☼ getofflex: weaning of Lexapro

[Emonda]

4 hours ago, getofflex said:

My husband suspects it's related to sinus and inner ear.

 

Hi Getofflex,

Hubby may well be right - sinus and inner ear issues can certainly cause the symptoms you mentioned. When I read your post, my first thought was, do you have a virus/infection?

 

I'm certainly not trying to dismiss your concerns. It'd be good to see if the doctor finds any sign of infection.

 

Wishing you well 

[mstimc]

9 minutes ago, Emonda said:

 

Hi Getofflex,

Hubby may well be right - sinus and inner ear issues can certainly cause the symptoms you mentioned. When I read your post, my first thought was, do you have a virus/infection?

 

I'm certainly not trying to dismiss your concerns. It'd be good to see if the doctor finds any sign of infection.

 

Wishing you well 

That's what came to my mind as well.  My ears get plugged easily due to seasonal allergies, and I have bouts of dizziness. My blood pressure is also at the low end, so if I'm on my knees pulling weeds for a prolonged period, I get lightheaded when I stand.  Occasionally, I get bouts that last a day, which may also be related to inner ear crystals that come loose from my middle/inner ear. 

[arbor]

Hi @getofflex I think the Mgus is a long shot.*  Even if you have developed a marker for it, the chances are overwhelming that you won't progress to a cancerous blood disorder.  I'm glad I had mine checked (at the beginning of w/d) as now my hematologist monitors it for developments toward nonhodgkin's disease or multiple myeloma.  The important thing right now is to catch these very early.  Also dietary changes which I'm making right now as new information comes out, may help in keeping it from developing.  Some studies link Mgus to chemical exposure, as well as increasing age.  There are even some showing high odds with antidepressant use.**  Since many of the Mgus symtoms mimic w/d symptoms, I wonder at the overlap:  parethesias, vision problems, iron and thyroid issues, stabbing pains, hip pain, dizziness, high cortisol, broken sleep, etc.  I also wonder if Mgus has a bearing on PAWS.  I hope this is helpful even if your dizziness is caused by other things.

All my best to you!  You've come such a long way🕊️

Arbor

 

*  A non cancerous blood disorder that rarely develops into serious blood cancers.

 

** An example:

The risk of non-Hodgkin's lymphoma was elevated by 40 percent with the use of fluoxetine, although the 95 percent confidence interval included one (ASOR = 1.4, 95 percent CI: 0.8, 2.4). No pattern was observed with duration of any antidepressant medication use and non-Hodgkin's lymphoma risk (table 4).Sep 15, 2004

Antidepressant Medication Use and Non-Hodgkin's ...

 

[getofflex]

Thanks @Happy2Healfor all the information.  I will look it over soon.  I'm seeing the doctor this morning for my yearly checkup and will mention it to him.  

[getofflex]

18 hours ago, Emonda said:

I'm certainly not trying to dismiss your concerns. It'd be good to see if the doctor finds any sign of infection.

Thanks, Emonda.  I didn't feel you were dismissing my concerns - I too suspect sinus issues. 

[getofflex]

18 hours ago, mstimc said:

My ears get plugged easily due to seasonal allergies, and I have bouts of dizziness.

Thanks mst.  I also have chronic allergies and sinus issues. 

[getofflex]

17 hours ago, arbor said:

All my best to you!  You've come such a long way🕊️

Arbor

Thank you Arbor!  I sincerely hope that you are feeling better.  

[getofflex]

Well the doctor also thinks my dizziness is caused by sinus trouble (allergies).  He suggested Flonase and Claritin.  I'll try one at a time, in low doses.  

[brassmonkey]

My favorite "cure" for allergies was to run a swimming pool through my nose. I would go swimming and allow the water to clear things out. Worked really well. In a less active vain, saline spray really helps. I found Claritin to be too activation and avoid it.

[Onmyway]

Hi @getofflex

dizziness sucks - I get it often as well - in my case also due to dysautonomia. Are you hydrated enough? That helps cope with it for me. 

In terms of allergies - there are a few things to do beyond medicines. It is important to be tested for allergies to find the culprit especially if it is constant and change your environment, whenever feasible, rather than yourself. In my youth I developed asthma as a result of allergies and my awesome GP at the time did this for me instead of just giving me an antihistamine. Once you identify the allergen - in my case it was a specific kind of prevalent mold, you can do things to prevent it. Dust mite allergies are much harder but even they can be alleviated through removing carpets, encasing bedding in allergy proof casings, air purifiers etc. And if you are allergic to stuff outside - then you can do things like wash your hair when you get inside, use an N-95 mask when you are outside etc. 

 

Regarding the meds - Flonase is a corticosteroid which can, in theory, create agitation but in my experience, pre-withdrawal did not, perhaps because the dose is so low when applied topically.  

 

In terms of the antihistamines - Allegra (fexofenadine) is less sedating than Claritin (loratadine). That means that it occupies less of the H1 receptors in the brain. It is not necessarily the same as not impacting the brain as much - they all cross the blood brain barrier. But if Claritin gives you symptoms, then you might want to try Allegra (both are over the counter). 

 

Hope you start feeling better soon, 

OMW

 

[getofflex]

Hi @Onmyway.  Yes, I drink plenty of fluids.  The good news is, the dizziness is completely gone!  I believe I had a respiratory virus that was affecting my inner ear.  While I had the dizziness, I also had other respiratory symptoms. So, I won't be taking the drugs the doctor suggested.  

 

I was tested for allergies years ago, and had an allergy to dust.  I got allergy shots for that.  Thanks for the help and support.  

[Rosetta]

Hi, Getofflex,

 

(not Onmyway, I’m gonna put on my dunce hat now, lol)

 

I’m happy to hear that you are feeling better!  How scary to feel dizzy, but, yep, sinus issues can cause it.  So glad that has subsided for you.  
 

Take care,

🧚🏻‍♀️Rosetta

[getofflex]

I'm currently being affected by the transition from winter to spring.  Last night, I was in a full on wave.  A couple of times I was about to fall asleep, then was awakened by a burst of adrenaline.  Thankfully, the rest I had this afternoon helped, and I'm feeling a bit better.  Every year, I go into a wave at this time.   It's giving me a chance to use my coping skills - acceptance, CBT stuff (like telling myself this is only temporary, this too shall pass, etc), prayer and spiritual life, forest bathing and walks outside, and just taking it slow and being gentle with myself.  

 

Tomorrow is a big day, the original plan was to accompany hubby while we go get taxes done with 3 friends of ours, and then meet for lunch with 7 other people.  I'm probably going to just stay home, and let him go without me, unless I feel a lot better tomorrow.  That's quite a lot of stimulation for my CNS to deal with. 

 

Fortunately the dizziness completely resolved almost a week ago.  I suspect a respiratory virus that affected my inner ear.  

 

I'm very thankful for this site, for all the support and validation and information here!  

Edited March 6 by getofflex

[getofflex]

Hello.  I was out of town from March 24 - 30 with my younger son and husband.  My younger son had a cold on the trip.  Unfortunately, I caught his cold the day after we got back from the trip.  It got very severe.  I didn't realize one could get this sick from a cold.  On day 10 of the cold, it went into a secondary bacterial infection in the respiratory system, and I also got a UTI.  So, now I've been on Cefdinir for 3 days.  It is working, and thankfully, it's not aggravating my WD. I believe the stress from the trip, which caused lack of sleep, plus 2 eleven hour drives in 6 days, was too much for me.  I won't be doing that again.  We did have some good times on the trip, so not all was lost.  I'm going to just be staying close to home for a good long time! 

 

We are having some beautiful spring days here - I've got greens in my garden, birds singing, things leafing out and blooming!  I love spring!  

[BaccatePlayer]

Sorry about your cold being so intense. You have a very good mindset and with some rest your health will catch up to it. Best wishes!

[mstimc]

2 hours ago, getofflex said:

I believe the stress from the trip, which caused lack of sleep, plus 2 eleven hour drives in 6 days, was too much for me.

Stress and being in an enclosed space for a long time is the perfect recipe for getting sick. And there does seem to be an unusually severe cold bug making the rounds. But glad to hear you're on the mend!

[Emonda]

On 4/13/2024 at 4:18 AM, getofflex said:

It got very severe.  I didn't realize one could get this sick from a cold.

 

I'm sorry to read you've been really unwell, getofflex. Wishing you a speedy recovery.

 

On 4/13/2024 at 4:18 AM, getofflex said:

plus 2 eleven hour drives in 6 days, was too much for me.  I won't be doing that again.

 

It takes it out of you. I did that late last year—two 12-hour drives in the space of a week. Be kind to yourself.

 

On 4/13/2024 at 4:18 AM, getofflex said:

We are having some beautiful spring days here - I've got greens in my garden, birds singing, things leafing out and blooming!  I love spring!

 

That sounds beautiful. It's autumn here, and at times, it feels like summer, although I did need a jumper for the first time just the other day.

[gentlehermione]

On 4/12/2024 at 8:18 PM, getofflex said:

 I didn't realize one could get this sick from a cold.  On day 10 of the cold, it went into a secondary bacterial infection in the respiratory system

Hi @getofflex

 

Indeed! I had the same experience a year ago and felt deathly ill. 
 

Hope you feel better soon 🥰

[Onmyway]

On 4/12/2024 at 7:18 PM, getofflex said:

Hello.  I was out of town from March 24 - 30 with my younger son and husband.  My younger son had a cold on the trip.  Unfortunately, I caught his cold the day after we got back from the trip.  It got very severe.  I didn't realize one could get this sick from a cold.  On day 10 of the cold, it went into a secondary bacterial infection in the respiratory system, and I also got a UTI.  So, now I've been on Cefdinir for 3 days.  It is working, and thankfully, it's not aggravating my WD. I believe the stress from the trip, which caused lack of sleep, plus 2 eleven hour drives in 6 days, was too much for me.  I won't be doing that again.  We did have some good times on the trip, so not all was lost.  I'm going to just be staying close to home for a good long time! 

I meant to reply to this last week and time went away from me. I am so glad you are feeling a bit better @getofflex. Colds can be really hard. I had a sequence of Covid and flu earlier in the year and it knocked me down substantially. And the colds this year have been brutal - some schools closed here for a week because the colds were so harsh. Some people are still coughing from colds they got around New Years. They call it the 100 day cough. So pls don't beat yourself up for doing something that caused you a cold. It was likely inevitable if you ever see people.  Hopefully with spring the bugs should be gone. 

 

Sending you warm hugs, 

OMW

[Ariel]

Hi getofflex,

So sorry to hear of your recent bout of infectious illness. Sending best wishes for ongoing recovery. 

I have not been able to participate on SA but think of you often and am so thankful for all you contribute.

How amazing that you have been off psych drugs for almost 2 years! What a remarkable achievement.  

With love and gratitude, get well soon,

A.

 

[getofflex]

Thank you @Emondafor your support!  It means a lot to me.  I'm still recovering.  I am able to do some physical things, but have to pace myself.  

 

@gentlehermioneI'm sorry to hear that you got that sick, too.  

 

@Onmywaythanks so much for letting me know that the colds have been brutal this year, and reminding me not to blame myself!  That helps a lot.  

 

@Ariel It's wonderful to see you! I can't believe I've been off almost 2 years.  

 

I'm still in protracted WD.  Every so often, a nasty wave hits me, like it did Monday - severe insomnia, agitation, anxiety, and major neuro emotions!  Crying spells all morning.  Wow.  Thankfully this wave didn't last long, only a day.  I may have overdone the physical activity, so now I'm being more careful to pace myself.  

[Dee12h]

On 4/24/2024 at 2:26 PM, getofflex said:

.  

 

I'm still in protracted WD.  Every so often, a nasty wave hits me, like it did Monday - severe insomnia, agitation, anxiety, and major neuro emotions!  Crying spells all morning.  Wow.  Thankfully this wave didn't last long, only a day.  I may have overdone the physical activity, so now I'm being more careful to pace myself.  

Wow, seems so unfair given how slowly you went. I’m glad your windows seem really short now. 

[getofflex]

Thanks, Dee.  What you haven't seen, because it made my sig too long, is the fact that in 2017 and 2018 I did a couple of very fast tapers and big reinstatements. (before I found this site) This destabilized me.  That, and I was on SSRI's for 15 years before I started tapering. I started at age 56, and am now almost 63.  However, I'm doing well today, and things are very slowly improving.  

[getofflex]

The very severe cold, and subsequent bacterial sinus infection and UTI in April, has really taken a toll on me.  Ever since this happened, I'm feeling more sad and depressed.  Dealing with WD and PAWS, not to mention the emotional pain from trauma, compounded by neuro-emotions, that is now unmasked because the drugs are no longer there to numb me out, has been about all I could deal with.  So when the illnesses got thrown on top of it all, it was just too much.  

 

I know some of you might be thinking I should go seek therapy.  I don't know if I should or not.  I've been to many therapists in the past, and only about 1 or 2 were marginally helpful.  The vast majority were either patronizing and condescending, or else they were just cold and clinical.  In all honesty, I don't think it would help much.   I do not trust the mental health system, nor the regular health system anymore.  

 

I think I'm just very burned out by dealing with all I've had to deal with over the recent past.  I'm exhausted and weary.   It might not be depression, because I do have days where I feel content.  I'd say about 50% of the time I'm OK.  It may just be sadness and grief that needs to be processed.  Maybe it's just difficult circumstances of life.  Hopefully in time, things will level out and my nervous system will become more stabilized, and life circumstances will get easier.  

Edited May 13 by getofflex

[BaccatePlayer]

I hope you find some peace of mind soon. You've endured so much and deserve a great deal of self-compassion. There's no rush with decisions about therapy. Sometimes, a bit of a change of pace can help us sort things out, especially since you've been consumed by struggles lately. It's your life, and you set your own limits. Remember, by the sheer number of days you've saved me and others, your dedication has not gone to waste.

[mstimc]

Good morning

 

I could just be good old-fashioned burnout. I can only speak for myself, but when I found the right therapist, it as life-changing. Like you, I didn't get far with the first two I met with, so I got more selective. Because I have OCD and had issues with guilt, I looked for a therapist who could address my severe self-judgementalism as well and anxious thoughts.  He taught me CBT and reality testing that really paid off once I started practicing them. One thing I really liked about him was that, at our first session, hi said his job was to put himself out of a job by helping so I wouldn't have to come see him; I never heard that before!

It can be tough to find the right therapist, and I won't tell you to keep looking. I just wanted to share my experience. Take care!

[getofflex]

Thanks @BaccatePlayerfor your supportive message!  It means a lot to me.  

 

I just wanted to add, that I have some good resources at my disposal, and some skills and techniques, that are helping me to heal and work through my trauma.  I suspect that in time, all of this will sort itself out.  

[getofflex]

@mstimcthank you for sharing your experience about therapists.  And, thanks for always being so supportive on my thread.  I think you hit the nail on the head about burnout, too.  I think this is a big part of it. 

Edited May 13 by getofflex

[Ariel]

Dear getofflex,

I'm sorry things are so hard right now. My heart goes out to you for everything you've been through over the years as well as what you're currently experiencing. 

 

47 minutes ago, getofflex said:

The very severe cold, and subsequent bacterial sinus infection and UTI in April, has really taken a toll on me.  Ever since this happened, I'm feeling more depressed.  Dealing with WD and PAWS, not to mention the emotional pain from trauma, compounded by neuro-emotions, that is now unmasked because the drugs are no longer there to numb me out, has been about all I could deal with.  So when that got thrown on top of it all, it was just too much.

 

Your analysis strikes me as accurate and your reasoning sound. It sounds like a state of whole-system burnout and exhaustion. 

 

Even with careful, patient tapering such as your own, psych drugs and withdrawal from them take a toll on our brains and bodies. Our organisms work so hard for so many years to maintain homeostasis, heal and repair iatrogenic harm, keep us going -- how heroically nature carries and supports us! At the same time, we may be left battle-weary, worn thin and prone to fatigue when faced with unexpected novel adversity, be it in the form of an infection or other external stressor. The effects of stress are cumulative, and we have had our fair share. Some people think of this as allostatic load (incidentally, I think I once saw that SA was originally registered under a company name like Allostatic Load LLC... Alto has always had a good sense of humor), we may even have a help topic about it (haha, look at me giving you a link to a help topic). 

 

Last year I caught a run-of-the-mill gastrointestinal virus. The acute symptoms lasted 4-5 days, and then it took me about 2 months to physically recover from the sheer effort of having been through that. My system was just not having it, and the subsequent exhaustion and sense of whole-body depletion were intense. There's just not much buffer, I guess. What we go through in WD (after years/decades of psych drug use) pretty much uses up all our resources and energy reserves. I mean, our bodies are amazing, and how marvelous the work they do! And also, there are consequences, and we continue to be invited to be gentle with ourselves and meet ourselves with lovingkindness and self-compassion and tend our needs with care. 

 

47 minutes ago, getofflex said:

I think I'm just very burned out by dealing with all I've had to deal with over the recent past.  I'm exhausted and weary.   It might not be depression, because I do have days where I feel content, and optimistic, but I'm having more days where I feel exhausted and sad.  It may just be sadness and grief that needs to be processed.  Maybe it's just difficult circumstances of life.  Hopefully in time, things will level out and my nervous system will become more stabilized, and life circumstances will get easier.  

 

Again, you are so wise. I love that you are so in touch with yourself and connected to your own embodied experience. From my perspective it is such a profound sign of healing and deep resilience that you are able to view the circumstances with such lucid acceptance. You sound so clear, so strong; and even though you are feeling tired, I see the light in you burning so brightly! With every ounce of my being I feel your integrity and psychospiritual wholeness, and I know that in your heart and soul, where it really counts, you are well. You are a champion! 

 

Yes, things will level out and your nervous system will continue to heal and strengthen. You know what to do, you are so wise and have come so far, and you've already shown you can do hard things and win! Go gently and give yourself so much credit, so much grace. You are amazing! Feel your feelings, give yourself rest and love and tenderness, allow the grief to move through you. Know that you are whole, and you are beautiful,  and you are doing everything right. 

 

Wishing you softness and sweetness and restitution, sending healing vibes, 

A. 

 

[Ariel]

1 hour ago, getofflex said:

I know some of you might be thinking I should go seek therapy.  I don't know if I should or not.  I've been to many therapists in the past, and only about 1 or 2 were marginally helpful.  The vast majority were either patronizing and condescending, or else they were just cold and clinical.  In all honesty, I don't think it would help much.   I do not trust the mental health system, nor the regular health system anymore.  

 

As for therapy, I say trust your gut. If you don't feel like it, that's valid. You'll know if/when you're ready. I have every confidence that you know what's best for you. 

 

If you ever do feel like talking to someone and don't want to deal with the mental health system (which, by the way, I so totally hear you on that!), it might be worth considering talking to someone like Chris Paige or Angie Peacock (just to name a few examples off the top of my head). They are both psychiatric survivors, trauma survivors, as well as coaches and social workers. I don't have any personal experience of working with them, so cannot endorse them per se, but my impression is that they are both highly aware of the problems of mainstream "health care", not least in light of their own lived experience, and offer alternative, trauma-sensitive care with an understanding of what it means to have gone through WD, among other things. Just a thought. 

[getofflex]

@Arielthank you so much for your kind, sensitive, and compassionate words of support!  I'm very touched, and it's making me cry, but good tears of thankfulness.  It means so much to hear your words of support and encouragement.  We are all warriors on here, we have been through so much.  I had not heard the term allostatic load before, I'll check out that link!  Yes, I do think a lot of this is burnout.  I will make a point to be extra gentle with myself, and cut myself a break.  Thanks for your recommendations of Chris Paige or Angie Peacock.  I've listened to both of them, and I think these would be better candidates for help than a traditional mental health professional.  I'll keep this in mind.  

[getofflex]

I'm almost 2 years off of all psych meds.  I'm going to go ahead and write an update.  

 

I'm definitely having a lot of emotions.  Because I also have trauma (CPTSD) from childhood abuse and neglect, I'm not sure how much is neuro emotions, and how much is from the trauma.  So, I'm of course doing things to recover from my CPTSD, and cope with that.  I'm part of a very good online forum for that, reading books by Pete Walker and doing the things he advises as well, with natural self care.  Pete Walker suggests a co-counseling relationship with a good friend, and I'm doing that, which is helpful too.  For the past several months, I've been having a lot of sadness/grief.  I deal with it as it comes up, and express it instead of just stuffing it down, like I used to do.  Our youngest son is about to move to Denver for his permanent full time job.  He just graduated from college.  I think a part of my grief is empty nest syndrome.  It is stressful having him home, because he is used to living on his own, and gets testy and irritable easily.  I think he is also stressed about the big life changes about to happen, naturally.   

 

I suspect neuro emotions are playing a role still, because I still have waves for several hours, where I'm laying in bed unable to sleep, and feel like I want to jump out of my skin, although this sensation is getting milder, and overall, my sleep is gradually improving.  I'm also still rather agoraphobic, and my social anxiety (which I've always had) is ramped up.  My social skills are not all that great.  Because of all this, and because my husband and I are retired, I'm finding it challenging to try and get out there be around people.  We have church, and bird watching groups.  Unfortunately, the leader of the main birding group is a difficult man, and is rather controlling, irritable, and snarky.  This is just the type of person that tends to trigger my trauma response, so I have been avoiding that group, at least for the time being.  

 

In short, I'm in an emotionally sensitive and fragile place at this time, and I think a lot of it is still from the WD.  I feel like I'm back to being that shy, sensitive, and self conscious 13 year old girl I once was.  I'm ultra sensitive to things, and I cry very easily, which is not necessarily a bad thing.  I'm hoping that as the WD continues to resolve, I'll become less sensitive.  Any reassuring or encouraging words are welcome.  Has anyone else experiencing this?  

[Catina7]

54 minutes ago, getofflex said:

I'm almost 2 years off of all psych meds.

 

Wow, congratulations!  What a major feat.  👍

 

54 minutes ago, getofflex said:

I'm of course doing things to recover from my CPTSD, and cope with that.

 

It sounds like you are being very proactive with all the positive things you're doing to help yourself recover and deal with this.  

 

56 minutes ago, getofflex said:

although this sensation is getting milder, and overall, my sleep is gradually improving.

 

Good to hear!  Recovery and healing are still happening and your body is slowly finding its balance.

 

58 minutes ago, getofflex said:

I'm also still rather agoraphobic, and my social anxiety (which I've always had) is ramped up.

 

It seems like this whole process can really intensify any weaknesses that were already present.

 

59 minutes ago, getofflex said:

I have been avoiding that group, at least for the time being.

 

Good!  We must set the proper boundaries for our mental health and well-being.

 

59 minutes ago, getofflex said:

I'm hoping that as the WD continues to resolve, I'll become less sensitive.  Any reassuring or encouraging words are welcome.

 

I'm sure this will be the case @getofflex!  Healing - although slow sometimes - is continuing to happen.  You've done such a great job with getting to where you are now and have helped SO many here on the site.  We're all here to support you as you continue to heal and recover.  ❤️

[mstimc]

Gettofflex, it took me about three years to feel "normal" after WD.  One the hardest things for me to accept was that "It's okay to feel okay", and allow myself to appreciate windows without worrying about waves.  Time is a great healer.  You're doing great!

[Ariel]

Hi getofflex,

Thinking of you with respect and appreciation. 

Happy belated 2-year anniversary, congratulations! Celebrating you, your achievements, all your hard work making it this far. 

And so grateful as always for your contributions here. 

Remember to give yourself so much credit every day, you are amazing!

Sending love and healing vibes,

Ariel

[Emonda]

Dear GotOffLex,

Just wondering how you are doing.

 

On 6/10/2024 at 3:43 AM, getofflex said:

We have church, and bird watching groups.

 

I hope you are still finding some joy in the above.

 

Warm wishes, Emonda