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apace41: tapering Zoloft / sertraline


apace41

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Oops... I meant to say that the jaw pain from chain chewing gum wasn't a w/d symptom.  I know the burning mouth is & I hate that you're dealing with it.

Hoping, along with you, that this will stay for a very limited time...

 

Happy middle of the work week to you!

On Zoloft for 10 years (50 mg) for GAD & panic attacks

Weaned off fall of 2013, terrible set back in Feb '14 back on 100 mg & trazadone to sleep.

Did CT off of Zoloft in May 2014 - bad decision!

Back on 50 mg Zoloft & Xanax as needed (was upped to 75 mg by doctor in Feb 2015)

Started to wean off of Zoloft in April 2015 ~ totally off Zoloft in Oct 2015 and now am on Buspar 11.25 mg to help.

I was on a 50 mg pill & 25 mg pill - I cut the 25 mg pill in half (12.5) and took that with the 50 for 6 weeks - 1st week June 2015

 50 mg for another 6 weeks. 25 mg in half and the 50 mg in half (37.5), 25 mg mid Sept for about 2 weeks.,1/2 of the 25 mg last week of Sept/1st week of Oct then off.

Update** 9 mg Zoloft reinstated early Nov 15, along with 1.5 mg Buspar daily. On .50 of Buspar & 9 mg of Zoloft. Oct '16 - off of Buspar, Nov '16 - down to 7.5 mg Zoloft. March'17 - 4 mg Zoloft. July'17 - 2 mg, Sept 1 mg. Oct'17 - off! Done!

I also take magnesium, L theanine, Gaba Calm, L Glutamine, Vit B complex(for methyl issues), Liver & Gall bladder support, Zinc, Whole Food Vit C & Fish Oil. DARE & the bible are the tools I use to help navigate this  process.

 

 

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Thanks, B.  That makes sense and we are, as usual, of one mind.

 

Glad you are doing so well.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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Hi Andy:

 

Just wondered if you have read my thread?

 

I'm sure you have.

 

Let me know if you need clarification.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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3 minutes ago, Frogie said:

Hi Andy:

 

Just wondered if you have read my thread?

 

I'm sure you have.

 

Let me know if you need clarification.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

 

I'm not sure what you are asking me, Frogie?

 

I keep up with your thread generally, but, to be honest, there are a ton of posts that are very long and I don't read every word.

 

If you have a specific question feel free to ask.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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3 minutes ago, apace41 said:

 

I'm not sure what you are asking me, Frogie?

 

I keep up with your thread generally, but, to be honest, there are a ton of posts that are very long and I don't read every word.

 

If you have a specific question feel free to ask.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Andy:

 

I just don't want to bother you.

 

I just feel flat, no emotions. I'm not depressed, not crying, nothing. Do you ever feel like that? I think it's everything going on right now and WD. And I have akasthisia in my knees! I have to rub them or I want to rip them out. I've never had that symptom before.

 

Do you ever lose your appetite? The last 2 days I didn't eat lunch. Not sick, just not hungry. I think I'm drinking too much water between breakfast and lunch. I ate lunch today. I eat breakfast and dinner just fine.

 

I've forced myself to do things. Make the bed, wrap my granddaughters Christmas presents and I went through all the paint today so we can paint when/if we ever get walls lol...

 

Just curious. I think I'm normal, just going through WD I've never been through this type before. New for me. Usually I'm nauseous and tired, not this time. 

 

Hope you are feeling better with your burning mouth. :)

 

Thanks...

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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Hi, Frogie,

 

I don't have time to respond in depth right now, but all of what you describe is completely and totally normal in W/D.  It sucks and is awful to live with, but it is normal for W/D.

 

Try to distract yourself as best as you can and it will get better over time.  If you are too focused on your symptoms they will take over.

 

Sometimes I worry that you fall into that trap as you type the same message to a large number of people over the course of a day further etching it into your thought process.  Perhaps less is more -- the LG route?

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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Just now, apace41 said:

Hi, Frogie,

 

I don't have time to respond in depth right now, but all of what you describe is completely and totally normal in W/D.  It sucks and is awful to live with, but it is normal for W/D.

 

Try to distract yourself as best as you can and it will get better over time.  If you are too focused on your symptoms they will take over.

 

Sometimes I worry that you fall into that trap as you type the same message to a large number of people over the course of a day further etching it into your thought process.  Perhaps less is more -- the LG route?

 

Best,

 

Andy

Thanks Andy:

 

I wondered the same thing.

 

At least I know it's all normal, just new symptoms to me.

 

Thanks for the reassurance. Means a lot coming from you.

 

Be well.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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On December 7, 2017 at 2:11 PM, apace41 said:

Hi, Frogie,

 

I don't have time to respond in depth right now, but all of what you describe is completely and totally normal in W/D.  It sucks and is awful to live with, but it is normal for W/D.

 

Try to distract yourself as best as you can and it will get better over time.  If you are too focused on your symptoms they will take over.

 

Sometimes I worry that you fall into that trap as you type the same message to a large number of people over the course of a day further etching it into your thought process.  Perhaps less is more -- the LG route?

 

Best,

 

Andy

Hi Andy:

 

I wrote on my thread I was taking at least the weekend off to "recharge" myself.

 

The last 2 mornings I've woken up a little nauseous, but I think it's more nerves, the remodeling and this time of year. This time of year is not good or happy for me.

 

Junglechicken's message came through my email. I wanted to wish her the best.

 

I hope you won't go anywhere, I know I'll need you. :)

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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Frogie,

 

Take your time off.  You are too focused on the site all the time.

 

It is not appropriate for you to post messages about you on my thread.  I follow you as you know so I keep track of what you are doing and you don't need to come to my thread to reach me. When you have needed me and PM'd me I have always responded.

 

Just so you know, I will be away on vacation at the end of the year and intend to be off the site much of that time.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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23 minutes ago, apace41 said:

Frogie,

 

Take your time off.  You are too focused on the site all the time.

 

It is not appropriate for you to post messages about you on my thread.  I follow you as you know so I keep track of what you are doing and you don't need to come to my thread to reach me. When you have needed me and PM'd me I have always responded.

 

Just so you know, I will be away on vacation at the end of the year and intend to be off the site much of that time.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Andy:

 

I'm sorry. I'll PM if I need to talk to you.

 

I'm glad you are taking vacation. You need a good long rest.

 

I hope you get a HUGE window while on vacation so you can enjoy yourself. You deserve it more than anyone.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

 

 

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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I've finally come up for a little air from a very hectic end-of-year work schedule and wanted to provide an update, as promised.  

 

Overall, I'd like to be able to say I've turned a corner but I'm not really seeing that at this point.  To the extent I have windows and waves it is more like ups and downs on a daily (or even way more frequent) basis.  I am HIGHLY confident that if I told any self-respecting conventionally trained shrink how I felt on a daily basis I would very quickly have a bi-polar 1 diagnosis in hand and be on my merry anti-psychotic/mood stabilizer way.  I am NOT bi-polar but I play one on the internet.

 

Here are my current symptoms:

 

  • As most of you know, I developed Burning Mouth Syndrome around Halloween and that has been an ongoing source of concern.  I did a lot of research on the subject and found a couple of things to try.  First, I have used an aloe vera based mouthwash; second, I have used Biotene which is for sensitive mouth/gums; third I have used baking soda in water to rinse and sip; fourth, I chew a lot of mint gum., fifth, I added 500mg of B-12 spray to my supplements as B-12 deficiency can contribute to BMS; sixth, consistent with several double-blinded studies I reviewed, I started taking 600mg of Alpha Lipoic Acid daily.  All of those things, I believe, have helped but not removed the problem.  I then came across a story that indicated that a woman with HSV-1 (herpes) developed burning mouth and when treated with anti-virals found remission.  I emailed the articles to my integrative/functional doc and he said "good catch" and started me on Valtrex.  Good news is that it seems to help the mouth.  Bad news is that I think it is activating for my withdrawal.  So, I'm trying to use lower doses, take days off, etc.  Very challenging and a HORRIBLE symptom.
  • Dizziness.  This is a symptom that comes and goes for me and is largely subjective.  I have been doing some vestibular rehabilitation therapy to improve balance generally (figure it's good as I get older) and on an objective basis I score pretty well.  I still find, however, that there are many days where I feel very "off" and like I'm walking on a moonbounce/trampoline.  It is very disturbing and triggers me into some level of health anxiety.  I think it will get better over time but since it predates the meds who knows?
  • Health Anxiety.  Happy to report that this symptom has improved a fair amount.  I still get hit from time to time with it and body pain (left side, arm, chest, neck) all create a flash of anxiety in me regarding heart/stroke issues, but in general the level of obsessiveness about things has clearly diminished.
  • Anxiety Generally.  I have moments where anxiety hits me out nowhere and it is just the strangest, most chemical feeling.  This can be at times where there is no apparent stress in my life but it still comes on like gangbusters.  Not a panic attack, per se, but a sense of forboding.  Anxiety levels increased at times in the morning after waking and at night prior to be.  During the day it is usually not too bad.
  • Sleep.  Generally, sleep has improved.  By and large I am getting about 5.5 to 6.5 hours on most nights.  Some nights it is better and some it is worse but that is a general guideline.  I still don't really feel refreshed when I wake up, but it is better than the total insomnia nights I was having for a while.\
  • DP/DR.  I continue to struggle with this symptom and while I recognize others (Shep comes to mind) have it way worse than I do, the sensation of playing a role in the movie of your life gets old after a while.  It also manifests for me in a kind of "tunnel vision" where everything in my periphery seems dark and distant and the best I can do is focus on my immediate surroundings.  Some days are better than others and I'm working hard to focus on people when I speak to them and be truly present in the hopes of improving this.
  • Body Pain.  I still have a lot of pain in my hips/groin and I don't know how much is withdrawal and how much is "body breakdown", "arthritis" and perhaps something systemic (autoimmune?). 
  • Other -- there are myriad other niggling items but none are really worth mentioning.  I will say that I suffer from low mood regularly, but who going through this wouldn't?

 

Here are the things I'm currently trying to do to help myself (beyond the passage of time):

 

  • Neurofeedback -- after a lot of research and a review of GiaK/Monica's BeyondMeds website, I decided to try neurofeedback.  My theory about what I am suffering from (for the most part) is that my brain has been forced into hyperarousal with the amygdala on "high alert" on a full-time basis.  I base this on a bunch of tests and my symptoms.  In other words, I believe my brain is locked in "fight or flight" and many/most of my symptoms are the direct result of that phenomemon.  Neurofeedback is an effort, in part, to train the brain waves into more "relaxed" states.  It is VERY interesting (and not cheap).
  • Exercise -- even though my hips pay for it after the fact I am trying to get to the gym 3 days a week and I am taking at least a 15 minute walk every morning.  This gives me a chance to get some vitamin D (as JanCarol would say, "see the sun") and break up my sitting at my desk for work.
  • Journaling -- I am tracking my symptoms on a daily basis and trying to see if I can connect things I do to how I feel.  I have been notoriously awful and this aspect and I think it holds a big key to making adjustments as you go on in the taper.
  • Positivity -- I have realized that my negative attitude is contributing in some way to my situation.  While I know I need to be self-compassionate, Happy2Heal reinforced in a PM yesterday how much changing her thoughts has helped her and I know that I need to do that too.  Unfortunately, it's something I SUCK at so it will take some time and effort.
  • Meditation/Heartmath -- I have unfortunately let this slide a fair amount of late.  I hope to get back to it because the benefits have been so clearly documented in so many places.  There are, however, only so many hours in the day.
  • Omega 3/Brain oils -- I take coconut oil daily and have recently increased my fish oil intake to 4-4.5 grams per day. There have been some incredible stories on the benefits of Omega 3s in the case of Traumatic Brain Injury and, in a lot of ways, I believe that is what we have suffered.
  • Gratitude -- I use an app called "HappyFeed" that prompts you to list 3 things good about your day each day and I (usually) do that although I slip sometimes to be honest.

On the whole, I think I am surviving but not yet coming close to thriving.  If I look back to a year ago I feel like I have slipped further down but that may very well be the withdrawal speaking as it is hard to be objective.  I will be on my annual vacation to Florida starting the 22nd and that will allow me to "measure" this year versus last more accurately because it is the kind of vacation that is pretty much the same year to year other than how I experience it.  

 

I continue to believe that given the time and the right environment we will heal.  We may not be "the same person" we were when we started down this path, but we can be very good, and in a lot of situations, better than we were prior to getting into this mess.  The devil, however, is in the details and knowing "how much time" and "what is the right environment" are obviously difficult and the source of a ton of frustration.  

 

I desperately, like all of you, want to go back to "living my life" but I'm not sure at this point what that even means.  I think part of this process is to help us learn how to reformulate our lives so that the lives we go back "to living" can be more meaningful than the ones that led us down the rabbit hole of psych meds.  It is, in fact, part of a spiritual journey that we can choose to embrace or fight.  I have spent the better portion of the last 5 years fighting against the process.  While I am not yet there and I still find the concept of "acceptance" extremely difficult, I suspect I am moving in the right direction.

 

Only time will tell.

 

Best to all for a happy holiday season.

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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Andy,

 

I think the difficulty we all have is that we're dealing with the "unknown", and since no medical professional can advise us "how" we should be feeling one week, month or year down the line, we can only compare with how we "were" feeling before.

 

Dealing with the "unknown" is no fun, the main thing is you're not getting worse?

 

Dealing and coping with this (which you've listed in your update) is about strategies, and being "good to oneself".  I get told this all the time by my Naturopath and Therapist.

 

Given how detailed your update is, you're doing everything within your power to "help yourself" heal, even though there are steps backwards in some cases, and steps forward in others.

 

I hope you have a wonderful and restful trip to Florida, and thank you for all that you've done to support me and my struggles.

 

Best,

JC

Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD).  Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal.

Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy.

Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum"Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals.

Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions).

Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking.

Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO.  April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol.   25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L).

Symptoms:  Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing).  **Histhamine intolerance (suspected).

Major Life Events: 

Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016

My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs)  Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018  "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018  Diagnosed with: 5th August 2021 PTSD/C-PTSD Diagnosed with: March 2022 Interstitial Cystitis (IC)/Painful bladder syndrome

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Awesome update Andy.  Kiss the Atlantic Ocean for me when you get there.

 

Best to you as well.......Happy, peaceful Holidays!

 

mmt

Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks.

Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988.  In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm.

Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time).

5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014)

12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs.  My last psycho med ever!  Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to

2016 Dec 16 medication free!!

Longer signature post here, with current supplements.

Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016.  And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed.  Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022.  Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜

None of my posts are intended as medical advice.  Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider.  My success story:  Blue skies ahead, clear sailing

 

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Hi Andy

 

I'm like you. Most of my ups and downs occur on the same day (or at least varying severity if no ups)...very rapid cycling that makes it hard to identify daily lifestyle triggers. I also know I would be probably diagnosed with bipolar as well. Actually, I used to describe my akathisia as "intolerable energy" and  I had to nip that in the bud after one doctor suspected a mood disorder.  This process has trained me to be expertly cautious with my word choice. 

 

I'm sorry to hear that you don't feel any big improvements from a year ago. I also find it hard to make sense of my healing, and I also use recurrent events and activities (like your vacation) to gauge my progress. We get really bogged down in the day to day grind of surviving, that we lose a lot of long-term perspective, even if we keep notes. 

 

Acceptance is hard, but I do think you're on your way. Just by reading the great advice you give so many members.

Aug-Dec 2015 Prozac 20mg / Dec 2015-Feb 2016 Prozac 15mg / Feb 2016-May2016 Prozac 20mg

May 2016-June 2016 15mg

June 2016-August 2016 10mg

October 2016-January 2017 15mg, alternating agitation/akathisia sets in --> cold turkey

January 2017 Clonazepam .5mg 

February 2017 Clonazepam 1mg (for a week) then .5mg morning and .25mg evening for about a month. Came down to .25mg morning and evening. 

May 1, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .125mg evening. // May 20, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .0625 evening (.3125 total).

early June .28125 // early mid june .25mg // mid june .21875 // late june .1875 // early july .15625 // early mid july .125 

mid july .09375mg // late july .0625 //early August 2017 down to .03125mg once a day, hopped off in mid August

reinstated at .0625mg late August // Oct 16 - updose to .07mg and switch to oral Rosemont solution

Nov 17 2017 reinstate Prozac .5mg // Nov 21 2017 prozac 1.6mg // Dec 18 2017  3mg prozac / fast taper off the reinstatement -- probably completely off early Oct 2018

June 2019 begin tapering off .07mg Clonazepam, Finish taper December 2019

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  • Moderator Emeritus
53 minutes ago, apace41 said:

Health Anxiety.  Happy to report that this symptom has improved a fair amount.

 

54 minutes ago, apace41 said:

Sleep.  Generally, sleep has improved.  By and large I am getting about 5.5 to 6.5 hours on most nights. 

 

Hi, Andy. I just had to list the improvements. Sleep continuing to improve will likely bring other improvements. I really get worried when people's sleep go in the other direction, so I really think you're doing well. 

 

The improvement in HA is really key because so many of your HA symptoms seemed to have a bit of a catastrophic thinking vibe to them. 

 

So I would also add to the improvement list - getting better at acceptance. 

 

57 minutes ago, apace41 said:

DP/DR.  I continue to struggle with this symptom and while I recognize others (Shep comes to mind) have it way worse than I do, the sensation of playing a role in the movie of your life gets old after a while.  It also manifests for me in a kind of "tunnel vision" where everything in my periphery seems dark and distant and the best I can do is focus on my immediate surroundings.  Some days are better than others and I'm working hard to focus on people when I speak to them and be truly present in the hopes of improving this.

 

Yeah, but if the DP/DR were REALLY bad, you'd be convinced you were playing a role in someone ELSE'S life. That when it gets really weird. :blink:

 

Actually, before I found the benzo websites, I had those kinds of thoughts, along with the sensation that the loss of Self was connected to someone stealing my thoughts, my memory, and my soul. It was very disturbing. I thought I had died and developed Cotard's Syndrome. But as I've written many times on this site and others, it's just psychiatry's free acid trip. . . . 

 

The best thing I've found so far is finding downtime to rest. Your DP/DR may be leading you in that direction. If so, be sure and listen to this symptom. 

 

Your ability to work more than full time, take care of your family, and go on vacation are all signs of someone who, as you say may not be thriving, but you are definitely making the best out of a very difficult situation. And what more can anyone do?

 

Sending healing vibes your way. I hope you have a safe and restorative vacation. 

 

 

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  • Moderator

Andy-- I know you realize that by the time you get back from Florida (taking two days to do so) you will be at about half the dose you were taking last year.  That's excellent progress right there.  Personal progress is a very subjective thing and can be very hard to see.  Reading through last years posts and the one you just made the improvements jump off the page for me.  You're much more in control of things, have a "solid" plan, have a better attitude and are making progress on almost every front.  It may seem slow but it's there, and well done.

 

I'm going to reiterate something we talked about a couple of months ago and you said you had already made some plans in that direction.  Please take more time for your drive home from Florida.  Stretch it out over a couple of days instead of doing it all at once and give yourself a chance to enjoy the trip through some beautiful country.  Also, and this could be a tough one, please no drinking what so ever. A small glass of bubbly for new years is acceptable, but other than that, no alcohol.

 

You're making some good progress and I would hate to see any avoidable setbacks.

 

I hope that doesn't sound too harsh, I'm really pulling for ya and can't wait to see even more improvements.

 

Tom

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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3 hours ago, apace41 said:

Positivity -- I have realized that my negative attitude is contributing in some way to my situation.  While I know I need to be self-compassionate, Happy2Heal reinforced in a PM yesterday how much changing her thoughts has helped her and I know that I need to do that too.  Unfortunately, it's something I SUCK at so it will take some time and effort.

 

This right here my friend... yes!  When our thoughts go, our body follows.  It's neuroplasticity.  Pretty amazing that by the thoughts we think, our brain can create "new grooves"...  I know it's not easy, believe me.  But, I've seen this work in my own struggle.  I stop and choose my thoughts...and let the darn physical sensations come as they may.... because as our bodies rest and heal, the sensations will eventually go away. 

I've had DP...not fun.  It can be quite scary, but I go back to the above...I stop and choose (heck, sometimes I talk to myself in 3rd person haha!!) & then change my thoughts.

 

Also, at the risk of being motherly.... BrassMonkey's advice is spot on.  Extended drive home & no alcohol. 

 

All my best.  Looking forward to what your update is 6 months from now! slowly but surely, you're making progress.

On Zoloft for 10 years (50 mg) for GAD & panic attacks

Weaned off fall of 2013, terrible set back in Feb '14 back on 100 mg & trazadone to sleep.

Did CT off of Zoloft in May 2014 - bad decision!

Back on 50 mg Zoloft & Xanax as needed (was upped to 75 mg by doctor in Feb 2015)

Started to wean off of Zoloft in April 2015 ~ totally off Zoloft in Oct 2015 and now am on Buspar 11.25 mg to help.

I was on a 50 mg pill & 25 mg pill - I cut the 25 mg pill in half (12.5) and took that with the 50 for 6 weeks - 1st week June 2015

 50 mg for another 6 weeks. 25 mg in half and the 50 mg in half (37.5), 25 mg mid Sept for about 2 weeks.,1/2 of the 25 mg last week of Sept/1st week of Oct then off.

Update** 9 mg Zoloft reinstated early Nov 15, along with 1.5 mg Buspar daily. On .50 of Buspar & 9 mg of Zoloft. Oct '16 - off of Buspar, Nov '16 - down to 7.5 mg Zoloft. March'17 - 4 mg Zoloft. July'17 - 2 mg, Sept 1 mg. Oct'17 - off! Done!

I also take magnesium, L theanine, Gaba Calm, L Glutamine, Vit B complex(for methyl issues), Liver & Gall bladder support, Zinc, Whole Food Vit C & Fish Oil. DARE & the bible are the tools I use to help navigate this  process.

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
3 hours ago, Junglechicken said:

Given how detailed your update is, you're doing everything within your power to "help yourself" heal, even though there are steps backwards in some cases, and steps forward in others.

 

I hope you have a wonderful and restful trip to Florida, and thank you for all that you've done to support me and my struggles.

 

Thanks for all your input, JC.

 

You are always a pleasure.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
3 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

Awesome update Andy.  Kiss the Atlantic Ocean for me when you get there.

 

Best to you as well.......Happy, peaceful Holidays!

 

 

Thanks, MMT.

 

Happy to you as well.  Great having you on the mod team!

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
3 hours ago, bheb said:

I'm sorry to hear that you don't feel any big improvements from a year ago. I also find it hard to make sense of my healing, and I also use recurrent events and activities (like your vacation) to gauge my progress. We get really bogged down in the day to day grind of surviving, that we lose a lot of long-term perspective, even if we keep notes. 

 

 

So true.  So true.  I allow for the fact that my recollections are "warped" and that life is seen through rose-colored glasses that really aren't as clear as we'd like to think.

 

Thanks for your input, bheb.  

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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3 hours ago, Shep said:

Hi, Andy. I just had to list the improvements. Sleep continuing to improve will likely bring other improvements. I really get worried when people's sleep go in the other direction, so I really think you're doing well. 

 

The improvement in HA is really key because so many of your HA symptoms seemed to have a bit of a catastrophic thinking vibe to them. 

 

So I would also add to the improvement list - getting better at acceptance. 

 

As always, all valid points, Shep.  Doing an assessment will at any time be skewed by how you feel IN THE MOMENT.  If I updated on Sunday when I was doing pretty well, the report would have been much more positive.  A slight setback and I feel less positive.  That is life.  Having others to cull things out of the jumble you put on a page is invaluable.  Thank you.

 

3 hours ago, Shep said:

Yeah, but if the DP/DR were REALLY bad, you'd be convinced you were playing a role in someone ELSE'S life. That when it gets really weird. :blink:

 

I'm laughing out loud, Shep, because you have articulated this perfectly and have crystallized why I should be grateful in many ways.

 

3 hours ago, Shep said:

The best thing I've found so far is finding downtime to rest. Your DP/DR may be leading you in that direction. If so, be sure and listen to this symptom. 

 

 

Yes.  I'm far less resistant to taking days and time off as needed than I ever was before.  Combination of need and security in my job, etc.  Also knowing others on this site (you, Bubble, etc.) have done so makes it easier to prioritize.

 

3 hours ago, Shep said:

Your ability to work more than full time, take care of your family, and go on vacation are all signs of someone who, as you say may not be thriving, but you are definitely making the best out of a very difficult situation. And what more can anyone do?

 

Thank you for reminding me.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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32 minutes ago, brassmonkey said:

Reading through last years posts and the one you just made the improvements jump off the page for me.  You're much more in control of things, have a "solid" plan, have a better attitude and are making progress on almost every front.  It may seem slow but it's there, and well done.

 

Thank you for reading through and pointing that out, Tom.  As you know, visibility is poor from the inside looking out.

 

33 minutes ago, brassmonkey said:

I'm going to reiterate something we talked about a couple of months ago and you said you had already made some plans in that direction.  Please take more time for your drive home from Florida.  Stretch it out over a couple of days instead of doing it all at once and give yourself a chance to enjoy the trip through some beautiful country.  Also, and this could be a tough one, please no drinking what so ever. A small glass of bubbly for new years is acceptable, but other than that, no alcohol.

 

You must have missed the update from a few weeks back (I think I posted it) that I'm flying this year.  LOL.  There is only one scenario where I would have to drive and I think/hope it is unlikely to transpire.  I'm cognizant of the fact that the drive really sets me back and I appreciate your concern over that.

 

I have not had any meaningful alcohol since last year in FL.  I don't intend to change that.  Since I have concluded that some of my issues may well be attributable to incomplete benzo withdrawal due to GABA/Valerian interaction with the GABA receptors I am not planning to push on them for the foreseeable future.

 

36 minutes ago, brassmonkey said:

You're making some good progress and I would hate to see any avoidable setbacks.

 

I hope that doesn't sound too harsh, I'm really pulling for ya and can't wait to see even more improvements.

 

 

I know you are, Tom, and I thank you for that so, no, not too harsh.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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25 minutes ago, bromor said:

Also, at the risk of being motherly.... BrassMonkey's advice is spot on.  Extended drive home & no alcohol. 

 

All my best.  Looking forward to what your update is 6 months from now! slowly but surely, you're making progress.

 

Thanks, Mom.  Much appreciated.  I'd love to be able to give a super-positive update come Spring/Summer of 2018.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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Just wanted to drop by with a few words of support.  It really is admirable that you can function at such a high level with all that's going on.  That alone says a lot about your inner reserves of strength.  I wish you the best in the continuing journey of rid yourself of drugs; you're getting there slowly but surely.

PAST

Gabapentin:  about 6 months in 2015, 300-900 mg, cold turkeyed Sept 2015 (at same time dc'd Klonopin)

Klonopin: June 2014- Sept 2015; 1mg tapered over 6 mths, dc'd at 0.25mg, withdrawal hellish (perhaps because of concurrent dc of gabapentin)

Mirtazepine: Jumped off at 2.4 mg. (stable in 8 months).

Seroquel:  June 14 - July 24, 2016, 25 mg alternate nights; smaller doses for shorter periods. Total use about 3 months 

Lamictal: March 19, 2018 - 1 mg; March 23 - 1.25 mg; April 6 - 2mg. Discontinued at 2 mgJuly 1, 2018 due to Steven Johnson Syndrome.

 

CURRENT

Supplements: Vit D, turmeric

Naturethroid: 65 mcg for hypothyroidism

Trazodone: Oct 2015 - June 2016; 75 mg tapered over 2 mths, intense w/d after 3 weeks. Reinstatement: 07/25/16 - 25 mg; updosed 08/03/16 - 50 mg;  10/01/16-  62mg; 03/24/17 dropped to 50 mg (stable in 2.5 months)

                           Current psych meds: Trazodone 50 mg

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  • Moderator Emeritus
3 minutes ago, Survivor1 said:

Just wanted to drop by with a few words of support.  It really is admirable that you can function at such a high level with all that's going on.  That alone says a lot about your inner reserves of strength.  I wish you the best in the continuing journey of rid yourself of drugs; you're getting there slowly but surely.

 

Thanks for those words of support, Survivor1.  Very much appreciated.

 

Have a great holiday.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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So, lying here at 3:30 in the AM thinking “why did I post an update that had some positives” because every time I do the AD gods slam me up against the wall.  Awful night with burning up and down my throat and high levels of anxiety. Could be from my 3% cut on Monday but that is a depressing notion as well.  

 

Feels like back to square one. Ugh. 

 

Andy

 

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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  • Mentor

Andy,

 

AD withdrawal is h*ll on earth.   What a nightmare.  I hope that the light of day brings you some relief.

 

As for posting your update with some positives, well I got a lot out of it and learned something from you, like I always do.  So thank you for positing.  Let's hope those AD demons go away soon. Stay strong my friend.

 

Rachel

 

I am not a health professional in any way.  I do not give medical advice.   Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a professional medical practitioner.

 

NEW INFORMATION FOR GABAPENTIN TAPER

April 29, 2022 900 mg to 800 mg (11%), May 29, 2022 800 to 700 mg (12.5%), June 20, 2022 700 to 650mg (8%), July 20, 2022 650 to 575 (12%), August 20,  575 to 500 (13%),  Sept 20, 2020 500 to 475mg (5%) Nov 7, 2022 475 to 425 (11%), Nov 21, 2022 500mg

Medications: Gabapentin, Prednisone 1.5mg a day, Cortisol Inhaler daily. 

HISTORY FOR ZOLOFT TAPER

Feb. 2016 to June 2016  - Was on 150mg Zoloft.  Put on Gabapentin at 900mg a day in 2016 due to antidepressant withdrawal. 

Quit Zoloft (Sertraline) June  2016,  reinstated 50mg of Zoloft July 2016.  From July 2016  to October 2016 went from 50 mg down 2.3 mg. I up-dosed in November 2016 to 12.5 mg. Held there until January 2017 when I started a much slower taper.

STARTING SENSIBLE  ZOLOFT TAPERING USING GUIDELINES FROM THIS SITE

Dec. 10 2016  - switched to Liquid Zoloft (Sertraline) @ 12.5 mg.   Jan. 4, 2020 1.875 mg (6.3%). Jan. 25, 2020 1.75 mgFeb. 29, 2020 1.625mg (7.10%).  Apr. 4, 2020 1.5 mg.  May 9, 2020 1.375 mg.  June 6, 2020 1.25 mg. (9.10%).  July 4, 2020 1.125 mg. (10%).  August 15, 2020 1.0 mg.  Oct 24, 2020 .875 mg.  Nov. 28, 2020 .75mgJan 16, 2021 .685mg (8.7%).  Feb 13, 2021 .62mg. March 12, 2021 .56mg.  May 1, 2021 .375mg.  May 29, 2021 .25mg. June 26, 2021 .0125mg. July 25, 2021 .065mg. August 22, 2021 .048mg.  October 2, 2021 .043mg.  October 10, 2021 .038mg.  October 23, 2021 .035mg.  October 30, 2021 .032mg.  Nov. 13, 2021 .030 mg.  Dec 4, 2021 .0285 mg.  Dec 11, 2021 .0265 mg. Dec 18, 2021 .0246 mg. Dec 25, 2021 .023mg. Jan 1, 2022. 0 mg. OFF COMPLETELY

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  • Moderator Emeritus
2 hours ago, RachelSusan said:

AD withdrawal is h*ll on earth.   What a nightmare.  I hope that the light of day brings you some relief.

 

Amen, RS.  Amen.  The light of day has brought me -- exhaustion.  One hour of sleep will do that.

 

2 hours ago, RachelSusan said:

As for posting your update with some positives, well I got a lot out of it and learned something from you, like I always do.  So thank you for positing. 

 

I'm glad it helped someone (not me apparently!).

 

2 hours ago, RachelSusan said:

Stay strong my friend.

 

I'll do my best.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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5 hours ago, apace41 said:

So, lying here at 3:30 in the AM thinking “why did I post an update that had some positives” because every time I do the AD gods slam me up against the wall.  Awful night with burning up and down my throat and high levels of anxiety. Could be from my 3% cut on Monday but that is a depressing notion as well.  

 

Feels like back to square one. Ugh. 

 

Andy

 

Hi Andy:

 

I'm sorry you are not doing as well as you were hoping.

 

I hope you can get some good sleep soon.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Thanks, Frogie.

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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  • Mentor

Andy,

I really enjoy the way you write.  I'm very cautious when I read a post and try interpret the tone, especially when someone is in discomfort, such as yourself.  Your responses to me read as dry wit, which made me smile.  But again, if I am wrong and my smile is inappropriate please forgive me.  If it is your dry wit peeking through in spite of your suffering, then I impressed.

 

I hope your symptoms diminish enough that you are able to enjoy your vacation.

RS

 

 

 

I am not a health professional in any way.  I do not give medical advice.   Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a professional medical practitioner.

 

NEW INFORMATION FOR GABAPENTIN TAPER

April 29, 2022 900 mg to 800 mg (11%), May 29, 2022 800 to 700 mg (12.5%), June 20, 2022 700 to 650mg (8%), July 20, 2022 650 to 575 (12%), August 20,  575 to 500 (13%),  Sept 20, 2020 500 to 475mg (5%) Nov 7, 2022 475 to 425 (11%), Nov 21, 2022 500mg

Medications: Gabapentin, Prednisone 1.5mg a day, Cortisol Inhaler daily. 

HISTORY FOR ZOLOFT TAPER

Feb. 2016 to June 2016  - Was on 150mg Zoloft.  Put on Gabapentin at 900mg a day in 2016 due to antidepressant withdrawal. 

Quit Zoloft (Sertraline) June  2016,  reinstated 50mg of Zoloft July 2016.  From July 2016  to October 2016 went from 50 mg down 2.3 mg. I up-dosed in November 2016 to 12.5 mg. Held there until January 2017 when I started a much slower taper.

STARTING SENSIBLE  ZOLOFT TAPERING USING GUIDELINES FROM THIS SITE

Dec. 10 2016  - switched to Liquid Zoloft (Sertraline) @ 12.5 mg.   Jan. 4, 2020 1.875 mg (6.3%). Jan. 25, 2020 1.75 mgFeb. 29, 2020 1.625mg (7.10%).  Apr. 4, 2020 1.5 mg.  May 9, 2020 1.375 mg.  June 6, 2020 1.25 mg. (9.10%).  July 4, 2020 1.125 mg. (10%).  August 15, 2020 1.0 mg.  Oct 24, 2020 .875 mg.  Nov. 28, 2020 .75mgJan 16, 2021 .685mg (8.7%).  Feb 13, 2021 .62mg. March 12, 2021 .56mg.  May 1, 2021 .375mg.  May 29, 2021 .25mg. June 26, 2021 .0125mg. July 25, 2021 .065mg. August 22, 2021 .048mg.  October 2, 2021 .043mg.  October 10, 2021 .038mg.  October 23, 2021 .035mg.  October 30, 2021 .032mg.  Nov. 13, 2021 .030 mg.  Dec 4, 2021 .0285 mg.  Dec 11, 2021 .0265 mg. Dec 18, 2021 .0246 mg. Dec 25, 2021 .023mg. Jan 1, 2022. 0 mg. OFF COMPLETELY

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Thanks, RS.  It is my dry wit showing through notwithstanding a fair level of distress.

 

I appreciate your input.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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Hi Andy, 

 

I am sorry to hear about your sleep, that sure is frustrating .  That is not back to square one,  more of one step back but then two steps forward.  It will be okay Andy .  I have no doubt that in the next few days your sleep will go back to normal.  Hang in there 

 

I read your update and it is truly encouraging.  The fact that you continue to work full time be there for your family is a big sign.  You are doing everything you can and beyond.  Acceptance is tough and I can so relate.  I do believe that time helps with that for sure .  

 

I also take valtrex and I worry as well that it effects me too much (drowsy) so I also alternate the days or take it on the weekends when I am home .  Hopefully it will help you with the burning mouth soon .  I feel like all of us here want to take less of an sort of med, even Advil or cold medicine .  

 

Anyways I just wanted to stop by and say that I am thinking of you.   Hopefully you can take a day off from work or work from home and then catch up on some sleep .  

 

04/10 Luvox 25 mg PM, Nortriptyline 1 mg PM

03/08/19: Buspar 2.5 mg AM, 5 mg PM

01/01/19: Xanax 0.125 AM 5 times a week. Occasionally, 0.125 twice a day AM & noon

12/18 Armour Thyroid 60 mg (for hypothyroidism) 

 

Supplements: B Complex, B12 (adeno), multi-vitamin, D, Adrenal Cortex, iron

  • Lexapro 20 mg 2007 - 2013 with various attempts to stop
  • 2013 found a new Dr and started trying other meds: Prozac, Notryptoline, Effexor, Buspar, Gabapentin, Paxil, Nardil
  • Lexapro 15 mg 2015 - 04/2016
  • Vibryiid 10 - 15mg 05/16-06/16 
  • NO MEDS 07/16 - 10/31/16
  • Reinstated 10/31/16 at 2.5 mg lexapro, increased to 5 mg   
  • 1/13/17 switched to Luvox 50 mg before bed
  • 1/20/17 Luvox 37.5 mg PM
  • 12/18 Luvox 10 mg PM, Nortriptyline 2 mg (started Nortriptyline 06/17 at 10 mg)
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  • Moderator Emeritus
15 minutes ago, Blondiee1915 said:

 

I read your update and it is truly encouraging.  The fact that you continue to work full time be there for your family is a big sign.  You are doing everything you can and beyond.  Acceptance is tough and I can so relate.  I do believe that time helps with that for sure .  

 

Thanks so much for the visit and words of encouragement, Blondiee.  It is hard but it is worthwhile.

 

15 minutes ago, Blondiee1915 said:

I also take valtrex and I worry as well that it effects me too much (drowsy) so I also alternate the days or take it on the weekends when I am home .  Hopefully it will help you with the burning mouth soon .  I feel like all of us here want to take less of an sort of med, even Advil or cold medicine .

 

Interestingly, I did some research and found this:

 

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15278008

 

So, for now I will be trying topical honey in lieu of the Valtrex.  If that works, no issue.  If not, then I have to decide.

 

Hope you are doing  as well as possible.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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  • Moderator

What's the old adage, "no good deed goes unpunished".  It happens so often you can't think it's coincidence, but there are so many variables it probably is.  For a while there I was at a point I wouldn't even tell my wife I was feeling better because I'd get slammed the next day. Sorry it had to happen after such a supportive response, hope things settle out soon.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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  • Moderator
8 hours ago, apace41 said:

Thanks, Frogie.

:)

 

PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal, Prilosec and Zantac from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, Levothyroxine 25mcg, Vitamin C, Krill oil.

Xanax 1mg 3x day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) 3x day to .003 grams 3x day. April 1, 2021 went back on 1mg a day. Started tapering May 19, 2023. July 28, 2023-approximately .87mg. Dr. fast tapered me at the end and realized he messed up. Prescribe it again and I am doing "slower than a turtle" taper.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

I am not a medical professional.

The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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