Doctorsrcrap: can't cry and frustrated

[Tom2020]

On 5/8/2024 at 5:46 AM, Doctorsrcrap said:

I'm new to massage so I know nothing about it. Are you supposed to feel like you've been hit by a bus afterwards. 

It was a very deep massage because of the pain I've been in. She said my muscles in my butt are super tight. 

However today everything hurts like crazy. 

I would think muscle cramping is contributing to your pain. It can be really hard to get rid of chronic muscle tension.

 

Did you get any benefit from the massage after the extra pain passed?

 

I know you've seen a physio as well as had the deep massage. Stretching helps. Can you tell us about the stretching you did?

 

For massage I suggest shiatsu. It's very different from other kinds - instead of kneading the tissue around it involves gentle, steady pressure on the same spot for some time. It's good at treating tension deep in the tissue but it's not painful like deep tissue massage. It's also very relaxing.

 

I gather acupuncture can be really good for pain when other things fail.

[Doctorsrcrap]

I have looked at trying to talk to angie peacock but she is fully booked.

 

No the massage did not help. I've done all sorts of exercises and stretching but nothing has even touched the problem. 

 

I think big pharma one. Congratulations. Another life is going to be claimed 

[Tweed9674]

Hi @Doctorsrcrap

 

I'm so sorry that you suffer so much!!

 

You mentionned Amitriptyline. Maybe it would be worth a shot to treat the pain?

[Doctorsrcrap]

I don't know how to do do safety 

[Tweed9674]

There is a thread about tapering Amitriptyline with some info.

I think that I'd do it like if it was a reinstatement. Start very low to see if tolerate it.

 

Then work you way up and hold between each updose.

 

My understanding is that it is soluble in water so you can make your own mix yourself.
 

It could be worth a shot.

 

Keep fighting with us, we will see better days ❤️ 

[Doctorsrcrap]

I've tried reading it but I feel so overwhelmed I can't get my head round it 

[Tom2020]

Don't give up @Doctorsrcrap. We're all behind you. Your body will heal given enough time. I had a remarkable improvement over a couple of years.

 

You have options you can try. Regarding drugs, I understand your reluctance toward Amitriptyline. Personally I would keep that as something like a last resort. I'm no expert but (ultra) low-dose Naltrexone looks to me like a safer option. Amitriptyline is an antidepressant that affects dozens of receptors including some of the usual suspects like serotonin and norepinephrine, which Propranalol also works on. 

 

Naltrexone, in contrast, is not an antidepressant. It's mainly used to help quit alcohol and opioids, but lately low doses are being seen as a promising treatment for chronic pain. Its effects seem to be much more specific than Amitriptyline's and it acts on Opioid receptors, unlike antidepressants. Since you've recently taken morphine (an opioid) without a bad reaction, that seems a positive sign. At low doses it's thought to be an anti-inflammatory. At low doses side effects should be less likely. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Low-dose_naltrexone

 

Again, I'm not a doctor. This is just my best guess based on my reading. Your doctor may have thoughts on it. In fact people on this website may have experience with it too.

[Doctorsrcrap]

I would have thought if morphine made no difference then that wouldn't work either 

[Tweed9674]

The idea is to make a solution from the tablet by crushing it in a fine powder and adding a fixed quantity of water.

 

If a tablet is 10mg and you add 10ml of water, taking 1ml of solution = 1 mg of the meds.

 

That's what I extracted from the thread.

I'm not sure about a starting dosage.

 

 

 

 

[Farm24]

6 hours ago, Doctorsrcrap said:

I have looked at trying to talk to angie peacock but she is fully booked.

 

No the massage did not help. I've done all sorts of exercises and stretching but nothing has even touched the problem. 

 

I think big pharma one. Congratulations. Another life is going to be claimed 

What type of massage did you get? 

[Doctorsrcrap]

Thank you. I'm not sure if different kinds have to be done differently and how long the liquid stays good. Its just to much for an overwhelmed person 

[Doctorsrcrap]

One was Swedish and one was a sports trigger point massage 

[Farm24]

Just now, Doctorsrcrap said:

One was Swedish and one was a sports trigger point massage 

Swedish does nothing for me. Do you have trigger points? Knots?  I have been getting myofacial massages with stretching at home

[Tom2020]

8 minutes ago, Doctorsrcrap said:

I would have thought if morphine made no difference then that wouldn't work either 

Morphine and naltrexone are used together for pain so they're doing different things and somehow work together

 

This seems to be about normal-dose naltrexone and morphine  for pain https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morphine/naltrexone

 

Some drugs work quite differently at low and high doses. Low (or ultra-low) dose naltrexone is also used on its own for pain, but for all I know it might work synergistically with morphine at low doses too.

[Doctorsrcrap]

It's all to confusing. If I guess and get this wrong I could cause myself even more problems. 

[manymoretodays]

1 hour ago, Tom2020 said:

Morphine and naltrexone are used together for pain so they're doing different things and somehow work together

 

This seems to be about normal-dose naltrexone and morphine  for pain https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morphine/naltrexone

 

Gosh, I find it difficult to believe.  Naltrexone in the old days, not too long ago, was used only, to reverse opiod overdoses and save lives.  It sure seems odd, that now they would combine the 2 for pain control.  And yes I am aware that low dose naltrexone is a "thing" for many things now.  And perhaps some have had or found some relief of symptoms with it.

 

On recommending other drugs on this site:  Just reminding you all, that if you want to recommend additional drugs to anyone......please be willing to take full responsibility if they take you up on your offer.  I'd recommend a review of the site guidelines and then skip to what will get you warned or banned.  This goes for any supplement regimens as well, outside of our basic recommends. 

 

You can talk about what helped YOU, freely if you'd like......as long as you don't promote it as a catchall for ALL with WD and any one or 2 particular tough symptoms.

 

Just a soft reminder.  And I realize we'd all love so much to help another out of a very difficult, and paInful situation......and that your suggests are coming from the heart.

 

@Doctorsrcrap  I'm a little concerned about you.

  

7 hours ago, Doctorsrcrap said:

I think big pharma one. Congratulations. Another life is going to be claimed 

And the tone of this ^

Is there someone on the ground that you could make a safety contract with and mean it?  Does your husband manage your morphine, or could you ask him to?  Read the first post here, and I hope you don't take offense at me sending you this link:

For those who are feeling desperate or suicidal

 

Please don't give up and do anything harmful to yourself.   I think the Good Samaritians are available by phone in your area.   Sometimes a safe stranger, who you can feel assured won't send you to hospital or something, can make a huge difference.   And I'm so sorry it's been so hard and for so long.  I did take the liberty of reading much of your Introduction.

 

Have you been able to go to tears yet, a good cry?    For me, it's a wonderful release for frustration sometimes.  Could it be, that the morphine, even in small irregular doses, might have added to your distress?  The despair distress I mean?   Something to think on anyway.......as it hasn't touched your physical pain.

 

Alright, Love, peace, healing, and growth, 

mmt 

We all do and can heal, never stop believing that.   Just please stay safe.

 

.Any Windows at all, or improvements in any symptoms? 

Sending virtual gentle hugs, prayers, and hope in massive quantities.

[Tweed9674]

I owe you an apology @Doctorsrcrap. I was out of line.

Manymoretodays is right, I shouldn't have mentioned meds for which I could offer no guidance.

 

Keep fighting with us, there are much better days ahead ❤️ 

[Doctorsrcrap]

@Tweed9674No need to apologise I realise that you are a good person and that you only did so with the best of intentions. 

To be honest unless I really knew what I was doing and had guidance from someone who could talk me through for sure what to do I most likely wouldn't take anything. To be honest I'm to scared to make a situation worse.

 

@manymoretodays

I am no longer taking the morphine. I stopped it weeks ago. It was doing nothing to help and so I now no longer take anything. I will not take something for the sake of it. Whatever is wrong will clearly not respond to opoids or anti inflammatories. And I don't believe in taking it for the sake of it. 

My husband and my family are all trying their best to look after me. 

I've been through a lot these last few years and although a lot of my symptoms have been awful, I've coped with them. This pain I'm in is the worst thing I've experienced and that is saying A LOT. 

It would be different if I had the kind of paon that at least when resting it eased and so could concentrate on other things but not being able to sit because my buttocks turn to a raging fire makes things almost impossible. People say lay down. I can't. Any pressure on my buttock or lower back causes searing hot pain. 

It's a lose lose situation. I realise no one here can help me. I realise no one can help me. 

I've seen other people get help, like alto for example with micro dosing during withdrawal but where the heck they find knowledgeable people who won't cause them more harm is beyond me. Any medical professional I go to seem to be complete idiots. I could write a book at how useless they are. 

For example. A couple of weeks ago I was very ill and ended up in a and e even though my main concern was my pain I had a fever, none stop diarreha and stomach cramps. After 9 hours they told me I had a UTI. I told them I did not. I told them I had something wrong with mg gut and besides I was here for the pain. They didn't care. They said you def have a UTI. I don't know how they came to that conclusion. They never even did a water sample. I go to my doctor telling them they are wrong. They make me take anti bionics for the UTI. 

Turns out I had campylobacter and not a UTI. They couldn't even get something as basic as that right. So I took the anti biotics for no reason. After a few weeks I asked them to check I had managed to clear the infection on my own. Reluctantly they said they would run another stool sample. I then get a message telling me the lab didn't run the test because they had given me the wrong kit to collect the sample in. These so called professionals are a joke. Honestly. And still no one doing anything for my pain. In fact they don't care. This is just the tip of the ice burg as to the sub par care I've received. 

Sorry for the rant. It's not your problem 

[manymoretodays]

3 hours ago, Doctorsrcrap said:

Sorry for the rant. It's not your problem 

Not a rant.  And I care Doctorscrap.  It's not a problem to care.  Do keep searching and hanging on.  Any comfort at all from anything?

I know, I know, it's not just these psychiatric/psychoactive drugs or psychiatry, it's general medical all around sometimes that needs improvements.  People who just don't listen to the person they are treating so often.  We are all just pearls of wisdom on our own bodies and minds.

3 hours ago, Doctorsrcrap said:

Any pressure on my buttock or lower back causes searing hot pain. 

When did this symptom begin? (at this intensity)

 

Well, sending you the best and with hopes you do find a doc or practitioner, or friend who can really listen and knows just how to heal this for you.  Meantime in my prayers and best of intentions.  Glad your family is on your side and supportive. ❤️

 

L, P, H, and G

 

 

Edited May 31 by manymoretodays

[Doctorsrcrap]

It started with back pain end of December which just wasn't getting better and then end of March the searing hot burning started which has made it impossible to sit. I was living a semi life before this. Now I can't cope. Things were supposed to get easier not harder 

[Jaffa]

@Doctorsrcrap

dear drc, please make an appointment with Angie. She may be booked out but make one anyway. She will know how to contact Amy who she interviewed about pain and withdrawal. Amy was the one who ended up on a “ teeny tiny” dose of amiltryptiline. It was just enough to take away the extreme pain and make things more manageable. 
 

Im so pleased you have your husband and family to support you. That is so much more than I have. I have zero support. Please remember that while all the doctors and health care professionals have been unhelpful and uncaring , we all care very much. I think of you often, especially when I see so many other stories of physical pain as a result of withdrawal. 
 

Since starting mirtazapine 11 months ago, I feel very little. My emotions are numb . I have no access to good feelings. I think “ it’s a nice day” and I feel nothing. When I do my yoga class I notice that nothing hurts like it use to. It’s like I don’t get the feedback to tell me when to stop stretching. This is a big worry. I can only imagine what pain will be revealed when I start to taper. I know it is impossible to feel good about being off psych meds when you are in so much pain but you really have done so incredibly well to get to this point. Don’t give up on yourself. You matter . You will heal. Sending love ❤️ 

[Bailey]

47 minutes ago, Jaffa said:

@Doctorsrcrap

dear drc, please make an appointment with Angie. She may be booked out but make one anyway. She will know how to contact Amy who she interviewed about pain and withdrawal. Amy was the one who ended up on a “ teeny tiny” dose of amiltryptiline. It was just enough to take away the extreme pain and make things more manageable. 
 

I

Angie has a tapering/support circle next week (though U.S. time in the evening) and I'm sure she'd be able to give information if this sounds like a good idea to you. If not, discard. I only spotted this post and not the history.  I was in a circle this week and people talked about this kind of thing and she provided resources. https://calendly.com/apeacockconsulting/tapering-support-circle-weds?back=1&month=2024-06 

 

UK circle a little later in the month: 
https://calendly.com/apeacockconsulting/tapering-support-circle-uk-europe?back=1&month=2024-06

[Doctorsrcrap]

@JaffaI'm sorry you have no support. I hope things get better for you. 

 

For me, there's nothing else left to do 

[Erimus]

1 hour ago, Doctorsrcrap said:

@JaffaI'm sorry you have no support. I hope things get better for you. 

 

For me, there's nothing else left to do 

There is always something else to do. Have you tried ice baths? They might not cure your pain but will certainly take your mind off it.

[LotusRising]

On 5/30/2024 at 8:29 AM, Doctorsrcrap said:

I think big pharma one. Congratulations. Another life is going to be claimed

Hi @Doctorsrcrap

 

I'm sad to read that you're still dealing with so much pain! I experienced very severe nerve pain (all over) while I was tapering, so I can definitely relate to your above statement. But big pharma hasn't won and doesn't deserve to win. You still have a future to look forward to! I know you know this, but you need to keep going, whatever it takes. You will need to dig deeper than deep to get through it, but it can be done ❤️

 

What is happening with your pain? Has it changed at all, in any way? Does it move around, come and go, change in intensity?

[Doctorsrcrap]

@LotusRising

Its just so bad. What if its not withdrawal and there is something actually wrong but these idiots just can't figure it out. It's so bad. As soon as any pressure is applied to the area that's it its agony. And then it remains irritated. And just burns and burns and burns. It never goes away. I feel like no one is listening to me. 

I'm so distressed. I just want it to end  

[LotusRising]

On 5/31/2024 at 12:35 PM, Doctorsrcrap said:

I'm so distressed. I just want it to end

Is there any follow-up planned?

 

 

[manymoretodays]

On 5/31/2024 at 5:20 AM, Jaffa said:

dear drc, please make an appointment with Angie. She may be booked out but make one anyway. She will know how to contact Amy who she interviewed about pain and withdrawal. Amy was the one who ended up on a “ teeny tiny” dose of amiltryptiline. It was just enough to take away the extreme pain and make things more manageable. 

 

Is this the Angie Peacock interview with Amy, you are referring to @Jaffa ?

 

 

And maybe you'll find some hope, or something helpful at her youtube channel Doctorscrap.

I hope so.

[manymoretodays]

And I did see this Dc.  Thanks for answering my question.  Anything happen prior to the back pain that you can pinpoint?  Did you overdo at all, as far as exercise goes?  I think someone else might have said this, but there is always the chance that you have an overlapping condition along with your PWD then intensifying it.  Did they do MRI's or any x-rays, or Ct scans?

On 5/31/2024 at 4:33 AM, Doctorsrcrap said:

It started with back pain end of December which just wasn't getting better and then end of March the searing hot burning started which has made it impossible to sit. I was living a semi life before this. Now I can't cope. Things were supposed to get easier not harder 

 

And this from LotusRising:

  

9 minutes ago, LotusRising said:

Is there any follow-up planned?

 

And what's today's report or update Dc?  Any moments without the pain?

We are just trying to help you cope honey, with what seems so unbearable.  Let us know what isn't helpful, okay?

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

Edited June 2 by manymoretodays

[Jaffa]

@manymoretodays

Yes. That’s the video I was referring to. Thanks for linking it here 🌷

[Jaffa]

@Doctorsrcrap

How are you today ? Just wondering, have you sought a second opinion? I was talking to someone today who has been suffering with lower back pain. Turned out she had a heavy bulging disc that was pressing against some nerves. She ended up having an operation where they shaved away part of the disc so that there was less weight pressing on the nerves and it made a tremendous difference to her pain. She still has some pain and  needs occasional pain medication but it’s so much better since her procedure. Did they say anything about a “ bulging disc” ? Always thinking of you whenever I come across something about pain 🙏🏻💕

[Doctorsrcrap]

I've had 4 MRIs. The first 3 found nothing wrong. I'm waiting results on the 4th. Any pain relief I've been given hasn't worked. That is why they want me to take the amitriptiline but I'm just so scared to do that. 

I've tried contacting Angie about talking to Amy but no luck there. 

I've spoken to 3 different consultants and my GP so far no one can work out the pain. I've been to A&E 4 times. They won't do anything. 

I did nothing to start the back pain. Nothing at all. It just came on out of no where after what felt like a water infection but I didn't have a water infection. My doctor just said you've had a lot of weird stuff happen haven't you that no one can explain. Maybe this is just another one that can't be explained. 

[Barry2954]

20 minutes ago, Doctorsrcrap said:

I've had 4 MRIs. The first 3 found nothing wrong. I'm waiting results on the 4th. Any pain relief I've been given hasn't worked. That is why they want me to take the amitriptiline but I'm just so scared to do that. 

I've tried contacting Angie about talking to Amy but no luck there. 

I've spoken to 3 different consultants and my GP so far no one can work out the pain. I've been to A&E 4 times. They won't do anything. 

I did nothing to start the back pain. Nothing at all. It just came on out of no where after what felt like a water infection but I didn't have a water infection. My doctor just said you've had a lot of weird stuff happen haven't you that no one can explain. Maybe this is just another one that can't be explained. 

Have you considered the possibility that your case could involve withdrawal symptoms from more than one of the psychiatric medications? Pain in general can be one of the problems with benzodiazepine withdrawal; a decade after my withdrawal started I still have limits on how long I can remain standing without my back starting to hurt because of my own. I was never warned about the potential side effects of the benzodiazepines so took years to work out that they had been responsible for most of my subsequent symptoms. Because the treating psychiatrist ignored my complaints about the symptoms of the withdrawal he kept me on the antidepressant sertraline until that went wrong too, causing thunderclap headaches. Subsequent treatment also went disastrously wrong, inducing a seizure and kindling of the benzodiazepine withdrawal. It wasn't just a single event but a series of screw ups by the psychiatrists. I see that you experienced rage in the early days of withdrawal. I have had to learn that the increased aggression and homicidality which I experienced are just two of many of the symptoms of BIND (benzodiazepine induced neurological dysfunction).

 

Like yourself I have had multiple MRI with nothing found and still keep a stash of Panadol handy in case of a return of the headaches.

[Doctorsrcrap]

Yes I understand the pain could be withdrawal related. After all my med history is a mess. 

The point is the pain is unbearable and unmanageable and I don't know how I'm going to be able to continue as I am.

I thought everyone recovered from withdrawal eventually but I'm starting to doubt whether that really is the case. 

[Barry2954]

43 minutes ago, Doctorsrcrap said:

Yes I understand the pain could be withdrawal related. After all my med history is a mess. 

The point is the pain is unbearable and unmanageable and I don't know how I'm going to be able to continue as I am.

I thought everyone recovered from withdrawal eventually but I'm starting to doubt whether that really is the case. 

I don't know whether it will help you but my own attempt to try to repair the damage done by psychiatrists is focused on gradually repairing my microbiome. Having the right bacteria inside us helps to regulate pain both by the substances which they produce as well as by helping to kill off pathogenic bacteria, which can be a factor in causing the pain. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31551115/   I have only been following this course for the last year but have made minor improvements in my condition. I can't prove my theory but I am hoping that the right microbes inside me will gradually help to reverse the damage caused by medications.

[Doctorsrcrap]

Thank you. I've done a gut microbiome test and apparently it's all good which is good news at least