Schmeg82 Paxil withdrawal and taper after 21 years

[Schmeg82]

July 30 update

 
last couple days were rough again with symptoms back full throttle.  Today I woke up with a bad headache and felt very depressed, tried to tough it out but ended up having to take an aleve.  I was very depressed and going stir crazy this morning so I drove to my barn and went for a walk on the 10 acres, I dreaded going home again so i drove to a friends house a few miles away to visit, I just needed to get out.  It felt good to drive and feel some independence.  Even though I didn’t feel my best it felt good to go.  I wanted to keep driving around but had to be back for a grocery delivery.  
 

August 5th marks 7 full months (approx) since withdrawal symptoms started, and 5 months since 10mg reinstatement.  Even though the last 2 months have been the worst yet I’m starting to find slight relief again in some symptoms.  Of course the vision has not let up at all, if anything it’s gotten worse.  I’m wondering if the actual pill is causing this now or if it’s just relentless WD symptom since it started when I was tapering to fast.  Most other symptoms come and go now, tremors disappear for days at a time now and I have my energy back, mostly.  I’m tired but not fatigued and lethargic.  I do find myself napping more lately and I’m not mad about that.  

 

I’m trying to be like the little engine that could and just chug along.  

[Catwoman73]

It is curious that most of your withdrawal symptoms have at least somewhat eased, and your windows and waves are now pretty clearly definable, but the vision is getting worse.  Since you do seem to be relatively stable, have you considered trying a small cut?  It might be worth trying at this point.  You could try 5%, or go even slower, with a brassmonkey style micro taper, if you're really nervous.  

[Schmeg82]

20 minutes ago, Catwoman73 said:

It is curious that most of your withdrawal symptoms have at least somewhat eased, and your windows and waves are now pretty clearly definable, but the vision is getting worse.  Since you do seem to be relatively stable, have you considered trying a small cut?  It might be worth trying at this point.  You could try 5%, or go even slower, with a brassmonkey style micro taper, if you're really nervous.  

I was going to start that in September and give myself another month to see if anything gets better!  That would be a full 6 months since reinstating 

[LostInCanada]

@Schmeg82 it is good to have a plan and come to peace with it. ♥️

[Willy]

I got to the point where the pill was definitely causing my symptoms. Just wish I recognized it sooner instead of letting Dr continue increasing my dosage.
 

Do your symptoms get worse the few hours after taking pill?

[Catwoman73]

3 minutes ago, Schmeg82 said:

I was going to start that in September and give myself another month to see if anything gets better!  That would be a full 6 months since reinstating 

 

That sounds like a good plan!

[Schmeg82]

Just now, Willy said:

I got to the point where the pill was definitely causing my symptoms. Just wish I recognized it sooner instead of letting Dr continue increasing my dosage.
 

Do your symptoms get worse the few hours after taking pill?

I take my pill at 8:30am and I’m usually the worst after 4/5pm, sometimes I have a little wave in the afternoon around lunch time but it’s short lived.  Evenings have been the worse for me.  All I know is none of these symptoms happened until I tried tapering down, I did have headaches and some weird head, pressure and stuff that would come and go, but nothing like any of this.

[Schmeg82]

2 minutes ago, Catwoman73 said:

 

That sounds like a good plan!

I hope it helps and I hope it doesn’t make me any worse also, we shall see! Honestly, it’s the vision thing that is debilitating for me. I could do so much more and have a more functional life. If I didn’t have that issue to the extreme, it’s  gotten worse the last two months.  Now it seems to be plateaued.

[Catwoman73]

Well, what goes up, must come down!  If it's plateaued, maybe you are in for some improvements!!  I'm very hopeful for you!

[Schmeg82]

47 minutes ago, Catwoman73 said:

Well, what goes up, must come down!  If it's plateaued, maybe you are in for some improvements!!  I'm very hopeful for you!

I really hope so!!!

 

question and I hope this doesn’t sound silly but my friends came to visit me this past weekend then a couple days later they got sick, now I’m starting to feel possible cold symptoms (sneezing, eyes burning, more tired then usual, headache) can our bodies handle going through withdrawal and having a virus? They said they tested negative for Covid so just the cold/flu.

[Schmeg82]

56 minutes ago, LostInCanada said:

@Schmeg82 it is good to have a plan and come to peace with it. ♥️

Yes and I’ll be asking you a million more questions again when I start my taper I’m sure.

[LostInCanada]

9 minutes ago, Schmeg82 said:

I’ll be asking you a million more questions again

And I will be here. 👍☺️

[Sebas]

8 hours ago, Schmeg82 said:

I really hope so!!!

 

question and I hope this doesn’t sound silly but my friends came to visit me this past weekend then a couple days later they got sick, now I’m starting to feel possible cold symptoms (sneezing, eyes burning, more tired then usual, headache) can our bodies handle going through withdrawal and having a virus? They said they tested negative for Covid so just the cold/flu.

Lot of us had covid or flue during wd. It might uptick symptoms though for a short period. 

 

Bye Sebas

[Sebas]

11 hours ago, Schmeg82 said:

last couple days were rough again with symptoms back full throttle.  Today I woke up with a bad headache and felt very depressed, tried to tough it out but ended up having to take an aleve

9 out of 10 times these bad waves are triggered from someting the day before. 

Next time recommend taking paracetamol in stead of any NSAID. 

 

Bye Sebas

[Catwoman73]

16 hours ago, Schmeg82 said:

question and I hope this doesn’t sound silly but my friends came to visit me this past weekend then a couple days later they got sick, now I’m starting to feel possible cold symptoms (sneezing, eyes burning, more tired then usual, headache) can our bodies handle going through withdrawal and having a virus? They said they tested negative for Covid so just the cold/flu.

 

Not silly at all!  I had influenza in January, and got a subsequent sinus infection that required antibiotics.  I had quite a setback from this, but was also under a great deal of stress at the time- two deaths in the family, trying to pack to move.  I think if you can manage to take really good care of yourself and keep the stress to a minimum, the virus will likely trigger a wave, but probably a manageable one.  

 

FYI regarding covid- most people are not testing positive until the 4th or 5th day after symptoms start with the latest variant, os I wouldn't rule it out just yet...

[Schmeg82]

1 hour ago, Catwoman73 said:

 

Not silly at all!  I had influenza in January, and got a subsequent sinus infection that required antibiotics.  I had quite a setback from this, but was also under a great deal of stress at the time- two deaths in the family, trying to pack to move.  I think if you can manage to take really good care of yourself and keep the stress to a minimum, the virus will likely trigger a wave, but probably a manageable one.  

 

FYI regarding covid- most people are not testing positive until the 4th or 5th day after symptoms start with the latest variant, os I wouldn't rule it out just yet...

So far today I’m just extremely exhausted and VERY shaky.  My eyes are burning and I’ve been sneezing but no other cold/virus symptoms so I’m hoping at this point it’s just allergies.   I did sweep and mop my house and my legs were extremely shaky and weak but I managed to get it all done.  It’s only noon here and I’m already ready for a nap.  I am a week out from my cycle as well and usually get symptoms around this time so who knows what has triggered this.  
 

I have some decaffeinated green tea and honey, can I make some hot tea today? Or is green tea bad?  

[Schmeg82]

9 hours ago, Sebas said:

9 out of 10 times these bad waves are triggered from someting the day before. 

Next time recommend taking paracetamol in stead of any NSAID. 

 

Bye Sebas

We don’t have paracetamol here, or not that I’ve seen, I have not noticed an increase in symptoms from one aleve, it’s actually the only med I tolerate well, I don’t know why.  I very rarely use it but yesterday my headache was relentless.
 

EDIT:  just realized that’s the same as Tylenol, we definitely have Tylenol here 😂

[Catwoman73]

22 minutes ago, Schmeg82 said:

I have some decaffeinated green tea and honey, can I make some hot tea today? Or is green tea bad?  

 

If it's decaf, you're likely just fine to go ahead!  There's nothing better than a hot drink when you're feeling crappy!

[Schmeg82]

Back in a terrible wave.  No relief all day yesterday or even this morning.  Very shaky/tremors are bad especially up into my back and neck/head.  Just feel over all unwell still.  Terribly over stimulation/racy/anxiety around 4-7pm
 

I take my medicine at 8:30am, I do seem to be the worst around 5/6pm then sometimes around 8/9 things settle.   Last two days it’s been morning until I fall asleep.  I woke up crying this morning, I just don’t know if I can do this for years.  I haven’t even started tapering again yet and I’m so scared.

[LostInCanada]

@Schmeg82 your body is dealing with some type of virus as well. This makes everything worse. This will pass and get better. I think tapering may bring some relief. ❤️🙏

[Schmeg82]

18 minutes ago, LostInCanada said:

@Schmeg82 your body is dealing with some type of virus as well. This makes everything worse. This will pass and get better. I think tapering may bring some relief. ❤️🙏

I started to feel sick and now I’m not it’s so weird!  Maybe I’m fighting it, not sure.  Or it was just pseudo symptoms 🤷🏼‍♀️  I am due for my cycle in a week so hormones are changing, maybe that’s why.  Either way it stinks.  
 

I had baked chicken and squash/zucchini again last night, that seems to be my go to lately, makes my tummy feel good.  And eggs in the morning.  Sometimes with avocados sometimes toast.

[LostInCanada]

@Schmeg82 hormones are a huge factor. Menopause is wonderful truly lol. 

You got this...one day at a time. Show yourself some extra kindness and love. 

[Schmeg82]

3 minutes ago, LostInCanada said:

@Schmeg82 hormones are a huge factor. Menopause is wonderful truly lol. 

You got this...one day at a time. Show yourself some extra kindness and love. 

I’ll be 42 in September so I’m sure my hormones will be changing more soon 😭

 

i’ve been trying to be kind to myself, but at times I also push myself because I don’t want to become stuck, I get like that where I will just stay in my bedroom and sometimes when I actually get out and try to do things, I feel better, sometimes I feel worse, but its better the chance of getting out and trying to do things like I would in my normal life.  It’s just been so hard lately.  

[LostInCanada]

4 minutes ago, Schmeg82 said:

try to do things, I feel better, sometimes I feel worse,

I just remember one member saying, 

Don't tell me to get out of my comfort zone when I am already so far out of it.

 

It's okay to have those days in the bedroom.

6 minutes ago, Schmeg82 said:

I’ll be 42 in September

My girls are 38 and 40.   You are just a kid lol. Lots of great years to come. This will be a distant memory before you know it. ❤️

[Schmeg82]

7 minutes ago, LostInCanada said:

My girls are 38 and 40.   You are just a kid lol. Lots of great years to come. This will be a distant memory before you know it. ❤️

Awe thank you, that made me tear up, I feel like my life is over and many years to come of tapering feeling this way.  It’s hard to imagine feeling good again.  
 

my husband and I just unloaded 15 bales of hay, I put them in the wheel barrow and cheat, even though I don’t feel well there’s still work to be done on the farm.  It’s very warm here today but I still enjoy this more than being cooped up in my bedroom:  I’m hoping this will throw me into a good afternoon nap later.  I also walked into the pasture and my favorite horse came up to me, she knows I’m not feeling well and she’s always there for me, sounds funny but it’s true.  💕

[Willy]

3 minutes ago, Schmeg82 said:

Awe thank you, that made me tear up, I feel like my life is over and many years to come of tapering feeling this way.  It’s hard to imagine feeling good again.  
 

my husband and I just unloaded 15 bales of hay, I put them in the wheel barrow and cheat, even though I don’t feel well there’s still work to be done on the farm.  It’s very warm here today but I still enjoy this more than being cooped up in my bedroom:  I’m hoping this will throw me into a good afternoon nap later.  I also walked into the pasture and my favorite horse came up to me, she knows I’m not feeling well and she’s always there for me, sounds funny but it’s true.  💕

I’m also suffering and worry that I’ll be like this for years. My life is completely shut down and nobody really understands what we’re going through. Each day seems to crawl at a snails pace. Just hoping to wake up one day with some relief for all of us!

 

Hang in there and never give up!

[LostInCanada]

19 minutes ago, Schmeg82 said:

she knows I’m not feeling well

It's true. They are so intuitive. ☺️

20 minutes ago, Schmeg82 said:

 It’s hard to imagine feeling good again

Just enjoy the little glimmers each day. It can only get better. ♥️

 @Willy

10 minutes ago, Willy said:

. Each day seems to crawl at a snails pace. Just hoping to wake up one day with some relief for all of us!

I remember those days- they do pass- it gets better. We will beat this drug. 💯

[Schmeg82]

Can anyone answer as to why I’m getting a big surge in symptoms every evening around 4-7pm?  Seems like mornings and then around this time they’re really bad lately.  I take my meds at 8:30am every day.  Does this have something to do with the timing of my medicine? 

[LostInCanada]

@Schmeg82 plasma levels peak 4 hours after taking paroxetine. So it isn't that. It may be hormonally related or something to do with your own body's biological rhythm. 

[Catwoman73]

So sorry you're struggling again, @Schmeg82.  When do you eat dinner?  Maybe that 4-7pm thing might be related to swings in blood sugar, or something like that. 

 

7 hours ago, Schmeg82 said:

I also walked into the pasture and my favorite horse came up to me, she knows I’m not feeling well and she’s always there for me, sounds funny but it’s true.  💕

 

Animals KNOW.  I had pneumonia a few years back, and my cat, who is normally very aloof, and couldn't care less if I'm around or not, never left my side.  My husband is not much of an animal person, but thankfully, he understands that we will ALWAYS have animals lol.  My life isn't complete without them!

[Schmeg82]

12 minutes ago, LostInCanada said:

@Schmeg82 plasma levels peak 4 hours after taking paroxetine. So it isn't that. It may be hormonally related or something to do with your own body's biological rhythm. 

Well my bodies rhythm sucks lol!  Thank you for answering, I was wondering!

[Schmeg82]

7 minutes ago, Catwoman73 said:

So sorry you're struggling again, @Schmeg82.  When do you eat dinner?  Maybe that 4-7pm thing might be related to swings in blood sugar, or something like that. 

 

 

Animals KNOW.  I had pneumonia a few years back, and my cat, who is normally very aloof, and couldn't care less if I'm around or not, never left my side.  My husband is not much of an animal person, but thankfully, he understands that we will ALWAYS have animals lol.  My life isn't complete without them!

I eat around 5-6, I snack before that sometimes if I can’t make it from lunch to dinner.  I have noticed it doesn’t matter if I eat before or after it still happens. 
 

And yes animals are so intuitive, I’m very thankful to have mine!!! Especially since I don’t have any children 

[Schmeg82]

MUCH better day today.  Less tremors then yesterday and much more relaxed in general.  My eyes feel like my vison is still “pulsating” but I could focus on people talking earlier and not get overwhelmed or over stimulated.  I spent a lot of time outside today, we got two new mini donkeys at the barn so we made sure they were settled in.  I have a bit of a lingering headache but not to bad.  Hoping for more light days 

[Willy]

I really happy for you! Hoping you continue to have these days!

[Schmeg82]

I spoke way to soon yesterday, felt horrible in the later evening, and woke up feeling terrible again this am.  Have been consistently very shaky/tremors & weak as well as fighting a headache today.  Been laying down for a while, there’s a small hurricane coming anyway so it’s been raining off and on.  

[Willy]

I’ve been terrible again today. Severe depression, anxiety, shakes, tinnitus, nausea, dizzy and more.

 

Hope we get relief soon!