, as I need to be a bit more settled...

[ikam]

Ikam

 

Hold on there, you will get through this. There were times when at my worst I could see no future and I was enveloped in fear and despair but here I am now no longer feeling that bad. You will get through this. You have to take life day by day and try to accept that things will get better because they will.

 

Sending hugs

 

PN xx

 

Hi PN, yes, it is so difficult to  believe that things will get better for me. I move from pain to pain and see no end in this...Apart from "big pains" (sciatica, groin pain), I have smaller, unexplained pains + other symptoms, such as itchy eyes (possibly a histamine effect)...

It feels sometimes that my body will just stop me and I will decline and die...And, as I said, I feel I want to die, as it would finish my misery...

Also, I am just like my mother who has always been ill- now I see this is all to the meds she has been talking...

 

Now, when I could "start" my life, my body stops me...and I still try to "rebel against pains", but I cannot sometimes...

 

January is going to be a busy month for me...I worry that I will not manage...

[Flowers]

Hello Ikam

 

So sorry you feel this way. You have things going on at the moment which are hard to cope with - pain and upcoming hospital investigations. 

 

It would be hard for anyone let alone someone struggling with WD and tapering. You are doing so well in the circumstances going out to work etc.

 

We have seen so many people on here who are doing so well and have felt like you do now in the past.

 

I really want to send you a big hug and the strength to carry on. 

 

There is a better world waiting for all of us out there.

 

Flowers xxx

[ikam]

Hello Ikam

 

So sorry you feel this way. You have things going on at the moment which are hard to cope with - pain and upcoming hospital investigations. 

 

It would be hard for anyone let alone someone struggling with WD and tapering. You are doing so well in the circumstances going out to work etc.

 

We have seen so many people on here who are doing so well and have felt like you do now in the past.

 

I really want to send you a big hug and the strength to carry on. 

 

There is a better world waiting for all of us out there.

 

Flowers xxx

 

Thank you...

I went out for some shopping, the pain was back...feeling really tired now...

Worried about driving tomorrow- my work requires driving every so often...

[Frogie]

Ikam:

 

Just checking in.

I see you have been having a really bad time. I'm so sorry to hear that.

Just think. Maybe you are having all your W/D symptoms at once, and won't have much more. Wouldn't that be nice.

I just started tapering 2 days ago, so we will see how I do. I still have the nausea, but I'm not letting it get the best of me.

 

Hang in there... We are all here to help each other.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[ikam]

Froggie, good luck ????

[Frogie]

Froggie, good luck

Thanks, you too!

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[ikam]

Hi, woke up anxious today, I need to drive around 25 miles and back. I was almost completely pain free yesterday (mistery; maybe because I was takiing long Epsom Salts bath)...

As it is required that I drive to other places in my work, I am worried that I will not be able and I may lose my job as a consequence...

[ikam]

Mistery- I have been almost pain free today...no stabbing, no thobbing...so maybe this was a kidney stone.

I have an urgent CT scan referras, waiting for them to respond to my GP...They called me from my surgery today, really concerned...

[Frogie]

Mistery- I have been almost pain free today...no stabbing, no thobbing...so maybe this was a kidney stone.

I have an urgent CT scan referras, waiting for them to respond to my GP...They called me from my surgery today, really concerned...

That is awesome to hear no pain  

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[ikam]

Bit of pain today...

It has been so difficult to manage Wd/Ad, challenging work, driving + over one year unexplained pain that reaches highest levels in times and left me feeling fearful that it will be back + that I will lose my job, will not be able to earn enough money. Etc, etc...

Moreover, waiting for all the Health investigation is so hard. I just don't know how serious is my problem and I do feel in times that I just want to die, as I am so tired...

My patience is very little, I was always good with pain,but cannot stand it anymore...

My job performance generally life is so affected, I only dream about going back to bed and sleep. I go to bed around 7-8pm...love sleeping!

[ikam]

Took a strong painkiller eventually.

Before I did it I went for a walking, but then my foot was in pain.

So whatever I do I end up with pain...

 

I used to love walking, it was my best strategy to deal with emotions.

But now it brings more pain...

And it makes me feeling so hopeless...

[Frogie]

Took a strong painkiller eventually.

Before I did it I went for a walking, but then my foot was in pain.

So whatever I do I end up with pain...

I used to love walking, it was my best strategy to deal with emotions.

But now it brings more pain...

And it makes me feeling so hopeless...

Don't feel hopeless, you aren't.

You are just going through a rocky W/D, and it will get better.

 

Take care.

Frogie xx

[ikam]

 

Took a strong painkiller eventually.

Before I did it I went for a walking, but then my foot was in pain.

So whatever I do I end up with pain...

I used to love walking, it was my best strategy to deal with emotions.

But now it brings more pain...

And it makes me feeling so hopeless...

Don't feel hopeless, you aren't.

You are just going through a rocky W/D, and it will get better.

 

Take care.

Frogie xx

 

 

Frogie, I only managed o taper by 10% in half a year, so how come WD?

[Frogie]

 

 

Took a strong painkiller eventually.

Before I did it I went for a walking, but then my foot was in pain.

So whatever I do I end up with pain...

I used to love walking, it was my best strategy to deal with emotions.

But now it brings more pain...

And it makes me feeling so hopeless...

 

Don't feel hopeless, you aren't.

You are just going through a rocky W/D, and it will get better.

Take care.

Frogie xx

 

Frogie, I only managed o taper by 10% in half a year, so how come WD?

I'm not an expert or a dr but maybe your body thinks it needs the meds, and makes you suffer, unfortunately.

I wonder if you tapered a tiny bit more, if it would help. I've heard of people doing that. But the mods would know more than me about that.

I really do wish you well.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[ikam]

I was almost pain free yesterday...went to see chiropractor...got more hopeful...until today, what feels like another "pain attack"...really severe...going to see gp...lost hope...

[brassmonkey]

Keep that hope alive Ikam. In the past week, according to your posts, you've had several almost pain free days.  That's wonderful and proves that things will improve.

 

((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

 

Brass

[Flowers]

Did the chiropractor help at all Ikam?

[ikam]

Keep that hope alive Ikam. In the past week, according to your posts, you've had several almost pain free days.  That's wonderful and proves that things will improve.

 

((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

 

Brass

 

 

Did the chiropractor help at all Ikam?

 

The chiropractor just started with me, it was an assessment + beginning of treatment. I have to go twice a week. I felt very calm last night after the treatment,

But the pain was back today morning, almost reaching 10.

That is why I decided to get back to GP. It was yet another doctor, but this time she suggested: sacroiliac joint dysfunction (http://www.spine-health.com/video/sacroiliac-joint-dysfunction-video).

When I read about this it seems what I feel:

While it is not clear how the pain is caused, it is thought that an alteration in the normal joint motion may be the culprit that causes sacroiliac pain. This source of pain can be caused by either:

• Too much movement (hypermobility or instability): The pain is typically felt in the lower back and/or hip and may radiate into groin area.

​I know that I have hypermobility in other joints in my body...

She asked me to do ex-ray, which I hope will show a bit more about the area...

 

I felt so hopeless at work today. But, yes, Brass, you right I have pain free days...and they feel like heaven...

At the moment, until I get a diagnosis, my mind creates catastrophes...and this adds to the pain and increases it...but I am just so tired of it...

 

She prescribed lidocaine plasters...It feels good to know that next time when I have this attack I can use something...

[Flowers]

I have SIJ problems too  Ikam as I mentioned to you in an earlier post. The osteopath I saw recommended exercises which I do when I get the pain and they do help control it. Of course it depends what your problem is  which may show in the XRAY. I am sure the chiropractor will be able to help.

 

Hopefully soon you will be sorted and pain free.

 

xxxx Flowers

[ikam]

This will be so good I am beginning to have my energy back (diet + iron supplement).

I dream about being pain free...

[Flowers]

Your heading in the right direction Ikam!

 

Hugs

 

xxx

[Frogie]

That's awesome to hear!

 

Glad you're doing better.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[ikam]

I have pain free hours , or sometimes a day...these are hopeful times, I feel like a "new born" person...

Then it kicks in, the pain, and I change...

Like it was on Thursday, almost pain free; also I found chiropractor, went for my assessment, came back home so hopeful, slept so well...

Yesterday, it started after 9, I took a painkiller, was in the meeting up to 12, constantly feeling throbbing/stabbing like sensation...I was feeling more and more down, then unable to concentrate afterwards...Left work earlier...managed to contact GP and had an appointment 5:50pm. She was good, she has a different idea than previous 3 doctors and somehow I feel she may be right; her suggestion is that this relates to sacroiliac joint...she is sending me for ex-ray...prescribed lidocaine patches to deal with pain...

 

So when I am in pain I still want to die...as I cannot engage in anything, and also I do not understand why I have this pain...

It has been over one year now...

 

I also have this strange pain in my foot, so every time I go for a walk I feel in pain. This used to be my main strategy to deal with stress and any problems; I used to walk miles. Also, I love walking, I used to climb mountains and was able to walk all day, 9am to 9pm (of course with some breaks)...The chiropractor suggested I go to see a podiatrist...He is right...I am only worried about money, as I will have lots of spending in January (MOT, Service, dentist, tax, accountant + health related matters). I also have to be on a special supplements (iron, proteins, etc).

 

But...

 

If I only was pain free I can manage...

 

So I am in the process of health related investigations (4 different referrals at present)

+ I have to deal with other matters this month...

Sometimes I am just to tired to feel anything else but misery...

 

I want to enjoy my life, I don't think about anything extra, just go for a walk in a nearby park, meet some people, etc.

At the moment I avoid walking, as this means pain, I don't do much at home, as I feel a bit like in a limbo, waiting for all assessments to be done...

The diet seems to be working, I have more energy and this feel so good...

 

I spoke to my manager yesterday, informed people that it may happen that I will need to take time off work...They are really supportive...it feels much easier...

 

I can only take one day at a time, no plans at the moment, just wait for assessments...

 

I feel a bit low today, but more hopeful after seeing GP yesterday and having a different medication for pain...

I am also hopeful in terms of Chiropractic treatment...

And days a beginning to be longer again...I don't like time leading to Christmas, but January means that there is spring time waiting to come, I love springtime. Maybe I will be able to go to Wales this year? Would be great! I did go for a first time last summer and love it...