apace41: tapering Zoloft / sertraline

[apace41]

To me, not heading the ball just makes sense, as the couple of times I've done it, it was just plain painful. 

 

The problem is, Tom, that it is an integral part of the game, and the game, as currently constructed, can't be played at a high level without it.  At the youth level, which here in the US is NOT uniformly governed as to heading to my knowledge, parents can step in and tell their kid not to head the ball, but, after a certain point, that will hold a player back from advancement.

 

Of course, 30+ years ago, when I was playing in my prime, we didn't know SQUAT, so I spent hours after practice with my coach just heading balls over and over and over. 

 

It is not clear what it takes to create CTE (chronic traumatic encephalopathy) but here is a brief summary of what it is:

 

Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE) is a progressive degenerative disease of the brain found in athletes (and others) with a history of repetitive brain trauma, including symptomatic concussions as well as asymptomatic subconcussive hits to the head. CTE has been known to affect boxers since the 1920s. However, recent reports have been published of neuropathologically confirmed CTE in retired professional football players and other athletes who have a history of repetitive brain trauma. This trauma triggers progressive degeneration of the brain tissue, including the build-up of an abnormal protein called tau.  These changes in the brain can begin months, years, or even decades after the last brain trauma or end of active athletic involvement.  The brain degeneration is associated with memory loss, confusion, impaired judgment, impulse control problems, aggression, depression, and, eventually, progressive dementia.

 

Definitely scary stuff.

 

Andy

 

For those interested, this is a very well-written article squarely on point.

 

http://www.newyorker.com/news/sporting-scene/cost-header

[Fresh]

Andy ,  if you even suspect you have TBI from soccer , it's only sensible to get yourself tested.

 

Particularly if this is a degenerative condition , as the above info. suggests.  

It's important for your future to know.  Do it for your wife and kid/s if not yourself.

[apace41]

That would be great, Fresh, but there is no way to test any of this.

 

I mean I've had CT and MRI over the years which showed nothing degenerative so...

 

The only tests that are conclusive for any of these conditions are brain studies after you are dead. 

 

They need to study the brain tissue.  I'm not giving them any.

 

I don't really show many signs of dementia to be honest.  It's just something I wonder about as a cause of the initial diagnosis of dysthymia.

 

Andy

[pug]

Andy,

 

I don't visit much lately, to focus all my energy on recovery, but I often think about your journey and how you are doing. I hope all is well and you are meeting with success and holding on to much hope.

 

Take care my friend.

[JanCarol]

Hey Andy!  Finally, I read your thread!  (sorry, I am the slowest mod in the biz, I try to make up for it by being thorough.)

 

The bit about soccer and TBI, well, it's real.  My best friend (doctor-friend, you hear me talk about her a lot) has a son who was soccer mad.  She was ecstatic because it wasn't high impact like basketball (knees) or football (heads, spine, knees), and promoted excellent cardio health, running running running.  On his 15th birthday, he had a grand mal seizure.  They SAY they cannot trace the cause, but it's like you say - multiple tiny TBI's are really hard to diagnose.  Hopefully the young lad looked at his choice:  to drive a car in the future, or to continue playing soccer? and chose the car.  I haven't checked in on this, it really stressed his Mum out.

 

BUT here's the thing:  done is done.  The best thing to do is not do it again - and keep a loving eye on your daughter.  Hopefully she wasn't exposed to the same drills as you!  I remember that, the soccer lads at school felt that repeated drills would "toughen up the head," and there is some truth to that, but it requires um, centuries of evolution, in addition to the drills?  (STORY:  this is hearsay, but my understanding of the native aboriginal Australian skull was that it was thicker, due to their legal punishment system of blows-to-the head.  AND 30,000 years of evolution with this tribal practice.  Unfortunately, in one breeding cross, this trait is lost, and if they inflicted their traditional punishment, it  could be fatal.  Now, a "spear to the thigh" is one of the punishments still executed in some tribal laws.)

 

The good news is, even if it is TBI, your CBD (see Cannabis thread) should help that, over time, along with fish oils and coconut oils.  My herbalist has me on Bacopa for the damage done to me (also called Brahmi) - says you need at least 3 months to build up brain benefit.  Additionally, she insists that I take lecithin and Phosphatidyl Serine and Choline.  OR - eat sunflower and pumpkin seeds.  (these contain helpful amounts of selenium and zinc, too).  As always, try supplments carefully, and refer to http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/606-important-topics-about-tests-supplements-treatments-diet/ to see about other's experiences.

 

You mention:

The challenge for me is, at least in part, that I am a CPAP user for apnea.  I do not fall into the typical apnea sufferer category in that I am not overweight but, instead, have been blessed with an oversize (17 inch) neck (oversized because I'm only 5'8" (leaves me built sort of like, well... a fire hydrant?) that has led to structural apnea.

 

The difficulty is that I have been extremely compliant with my machine over the years but, of late, I've grown tired of it.  I suspect that withdrawal has played a role in that as I don't have the patience I used to for dealing with it.  I also find that some of the sensations I have in withdrawal, e.g., numbness and tingling, are irritating to me and impact sleep.  Overall, my sleep is better than many on this board so I don't want to overstate.

 

Yeah, I'm sick of CPAP and I haven't even started yet.  Hubby's CPAP is enough to have in the house.  Again, the good news is, start singing:

 

and

 

especially the "ng ng ng" (saaaannng, biiing, nooong) and "G" sounds "gaaaa giii geeeee gooooh, guuuuu" and "gu-gu-gu-gu-gu"  to strengthen the INSIDE muscles of your throat.

 

It's not that your fire-hydrant neck is overbuilt, it's that the soft stuff inside isn't as well trained as the outside!  

 

Sadly, I cannot stand the sound of my voice since thyroid surgery.  I try to spend some time chanting in the car and acupuncture and hot tub, but my vocal chords are damaged, and I have a lot of work to do to build them up.  But you, you still have vocal chords, I can hear them from here!  Go get 'm tiger!  ROAR!  

 

My dizziness started back in 1986 when I was on vacation and was sunning myself daily on a dock that was gently swaying in with the ocean.  Lovely except that after perhaps the 3rd or 4th day I got up from the dock and still felt the sense of motion.  I went for all kinds of testing and it never really was resolved.  It was for that I was first prescribed a benzo and, I believe, that the benzo led me to ultimately need an AD.  So, this dizziness "thing" is at the core of my situation in some way.  Over time I've looked at a lot of possible diagnoses but one that keeps coming back to me is Mal de Debarquement. 

 

For those of you playing along at home, here is a linkhttps://en.wikipedia...de_debarquement  In essence, this is a disease where the sense of motion continues in the absence of motion.  Again, the theory behind this is that the brain is unable to reset to its "non-motion" situation.  Not sure that's what I have and I have frequently wanted to view this false sense of motion/dizziness as a withdrawal symptom, however, it predated my initial foray onto psych drugs, so... that argues for some underlying organic condition (with the understanding it could be attributable solely to the anxiety and depression that existing beneath it all).  The similarity in the two, i.e., focusing on the brain not resetting is striking to me. 

 

Ah-hah!  Me too!

 

Mine was somewhere in between what you experienced and "land sickness."  Normal land sickness goes away after a few hours.  I went on a very rough pre-spring Caribbean Cruise - 5 days - but there were times that the tilt was quite sickening - hubby's vertigo was very unhappy on the ship.  I took the ship in stride - loved it in fact (I have seafarers in my genes!).  When we embarked at port, I didn't notice anything - but when we LANDED - for 3 weeks to the month, any time I walked through a door, I had to adjust my brain to the tilt (or non-tilt, as the case actually was) of the room and sway a bit.  I called it "sea legs," and just thought it was "land sickness."  BUT it went wayyy too long for normal "land sickness."  I was still tilting at 2-3 weeks out.  

 

By then I was an SA'r, and didn't think much about it.  Just laughed and went on my way.  BUT - I do not work, I was on holiday, it didn't interfere with driving or functioning.  IF IT HAD BEEN MORE SEVERE, and I DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER, I might have sought help from a doc.  (BTW, the antihistamines Serc and Antivert would've been better choices than damn benzos!)

 

So no hammocks for you, then?  I've always wondered about hammocks - spinal support?  swaying at sea while sleeping?  Hmmmm.  Maybe not?

 

NOTE:  Yoga balance exercises may be of benefit to you.  This one is not too bad - but if you are like most men I know, I recommend you use blocks to support correct spinal alignment in your forward fold (fold from hips, not upper back):

 

It's a delight to read your thread, Andy Apace - you've got a bright and contagious positive attitude that is a huge boon to our little village here.  I'm honored to claim to know you!  You can do this!

 

 

[JanCarol]

Aw geez, that post took on a life of it's own!  Franken-post!    

[bromor]

I'm not knowledgable in TBI & I do tend to agree with not giving your brain tissue for study! . However ~ thinking that you probably can't go wrong to support your brain function & balance in whatever natural ways you can. The brain's neuro plasticity is truly nothing short of amazing.

[apace41]

Andy,

 

I don't visit much lately, to focus all my energy on recovery, but I often think about your journey and how you are doing. I hope all is well and you are meeting with success and holding on to much hope.

 

Take care my friend.

 

 

Pug,

 

Thanks as always for your kindness and interest.  I'm hanging in there and continue to try to keep the positive going.

 

You stay well my friend and congrats on the 1 year mark!

 

You are healing,

 

Andy

[apace41]

I started a new topic for this article in "Tapering" but thought I'd put it here as well.

 

Awesome article. Need more docs like Kelly Brogan!

 

Andy

 

http://kellybroganmd.com/article/stop-madness-coming-psych-meds/

[KarenB]

It's incredible to read words like that and know they are written by a doctor.  I especially love the words 'The patient is rarely wrong.'  Thanks for posting the article.

[bromor]

Thanks for stopping by my journal. Hope you are feeling well ~ I certainly appreciate how positive and supportive you are to others.

[apace41]

So nice of you to stop by to say that, Bromor.

[apace41]

Trying to find the best place to post this so I figured I'd start here. 

 

http://stateofyourhealth.com/live2

 

At 9AM PST, 12 noon EST and 3AM tomorrow (in some parts of Australia) Kelly Brogan will be speaking at the attached.  It will also be on tape so those of you down under (including you Kiwis) don't need to be up at all hours.

 

She's always good to hear speak.

 

Andy

[apace41]

Good stuff to watch on psychiatric drugs from a few months ago.  Panel with Whittaker, Kirsch, Gabriel Cousens, and former Drug rep Gwen Olsen. Very compelling.  2 parts -- about an hour each.

 

http://www.therealtruthabouthealth.com/2015-conference-replays/watch/64/the-truth-about-pharmaceutical-drugs-and-medical-industry-part-1

 

http://www.therealtruthabouthealth.com/2015-conference-replays/watch/64/the-truth-about-pharmaceutical-drugs-and-medical-industry-part-1

 

Very worthwhile,

 

Andy

[apace41]

So, it's been quite a while since I've updated and I thought this would be a good time.  Like many, I was hoping to find a nice window so my post would be positive and cheerful but that is not the case.  I have been on a hold since early October and was really hoping that I would stabilize and feel really good so that I could start the last 25mg of taper.  Instead of feeling better to be honest I've felt worse for the most part.

 

I went away on an annual vacation to Florida the last two weeks of January.  I fly my family down and drive down to meet them.  It's a 16 hour drive so that is kind of stressful.  I guess the fact that I can do that is a sign that I'm in decent shape but it's hard to say what toll that takes on the body and mind.  I will say that the first week on vacation I was pretty good.  Not great but at least a mini-window where I could enjoy some things, people, relaxed, read and overall was in a pretty good place.  Second week my anxiety and symptoms ramped up and ever since then I've been dealing with very bad dizziness.  Feeling off-balance and out of sync most of the time.  While dizziness is a pretty common symptom of w/d, it triggers severe health anxiety for me and I start thinking about other things it might be.  This spirals things out of control and makes it hard to function. 

 

Importantly, I would note that 30 years ago, before I ever took any psychotropics, I was hit with unexplained dizziness that led me to my first benzo since my doctors did not find any cause and assumed dizziness due to anxiety.  That may be correct, but this latest bout has triggered in me the fear that I will wind up back on benzos or something else to deal with this issue. 

 

I came back from my trip on New Year's Eve, dropped my family at the airport at 5AM and drove the 16 and a half hours straight through so I could be home for New Year's Eve.  I'm probably largely paying the price for that piece of idiocy.  Couple that with the fact that I went back to work on Monday and was absolutely slammed with a ton of high stress matters at the job and, well.. perfect storm for feeling kind of crappy.  I've been less active on the site because of the job pressure, the life pressure and the head pressure. 

 

This condition, as you all know, is so hard because it plays with your mind and hits you in your weakest places.  For me that is fear that something is going on other than withdrawal.  The fact that my "original" symptom has resurfaced with a vengeance only serves to make this fear even worse. 

 

My plan is still to restart my taper this coming weekend.  I have not seen enough upside from holding for 3 months to feel like a continued hold is warranted.  Not really sure what else to do but to try to continue to get off the poison and hope that as I go lower it will get better.

 

Any words are welcome -- words of encouragement especially appreciated.

 

Best to all,

 

Andy

[rattledbytherush]

Hi Andy,

 

Just wanted to offer some support and encouragement as you continue your journey. I am planning on beginning my first sertraline taper in a long time very soon, and you have all kinds of fantastic information on this thread. So for that, I thank you.

 

For me the number one cause of all of my stress is sleep. During the few, short times that I was completely off medication, a one or two hour difference, temperature, light--anything--made an enormous difference. Trying to counteract it with coffee always gets me feeling dizzy from lack of sleep and dehydration too. Hoping to cut it out soon, though, to help stabilize energy levels. I would rather feel either consistently crappy or okay than to be up and down all day.

 

Driving as much as you did + the holiday season in general would make me feel a little insane. I'm sorry to hear about your dizzy spells and anxiety. I hate feeling like my motor skills are being taken over by a sloth. My blood pressure has always been a little lower than average, so anytime I stand up I get a head rush/blackout. It's annoying, but my doctors have never found it to be anything serious, even though I sometimes get nauseous too.

 

 

I don't know very much about tapering (yet) nor do I have any great advice, but you seem like a very intelligent and wise person. In whatever case you're feeling panicked, I'm willing to bet that you are way stronger than you think. I kind of feel like all of us here are a first wave clan of fighters to this industry and a culture that encourages the suppression of any negative feelings, much less assigning connotations to human emotion at all. As long as you are confident and persevere in what you're doing, you're being a huge inspiration to everyone. 

 

PS: The fact that you were still able to survive the holidays and get straight back to work is impressive sheerly from a human standpoint, haha.

 

Peace,

RBR

[nz11]

Wow 16 hrs ...thats some drive! You must have passed a fair few crackerbarrels !

Thanks for update nice to see that soccerball back on the 'header' page again. (pun intended)

 

That looks a very interesting link on the whitaker conference. At first i thought it was the cep one then i looked and realised its a different one . Noticed that Kirsch and Owen are in the speaker lineup ....thats funny cos i just ordered their books from the library and got the email yesterday to go and pick them up so i think that will be a great listen ....ugh! so much great stuff to read and listen to . Andy how  do you manage to fit a job in as well?

 

 

This condition, as you all know, is so hard because it plays with your mind and hits you in your weakest places. 

 

Boy did you totally nail it with that sentence! Got it in one.

[bubble]

Oh Andy! It's nice that you have shared what you are going through. Strangely, a lot of what you said resonates with how I've been feeling lately.

 

I also started getting very wobbly in October and things have been only getting worse since then. When you mention that the original symptom that led you to start taking the drugs resurfaced, that's exactly what has happened to me. In my case it was panic attacks which I hadn't had for over 10 years. What I keep telling myself (although find it very hard to believe) is that we are not the same people we were all those years back. 

 

We have much more experience and knowledge to enable us to take a better care of ourselves now. As I keep saying to other members who are struggling, although I feel our situations to be very similar, I can look at your situation with much greater clarity than on mine. What I would like to see for you is to be a lot more easy on yourself. Protect yourself more, put yourself first, second, third...even if that seems difficult, selfish, not feasible.- in particular if it feels like that. I know I should take a sick leave but for all the just mentioned reasons I think I can't. I see that you also have a lot of reasons against that. One of them being that you have just come back from a holiday. But this was not the case for your brain. It didn't get its due. 

 

I would say that a better self care and putting ourselves first at the expense of everything and everyone else is a lesson we have to learn from this experience.

 

I wouldn't push the taper although you don't feel the benefit of holding. That would be more stress for your brain. I also see that I will have to hold for much longer than I thought and I don't like this one bit. That was not part of the plan. But I'm so unwell that I can't even be frustrated.

 

I don't think this kind of feedback was what you expected but I see two replies have just arrived and I believe they will be more spot on

 

We will make it. Maybe not in the way we planned but we will.  

[bromor]

I'm so sorry to hear that you've had a rough time. Have you ever thought about a naturopath or functional med doctor to help? I'm only asking because the doc I'm working with has helped me so much!! I'm still dealing with some withdrawal symptoms but nothing like I was before. I think that so many of us actually have underlying physical issues & instead of doctors trying to find out what is causing the symptom(s) ~ they hand you AD or benzos. I don't mean to be on a soapbox about it. Anyway, for what it's worth, the doc who is helping me is in another state but does phone consults after testing ect. Hang in there ~ better days are ahead! ????

[apace41]

I don't know very much about tapering (yet) nor do I have any great advice, but you seem like a very intelligent and wise person. In whatever case you're feeling panicked, I'm willing to bet that you are way stronger than you think. I kind of feel like all of us here are a first wave clan of fighters to this industry and a culture that encourages the suppression of any negative feelings, much less assigning connotations to human emotion at all. As long as you are confident and persevere in what you're doing, you're being a huge inspiration to everyone. 

 

Rattled,

 

Thanks so much for your post.  Very sweet and I love your name and what you wrote. 

 

I confess to reading the part about "intelligent and wise" and feeling compelled to look up your profile.

 

Then I realized that you are a little over a month older than my oldest daughter and I realized that I'm "over the hill." 

 

I just went mid-post to check your thread and saw that your intro post was not responded to.  On behalf of the board I apologize for that.

 

Happy to provide you thoughts on your situation as I think your goal of getting off the meds is vary admirable.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[apace41]

 Andy how  do you manage to fit a job in as well?

 

NZ11,

 

Thanks as always for jumping in.  Always enjoy your posts and shared interest in the conferences, webinars, etc.

 

I've been doing what I do for 30 years and I'm really, really good at it by now.  Not bragging -- just am.  I can get what I need to do most of the time done in about 3/4 of the time I have allotted so I use the rest to follow up on this stuff, etc.  I also spend a lot of free time listening and learning.  Keeping the mind active is the only way to fight off the brain fog that comes along with all this nonsense.  Even when it hurts to think I try to force myself to do so.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[PapaBear]

Hi Andy,

 

It is good to hear from you though I am sorry that you see no improvement since the last taper. Maybe your intended drop will bring some relief! I keep my fingers crossed!

 

Reading your worries about dizziness I don't think that a serious health problem would take so long to return or to manifest itself. So it would either be progressive or existent all the time. I mean if the benzos or the AD helped in a way then it is probably either really from anxiety or a kind of psychosomatic problem. In any case maybe you now find a good way to cope with it, which - without or with reduced AD - I am sure you will achieve. Reading your posts you seem too clever not to (if you are not driving 16hours nonstop;-) )

 

All the best,

PB

[apace41]

 

I don't think this kind of feedback was what you expected but I see two replies have just arrived and I believe they will be more spot on

 

Au contraire, Bubble, any response from you is always valued.  I so appreciate your thoughtfulness and knowing your own struggles feel a kindred spirit with you.  Your input is greatly appreciated and self-care is, as you point out, so valuable.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[apace41]

I'm so sorry to hear that you've had a rough time. Have you ever thought about a naturopath or functional med doctor to help? I'm only asking because the doc I'm working with has helped me so much!! I'm still dealing with some withdrawal symptoms but nothing like I was before. I think that so many of us actually have underlying physical issues & instead of doctors trying to find out what is causing the symptom(s) ~ they hand you AD or benzos. I don't mean to be on a soapbox about it. Anyway, for what it's worth, the doc who is helping me is in another state but does phone consults after testing ect. Hang in there ~ better days are ahead!

 

Thank you for your thoughts, Bromor.  I have been working with an integrative doctor (who is an MD but has strong leanings in the functional space).  I have had many of the tests that are not routinely given by conventional docs, tests for leaky gut, zinc and copper levels, lyme, etc.  I've had several gene expression tests as well.  Also some detailed inflammation testing (interleukin levels, etc.).  So far nothing that really jumps out that would account for my feeling "off."  I think what I need to do is continue my taper and see where I am 6 months to a year from now.  If I still have the same symptoms of dizziness, etc. I would do further follow up with a functional doc to seek "root cause resolution".  Who are you working with if you would care to share?

 

Thanks for your thoughts and insight, Bromor. 

 

I appreciate your input.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[apace41]

Hi Andy,

 

It is good to hear from you though I am sorry that you see no improvement since the last taper. Maybe your intended drop will bring some relief! I keep my fingers crossed!

 

Reading your worries about dizziness I don't think that a serious health problem would take so long to return or to manifest itself. So it would either be progressive or existent all the time. I mean if the benzos or the AD helped in a way then it is probably either really from anxiety or a kind of psychosomatic problem. In any case maybe you now find a good way to cope with it, which - without or with reduced AD - I am sure you will achieve. Reading your posts you seem too clever not to (if you are not driving 16hours nonstop;-) )

 

All the best,

PB

 

 

PB,

 

Of all my online friends I feel the worst that I've "neglected" you as I've seen you post and know you have been through your own struggles.  Thus, I really appreciate your coming onto my thread to provide me with support when I was looking for some.  I will definitely make it my business to give you my thoughts on your thread as you are a good person and deserve that much in return!

 

Your points are well-taken.  If this is an anxiety-driven issue it makes sense that it would get worse during withdrawal and your logical analysis about my catastrophizing helps me see it for what it is.  As you know, when you are in the throes of it everything seems like you are falling off a cliff and you can't reason your way back on the ledge.

 

Hoping for better times for all of us.

 

Thanks again, PB.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[bromor]

Glad to hear you have explored the more "natural" route. Chiropractic is always good too. The doctor I'm working with is Dr. Rob at Alternacare. I know many don't agree with the different testing. Dr. Rob did test my hormones, cortisol & my liver/gut function. I wasn't surprised at the results ~ just further cemented the thought that our gut and brain are truly connected!! And he didn't just shove adrenal glandulars at me ~ which cause me to have panic attacks. Anyway, I can't say enough good about him. I feel I'm finally on the right path to healing ~ just wish I wouldn't have taken a 9 year Zoloft detour! Best to you.

[apace41]

Glad to hear you have explored the more "natural" route. Chiropractic is always good too. The doctor I'm working with is Dr. Rob at Alternacare. I know many don't agree with the different testing. Dr. Rob did test my hormones, cortisol & my liver/gut function. I wasn't surprised at the results ~ just further cemented the thought that our gut and brain are truly connected!! And he didn't just shove adrenal glandulars at me ~ which cause me to have panic attacks. Anyway, I can't say enough good about him. I feel I'm finally on the right path to healing ~ just wish I wouldn't have taken a 9 year Zoloft detour! Best to you.

 

Very interesting website, Bromor.  Looks pretty comprehensive.  Do you feel like you are getting good personal attention?

 

Thanks,

 

Andy

[apace41]

I posted this in current events  but thought I'd also post here for those who "follow" me:

 

I found this fascinating and promising regarding neurogenesis. 

 

http://www.ted.com/t...ells_here_s_how       

 

One thing I note, however, is the statement that is made which suggests an even greater level of certainty of the mechanism of action of antidepressants on neurogenesis and the positive effect that has in countering depression.   This will become the rallying cry of Big Pharma, i.e., these drugs DO work -- just in a different way than we thought.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[bromor]

Yes, very much so. I've had a rough few weeks with gallbladder issues & I have his personal work email. He asked me to email him to follow up how I was responding to the supplement to help my gallbladder. I got a response back within 20 minutes!! And this was in the evening! I'm beyond impressed & yes, it's pricy but IMO so very much worth it. On another note, think of how everyone was told to eat low fat ect for cholesterol & our hearts ~ and that totally backfired!! I'm tired of band aids for a cure.

[apace41]

Wow, Bromor! Sounds awesome!

 

Best,

 

Andy

[Petunia]

The first thought that went through my mind after reading your update was, "Sounds like Andy's been overdoing it a bit lately"

 

Then I read what Bubble wrote and have to agree, perhaps some slowing down and more self care is in order.

 

I'm sorry you're struggling now, but from where I'm sitting, its not surprising. Even good stress is stress, our NS doesn't know the difference.

 

Of course I don't know this, but my guess is your original symptom was caused by stress and that's probably the cause of it now. Only now you have the added stress that you are still healing after your benzo taper and are currently tapering Sertraline. Even though you tapered slowly from K, you were on it a long time and probably should have waited a while before tapering Sertraline.

 

From what I've learned during my time here, after long term drug use, even after a slow careful taper, the nervous system can remain vulnerable for some time, I've seen 2 years mentioned. This would indicate to me that waiting a while before beginning the next taper might be best, unless life is completely stress free, which it sounds like yours isn't.

 

Then there is Alto's famous saying about our nervous systems being resilient, but not made of rubber. If Rhi were here, I have a feeling she would also be in favor of more holding and self care.

 

I'm going to shut up now and just send some hugs.

[apace41]

The first thought that went through my mind after reading your update was, "Sounds like Andy's been overdoing it a bit lately"

 

Then I read what Bubble wrote and have to agree, perhaps some slowing down and more self care is in order.

 

I'm sorry you're struggling now, but from where I'm sitting, its not surprising. Even good stress is stress, our NS doesn't know the difference.

 

Of course I don't know this, but my guess is your original symptom was caused by stress and that's probably the cause of it now. Only now you have the added stress that you are still healing after your benzo taper and are currently tapering Sertraline. Even though you tapered slowly from K, you were on it a long time and probably should have waited a while before tapering Sertraline.

 

From what I've learned during my time here, after long term drug use, even after a slow careful taper, the nervous system can remain vulnerable for some time, I've seen 2 years mentioned. This would indicate to me that waiting a while before beginning the next taper might be best, unless life is completely stress free, which it sounds like yours isn't.

 

Then there is Alto's famous saying about our nervous systems being resilient, but not made of rubber. If Rhi were here, I have a feeling she would also be in favor of more holding and self care.

 

I'm going to shut up now and just send some hugs.

Thanks so much for your thoughts, Petu.

 

Had a rough night of anxiety and dizziness last night which was enough to convince me you all suggesting holding off on the taper resumption are wise. I think the "overdoing it" characterization is fair. It's hard to balance care for self with care for others but I need to do a better job.

 

I definitely wish I had taken time between my benzo taper and my SSRI taper but who knew? I had yet to find SA.

 

Thanks again for your wisdom.

 

Andy

[Fresh]

I'm pleased to hear you've rethunk it Andy.

I was worried when I saw " I think what I need to do is continue my taper and see where I am 6 months to a year from now."

 

If the dizziness is w/d related it should abate in the next months. The risk of ploughing on reducing is that a flood of worse symptoms could be triggered.

 

Bear in mind that you have a far more difficult lifestyle than many of us. Working full time as a lawyer

is taxing even for "well" people. Throw the occasional 16 hour drive on top of that and it's bound to take it's toll.

To compare , whilst I seem to be doing very well on many levels , if I go out for 3 hours , say to the park then grocery shopping , I can hardly move for the next 2 days !! My thinking is foggy , my body feels like lead , and it's all I can do to eat well and sleep on and off all day.

 

So be gentle on yourself Andy.

My new phrase for the week: this is a marathon , not a sprint.

 

[apace41]

I'm pleased to hear you've rethunk it Andy.I was worried when I saw " I think what I need to do is continue my taper and see where I am 6 months to a year from now."If the dizziness is w/d related it should abate in the next months. The risk of ploughing on reducing is that a flood of worse symptoms could be triggered.Bear in mind that you have a far more difficult lifestyle than many of us. Working full time as a lawyeris taxing even for "well" people. Throw the occasional 16 hour drive on top of that and it's bound to take it's toll.To compare , whilst I seem to be doing very well on many levels , if I go out for 3 hours , say to the park then grocery shopping , I can hardly move for the next 2 days !! My thinking is foggy , my body feels like lead , and it's all I can do to eat well and sleep on and off all day.So be gentle on yourself Andy.My new phrase for the week: this is a marathon , not a sprint.

A quote I use often Fresh.

 

Thanks as always for your friendship and support.

 

Andy

[starcontrol2]

Hi Andy,

 

You have been great support to me I will try to give my support as well.

I had health anxiety before i took ad, and now I don't because maybe I am so bad many days that I don't care.

Anxiety manifests itself in health anxiety, it can be different manifestation for everyone.

Try to think that it is not health worry but a symptom of anxiety itself. Also, what does being afraid of being sick mean to you? Early death? Death in general? Have inability to do certain things in life? Not being there for your kids? Perhaps if you narrow down what exactly you fear you can handle exactly that. It is not the illness you fear.

I think I know why I ended up so bad that i went for a med but once so far down it was very hard for me to handle life.

[bromor]

Hi Andy. Just wanted to see how you were feeling. Has the dizziness gotten better?