Fresh's Fractured Fairytale: How Much Can a Koala Bear?

[Songbird]

You might find this spreadsheet useful for helping to sort out doses and weights:
 
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7601-excel-spreadsheet-to-calculate-dose-weights-using-a-scale/

[Fresh]

Thankyou Songbird.   I'm gonna need all the help I can get.

[Prestorb]

Just want to say hello Fresh, sounds like your taper is going well so far, so glad to hear! Cheers

[Freedom15]

Hi Fresh

 

I kinda been sucked up by my own madness but today I sat down and decided to just look at some of the other posts and there you was. Thanks for all your support so far and for being there for many others. Seeing you happy in your photo gave me a great hope that recovery is possible and that is really what we are all here for. It's amazing how sometimes people's lives cross paths at points and also for the reasons why. Stay strong and hope your new taper Go's well for you.

[Cdav]

Hi Fresh, I just watched your videos. They caused so many deep feelings in me. I'm SO sorry you had to go through that hell for such a long time. Akathisia is hell on earth. No one who hasn't experienced it will ever have a little understanding of the torture it is. Thankfully my akathisia started to subside last week and just getting some little waves of it in the morning. You're a hero for enduring it and being so helpful to people on this site. I appreciate your advice on my thread and I'm glad you're feeling much better now. 

 

Hugs

[LoveandLight]

All the best with your taper xx

[chicken]

Chicken , thankyou for sharing.   Driving for many hours at a time is another classic symptom of akathisia.    So is the feeling of dread , a constant sense of urgency ,

and a general inability to be still.    I never had words either until 2013 , so I used to describe it as "antsy", from the latin term "ants in the pants" (lol).

 

Did you get stable on the combination of tranxene , pamelor and zyprexa?     I look forward to  reading your thread.

 

Fresh,

I'm now on just the pamelor and stable at the moment. Praying I can get through this without anxiety/akathesia coming back.

[calithebold]

I love your photo Fresh, you look lovely. I'm glad you're moving slowly on.

 

Take special care

[Fresh]

Today was Week 2 of dog training.    I've been sleeping so much the past 4 days that I was worried about getting up early and getting there.   I hoped

it would rain and be cancelled.   But it was fine , and I do feel much better after getting out today.   The poor little dog was confused too - what the heck were we doing out this early in the morning?

 

Today's Song of the Day is for all the folks feeling alone in their world.   It always makes me feel just a little bit better.  Sometimes a whole lot.

 

 

We're All In This Together , Ben Lee (see youtube Official Video)

 

Woke up this morning , I suddenly realized , we're all in this together

I started smiling cause you were smiling and we're all in this together

 

I'm made of atoms , you're made of atoms and we're all in this together

And long division just doesn't matter cause we're all in this together , yeah

 

I saw you walking in the city and we're all in this together

The city's changing cause we are changing and we're all in this together

 

Every 12 seconds someone remembers that we're all in this together

In the kitchen of your rent control apartment , we're all in this together

 

Come on baby , I don't mean to rush you

I only wanted to reach out and touch you

I've gotta start to open my heart

 

I know you think about jumping ship before it sinks but we are all in this together

Ask a scientist , it's quantum physics and we're all in this together

 

And on the subway , we feel like strangers but we're all in this together

Yeah I love you and you love her and she loves him and we are all in this together

 

You know baby , there's never been protection

In all the history of human connection

Come on darling , it's alright to show me , you don't ever need to be lonely

Once you start , to open your heart

 

I saw you crying , I started crying cause we're all in this together

And then religion , it's a big decision but we're all in this together

 

And we are all in this together

We're all in this together

 

And we are all in this together , we're all in this together

[calithebold]

Hi Fresh, I never really got into Ben Lee, but i like these lyrics, might have to check it out. I'm glad it makes you feel better, especially when you don't feel great

[AliG]

Hi Fresh, You seem to be doing so well at the moment. I'm so happy for you.  You have been such a help to me. I so appreciate that .

[Hopefull]

Hi Fresh,

Thank you for always being carring to everyone. I am happy that you are doing well. Good luck with tappering.

[Fresh]

Thankyou guys.   It's coming up one year since I went to hospital for the first time ever , and I've found some interesting things going through the papers they gave me.

 

I was admitted on 9 may.   I spent the first 5 days in a small five-person unit before being moved to the non-acute psychiatric unit.   I think they find that some

people ( like those who've had a bad reaction to illicit substances)  are able to be discharged from there without going to the proper psych. unit.

 

I went "upstairs" on 16 May.

For the first few days I was given Lorazepam 1mg twice a day.    On day 3 , the 19th , I was started on Olanzapine (Zyprexa) , an antipsychotic.

The dose was 5mg , given 3 times a day.  The last dose taken was the 23rd ,  it was ceased after I became violent. (For some reason I thought they had given me Effexor , and that was what caused the violent behaviour.)

 

The violence was a new thing , I've never had this before or since.   I remember picking up the chair in my room and smashing it over and over into

the ground as hard as I could.   A nurse came in and told me to stop , that I would be billed for any damage I caused.   I did it a few more times until my wrist hurt too much and I had to stop. The odd thing was I didn't feel angry when I did this , just a curious pleasure. 

In the dining area , I lunged at the trolley lady , grabbing her meals trolley and shoving it into the wall as hard as I could.   She was frightened , and I

explained that I didn't want to hurt her , I just wanted her trolley.

  

I was also rather objectionable at this time , it seems (lol).

 

The following is what I wrote on a complaint form:

    "I was in line to pour milk into my coffee, next to patient BL.  As I picked up the 2 litre container a large hairy fellow reached across the table and

    grabbed it , squashing my hand and refusing to let go.  He continued to refuse to put it down , as did I.  He then poured the whole container of

    milk over my head so that I was covered in milk.

    I find this behaviour unacceptable and feel there should be repercussions for people behaving in this way."

 

And on another form:

    " Patient G. became violent and shoved me across the area in front of the tv without any provocation.  Bruising and bleeding to both knees were       

     received.

    This is the second incident of violence from this man in 2 days."

 

Meanwhile , I had started Mirtazapine  on the 21st.   Initially 15mg for 3 days , then 22.5mg for 3 days , then 30mg from the 27th onwards.

 

They first gave me Seroquel , 100mg twice daily , on the 23rd.   I went home on the 26th , as soon as I was left my house keys and some

money by my mum.

When I was officially discharged on the 29th I was d/c on Seroquel 100mg am , 100mg lunch and 300mg pm.

 

Although being in a psychiatric unit was like my worst nightmare , I guess it wasn't as bad as the nightmare I'd been living at home.    I

connected with some of the other patients , and I didn't have the constant panic in hospital.   I suspect the lorazepam helped to quell that.

The change of environment gave me other things to think about beside my condition.

 

I stopped all the hospital meds. when I got home , the mirtazapine after the first week and the lorazepam and Seroquel soon after. 

By July 2014 was feeling extremely depressed again.   That's when I stated pristiq 50mg.  

I had no reserves left to fight with.

 

Now eight months later , following my first decrease in pristiq , I seem to have passed first the hypo-manic phase , then the fatigue phase and

am now back to having a little more energy this week , which is a relief.  I'm curious to see if my future cuts follow this same pattern.

 

This has been the fight of my life.   But you know what they say:   "It's not the size of the dog in the fight but the size of the fight in the dog."

 

Continued healing to all , 

 

Fresh

Soldier of Bliss

Army of Harmony

[ang]

Hi Fresh, were you discharged on just the seroquol?  Or seroquol and Mirtazipine, lorazepam?     Lorazepam is a valium, and I can not tolerate those   (damn a bit of a nice benzo would be great, I have to suffer. still like you said not the size of the dog for the fight, the size of the fight in the dog).

 

So glad you are feeling better,  pray for me!

[Fresh]

Discharged on the trifecta ang.  

I hope you're sleeping snug tonight. 

[Broken]

MMM MMM MMMMMM BBQ!

 

Dare I ask if you had shrimp?

[Fresh]

'Fraid not Broken , there were no shrimps on the barbie , just a couple doing the cooking.   Snags , chicken thighs and roo burgers.

 

Barbeques make me reassess my semi-vegetarian food choices.   I stopped eating cows after my first trip to India in 2004.   Lamb had to go too.    But I eat

chicken and fish , so I figured I'm okay with anything that has less than 3 legs.

 

Kangaroos present a dilemma.  Do they have two legs or four?

Anyhows , I think I definitely draw the line at Koala.

[Fresh]

It was funny how the  barbie came about.  

I was sitting at home when my mate Boomer-rang.  Said he was having a few people round for a barbie. 

I said:  Sounds great , will Waller-by there?   He said; Yeah , and Vege-mite come too.

So I rang my friend and said: Do you want to Go-anna?   She said: I'll go if Ding-goes.

I said: Wattle we do about Nulla?  She said:  Nulla-boors me to tears , let's leave him out.

 

 

 

(This post is totally ripped off from "Australiana" by Austen Tayshus) 

[calithebold]

lol, you do realise that there a going to be some very confused people after reading this post, love it

[Fresh]

LOL , thanks Cali   .   Me too.

[Broken]

I'm confused.

[Broken]

Do I like ladies or boys...or lady boys?

 

I'm confused.

[Broken]

Or boy ladies? There's a term you don't hear very often, it's not very catchy but I'm sure they carry something you can catch.

[Broken]

I'm confused.

[Fresh]

OOh ,  I bet they do.   I hear antibiotics may help with that!

 

Austen Tayshus is an Australian comedian , who did a "bit" called "Australiana"   (don't you be going astray , Liana).  

You can see it on youtube , lots of play on words from local language.

The whole thing is on www.songlyrics.com with translation of terms

 

[Broken]

I'll check it oot pal!

[Songbird]

So I get to the party and my mate Warra hands me a drink and I say "Thanks, Warrah, tah!"

[Fresh]

Hahaha ,   you got it!    "My mate wanted a smoke , so we packed Bill - a- bong . . . "

[Songbird]

Haha, I remember when that came out!  When was it, 1983?

[Fresh]

Great memory Songbird , you're right.  A month at no.1 on the charts.   Still makes me smile.

[chia1214]

Hi Fresh! Thanks for visiting my thread. I replied to you there, but I'll repeat myself here to you in case you haven't been back there.

 

"I took a look at your intro thread and the videos. Brave of you to do that. So glad you are out of that place and nice to see your photo at the BBQ."

 

I did update my sig finally. So to answer your question about my dose, as you can see, I am now at 0.90mg Clonazapam and 188mg Lamictal.

 

I can never see the location, Sydney, Australia, without the immediate association of Nemo, and hearing Ellen's voice. The things that get stuck in your head!

[Fresh]

Thanks  chia   .

 

I've had a new , odd sensation a few times in the past couple of weeks.   It comes early in the morning in the stomach area.

 

I think it's my appetite returning !!!    I haven't had normal hunger for years and years , and now this.

 

Yayyy

[Meimeiquest]

Great you are coming along so well. Oh, I have scathingly brilliant ideas sometimes in my post-Cymbalta life. But here's the rub....some of them really are brilliant. I don't want a lobotomy just to turn my brain down. But when you're aware that they are amped up a bit, it's really more an asset than liability. Also, I have found there is always, always a reason. It just takes a bit to figure it out sometimes.

[peggy]

great notes you kept in hospital Fresh!

 

It's terrifying that you had such violent and objectionable behaviour in response to the drugs they gave you in hospital - one one hand they ceased the zyprexa - (presuming that they recognised that it made you violent), but they continued to introduce more drugs.....

[calithebold]

My current doc used to change my drugs nearly every three weeks, it was crazy. No wonder I'm in the mess I am now. Glad you're doing better now than you were then!

[Hopefull]

That is g great that your appetite has returned!