Rosetta: cold switch May 2011 & too fast taper Feb 2017

[snow]

Did your dystonia and tardive dyskenisia went away?

[Ariel]

Thinking of you @Rosetta

Healing vibes <3

[Rosetta]

Hi.  I’m still out here.  Unfortunately, I have had a very hard last year, in my personal life.  So, I’m having a lot of stress and fear.  We came back from Spain to prepare the house to rent.  We tried to accomplish that last summer and couldn’t.  So, I’ve been under a great deal of stress now for about one full year, and, of course, there was quite a lot of stress in the years before that.

 

I’m still trying to deal with the chaos at my house.  We are packing and moving everything into storage. This has made my anxiety a lot worse, of course.  I’m very upset about having to leave my house in the U.S., and I feel that I’m losing my safe space.  If I could keep it to return to and rest, that would be ideal, but that’s impossible.
 

I’m having panic attacks, even in my sleep.  I have many hot flashes day and night, too.  I don’t take anything for those because I can’t take the risk that my system will be thrown back into dysregulation.

 

I’m still completely free of all anti-depressants, anti-anxiety meds, and all pharmaceuticals except Tylenol, very rarely.  I don’t have the destiny’s headaches any longer!  I drink about 1/2 of a cup of coffee a day.  What is remarkable is that, overall, I’m much better off this way - handling stress medication free.   When I’m calm and capable I’m just that - calm and capable.  When I’m overwhelmed and anxious, it’s a natural anxiety. It feels very different than the anxiety caused by anti-depressants.  It might be really intense, but I know it is going to run it’s course, and in 20-30 minutes, I will be back to base-line.  
 

I do have morning anxiety, almost every morning right now, but I can still move about, get things done and work through it.  It’s not a paralyzing anxiety like I used to have.
 

The dystonia is quite mild, if it occurs.  When it does, I can barely feel it most of the time.  Up close reading still causes dystonia symptoms on my right side all the way down to my toes.  I do have some muscle cramps that can be somewhat intense.  Stretching helps.  I haven’t had time to take care of myself very well this past year.  Most of my energy goes into the challenge of helping my daughter.
 

We leave again for Spain in a few days.  I’m not ready, but we have to go anyway.  I hope that, in a few weeks, I will be able to settle into a routine and start to nurture myself.

 

To anyone reading this, hang in there; do not give up!  Find those ways to distract yourself from what you are feeling, re-direct your attention, and persevere until your body finds equilibrium.  You can hold on with the right-for-you coping mechanisms until you are healed enough to have easier days.  
 

For me, having hot showers and baths or using a microwaveable shoulder wrap and warm cups of tea helped me get through the days until the evening time when the anxiety was less intense.  Warmth was the key.  Reading or watching children's shows allowed me to escape into another world for a while.  

 

It’s possible to get through, and if you can let go of trying to control how you get through and instead figure out what your body needs to get through, you will make it.  There are no shoulds.  No, you shouldn’t be able to live through this looking like a normal person, doing everything that normal people do, and just “get over it.”  Don’t let anyone tell you that.  You have been the recipient of bad medicine - malpractice, mismanagement and neglect.  You have to heal just like the person with two broken legs.  It’s going to take time, and you are not expected to be normal.  You need some grace, and you aren’t going to get it from the doctors.  So, you have to give it to yourself!

[gentlehermione]

22 hours ago, Rosetta said:

To anyone reading this, hang in there; do not give up!  Find those ways to distract yourself from what you are feeling, re-direct your attention, and persevere until your body finds equilibrium.  You can hold on with the right-for-you coping mechanisms until you are healed enough to have easier days.  

 

@Rosetta as always, such good advice 🥰 

 

I‘m sorry to hear you are still encountering major challenges. You are not alone. I myself, after several months of thinking that perhaps withdrawal was a thing of the past, have had a major setback. One of these days I will post an update on my thread but for the moment I‘m just trying to get through the thick of it. Summer is always a trying time for me.

 

Sending you positive vibes and wishing you well!