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Moon -- I'm Still Alive!

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Moon   
Moon

Hello... Anybody still out there? I haven't posted in awhile...(okay, maybe years)! I just wanted to update anyone who remembers me from PP as gbass that I am still doing well! I recently ran into a couple guys who were taking paxil and I had completely forgotten how miserable life used to be!! I haven't been on this site in a long time because of that fact, but after speaking to these two men for awhile, I thought an encouraging word about life after Paxil might be encouraging!! It's been about 5 years since my cold turkey, and life couldn't be better! I guess the best thing to say is that there is hope for everyone and the best testimony I can give is that for two years, I remembered every day that I was no longer taking this drug and now I barely remember what it was like! I will try to visit this site more often in the future and offer any encouragement I can as well as just plain chat with old friends (not as in agewise old, just longtime friends! :D). Hang in there everybody and as a very dear friend once told me, "If you find yourself in hell, keep walking"!

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Prestorb   
Prestorb

Thank you for your post, it is very much appreciated!!

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alex   
alex

Thank you for your post, it is very much appreciated!!

 

DITTO!!

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WinningThrough   
WinningThrough

This looks like one for the success stories section! I'm so glad you are better, Moon.

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Altostrata   
Altostrata

Hi, Moon! Good to hear from you and really good you're doing so well.

 

May I move this topic to Success Stories?

 

How much were you taking, how long, when did you go off?

 

In retrospect, what was the recovery process like? Did it go in phases? What withdrawal symptoms did you have at the beginning, which went away first, did anything help move healing along?

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Moon   
Moon

Move this wherever you see fit!!!

 

It's almost like a bad car accident that you don't remember all of the details real clearly, possibly because you don't want to remember them because it was too painful. I was on 40 mg daily for 6 years and quit cold turkey.

 

The beginning I was very emotional and even suicidal. Brain zaps, sleepless nights, crying, not understanding what was going on, pretty much all the typical symptoms. The best therapy became talking to other people who were going through the same thing and realizing I was not alone! Once I realized what and why, it was only a matter of overcoming! I would listen to heavy metal at very loud volumes while doing other tasks, even posting nonsense on the other, no longer available website for people suffering the same thing!

 

I think overstimulating my brain to perform more tasks than it wanted to was key for me. You have to understand when I listen to music, I couldn't tell you the words to a song after listening to it a hundred times, but after a couple of times, I knew the key signature, time signature, and can memorize and play all the parts so it wasn't just listening, I was learning! (That was a serious run on sentence!)

 

That's what I mean by overstimulating and why music worked for me. I couldn't just listen though, I had to be performing at least one other complex task or several other simpler tasks.

 

I also believe laughter is great medicine! watch funny videos, read a list of banjo or engineer jokes, (Sorry any banjo playing engineers out there! Double whammy)!

 

Learning there are people all over the world out there suffering because of the same thing, lets you know you are not alone, but we are each unique individuals. Medications have similar effects on many but specific effects on each and every one of us, so learn all you can from others, but never say that "this worked for this person and we like the same things so it must work for me".

 

I would never reccomend quitting c.t. like I did to anyone!!! It may have worked for me and I had a fairly short recovery period of 18 months, of which only 6 were really bad. I believe it is similar to addiction. After you get to a certain point in the recovery process, it becomes a mind over matter thing. Let me reinterate, AFTER A CERTAIN POINT!!

 

At some point down the road, for me it became, "I am not going to let Paxil control the rest of my life"! This could be at 6 months, or a few years. For each individual and their body chemistry, and personal habits and lifestyle, and strength and willpower, it is different! Never gauge your progress or success to someone elses. They may be recovering at a quicker pace which is psychologically depressing if you are close to or look up to that person. Celebrate "Your" triumphs and sucess at "Your" pace.

 

I am certain by now this doesn't need to be reinterated, but I will again anyway. Each and every one of us are unique. All medications come with a list of possible side effects, not because everyone who took this medication had all of the side effects. Only one person in a thousand had "Anal seepage". (Sorry if that gave you a visual)!

 

I hope that is what you wanted in a fairly short form as i am a three fingered typist so this took awhile and is more than I usually type. I also hope that each and everyone here takes from this post that there is life after anti depressants, and it is wonderful for me and hopefully will be for you as well! I don't really have any advice for anyone other than try many different things, as what is good for the goose isn't really always what is good for the gander. What if the goose is cooked for Christmas dinner? Not pleasant for the gander!

 

Just as in any tough work project or correcting a bad habit, celebrate the baby steps that you overcome or take! We didn't get in the shape we are in overnight so we won't get out of it overnight either! Progress is measured not a destination. It is an ongoing action.

 

Enough rambling for now I guess. I love you all and pray for you that you will be succesful in your desire to achieve your goals! (One step at a time)!

Edited by Altostrata
added paragraph breaks

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Altostrata   
Altostrata

Thanks, Moon. Please stop by and let us know how you're doing.

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WiggleIt   
WiggleIt

Moon, what a GREAT story!!  Thank you for posting, and I hope to see you back again soon, cheering us all on!
 




(For the sake of my own sanity, I think I need to dig through threads again and find some female recovery stories of 100% success.  I am accidentally coming across all sorts of 100% recovery stories from men, which end up upholding the urban legend that men heal form this better—maybe because of less hormone fluctuation?—but that just CAN'T be true!!!  There have gotta be some girls out there for me who've had as much success as Moon, Pax80, and Lossleader!!!)

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btdt   
btdt

If we can do a poll her perhaps we should of men and woman who feel completely or near complete in their healing. 

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Cyrosp   
Cyrosp

I'm new here today and your post is just what I needed! I'm reading a book by David Fox and he says "if you are feeling stuck in a negative state and you feel yourself spiraling further and further into a mental funk, get out of the house. Get out of the house IMMEDIATELY and go somewhere. If it's for exercise, even better. But go out and take some deep breaths and move your body. " it's my current mantra!

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Moon   
Moon

Just doing my (whats every 3,4, or 5 years?) check in. My life has slowed a little, so I'll try to check in a little more regular. I can't remember how many years it's been off paxil, but at least 5! Life is good. At a recent doctor's visit, She said she could give me an A.D. to take off label for another issue. I couldn't stop laughing! I politely said "No Thanks", and left. My life is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but it is sooooooooooooooooooooooo much better! I just wanted to drop a note of encouragement to those of you who are struggling. Ask questions. There are good people here and some good advice. Don't give up! If anybody knows where I can get in touch with my buddy from Poland, I'd like to reconnect. Carpe Diem!

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Fresh   
Fresh

Hiya Moon ,   thanks for the update.   This will be joined to your thread in "Success Stories".

 

Is your buddy from Poland  member of this site?

 

bw ,  Fresh

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Moon   
Moon

I Thought he was one of the original members. I can't figure out how to P.M. Give me a minute... *begins humming Stairway To Heaven for hold music*

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Moon   
Moon

*Stops humming as I finally figured out how to P.M.*

 

Sorry, It's been a long week. I have to crack myself up!

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SkyBlue   
SkyBlue

Moon, what a wonderful story and thank you for sharing it.  :)

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Moon   
Moon

Good to see you again, Moon.

You to Alto!! I spoke with a very good friend of ours from the left coast for almost 2 hours the other night!! It was a great visit. Hope you are well.

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Tootsieroll   
Tootsieroll

Aww this is such an uplifting story. I think i remember your posts Moon. I love the fact that you can find the humor in life once again. I found myself in a pickle with some additional benzo use, but i can't wait to be where you are now! Onward and upward!

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Moon   
Moon

Aww this is such an uplifting story. I think i remember your posts Moon. I love the fact that you can find the humor in life once again. I found myself in a pickle with some additional benzo use, but i can't wait to be where you are now! Onward and upward!

 

Sounds like you are well on your way already! I had to learn to laugh at myself again. That was key.

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SkyBlue   
SkyBlue

My life has slowed a little, so I'll try to check in a little more regular. I can't remember how many years it's been off paxil, but at least 5! Life is good. At a recent doctor's visit, She said she could give me an A.D. to take off label for another issue. I couldn't stop laughing! I politely said "No Thanks", and left. 

 

Oh, man. That's funny! :) Hopefully more and more people will laugh at our doctors when they suggest taking an AD. 

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BlueLeader   
BlueLeader

Moon, Thank you for sharing your thoughts and story of recovery with us. It is so necessary to read success stories of people who have come through this.

Please continue to stop by and let us know how you are doing!

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Hopeinahpwr   
Hopeinahpwr

Moon,

Thank you for your thoughts and I will use that saying, it's great!...If you find yourself in hell, keep walking!!!! Congratulations on your freedom!

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Prozac20   
Prozac20

Im so happy for you . How long were you in Paxil and do you remember how long it took your symptoms to subside ?

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Mort81   
Mort81

HAAHAHA so funny that doctor offered you another antidepressant omg! IF I were you I would have died laughing aswell.  Thanks for checking back 

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NaturalBorn   
NaturalBorn

Move this wherever you see fit!!!

 

It's almost like a bad car accident that you don't remember all of the details real clearly, possibly because you don't want to remember them because it was too painful. I was on 40 mg daily for 6 years and quit cold turkey.

 

The beginning I was very emotional and even suicidal. Brain zaps, sleepless nights, crying, not understanding what was going on, pretty much all the typical symptoms. The best therapy became talking to other people who were going through the same thing and realizing I was not alone! Once I realized what and why, it was only a matter of overcoming! I would listen to heavy metal at very loud volumes while doing other tasks, even posting nonsense on the other, no longer available website for people suffering the same thing!

 

I think overstimulating my brain to perform more tasks than it wanted to was key for me. You have to understand when I listen to music, I couldn't tell you the words to a song after listening to it a hundred times, but after a couple of times, I knew the key signature, time signature, and can memorize and play all the parts so it wasn't just listening, I was learning! (That was a serious run on sentence!)

 

That's what I mean by overstimulating and why music worked for me. I couldn't just listen though, I had to be performing at least one other complex task or several other simpler tasks.

 

I also believe laughter is great medicine! watch funny videos, read a list of banjo or engineer jokes, (Sorry any banjo playing engineers out there! Double whammy)!

 

Learning there are people all over the world out there suffering because of the same thing, lets you know you are not alone, but we are each unique individuals. Medications have similar effects on many but specific effects on each and every one of us, so learn all you can from others, but never say that "this worked for this person and we like the same things so it must work for me".

 

I would never reccomend quitting c.t. like I did to anyone!!! It may have worked for me and I had a fairly short recovery period of 18 months, of which only 6 were really bad. I believe it is similar to addiction. After you get to a certain point in the recovery process, it becomes a mind over matter thing. Let me reinterate, AFTER A CERTAIN POINT!!

 

At some point down the road, for me it became, "I am not going to let Paxil control the rest of my life"! This could be at 6 months, or a few years. For each individual and their body chemistry, and personal habits and lifestyle, and strength and willpower, it is different! Never gauge your progress or success to someone elses. They may be recovering at a quicker pace which is psychologically depressing if you are close to or look up to that person. Celebrate "Your" triumphs and sucess at "Your" pace.

 

I am certain by now this doesn't need to be reinterated, but I will again anyway. Each and every one of us are unique. All medications come with a list of possible side effects, not because everyone who took this medication had all of the side effects. Only one person in a thousand had "Anal seepage". (Sorry if that gave you a visual)!

 

I hope that is what you wanted in a fairly short form as i am a three fingered typist so this took awhile and is more than I usually type. I also hope that each and everyone here takes from this post that there is life after anti depressants, and it is wonderful for me and hopefully will be for you as well! I don't really have any advice for anyone other than try many different things, as what is good for the goose isn't really always what is good for the gander. What if the goose is cooked for Christmas dinner? Not pleasant for the gander!

 

Just as in any tough work project or correcting a bad habit, celebrate the baby steps that you overcome or take! We didn't get in the shape we are in overnight so we won't get out of it overnight either! Progress is measured not a destination. It is an ongoing action.

 

Enough rambling for now I guess. I love you all and pray for you that you will be succesful in your desire to achieve your goals! (One step at a time)!

beautifull story, just a question, you mentioned that your life is not nearly perfect... i hope it's not due to withdrawal or any health issue related to that right? would you say that you feel 100%?  like not a single residual symptom from that cold turkey experience? i tried going cold turkey but couldn't deal with that so after 4 months i went back to the poison called effexor. now i'm taking trazadone and seroquel. but what i want to really ask you is, do you feel totally healthy and over the withdrawal? like i what i really want to know is, can you AT SOME POINT feel tottaly healed? with any kind of wd symptoms, or any wave as well? please i need to know if i'm ever going to be like i was before this drugs.... every single success story that i read, people are saying like "it's been 7 years or something, and i'm really better but still worst then before i tried drugs" and that really desencourages me (ignore my english please)... am i going to someday be able to feel like i never did any antidepressant? i hope you understood my question, it's really hard to express yourself in other language and going to withdrawal at the same time

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Cean   
Cean

I'm new here today and your post is just what I needed! I'm reading a book by David Fox and he says "if you are feeling stuck in a negative state and you feel yourself spiraling further and further into a mental funk, get out of the house. Get out of the house IMMEDIATELY and go somewhere. If it's for exercise, even better. But go out and take some deep breaths and move your body. " it's my current mantra!

Thanks Cyrosp! I've had moments of spiraling into the abyss. This will become my mantra as well!

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Lawyerliz   
Lawyerliz

Hi moon, I new, but glad you are better.

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bhasski   
bhasski

Hi .. I am new here ... Happy for you. I have CTed Paxil 12 months back on doctor's advice, living through hell then . Reinstated on Sertraline for a month, with Aripropazole and Seroquel.. got restless legs with all problems standing. This time I CTed it and now 8 months off . I am sorry that I m posting it here but very tired in head.

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SkyBlue   
SkyBlue

bhasski, can you write an Introduction thread so people know more about your experiences? Cold-turkeying Paxil is horrible, beyond horrible. If you share your experiences people will likely be able to help you a bit, or at least share their similar experiences to let you know you're not alone.

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