Marsha: can I taper off geodon before gabapentin?

[Shep]

That's a great update, Marsha. I'm glad your Prevacid taper is going so well and your sleep is good.

 

I also had a nap yesterday, which is extremely rare for me and it involved dreaming, which is also new. 

 

And yes, life is good and will get better and better. So good to hear. 

[Marsha]

My brother used to work for King County in Washington state and was in charge of tapering inmates of drugs both illegal and prescribed. I spoke with him today and he described how they carefully and slowly tapered people and if withdrawal symptoms appeared they would not let the person suffer but would sometimes increase the dose to stabilize the person. When I went off geodon in december, I was scared and confused due to many factors that have come to light recently and did what my Medicare doctor said to do. Stop taking it. And peter breggin scared the living daylights out of me about tardive dyskenisia so I told my husband to hide it. When I realized I was going into withdrawal I begged him to let me have a tiny dose to stabilize because I realized my mistake. But he refused to give me even a tiny amount and I begged over and over and all he said was "you told me not to give it to you, you are just jonesin for it like people he had helped who cold turkeyed heroin. Even though I had taught him how to taper from what I had learned here on SA after he started out tapering wrong. So for those of you who read this, please listen and follow the guidance the moderators and Alto give. Be ever so careful withdrawing from your drugs.

[scallywag]

How interesting that your brother and his employer (responsible for inmates' medications) understand the importance of slow tapering! I guess corrections officials have to live with the results of their decisions so they are more informed, attentive, and careful than most doctors and psychiatrists.

[Marsha]

I can't remember anything. My feet are swelling. My hands and feet are tingling. I can't see clearly due to blurred vision. My abdomen is swollen. I can't swallow. My hair was still mostly brown last December, now it's almost all grey. I can't navigate the site. I am full of fear. My hair is falling out. Fear fear fear. Alone

[Marsha]

I can't remember anything. My feet are swelling. My hands and feet are tingling. I can't see clearly due to blurred vision. My abdomen is swollen. I can't swallow. My hair was still mostly brown last December, now it's almost all grey. I can't navigate the site. I am full of fear. My hair is falling out. Fear fear fear. Alone

 

 

 

Everything I read here, everyone's post positive or negative, fills me with dread, fear fear fear.

[Marsha]

 

I can't remember anything. My feet are swelling. My hands and feet are tingling. I can't see clearly due to blurred vision. My abdomen is swollen. I can't swallow. My hair was still mostly brown last December, now it's almost all grey. I can't navigate the site. I am full of fear. My hair is falling out. Fear fear fear. Alone

Everything I read here, everyone's post positive or negative, fills me with dread, fear fear fear.

 

 

 

 

 

Am I dying? MammaP someone please help.

[AliG]

Marsha. Has anything changed for you in the last week?   You were doing very well.  Have you taken any " over the counter " drugs, antibiotics ? What other symptoms are you having ?

[Marsha]

Marsha. Has anything changed for you in the last week?   You were doing very well.  Have you taken any " over the counter " drugs, antibiotics ? What other symptoms are you having ?

 

Hi AliG. No over the counter drugs. No other drugs. I was at my sons for a week to escape the stress here at home between my husband and m myself. His pacemaker/defibrillator almost was activated twice due to the stress here at home. My diet has been very good. No wheat, gluten, sugar, daairy for quite some time. I don't know what I could have done. Other symptoms: crying, deep depression, cortisol awakenings, panic, exhaustion, tremors in my hands, difficulty reading and calculating, indecision, so many more symptoms. Let's see tight chest. Hoarse. I started some beginning yoga 3 weeks ago. I just do what I can. I am so angry at my husband and other son for not letting me see Alto's Dr last December. And my husband for refusing to let me have my geodon so I could take a small dose and stabilize and for complaining about the cost vitamins and supplements i was taking when I began tapering. I needed them. I still need them. Now I can't take any. I am so sick. I don't know what to do. I don't want to die. I am so afraid. I am 63 and look 80. I am so afraid. Alone in this and afraid. Lots of tears now. I think I am dying.

[AliG]

Marsha. Often stress can intensify symptoms. There were many times during my withdrawal where family issues pushed me into a wave. You can't underestimate the mind/body/spirit connection. When we are stressed or angry it can amplify everything.

 

You said you had started yoga. That is one of the best things you can do for yourself. I would keep that up. It is a great "anxiety" buster and a " calm" inducer. 

 

According to your signature, you have just done a cut ?  23rd September? That could account for increased symptoms.

 

You have also increased your Levothyroxine.

That can cause symptoms. It's not clear from your signature when you increased. Perhaps you could add the dates.

 

You are not alone , Marsha. Just having a temporary " blip". Cry it out if you need to.

You will be fine.

Hugs,

Ali

[Marsha]

Marsha. Often stress can intensify symptoms. There were many times during my withdrawal where family issues pushed me into a wave. You can't underestimate the mind/body/spirit connection. When we are stressed or angry it can amplify everything.

 

You said you had started yoga. That is one of the best things you can do for yourself. I would keep that up. It is a great "anxiety" buster and a " calm" inducer. 

 

According to your signature, you have just done a cut ?  23rd September? That could account for increased symptoms.

 

You have also increased your Levothyroxine.

That can cause symptoms. It's not clear from your signature when you increased. Perhaps you could add the dates.

 

You are not alone , Marsha. Just having a temporary " blip". Cry it out if you need to.

You will be fine.

Hugs,

Ali

Hi AliG and thank you. I updated my signature to reflect the Levothyroxine date dose change. Also i am off prevacid for about a month now. I will put that in there too. Taking raw sauerkraut as a proboitic. My digestive system has improved almost back to normal now. Thanks for coming to the rescue. And yes the yoga has been very soothing. Thank you again so very much

[AliG]

Marsha. I'm so glad that you are feeling a touch better and more positive in your outlook. How are you feeling now ? Symptoms ?

[Marsha]

Marsha. I'm so glad that you are feeling a touch better and more positive in your outlook. How are you feeling now ? Symptoms ?

 

Hi AliG. Thank you so very much for coming to the rescue again. I have been trying to think of who to reach out to. I am so sorry but I just seem to be getting more sick despite my efforts to deal with my condition. Right now I am in a state of fear such as I have never seen before. I have no one but this forum who I can express myself. I am so afraid. Please can you calm me down.

[AliG]

Marsha. Take a deep breath. I understand. I've been there. What symptoms are you dealing with? I often had overwhelming feelings that I felt I couldn't deal with at the time but the intense symptoms of feeling overwhelmed actually only lasted a short time. For me , It was just getting over those " humps" .

 

Breathe , Breathe.

 

Distraction is a great tool , as well .  Read over the site. Success stories, meditation etc. I found learning to be one of the tools that helped me. I know it's trite but " Knowledge is power " !

 

Do you do guided meditations ?

[Marsha]

Marsha. Take a deep breath. I understand. I've been there. What symptoms are you dealing with? I often had overwhelming feelings that I felt I couldn't deal with at the time but the intense symptoms of feeling overwhelmed actually only lasted a short time. For me , It was just getting over those " humps" .

 

Breathe , Breathe.

 

Distraction is a great tool , as well .  Read over the site. Success stories, meditation etc. I found learning to be one of the tools that helped me. I know it's trite but " Knowledge is power "

 

 

I am in the throes of something. I cannot move.

[AliG]

Sometimes you just have to get through the moment. It can be tough at times. I often went walking when it became too much . If I was more mellow - a bubble bath was good. Music often " changed the channel" for me . Distraction can be a " lifesaver ".

 

What are your symptoms now ?

[Marsha]

Sometimes you just have to get through the moment. It can be tough at times. I often went walking when it became too much . If I was more mellow - a bubble bath was good. Music often " changed the channel" for me . Distraction can be a " lifesaver ".

 

What are your symptoms now ?

 

I managed to get up and take a shower. My symptoms. I am shaking all over not akathisia. Headache. No physical strength whatsoever. Sick to my stomach. Loose stools. One thing I did different last night. I ate beef. My son always buys organic.,but I think he bought this beef at Safeway, not organic. But really all the physical symptoms seem to be amplified. I can't really think of all the symptoms, I forgot my notebook at home which is my paper journal.

[AliG]

 I'm sorry for what you are going through.

 

I have been where you are and it's not easy. I hope your symptoms stabilize in the next few days.

 

Ali

[Marsha]

I'm sorry for what you are going through.

 

I have been where you are and it's not easy. I hope your symptoms stabilize in the next few days.

 

Ali

 

Hi Ali. Thank you so very much for the encouraging words. Can't really think right now.

[JanCarol]

Hey Marsha - I'm sorry things are difficult for you right now.  Ali has been here for you and I am grateful.  

 

It's difficult to be suffering when nobody understands.

 

I agree with Ali, the smallest changes can make a difference.  Can you do the yoga at home, if it is too hard for you to go out?  Just the bits you remember from the class?

 

I also agree with Ali:  Breathe.  This will pass.  I'm sorry it's so hard right now.  Please be patient and kind to yourself.

 

I hope you see the sun today.

[Marsha]

Hey Marsha - I'm sorry things are difficult for you right now.  Ali has been here for you and I am grateful.  

 

It's difficult to be suffering when nobody understands.

 

I agree with Ali, the smallest changes can make a difference.  Can you do the yoga at home, if it is too hard for you to go out?  Just the bits you remember from the class?

 

I also agree with Ali:  Breathe.  This will pass.  I'm sorry it's so hard right now.  Please be patient and kind to yourself.

 

I hope you see the sun today.

 

 

Thank you so very much JanCarol for your expressions of advice and encouragement. I am doing every thing I have learned to try and recover. I was in the pacific northwest for a week and the rain made me very depressed. Back in California again and feeling better. Still learning how to function in every way shape and form, but I am hopeful. I try not to let negative thoughts come in, but this morning I gave way to tears. But it passed. I am going to try to take a class to learn how to use computers. I have so much to learn and relearn. So very thankful that I have learned how to communicate verbally again. Have to be careful not to have too lively conversations in the evening though. There is more, but I will save it for another time. Thank you so very much.

[Marsha]

I don't expect anyone to see this, but I cannot take anymore. I cannot go on any longer. I will not go to any hospital and get locked up, abused, and drugged ever again. I cannot think, remember anything, eat anything, do anything. Can't communicate anymore with anyone. Totally isolated. Please, no more, no more.

[Shep]

What's going on, Marsha? Have you made any recent drug reductions? Is it the stress from the holidays and family? Please remember that the holidays are temporary. Soon it will be January and all of the hype will end.

 

I know I'm no fan of the crowds and noise and expectations of the holidays and will be happy for January to come. 

 

Sending healing vibes your way. Please let us know what's going on. 

 

 

[Marsha]

What's going on, Marsha? Have you made any recent drug reductions? Is it the stress from the holidays and family? Please remember that the holidays are temporary. Soon it will be January and all of the hype will end.

 

I know I'm no fan of the crowds and noise and expectations of the holidays and will be happy for January to come. 

 

Sending healing vibes your way. Please let us know what's going on.

I don't participate in Christmas celebrations. I don't live anywhere near crowds of people. I do not know what is wrong. No untoward changes, at 2 mgs of klonopin now. Can't afford good thyroid doc. I know how to read my labs. My body is attacking my thyroid. 20 years ago I was a healthy vibrant woman. This year i woke up to a an old iatrogenically sick woman nearing the end of her lifespan. I don't have any inner strength. All of my hopes and dreams have been dashed. It would be a best if G-d would just let me fall asleep in d--th. My mouth is full of amalgams, I am nutrient deficient, I don't know. I don't know.

Edited December 20, 2016 by ChessieCat
removed white space

[JanCarol]

Oh Marsha, I understand about the thyroid thing.  It can so mess everything up, and doctors just don't understand.  I'm lucky, I have a doctor who does, and who will "tweak" things to try and get me better (we're still working on it!)

 

And the teeth thing - my best friend is going through this.  (her story in a nutshell:  put on tricyclics as a teenager, they rotted her teeth out, and she ended up with a mouthful of amalgams)  She has the money to do it, but she is so sick that the doctors are worried that the removal of them will make her more sick.

 

I hear you about the holidays, I don't do them either, and it is like a knife inside when someone smiles and says "Merry Christmas!" or even "Happy Holidays" and I'm like right.  I pretend to be a "normal human" and say "You too" back.  I try to make eye contact so that it feels like human contact, even if we are not on the same page.  I went to the shopping mall to withdraw money from an ATM.  The music was SO LOUD that I thought there was a live band in the atrium.  It was SO LOUD that I actually walked to the atrium to see if there was a live band playing.  No.  It was just that the mall cranked up the Christmas music to abusive levels.

 

I'm sorry you are struggling.  Your spirituality seems to give you comfort, do you have a community you can go to, if only to have a cuppa and talk about the weather?  Someone that you can just talk to about being sick (without being specific), and tired of being sick, and take comfort in the Word?  I encourage you to seek comfort, and perhaps in that seeking, you will learn what you need to know to go on.

 

I really need to put this here:  Help for those who are feeling desperate or suicidal.   I know this may feel futile, but perhaps if you can talk to someone, you can put some perspective on what you are suffering, and find a way through this.

 

You are a worthwhile human being, Marsha. I hope you can be gentle and kind to yourself.

[JanCarol]

Oh, my sister struggles with the thyroid thing, too..  Hashimotos (like what I think you are describing) - and her doctors are telling her all the wrong things, and she is on Medicaid and ddoesn't really have a lot of doctor choices.

 

Getting that thyroid optimised is tough!

 

Maybe this will help?  (sorry, it may be old information - people put their names on these lists, and sometimes they stay past their expiry date.  Like I know a doctor on the list who is no longer practicing for the public, she is at a university, practicing on students only.  There is another functional medicine doc on the list who is retired.

 

But who knows?  Perhaps there is something there to give you hope?
http://www.thyroid-info.com/topdrs/index.htm#arm

 

I hope you are feeling better soon.

[Marsha]

Oh, my sister struggles with the thyroid thing, too..  Hashimotos (like what I think you are describing) - and her doctors are telling her all the wrong things, and she is on Medicaid and ddoesn't really have a lot of doctor choices.

 

Getting that thyroid optimised is tough!

 

Maybe this will help?  (sorry, it may be old information - people put their names on these lists, and sometimes they stay past their expiry date.  Like I know a doctor on the list who is no longer practicing for the public, she is at a university, practicing on students only.  There is another functional medicine doc on the list who is retired.

 

But who knows?  Perhaps there is something there to give you hope?http://www.thyroid-info.com/topdrs/index.htm#arm

 

I hope you are feeling better soon.

 

Hi JanCarol. I will get into more detail later on, but wanted to thank you and Shep for responding. I am exhausted tonight but wanted to let you know how much I appreciate what you two have done for me.

Edited December 20, 2016 by ChessieCat
removed white space

[Marsha]

What's going on, Marsha? Have you made any recent drug reductions? Is it the stress from the holidays and family? Please remember that the holidays are temporary. Soon it will be January and all of the hype will end.

 

I know I'm no fan of the crowds and noise and expectations of the holidays and will be happy for January to come. 

 

Sending healing vibes your way. Please let us know what's going on.

 

Hi Shep. I wanted to thank you for coming to my rescue. I will try to explain later on what's going on. It's very complicated and scary. You and JanCarol have been so gentle with me. I surely do appreciate it.

Edited December 20, 2016 by ChessieCat
removed white space

[AliG]

Hi Marsha. Try not to get too down for too long. I have found it all usually passes fairly quickly. The ups and downs can be extraordinary but it's doable and surmountable. Hang in there.

 

Sending encouragement as well as love and light.

Hugs,

Ali

[Marsha]

Hi Marsha. Try not to get too down for too long. I have found it all usually passes fairly quickly. The ups and downs can be extraordinary but it's doable and surmountable. Hang in there.

 

Sending encouragement as well as love and light.

Hugs,

Ali

Oh thank you so very much Ali. I am not feeling to well right now. I think I might have added to my physical sickness right now by information overload. I will try to explain what's going on when I can slow my mind down a bit. I am sure you understand. Thank you all so very very much.

[AliG]

I do understand. Just get to tomorrow and the the next day. Before you know it , you're coming out the other side. For now - switch off and let your brain rest .

 

That is so important. Don't think - just breathe and keep breathing.

 

Just be  ...

[Junglechicken]

Marsha,

 

You are truly not the only one having a bad time of it.

 

I cannot count the number of times I thought to myself "it's all up for me, it's over" and lived to limp out to the other side. In fact I'm in a really bad place aswell and wanted to show moral support.

 

This time of year is tough when life isn't "peachy", I can tell you I am crawling at the moment, not limping.

 

Hugs,

JC

[AliG]

Marsha. Just checking in to see how you are going. I hope things have settled down for you to a degree over the last few weeks.

 

Have you been practicing those techniques we talked about previously ?  Have your symptoms improved or at least become a little more manageable?  Let us know how you are traveling now.

 

Thanks so much for your kind words on my thread. I appreciate it.

 

I hope 2017 brings more healing and recovery for you. 

Hugs,

Ali

[JanCarol]

Hey Marsha - 

 

I was in the pacific northwest for a week and the rain made me very depressed. 

 

I have friends who live there; my ex-husband died there (and suffered immensely from depression).  

 

I found that England (famous for rain and fog) had some splendid sunny days that could really burst through the Winter blues.  Because of the ocean currents, they could get nice mild weather from the Caribbean.  It surprised me to go to England in February and see so much green, and more sunlight than I ever got on an Indiana winter's day.  I think that the Pacific Northwest is gloomier than England, by a long shot.

 

I'm sensitive to the weather, how much light am I getting.  California is one of the sunny places, I love California.  I'm glad you are home safely.

 

I'm working on a post (in my head) about how this time of year affects me - north and south.  The changes in light are less extreme here in Queensland, but the changes in heat can be dastardly.

 

Please, rest your brain, rest your body, be kind to yourself, like Ali was saying. 

 

On another support website I'm involved with, we have a thread called "Underwear."  The thread is about "what did you do today?"  You are not allowed to post the things you wanted to do, and couldn't or didn't.  Only what you accomplished.  Nothing too small, even if you just changed your underwear today - that is an accomplishment, and you can say - I did something today!  (hence, the name of the thread, "Underwear.")

 

So - it sounds like you've been doing some research?  Have you cooked a meal?  Brushed your hair?  Brushed your teeth? Washed your face?  Maybe done a load of laundry?  If you've done any one of these, pat yourself on the back.  You can make this.  And if all you did was wash your face, or change your underwear, your day has some value.  You are healing, you are growing.

 

Welcome back to California sunshine.

[Marsha]

Marsha,

You are truly not the only one having a bad time of it.

I cannot count the number of times I thought to myself "it's all up for me, it's over" and lived to limp out to the other side. In fact I'm in a really bad place aswell and wanted to show moral support.

This time of year is tough when life isn't "peachy", I can tell you I am crawling at the moment, not limping.

Hugs,

JC

Marsha. Just checking in to see how you are going. I hope things have settled down for you to a degree over the last few weeks.

 

Have you been practicing those techniques we talked about previously ?  Have your symptoms improved or at least become a little more manageable?  Let us know how you are traveling now.

 

Thanks so much for your kind words on my thread. I appreciate it.

 

I hope 2017 brings more healing and recovery for you. 

Hugs,

Ali

Hey Marsha - 

 

 

I was in the pacific northwest for a week and the rain made me very depressed. 

 

 

I have friends who live there; my ex-husband died there (and suffered immensely from depression).  

 

I found that England (famous for rain and fog) had some splendid sunny days that could really burst through the Winter blues.  Because of the ocean currents, they could get nice mild weather from the Caribbean.  It surprised me to go to England in February and see so much green, and more sunlight than I ever got on an Indiana winter's day.  I think that the Pacific Northwest is gloomier than England, by a long shot.

 

I'm sensitive to the weather, how much light am I getting.  California is one of the sunny places, I love California.  I'm glad you are home safely.

 

I'm working on a post (in my head) about how this time of year affects me - north and south.  The changes in light are less extreme here in Queensland, but the changes in heat can be dastardly.

 

Please, rest your brain, rest your body, be kind to yourself, like Ali was saying. 

 

On another support website I'm involved with, we have a thread called "Underwear."  The thread is about "what did you do today?"  You are not allowed to post the things you wanted to do, and couldn't or didn't.  Only what you accomplished.  Nothing too small, even if you just changed your underwear today - that is an accomplishment, and you can say - I did something today!  (hence, the name of the thread, "Underwear.")

 

So - it sounds like you've been doing some research?  Have you cooked a meal?  Brushed your hair?  Brushed your teeth? Washed your face?  Maybe done a load of laundry?  If you've done any one of these, pat yourself on the back.  You can make this.  And if all you did was wash your face, or change your underwear, your day has some value.  You are healing, you are growing.

 

Welcome back to California sunshine.

Oh everyone Ali, JC, JanCarol, it brings tears to my eyes, not unhappy tears, but thankful thank you so very much for all of your words, it is so healing, I was sitting here tonight feeling strange from all those years of drugging and trauma just thinking i wanted to just go back home to my mamma in the pacific northwest and just get away from this town and the doctors who did this to me. It is a struggle much of the time to connect with other humans and then getting these most compassionate loving understanding posts just make me sigh with relief. But now I have to go to bed and sleep during my sleep window and let my mind and body heal and recover again this night. Thank you all dear dear ones on this peer support group.

[AliG]

Marsha. It sounds like you are doing a little better and I'm happy for you. It can be a struggle at times and most of us have experienced it during this process but it does help to have the encouragement here to lift you up occasionally, particularly with those that understand what you are going through. It is invaluable.

 

Obviously, there needs to be some added support in place also but it can take some time to " gather " those around you. I understand that as I'm in the process of doing that as well. I tend to try and " tough " it out usually if I'm struggling.

 

I do hope you look for that extra support - whether it be counseling or even a meet - up group. It doesn't really matter as long as it makes you feel good. It all helps to make up a whole network of healing which is so important to us at this time.

Hugs,

Ali

[Marsha]

Marsha. It sounds like you are doing a little better and I'm happy for you. It can be a struggle at times and most of us have experienced it during this process but it does help to have the encouragement here to lift you up occasionally, particularly with those that understand what you are going through. It is invaluable.

 

Obviously, there needs to be some added support in place also but it can take some time to " gather " those around you. I understand that as I'm in the process of doing that as well. I tend to try and " tough " it out usually if I'm struggling.

 

I do hope you look for that extra support - whether it be counseling or even a meet - up group. It doesn't really matter as long as it makes you feel good. It all helps to make up a whole network of healing which is so important to us at this time.

Hugs,

Ali

Thank you Ali. I have scheduled a counseling session with Will Hall and if that doesn't work ron unger will be available in 2 months. There is a local therapist I have worked with occasionally if the others don't pan out. How do I find a meet up group near me? I will try to find one thank you. I was actually doing well but then went to a naturopath to address my thyroid issues and he put me on nature-throid. After nine days I was a mess and it upset my cns so I will have to regroup.