☼ Matthew914: Generic vs brand name Paxil

[Matthew914]

Hello Everyone, I thought I would post a somewhat "success" story from the discontinuation of Paxil. On April 24th, 2016 I took my last sliver of this horrible drug. Over the past 14 months I have rode the roller coaster of withdrawals effects that I have seen many people post on this site. I have experienced just about everything from insomnia, paxil flu, anxiety, agoraphobia, suicidal thoughts, hopelessness, agitation, aggravation, sexual numbness, vision problems, confusion, etc, (I am sure I am missing some, so add in forgetfulness). 

 

For the most part, I am back to somewhat normal (whatever definition that is), however lately I have been experiencing a constant head pain on the right side of my head. If you remember, I had a post on hear asking about Paxil and Garcinia Cambogia and throughout all those post all I talked about was RIGHT SIDE SHARP HEAD PAIN. To this day, I am still battling this sharp right side head pain. Last year I had an MRI on my head and nothing came up.

 

In addition, I have been experiencing vision problems in my right eye. To describe this feeling, imagine walking around with a suction cup on the right side of your head and don't take it off. Its really annoying. But beyond that, I feel great. I have made it this far with great support from my wife, luckily I own my own business and can work from home, watching what I eat, drinking Apple Cider Vinegar along with Fiber shakes everyday.

 

I know I have seen a lot of non success stories on this site, so I wanted to share my story to give hope to all of you out there still suffering. Hang in there and Pray everyday. It will get better. Time Heals All.

Edited June 28, 2017 by scallywag
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[kubie]

I had to read something like this! Thank you! Im too on Paxil (10mg right now)  and will be tapering in 2 months. Be proud of yourself! Have a nice day

[KarenB]

That's a really encouraging story Matthew - thanks so much for thinking of everyone here and taking the time to update us.  I hope you'll do so again when that head issue lets up.  Sounds like it's the last lingering thing. 

[Matthew914]

Hello Everyone. I wanted to give you an update. I feel like I am going into a wave or a setback as I approach my 18month off Paxil mark. I have developed some flu like symptoms that I can't seem to get rid of.,,,,dry cough and stuffy nose are the two main symptoms. In addition, I am experiencing brain fog, digestive issues, bloating, and racing heartbeat. Have I hit a certain month off Paxil wave? I have tried to find other people on this site who are or have been at this point of withdrawal. What should I do? This just started a few days ago. I feel like my stomach is all messed up. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. 

[Altostrata]

Hello, Matthew. It sounds like you have developed an allergy or sensitivity to something, maybe to something you're eating?

 

You may wish to look into trying a non-irritating diet for a while, such as an exclusion diet http://www.precisionnutrition.com/elimination-diet

 

Also see

 

Food sensitivities
 
Gluten Sensitivity Vs. Celiac Disease Vs. Gluten Intolerance...
 
Histamine food intolerance
 
Diets for Supporting Recovery: Restriction, Ketosis, Raw, Low Carb

SCD/GAPS/Paleo Diets

 

How has the weather been this summer? Was it very hot or very wet? How are you sleeping?

[Matthew914]

Hi Altostrata,

Thank you for responding. I recently stopped eating eggs/sausage for breakfast and switched to a piece of whole grain toast with peanut butter. I wonder if the peanut butter could be the culprit? The toast can't be as I have ate the same toast for the past year usually with a jelly or plain. As for sleeping, I have been fine the last couple of months. Usually get 6-7 hours of sleep without waking up. Now, the last few night I have woke up and can't get back to sleep along with a couple night of a racing heartbeat. I feel like my stomach/digestive system is out of wack. I still continue to have a very bad dry couch and somewhat small chest tightness when breathing. I never thought about a food sensitivity. I will look into this. Have you heard of anyone else having problem hitting the 18 month mark being off Paxil?

[bhasski]

Mathew .. I am more than 18 mos off paxil . I tapered rather quickly with what I told of by the stupid psychialtrist.

 

I am having many symptoms. 

Head pain , sleep issues, stomach issues, cognitive difficulties which other people seem difficult to notice , memory, anger, ocd etc.

 

Though each symptom has bettered off in past mos.. but still I am far from me.

 

 

[Matthew914]

7 hours ago, bhasski said:

Mathew .. I am more than 18 mos off paxil . I tapered rather quickly with what I told of by the stupid psychialtrist.

 

I am having many symptoms. 

Head pain , sleep issues, stomach issues, cognitive difficulties which other people seem difficult to notice , memory, anger, ocd etc.

 

Though each symptom has bettered off in past mos.. but still I am far from me.

 

 

What type of stomach issues are you having? I feel very bloated and I think my dry couch is related to MY stomach issues. I am also experiencing eye problems. It's hard for me to read small text up close. I know I'm getting old and I so wear glasses but it's worse now than before. How many months are you off? How fast was your taper? Mine took 3 years. 

[bhasski]

Mine was a two week taper - or CT.

 

I also feel bloated, cannot digest things I eat usually... There is always a mild discomfort or pain and cramp in stomach.

 

I cannot read much as things seem blur.. Also dull and blackened.

 

I am off about 22 mos of paxil .. and 20 mos of any other drug.

[Matthew914]

 

Hello Everyone,

I am approaching 35 months off Paxil. For the most part the withdrawal ride has been ok, I have learned to deal with its many ups and downs. But  recently within the last week things have changed dramatically. I had my first panic attack yesterday  that scared me pretty good. I’m additon I have just not felt myself with all kinds of emotions. In a addition, I have suffered various types of right side only head pain. I had an MRI over a month ago and it came back negative. I went on a detox program last April and changed my whole eating routine and started some supplements through my functional doctor. For the most part i have felt good besides havinc my ups and downs. I have even been working out with a trainer 2 days a week and have lost over 30 lbs. I don’t know if this is temporary but I am just scared as to what the future holds. If this doesn’t go away should I look into getting back on something or just stay the course. I’m 46 yrs old and I feel like I’m in the prime of my life but every day lately is a struggle. Thoughts and advice would be greatly appreciated. 

Matthew. 

[Altostrata]

Hello, Matthew.

 

Detox regimens can be very hard on the body, especially if you've been sensitized by prolonged withdrawal syndrome. As you know, you can also be sensitive to supplements.

 

If I were you, I'd take a good look at the supplements you were taking before you had this downturn. Was there anything stimulating in them?

 

10 minutes ago, Matthew914 said:

I’m additon I have just not felt myself with all kinds of emotions

 

What kinds of emotions? Did this start when you did the detox, or can it be related to your supplements?

 

Does the head pain occur at any particular time? Is it related to when you take supplements? Is it in your sinuses, could it be an allergy?

[Matthew914]

I have always suffered from some sort of head pain and it’s always been directly on the right side only. The detox program I have been on has kind of brought it out more than in the past. For the most part I have been ok with the exception of the head pain. But more recently  within the last week or so something has changed. As I look back the only thing I can think of that I have changed in my routine is I took some magnesium citrate. I am wondering if that has done some thing to me. Other than that I have had some depersonalization feelings, anxiety,  some dizziness, agitation, etc. I have also hurt my back while working out and went to a chiropractor for adjusting. It’s just weird that now at almost 35 months off, this is the worst I have felt. 

[Matthew914]

Hello Everyone, I thought I would share somewhat of a success story with regards to Paxil. I just celebrated my 3 yr Anniversary from being off Paxil. For the most part it hasn’t been a smoothe ride but I feel like I have made it this far I can’t go back or quit. I was on this drug for 5 yrs for anxiety and depression. It took me 3 yrs to taper and now I am 3 yrs clean. I have suffered just about every withdrawal symptom mentioned on this site. However I am still battling a couple lingering symptoms which are head pain/zaps on the right side of my head and anhedonia. There are still days that it is a struggle to carry on but I continue to fight. For all of those who are suffering from all of this crap from anti-Depressants, just hold on and we will get through this. 

[BeWell]

Thank you

[hussy]

Thanks for the post. Did u also suffer sexual dysfunction?

[succubus76]

Great you have been disciplinated tapering the pill, and still suffering from the symptomps. Thank you for sharing you story, it helps us realizing that what we are been throught is not a whitdrawal , rather more like a permanent change in the brain. When you were on Praxil did you experience anhedonia? it seems that leaving the pill triggers anhedonia. Would you say that your anhedonia have been getting better thorugh the years? Hope you keep getting better! 

[RandyJames]

Thanks for taking posting this.  I hope you continue to improve.  

[Altostrata]

Hi, Matthew. I moved your posts here.

 

I'm happy you're doing better and hope you can write a success story soon. Because you're feeling better, I added our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol ☼ to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering.

 

I'm concerned about the brain zaps. It's unusual to have them this late in the recovery process.

 

Are you taking fish oil? How much? What has been your experience with magnesium before this?

 

Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually!

[Matthew914]

18 hours ago, hussy said:

Thanks for the post. Did u also suffer sexual dysfunction?

@hussy to answer your question, I have suffered some sexual dysfunction. Mainly genital numbness, and it comes and goes. For the most part the majority of the sexual dysfunction and anhedonia have come on in the last 6 months  

[Matthew914]

4 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Hi, Matthew. I moved your posts here.

 

I'm happy you're doing better and hope you can write a success story soon. Because you're feeling better, I added our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol ☼ to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering.

 

I'm concerned about the brain zaps. It's unusual to have them this late in the recovery process.

 

Are you taking fish oil? How much? What has been your experience with magnesium before this?

 

Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually!

@Altostrata in regards to the brain zaps, it’s more of a head pain constricted to the right side of my head. Now I have just started seeing a chiropractor and have learned that my whole right side neck area is very tight and stiff which could be the cause of my pain. I have been adjusted now 6 times and I am starting to feel better and the head pain is getting better. I do however suffer from anhedonia and sexual dysfunction which have come on strong in the last 6 months. These two are the worse effects that I would not rather have. To me this is the killer of what this drug does to us. Takes away the joy in our souls and the sexual feeling of our bodies.

 

i do take fish oil 1300mg one a day  along with some other supplements my functional doctor has prescribed. I don’t take much magnesium. I have though off and on over the past three years but didn’t see much of a change. 

 

I will continue to post my progress for whatever it’s worth. I feel that we all need more “positive” posts then always being negative.  

[Gridley]

20 minutes ago, Matthew914 said:

I don’t take much magnesium. I have though off and on over the past three years but didn’t see much of a change. 

 

Magnesium comes in many different forms and the results can differ.  I have had good results (calming) from magnesium glycinate. 

[Altostrata]

That sounds more like muscle spasms than brain zaps?

 

Chiropractic can help, also acupuncture. You might want to ask your chiro for gentle stretching exercises. The muscle tightness would happen to be on your mousing side, would it?

 

Magnesium oil rubbed on to tight muscles might also help them relax, plus the magnesium gets into your system without going through your gut.

 

Please look at your fish oil capsules.

Quote

Fish oil capsules contain the omega-3 fatty acids called EPA and DHA. For nervous system support, take 2,000-3,000 mg EPA + DHA a day. You may need to look at the label and add up the amounts of EPA + DHA in a capsule. Usually, this amounts to 4-6 capsules of fish oil per day.

 

[Matthew914]

@Altostrata I will definitely look into my fish oil. Question for you have you or are you experiencing any anhedonia during your recovery? 

[Altostrata]

I and many others experience emotional anesthesia. This can take a very long time to go away.

[Matthew914]

I wonder how many people have recovered from that. 

[Matthew914]

Hello Everyone,

I wanted to give an update on my condition. I was really doing well as I am approaching 4 yrs off Paxil. I was pretty much back to a somewhat normal life until I was hit with some difficult news. On October 11th, I was diagnosed with stage 3 color cancer after I had had 9 inches of my colon removed. The next day, I woke up having a major panic attack that took me to the hospital. I was then given Lorazepam 1mg and sent home. I really had my guard down, because I never did any research before taking it. What an idiot. I dont know why I didnt especially after all I have been through with Paxil, but I guess the Cancer diagnosis didnt't have me in the right frame of mind. Anyway, I started taking the Lorazepam 1mg 1 time a day on or about 10/13 or 10/14.  I took it on and off and then regularly every day. I then began chemo on 11/19 and kept taking it. Before my second chemo, I decided not to take it anymore as it was making my head hurt. Now I dont know if that was the lorazepam or the chemo or both. Then around 11/28/19 I decided to stop Cold Turkey and move on. I then started taking Ashwagandha root once a day and really felt great. Then after about a solid 7 days or so, I had a major WD symptoms and didnt know if I would make it. Finally on 12/9 I reinstated .5 mg and then the next day I upped back to 1mg. I have basically experienced all the WD symptoms imagineable. insomnia, anxiety, depersonalization, agoraphobia, sweating, breathing issues, etc. As of today 12/13, I am beginning to feel better as I am hoping to stabalize. Now that I am in this shape, I have DR GOOGLED lorazepam (like i should have before i took it) and WOW! This might be worse than Paxil, but I know I am strong and if I can do Paxil, I can do this. Mind over Matter. 

 

I am just looking for any advice, tips, etc as I begin a slow taper to get off this poison ASAP. Keeping in mind, that I will be doing this in the middle of receiving Chemo. UGH. What hell have I got myself in?

 

 

[Shep]

Matthew, don't beat yourself up for starting lorazepam. I've known people who had previously tapered a benzo and knew full well the dangers, but than when faced with a medical emergency, went back on a benzo. We do the best we can and no one will judge you here for using a benzo with such a severe life-threatening diagnosis. 

 

 

15 hours ago, Matthew914 said:

Anyway, I started taking the Lorazepam 1mg 1 time a day on or about 10/13 or 10/14.  I took it on and off and then regularly every day.

 

Please update your signature to reflect this information. A direct link to your signature is here:

 

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15 hours ago, Matthew914 said:

I am just looking for any advice, tips, etc as I begin a slow taper to get off this poison ASAP. Keeping in mind, that I will be doing this in the middle of receiving Chemo. UGH.

 

How long are you expecting to be receiving chemo?

 

Since it only takes 2 - 4 weeks to develop a benzo dependency, you may already be dependent. If so, you may want to stay on this drug throughout chemo so you don't compromise your cancer treatments by taxing your nervous system more than you need to. 

 

If you do decide to taper, I would recommend a very cautious micro-taper. Here are some links to get you started:

 

Micro-taper instead of 10% or 5% decreases

 

 

The Brassmonkey Slide Method of Micro-tapering

 

Please note if you wish to do a liquid taper, lorazepam isn't very soluble in water, however it is soluble in alcohol and propylene glycol. To use alcohol, a common method on the benzo forums is the Vodka method. You use 2 mL of Vodka for each 1 mg of benzo and then add water.  It's recommended to use at least 80 proof alcohol. 

 

A better solution is to use prescription Ativan liquid. This is a concentrated liquid that you can add water to make a solution. With the health issues you're currently dealing with, this likely is the best way to taper. If you decide to taper now, please talk with our doctor about this.

 

Or you may wish to use a scale. 

 

Using a digital scale to measure doses

 

Please post if you have any questions about any of these methods. 

 

Questions - What time(s) of day do you take Ativan? Are you using it at night for sleep? If so, will you be able to sleep without it? 

 

[Matthew914]

Hi Shep. Thank you for the reply. I really trust this site more than anything as it helped me get off Paxil. Now I am on to this battle. It’s kind of like a double edged sword. I guess I am now two months in completely even though I was off for about 10-12 days and had to give in due to the withdrawal symptoms I was and still kind of have. I usually take 1 mg around noon each day. However it seems like I struggle about an hour or so before. So I may be moving that up since my chemo time is 930am. I am scheduled for 6 months of chemo or 12 rounds. I have completed 2 rounds so I have 10 to go. I don’t know if I want to extend my use that long since it would be 8 months of this poison. I assume a taper now would not be the right thing for me to do now? From what I have read this drug is really bad. I just want to get off ASAP so it doesn’t cause me any more harm. It’s for the taper method I thought alcohol and these drugs didn’t mix well together? 

[Boris]

Sorry to hear your update Matthew, I hope you're doing well.

 

I've no advice really as I've never tapered a benzo but I wouldn't give yourself a hard time over starting it with news like that.

 

Well done on getting off Paxil, I managed it and it was a trip to hell and back.

 

 

[Shep]

22 hours ago, Matthew914 said:

I guess I am now two months in completely even though I was off for about 10-12 days and had to give in due to the withdrawal symptoms I was and still kind of have.

 

Thanks for the additional information, Matthew.

 

I'm going to link some information on kindling because this is a very important concept for people who are coming on and off these drugs. Since you already came off for 10 - 12 days, which is long enough for Ativan to be completely out of your system, you are susceptible to kindling. 

 

Kindling

 

22 hours ago, Matthew914 said:

I usually take 1 mg around noon each day. However it seems like I struggle about an hour or so before. So I may be moving that up since my chemo time is 930am.

 

Please list the drug(s) and dose and time(s) you take all of your drugs each day, including any drugs for cancer. It's possible you're going into interdose withdrawal (withdrawal in between doses), but it could also be adverse reactions to other drugs. 

 

Ativan has a half-life of 10 - 20 hours, so many people find they need to dose 3 or 4 times a day. But it really depends on how it affects you. 

 

22 hours ago, Matthew914 said:

I am scheduled for 6 months of chemo or 12 rounds. I have completed 2 rounds so I have 10 to go. I don’t know if I want to extend my use that long since it would be 8 months of this poison. I assume a taper now would not be the right thing for me to do now? From what I have read this drug is really bad. I just want to get off ASAP so it doesn’t cause me any more harm.

 

Many people come into the forum in crisis states from tapering too fast or too soon after coming off another drug. But you already had healed a lot from your prior drug, as you noted here: 

 

On 12/13/2019 at 4:54 PM, Matthew914 said:

I was really doing well as I am approaching 4 yrs off Paxil.

 

This right here speaks to stability from your Paxil taper. So having a solid foundation of healing from Paxil means you'll likely have an easier time of it with Ativan. 

 

Since you already tried to stop taking it and had too many symptoms, you likely already are dependent on it. As you continue on with the chemo, if you decide that tapering the drug is causing too many problems and you have to increase the dose, you make yourself even more susceptible to kindling. 

 

Question - is Ativan helping you cope with chemo? If so, you may want to stay on it. I know 8 months is a long time, but staying on it steady for 8 months is better than going off and back on it again if you run into problems and end up kindled. And then after 8 months or a bit longer (give yourself time to recover from the chemo), then you can set up a slow and careful micro-taper. 

 

22 hours ago, Matthew914 said:

It’s for the taper method I thought alcohol and these drugs didn’t mix well together? 

 

Yes, you are correct. We recommend people avoid alcohol while on benzos. However, the amount needed for a taper (2 mL of Vodka for each 1 mg of benzo) is so small, it's insignificant. In fact, some prescription liquid formulas contain a small amount of alcohol. The only time we wouldn't recommend using this small amount of alcohol is for someone dealing with the craving form of addiction and needing to keep alcohol out of their home.  

 

Please go ahead and add your Ativan information to your signature (please also include the days you were off and on it). That way we can easily track your benzo use. Please also list any other drugs you are taking, as well as supplements and we can check for any interactions. 

 

A direct link to your signature is here:

 

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[RusTW]

Out of all of this ativan scared the **** out of me.

I took 1/2.  2×a day while on it and tapering.

It does go away.

Russ