Cheeky: on Paxil for 23 years needing advice

[DaveB]

10 minutes ago, Cheeky said:

Hey Dave ,

my doctors has said  nothing about TD and my mum has been on 50mg a low dose of seraquel for 6 years and she is fine. My next taper I will start to decrease the Seraquel as I haven't been on that as long as the paxil. I personally try not to worry about something that hasn't happened yet, because if I did I would be a nervous wreck.

As for stability, your brain need time and unfortunately we cant put a time on it, just remember every body stabilizes eventually, its just awful to have set backs.

I'm feeling good at the moment and I'm too scared to taper again as I don't want those feelings again. This process really sucks, thank god for this support group.

 

Awesome advice, especially about worrying about stuff that hasn't and probably never will happen. Thanks Cheeky!

[DaveB]

21 hours ago, Cheeky said:

Hey Dave ,

my doctors has said  nothing about TD and my mum has been on 50mg a low dose of seraquel for 6 years and she is fine. My next taper I will start to decrease the Seraquel as I haven't been on that as long as the paxil. I personally try not to worry about something that hasn't happened yet, because if I did I would be a nervous wreck.

As for stability, your brain need time and unfortunately we cant put a time on it, just remember every body stabilizes eventually, its just awful to have set backs.

I'm feeling good at the moment and I'm too scared to taper again as I don't want those feelings again. This process really sucks, thank god for this support group.

 

Have you ever taken benzos? I am wondering about taking klonopin for a little bit to help me through some of this. Anxiety is just relentless right now and I am not sure how else to get through it. 

[Cheeky]

1 hour ago, DaveB said:

 

Have you ever taken benzos? I am wondering about taking klonopin for a little bit to help me through some of this. Anxiety is just relentless right now and I am not sure how else to get through it. 

No I haven’t taken any benzodiazepines and I won’t take them.  You do what you have to do to feel better and when your having those bad days remember it won’t last .

[DaveB]

1 hour ago, Cheeky said:

No I haven’t taken any benzodiazepines and I won’t take them.  You do what you have to do to feel better and when your having those bad days remember it won’t last .

Boy it sure feels like it will last forever. When you are stabilizing do you have some days like last weekend for me that are almost normal, only to go completely the other way for 3-4 days? I just feel like I am getting worse and worse with each passing day, I haven't changed anything so what is going wrong here?

[Cheeky]

I really don’t know what to say except that I know that even though I have stabilised by 85% I still get days and mornings I feel anxious .

Dave it has taken me 3 months to feel

like this and I’m on the same medication for 23 yeas so I think with your situation it will take a much longer time due to you being on a medication that your brain is trying to get used to. That is just my opinion and I’m not a doctor. You’ve had good days and they will appear more and more. Hang on to the fact you will have a window soon.

[DaveB]

15 minutes ago, Cheeky said:

I really don’t know what to say except that I know that even though I have stabilised by 85% I still get days and mornings I feel anxious .

Dave it has taken me 3 months to feel

like this and I’m on the same medication for 23 yeas so I think with your situation it will take a much longer time due to you being on a medication that your brain is trying to get used to. That is just my opinion and I’m not a doctor. You’ve had good days and they will appear more and more. Hang on to the fact you will have a window soon.

 

Thanks Cheeky! Good perceptive on why it may be taking so long for me, you are right as usual, I need to just know that I have had good days and they will continue to come.  You are awesome, I am glad you are doing so well, you deserve it. I agree with your decision to give your brain a nice, long, break!

[Cheeky]

18 minutes ago, DaveB said:

 

Thanks Cheeky! Good perceptive on why it may be taking so long for me, you are right as usual, I need to just know that I have had good days and they will continue to come.  You are awesome, I am glad you are doing so well, you deserve it. I agree with your decision to give your brain a nice, long, break!

I think alot of this is common sense, but sometimes when your in it your so over whelmed with anxiety and fear you tend to not think clearly.

I just cant believe we are all suffering from the hands of people who were suppose to help us. Dave my here for you buddy x

[Carmie]

On 20/04/2018 at 9:59 AM, Cheeky said:

I really don’t know what to say except that I know that even though I have stabilised by 85% I still get days and mornings I feel anxious .

Dave it has taken me 3 months to feel

like this and I’m on the same medication for 23 yeas so I think with your situation it will take a much longer time due to you being on a medication that your brain is trying to get used to. That is just my opinion and I’m not a doctor. You’ve had good days and they will appear more and more. Hang on to the fact you will have a window soon.

 

 

Just been reading your thread cheeky. Boy, you’ve gone through a lot of on and off things too. Reading your first post made me go, oh no, you poor thing. I’ve been tapering from Seroquel for many years and am going slowly but still get withdrawals. You went off it cold turkey, as well as going off other meds. That would have been horrific. Then when you went back on it, you eventually halved it. Wow! What a big drop! Soooo glad you’re tapering it slowly now. 

 

It really is a crime that doctors put us on these things as if they were lollies n tell us nothing about withdrawals. Then before we llearn about withdrawals we think what on earth is wrong with us???

 

I’m  glad you’re in a bit of window at the moment after a three month hold. I think for our sanity once the symptoms subside from a taper, it’s good to have an even longer break to have a bit of normalcy.

 

You are doing brilliantly compared to your first post. Keep up the good work Cheeky 

 

[Cheeky]

9 hours ago, Carmie said:

 

 

Just been reading your thread cheeky. Boy, you’ve gone through a lot of on and off things too. Reading your first post made me go, oh no, you poor thing. I’ve been tapering from Seroquel for many years and am going slowly but still get withdrawals. You went off it cold turkey, as well as going off other meds. That would have been horrific. Then when you went back on it, you eventually halved it. Wow! What a big drop! Soooo glad you’re tapering it slowly now. 

 

It really is a crime that doctors put us on these things as if they were lollies n tell us nothing about withdrawals. Then before we llearn about withdrawals we think what on earth is wrong with us???

 

I’m  glad you’re in a bit of window at the moment after a three month hold. I think for our sanity once the symptoms subside from a taper, it’s good to have an even longer break to have a bit of normalcy.

 

You are doing brilliantly compared to your first post. Keep up the good work Cheeky 

 

Hey Carmie,

Thanks for your kind words, I have learnt alot on this journey and will take it very slowly.

Your another Aussie so its nice to meet you and thanks for coming to my thread. I will read through yours when I get a chance , its nice to know people that are from your own country going through this that understands.

[DaveB]

How you doing? Still doing well at like 85% of normal? Haven't heard an update from you in a bit.

[Cheeky]

1 hour ago, DaveB said:

How you doing? Still doing well at like 85% of normal? Haven't heard an update from you in a bit.

Hey Dave,

yeah still feeling the same 90% normal but very tired , I suppose being s mum that works full time isn’t marking things easier. 

Im happy your getting better days and seeing signs of improvement, you deserve a break from this tedious  journey.

i just did a drop of .2mg yesterday of Paxil, I was too scared to do anymore. I will revaluate in a couple of weeks and if feeling okay do another .2mg

i sometime wonder that maybe it’s better to just stay as I am so I don’t rock the boat,

considering I’ve been feeling good, but deep down I know these drugs are criminal. If someone would tell me 100% I will heal and be normal again,  I would be more confident in tapering but being ion this drug for the time I’ve been on makes me wonder if I’m doing the right thing.

[DaveB]

42 minutes ago, Cheeky said:

Hey Dave,

yeah still feeling the same 90% normal but very tired , I suppose being s mum that works full time isn’t marking things easier. 

Im happy your getting better days and seeing signs of improvement, you deserve a break from this tedious  journey.

i just did a drop of .2mg yesterday of Paxil, I was too scared to do anymore. I will revaluate in a couple of weeks and if feeling okay do another .2mg

i sometime wonder that maybe it’s better to just stay as I am so I don’t rock the boat,

considering I’ve been feeling good, but deep down I know these drugs are criminal. If someone would tell me 100% I will heal and be normal again,  I would be more confident in tapering but being ion this drug for the time I’ve been on makes me wonder if I’m doing the right thing.

 

This is very encouraging for those of us kind of stuck in the grind. You were struggling so badly and have no found stability, that means it can happen for all of us. Wishing you all the best in your small taper, I am sure it will be nice an uneventful. 

[Cheeky]

12 minutes ago, DaveB said:

 

This is very encouraging for those of us kind of stuck in the grind. You were struggling so badly and have no found stability, that means it can happen for all of us. Wishing you all the best in your small taper, I am sure it will be nice an uneventful. 

there is hope hun, we have to believe that

[DaveB]

On 5/2/2018 at 4:45 PM, Cheeky said:

Hey Dave,

yeah still feeling the same 90% normal but very tired , I suppose being s mum that works full time isn’t marking things easier. 

Im happy your getting better days and seeing signs of improvement, you deserve a break from this tedious  journey.

i just did a drop of .2mg yesterday of Paxil, I was too scared to do anymore. I will revaluate in a couple of weeks and if feeling okay do another .2mg

i sometime wonder that maybe it’s better to just stay as I am so I don’t rock the boat,

considering I’ve been feeling good, but deep down I know these drugs are criminal. If someone would tell me 100% I will heal and be normal again,  I would be more confident in tapering but being ion this drug for the time I’ve been on makes me wonder if I’m doing the right thing.

 

How are you doing with your recent drop? I am assuming no news is good news?

[Rosetta]

Cheeky, I think you have to taper to avoid poop out.  You do not want that to happen, believe me.  Sorry this is rough, I know.

 

-Rosetta

[Carmie]

15 hours ago, DaveB said:

 

How are you doing with your recent drop? I am assuming no news is good news?

 

Hi Cheeky,

 

I’m wondering the same thing as Dave. Did the taper go well? Are you going to taper again soon?

 

Sending hugs🤗🤗

 

 

[Cheeky]

18 hours ago, DaveB said:

 

How are you doing with your recent drop? I am assuming no news is good news?

Yes no news means it’s going fine. I haven’t felt anything yet since my last drop, but I know it will creep up on me soon. 

[Carmie]

So happy You’ve been doing fine since your last drop Cheeky xx

[Cheeky]

52 minutes ago, Carmie said:

So happy You’ve been doing fine since your last drop Cheeky xx

Thankyou, so good so far.

[DaveB]

On 5/13/2018 at 6:45 AM, Cheeky said:

Thankyou, so good so far.

 

That is awesome, I know you have been through tough times like me and our story's are quite similar so your success and stability gives me a lot of hope!

[Cheeky]

4 minutes ago, DaveB said:

 

That is awesome, I know you have been through tough times like me and our story's are quite similar so your success and stability gives me a lot of hope!

Dave it dose happen, it just takes time.

when your in it , you thu k like your going to be like that forever and it is torture.

 

[DaveB]

1 hour ago, Cheeky said:

Dave it dose happen, it just takes time.

when your in it , you thu k like your going to be like that forever and it is torture.

 

 

Exactly, so hard to see it ending, but you and others are proof that it does...eventually!

[Cheeky]

1 hour ago, DaveB said:

 

Exactly, so hard to see it ending, but you and others are proof that it does...eventually!

Sorry for my hideous spelling mistakes 😕 I wasn’t checking it.

I think I may be starting to feel the drop

now, I increased the drop to 0.5mg for the last couple of days so I just hope it’s not going to be as bad as last time.

[Cheeky]

On 5/13/2018 at 6:02 PM, Carmie said:

 

Hi Cheeky,

 

I’m wondering the same thing as Dave. Did the taper go well? Are you going to taper again soon?

 

Sending hugs🤗🤗

 

 

Hey Carmie,

I think I may be feeling the decrease today, will see how I go.

Thanks for thinking of me.

[Rosetta]

5 hours ago, DaveB said:

 

That is awesome, I know you have been through tough times like me and our story's are quite similar so your success and stability gives me a lot of hope!

 

Me, too.  Thank you.  I hope this goes well for you.  - Rosetta

[Carmie]

On 5/15/2018 at 1:15 PM, Cheeky said:

Hey Carmie,

I think I may be feeling the decrease today, will see how I go.

Thanks for thinking of me.

 

Hi Cheeky, 

 

Yes, we seem to usually end up feeling any changes. We can just take a day at a time and keep looking forward.

 

I’m checking into this forum just a couple of times a week now as I find checking in daily isn’t good for my healing.

 

Hope this decrease doesn’t affect you too much. I’m not tapering for a few months now. I’m still in windows and waves but lots of windows now. I’m really ill though because of CFS so even when I’m not in major waves I still have CNS problems.

 

That being said I’m still not over the last taper that I did over 70 days ago. 

 

Hang in there my my fellow warrior. 

 

Keep posting how you are doing and next time I check in on the forum I’ll check up on you xxxx

 

[Cheeky]

Hey Everyone,

I'm just giving an update on how things are going for me.

Well after I finally stabilized after my last drop I was having a great time being  stable and back to my old self, I was even questioning doing another drop again but I don't want to be a tired zombie all he time.

I knew I would feel withdrawal but when it happens its hard to go through. I seem to get hit 3 weeks after the drop so here I am now and its starting to happen.

At the moment I've been having slight anxiety in the mornings and today was the first time I've felt dizzy and a  rush of anxiety go through my body that is intense.

I dropped by 0.5mg and will wait this out till i drop the other 0.5mg to get to 34mg Paxil.

 

I was thinking about concentrating to get to 30mg this year of paxil then start the seraquel next year. What would your advice be for me @Altostrata

[DaveB]

16 hours ago, Cheeky said:

Hey Everyone,

I'm just giving an update on how things are going for me.

Well after I finally stabilized after my last drop I was having a great time being  stable and back to my old self, I was even questioning doing another drop again but I don't want to be a tired zombie all he time.

I knew I would feel withdrawal but when it happens its hard to go through. I seem to get hit 3 weeks after the drop so here I am now and its starting to happen.

At the moment I've been having slight anxiety in the mornings and today was the first time I've felt dizzy and a  rush of anxiety go through my body that is intense.

I dropped by 0.5mg and will wait this out till i drop the other 0.5mg to get to 34mg Paxil.

 

I was thinking about concentrating to get to 30mg this year of paxil then start the seraquel next year. What would your advice be for me @Altostrata

 

That seems like a good plan Cheeky, good for you for taking the plunge and dropping again! Good to hear you got back to your old self, gives those of us who are not stable some hope!

[Cheeky]

9 hours ago, DaveB said:

 

That seems like a good plan Cheeky, good for you for taking the plunge and dropping again! Good to hear you got back to your old self, gives those of us who are not stable some hope!

Dave you will and everyone eventually dose , you just have to hang in there and makes sure you don’t change anything. 

[Carmie]

On 5/29/2018 at 12:33 PM, Cheeky said:

Hey Everyone,

I'm just giving an update on how things are going for me.

Well after I finally stabilized after my last drop I was having a great time being  stable and back to my old self, I was even questioning doing another drop again but I don't want to be a tired zombie all he time.

I knew I would feel withdrawal but when it happens its hard to go through. I seem to get hit 3 weeks after the drop so here I am now and its starting to happen.

At the moment I've been having slight anxiety in the mornings and today was the first time I've felt dizzy and a  rush of anxiety go through my body that is intense.

I dropped by 0.5mg and will wait this out till i drop the other 0.5mg to get to 34mg Paxil.

 

I was thinking about concentrating to get to 30mg this year of paxil then start the seraquel next year. What would your advice be for me @Altostrata

 

 

That’s great news you’ve stabilised Cheeky, 

 

Hope all goes well with your tapering. Yep, every time we taper we get hit with withdrawals, that’s just a fact we can’t seem to escape. Sometimes they’re bearable, sometimes not so much.

 

I hope you have lots of things to distract yourself with when you go through the rough times. I’ve watched whole seasons of tv shows in absolutely no time when I’m in waves. I’ve also ended up crocheting millions of blankets for friends. It’s just a matter of getting through each day and looking forward to the next window. 

 

The anxiety is not much fun in a wave, is it? It’s such a weird feeling. I’ve heard people call it chemical anxiety and that rings true. It feels like it’s not you, like something has taken over your body. 

 

All we we can do is take each day as it comes, each moment as it comes.

 

💚💚💚

 

 

[Cheeky]

14 hours ago, Carmie said:

 

 

That’s great news you’ve stabilised Cheeky, 

 

Hope all goes well with your tapering. Yep, every time we taper we get hit with withdrawals, that’s just a fact we can’t seem to escape. Sometimes they’re bearable, sometimes not so much.

 

I hope you have lots of things to distract yourself with when you go through the rough times. I’ve watched whole seasons of tv shows in absolutely no time when I’m in waves. I’ve also ended up crocheting millions of blankets for friends. It’s just a matter of getting through each day and looking forward to the next window. 

 

The anxiety is not much fun in a wave, is it? It’s such a weird feeling. I’ve heard people call it chemical anxiety and that rings true. It feels like it’s not you, like something has taken over your body. 

 

All we we can do is take each day as it comes, each moment as it comes.

 

💚💚💚

 

 

OMG Carmie, 

CHEMICAL ANXIETY is exactly what it is, such a great way to describe it.

xx

[Cheeky]

okay so here is my update.

I have slowly  went down 1 mg in a 6 week period and I have to say its been  better to do that then just drop the 1mg in one go but unfortunately now after the 6 weeks I'm feeling the withdrawal , aniexty in waves , emotional, dizzi spells, slight confusion and negative thoughts. I just wonder how I'm going to manage this for the next 10 years.  I often think is it better to not taper at all and stay on Paxil the rest of my life and only taper the Seraquel. I'm at a loss of what to do, or mayday I'm thinking like that because I'm in a wave.

I'm 41 years and would love to be free of these drugs by 50, I really don't know if that is possible. my aim at the moment is to get to 30mg which is 1tablet and a half then start the Seraquel tapper. after I finally stabilised from my last drop I felt great and if I know that after every drop I'm going to feel good then I will continue on, I'm just scared that when in a waves I won't recover.

Any thoughts would be welcomed.

thanks

[MamaFlower]

Hi, Cheeky. 

I have been on paxil since 1997. I was on a very low dose of 8mg. 

In February I wanted to try and wean so I went from 8.0 to 7.5 and felt nothing for a month. I then went from 7.5 - 7.0. 

I then went completely insane. No sleep for 12 days, panic attacks nonstop, couldn't eat, sleep or stop horrifying racing thoughts. Thought I needed to go to the hospital and be locked away forever. 

It's been 4 months and I am getting worse. No stabilization. So now I am wondering if it's not paxil withdrawal. 

My therapist believes I am having PTSD from a trauma that took place in February, but I cannot stop thinking it's the paxil and I will never, ever stabilize. 

Have you ever heard of someone dropping such a tiny amount and not being able to stabilize? 

I want to move forward with healing from my PTSD, but I cannot shake this belief that this is all from paxil withdrawal and I will forever be like this. 

Four months is a long, long, long time to feel so awful and not be getting any improvements at all. Have you seen this before on here? 

Thanks, 

Michelle

[ChessieCat]

Hi MamaFlower, I have responded to your question in your Intro topic.

[Cheeky]

1 hour ago, MamaFlower said:

Hi, Cheeky. 

I have been on paxil since 1997. I was on a very low dose of 8mg. 

In February I wanted to try and wean so I went from 8.0 to 7.5 and felt nothing for a month. I then went from 7.5 - 7.0. 

I then went completely insane. No sleep for 12 days, panic attacks nonstop, couldn't eat, sleep or stop horrifying racing thoughts. Thought I needed to go to the hospital and be locked away forever. 

It's been 4 months and I am getting worse. No stabilization. So now I am wondering if it's not paxil withdrawal. 

My therapist believes I am having PTSD from a trauma that took place in February, but I cannot stop thinking it's the paxil and I will never, ever stabilize. 

Have you ever heard of someone dropping such a tiny amount and not being able to stabilize? 

I want to move forward with healing from my PTSD, but I cannot shake this belief that this is all from paxil withdrawal and I will forever be like this. 

Four months is a long, long, long time to feel so awful and not be getting any improvements at all. Have you seen this before on here? 

Thanks, 

Michelle

Michelle you are on a very low dose and yes I’ve seen people who have to taper by 2% when getting below 10mg. I know with  myself just by going down by 1mg plays havoc on my brain. This isn’t unusual becouse I have taken 4 months to get stable. Just don’t do anything and ride it out, I know how desperate you feel becouse I’ve been there. This won’t last you have to ride it out.

[Cheeky]

okay so here is my update.

I have slowly  went down 1 mg in a 6 week period and I have to say its been  better to do that then just drop the 1mg in one go but unfortunately now after the 6 weeks I'm feeling the withdrawal , aniexty in waves , emotional, dizzi spells, slight confusion and negative thoughts. I just wonder how I'm going to manage this for the next 10 years.  I often think is it better to not taper at all and stay on Paxil the rest of my life and only taper the Seraquel. I'm at a loss of what to do, or mayday I'm thinking like that because I'm in a wave.

I'm 41 years and would love to be free of these drugs by 50, I really don't know if that is possible. my aim at the moment is to get to 30mg which is 1tablet and a half then start the Seraquel tapper. after I finally stabilised from my last drop I felt great and if I know that after every drop I'm going to feel good then I will continue on, I'm just scared that when in a waves I won't recover.

Any thoughts would be welcomed.

thanks