Schmeg82 Paxil withdrawal and taper after 21 years

[LostInCanada]

18 minutes ago, Schmeg82 said:

really hit me hard lately,

I just wish I could make it better. I really am sorry it hasn't been easier. I know you are trying so hard. I hate what this drug can do. 

[Schmeg82]

1 minute ago, LostInCanada said:

I just wish I could make it better. I really am sorry it hasn't been easier. I know you are trying so hard. I hate what this drug can do. 

Thank you, you make to better by talking to me.  And yes, this is an awful drug, it’s absolutely horrific and should be banned.  I will definitely tell my story when this nightmare is over.

[Schmeg82]

19 minutes ago, direstraits said:

You're not alone...I'm the same..it's hell

I’m so sorry.  It’s awful 

[Catwoman73]

I'm so very sorry, Schmeg.  About feeling crappy, and about your mom.  How awful that someone you should be able to count on for support dismisses you like that.  You have us- we're here for you 100% of the way.  Sending you lots of love! ❤️

[Willy]

@Schmeg82 I’m sorry to hear you’re suffering. I think of you often, always hoping better days are coming for you. I so wish there was a softer way out of this mess . Hang in there!

[Schmeg82]

3 hours ago, Catwoman73 said:

I'm so very sorry, Schmeg.  About feeling crappy, and about your mom.  How awful that someone you should be able to count on for support dismisses you like that.  You have us- we're here for you 100% of the way.  Sending you lots of love! ❤️

Thank you very much 💕

[Schmeg82]

1 hour ago, Willy said:

@Schmeg82 I’m sorry to hear you’re suffering. I think of you often, always hoping better days are coming for you. I so wish there was a softer way out of this mess . Hang in there!

Thank you! I wish there was also, the last few days have been super super rough for whatever reason.  I’m still out and about getting prepped for this stupid storm. Thanks for thinking of me, glad t you’re doing better also! 💙

[AAOffZ]

31 minutes ago, Schmeg82 said:

Thank you! I wish there was also, the last few days have been super super rough for whatever reason.  I’m still out and about getting prepped for this stupid storm. Thanks for thinking of me, glad t you’re doing better also! 💙

 
l’m sorry friend. I’m also in a bad bad wave. My brain is absolutely hijacked right now. We can make it through this 😭

[Schmeg82]

Just now, AAOffZ said:

 
l’m sorry friend. I’m also in a bad bad wave. My brain is absolutely hijacked right now. We can make it through this 😭

Ugh I’m so sorry, I really hope we both come out of this soon! 🙏🏼

[Schmeg82]

I just have to vent…. This is a very stressful time for us right now on top of having a major hurricane come right over my house this week I’m also dealing with this horrible wave of withdrawal.  I have felt absolutely terrible the last week or so, symptoms coming and going like crazy, I get these internal tremors with racing anxiety that makes me feel absolutely awful, today has been bad, I’m trying to prepare the house for the hurricane, help my husband do things and I had to lay down because the racing wouldn’t stop and I just felt so bad, my husband says, do you want to just got stay with your mom or something, this storm has your anxiety up, and I said no, I just don’t feel good from these withdrawals …. And he looked at me and said, there’s no way you’re still withdrawaling 10 months later, it’s anxiety.  😭😭😭😭 of course at that I just break down and cry my heart out, because at this point I feel like no one believes me, and what’s the point of even going on.  I’m at my wits end.  This is so hard and to not be believed is so much harder.  

[KenA]

Hang in there @Schmeg82. Our loved ones do have a hard time sometimes with acceptance of what we are going through. The world tells them that we should be better by now and we just must be experiencing anxiety or depression. My wife even told me multiple times that I needed to get back on some kind of medication for anxiety. I told her I was just going through WD and would be fine again one day. Now days she understands what I went through and is glad I didn't go back and get on another pill. Prayers for you and your family with the hurricane heading ya'lls way. 

[LostInCanada]

41 minutes ago, Schmeg82 said:

at this point I feel like no one believes me,

You have to believe in yourself no matter what. You have done the research and you know better. 

KenA gave some solid encouragement. 

It wasn't until I got my hubby to sit down with me and watch the Panorama BBC program that he fully got it. 

44 minutes ago, Schmeg82 said:

This is so hard and to not be believed is so much harder.  

Absolutely. I have a few friends and even my oldest daughter that has expressed doubts and thinks it is just anxiety/mental illness. We just have to keep going and prove otherwise. You will stabilize. We are here for you, we believe you. ♥️Stay safe. 🙏

[Catwoman73]

2 hours ago, Schmeg82 said:

 And he looked at me and said, there’s no way you’re still withdrawaling 10 months later, it’s anxiety.  😭😭😭😭 of course at that I just break down and cry my heart out, because at this point I feel like no one believes me, and what’s the point of even going on.  I’m at my wits end.  This is so hard and to not be believed is so much harder.  

 

I'm so sorry this happened to you, @Schmeg82.  I like LostInCanada's suggestion- when you are in a better position to have a calm discussion with your husband, have him sit down with you and watch the BBC program and Medicating Normal.  Clearly, he is as uneducated about this stuff as we all once were, and the only way he will ever understand is if you educate him.  Sadly, we've had to learn from experience- he has the good fortune to be able to learn from documentaries, TV shows and you. 

 

That being said, his dismissive comment is understandably very hurtful to you, and you have every right to be upset.  So have a good cry, and when you are ready, talk to him.  I don't think having our spouses believe us is too much to ask.  This is a tough enough battle without having to fight about it with those closest to us. 

 

And we definitely believe you.  There's a huge community of people here and in many other support groups who believe you.  You will always have us.  Sending love- and stay safe with that hurricane coming your way!

 

 

 

 

[Schmeg82]

2 hours ago, KenA said:

Hang in there @Schmeg82. Our loved ones do have a hard time sometimes with acceptance of what we are going through. The world tells them that we should be better by now and we just must be experiencing anxiety or depression. My wife even told me multiple times that I needed to get back on some kind of medication for anxiety. I told her I was just going through WD and would be fine again one day. Now days she understands what I went through and is glad I didn't go back and get on another pill. Prayers for you and your family with the hurricane heading ya'lls way. 

Thank you very very much. 💙

[Schmeg82]

33 minutes ago, Catwoman73 said:

 

I'm so sorry this happened to you, @Schmeg82.  I like LostInCanada's suggestion- when you are in a better position to have a calm discussion with your husband, have him sit down with you and watch the BBC program and Medicating Normal.  Clearly, he is as uneducated about this stuff as we all once were, and the only way he will ever understand is if you educate him.  Sadly, we've had to learn from experience- he has the good fortune to be able to learn from documentaries, TV shows and you. 

 

That being said, his dismissive comment is understandably very hurtful to you, and you have every right to be upset.  So have a good cry, and when you are ready, talk to him.  I don't think having our spouses believe us is too much to ask.  This is a tough enough battle without having to fight about it with those closest to us. 

 

And we definitely believe you.  There's a huge community of people here and in many other support groups who believe you.  You will always have us.  Sending love- and stay safe with that hurricane coming your way!

 

 

 

 

I have tried to get him to watch videos, he tells me to quit watching all that crap, because in the beginning it was all I watched, he’s just not one to understand or try I guess because he can’t physically see it, he’s also upset because we don’t go do fun things anymore so I know it’s been stressful on him also.  I’m just in this nasty wave and very depressed questioning if this is even withdrawal or if something else is majorally wrong with me because my vision is still so bad.  I’m really trying my best.   This is a super stressful week with the storm coming also.  

[Schmeg82]

2 hours ago, LostInCanada said:

You have to believe in yourself no matter what. You have done the research and you know better. 

KenA gave some solid encouragement. 

It wasn't until I got my hubby to sit down with me and watch the Panorama BBC program that he fully got it. 

Absolutely. I have a few friends and even my oldest daughter that has expressed doubts and thinks it is just anxiety/mental illness. We just have to keep going and prove otherwise. You will stabilize. We are here for you, we believe you. ♥️Stay safe. 🙏

It’s so hard, I’m just doing what I can to get by right now.  My Symptoms have just been so awful this week, worse then usual, and the stress of the storm coming now also.  We’re all on edge.  It’s so hard because I have no support from my mom either.  You guys are literally all I have, besides one or two friends here in town that believe me. 

[Willy]

It’s a bunch of bullsh!t that your loved ones don’t believe you. Why don’t you tell them to take the meds themselves and see what happens. Not sure why it’s so hard to believe that drugs have consequences. Hopefully you can educate them with some success. At least a bunch of us here understand wd and can support each other. Hope you feel better soon and are prepared for this hurricane. I’m not looking forward to it. Just strapped my boat down as best as I can. Good luck and hoping we get minimal damage

[LostInCanada]

10 minutes ago, Schmeg82 said:

You guys are literally all I have

We have to be family for each other through all the good, bad and ugly. I've had so many say to me 'I don't understand..it's just medication.' I  have said 'I pray you never do understand or else you would be standing where I am now.'

When I started this WD mess, my sister said 'don't expect any help from me.' It's hard to let it go in the thick of it. Then add neuro-emotions. 

So glad you have 2 friends that are good. That is a treasure. ❤️

Big hugs. 

 

[Catwoman73]

3 hours ago, Schmeg82 said:

I have tried to get him to watch videos, he tells me to quit watching all that crap, because in the beginning it was all I watched, he’s just not one to understand or try I guess because he can’t physically see it, he’s also upset because we don’t go do fun things anymore so I know it’s been stressful on him also.  I’m just in this nasty wave and very depressed questioning if this is even withdrawal or if something else is majorally wrong with me because my vision is still so bad.  I’m really trying my best.   This is a super stressful week with the storm coming also.  

This is awful, I’m so sorry.  It sounds like it’s time for a very serious talk with him.  You will be years tapering, and dealing with withdrawal to some degree.  You should be able to count on your spouse to support you, not to blow you off and create self doubt.  And to make you feel badly about not going out and doing fun things too- not cool at all.  It’s not like you asked for any of this.  I hope you can make him see the truth.  Hugs!

[LostInCanada]

3 hours ago, Schmeg82 said:

very depressed questioning if this is even withdrawal or if something else is majorally wrong with me because my vision is still so bad.

Sweet @Schmeg82 it really is withdrawal. If you read the paroxetine side effect insert, blurred vision is a major one. This is one nasty drug, top of the dung pile. You have had tests that have shown nothing just like so many of us. 
I am really sorry you are in this situation with minimal support. Yes it is stressful on him but too bad. It’s a lot more stressful on you. This is an iatrogenic illness. He needs to get over feeling sorry for himself. You have been so strong pushing through and carrying so much. 
This wave will settle, just wish I knew when.

❤️❤️❤️

[LostInCanada]

https://www.medicines.org.uk/emc/files/pil.9582.pdf

 

This is the insert that comes with Paxil. On page 2 the first column, it lists symptoms of withdrawal. Your husband needs to read it.

 

[Schmeg82]

Thank you everyone for caring about me, I just needed to vent yesterday.  I’ve had another rough day, symptoms are strong and had to run around town getting more storm supplies.  I think we are just about all set to hunker down and say some prayers.  Praying for @Willy also as the storm will definitely affect his area also.  
 

also, I am clenching my jaw really bad lately and grinding my teeth, classic WD symptom? I’m assuming since I’ve never done this before?  My throat has been swolllen and sore also, not sure if it’s allergies, WD, or fighting something. Chest pressure and throat tightness again also, upset stomach also, and a lot of indigestion this week 😟

 

pray for us through this storm, gonna be pretty intense.  Really worried for my horses and I’m in a flood zone.  

[LostInCanada]

18 minutes ago, Schmeg82 said:

clenching my jaw really bad lately and grinding my teeth, classic WD symptom?

Yes withdrawal. Some buy a sports mouth guard to lessen grinding, clenching. 

 

19 minutes ago, Schmeg82 said:

pray for us through this storm, gonna be pretty intense.  Really worried for my horses and I’m in a flood zone.

You have prepared. Follow instruction from the authorities. Definitely praying for you. 🙏❤️

21 minutes ago, Schmeg82 said:

My throat has been swolllen and sore also, not sure if it’s allergies, WD, or fighting something. Chest pressure and throat tightness again also, upset stomach also, and a lot of indigestion this week 😟

It all adds to the stress. First priority is the hurricane and your safety. ❤️

[Willy]

2 hours ago, Schmeg82 said:

Thank you everyone for caring about me, I just needed to vent yesterday.  I’ve had another rough day, symptoms are strong and had to run around town getting more storm supplies.  I think we are just about all set to hunker down and say some prayers.  Praying for @Willy also as the storm will definitely affect his area also.  
 

also, I am clenching my jaw really bad lately and grinding my teeth, classic WD symptom? I’m assuming since I’ve never done this before?  My throat has been swolllen and sore also, not sure if it’s allergies, WD, or fighting something. Chest pressure and throat tightness again also, upset stomach also, and a lot of indigestion this week 😟

 

pray for us through this storm, gonna be pretty intense.  Really worried for my horses and I’m in a flood zone.  

I’m very concerned about this storm too. It’s going right over us. I’m in a major flood zone too.  I live directly on the water so storm surge could be a problem for me. The tide is very high as well and lots of rain already. This sucks bad. Be safe and let’s hope for the best!

[Schmeg82]

3 hours ago, Willy said:

I’m very concerned about this storm too. It’s going right over us. I’m in a major flood zone too.  I live directly on the water so storm surge could be a problem for me. The tide is very high as well and lots of rain already. This sucks bad. Be safe and let’s hope for the best!

Just saw it shifted more south too, 11pm update.  Been watching mikes weather page.  Now that puts us on the dirty side of the storm according to Mike, I’m in a flood zone also and very concerned for my horses and barn.  Keep in touch and hope you do well.  At least you won’t get the surge the west coast is going to get!

[Schmeg82]

I’m checking in after the hurricane came over and left this morning.  The actual eye of the storm went right over my house, thankfully the storm weakened a lot before it hit us but we are still without power, my barn property/pastures are completely flooded, downed trees and a power line started a tree on fire in front of my house last night, I noticed it at 1am and the wind was making the embers from the fire blow toward our house and neighboring houses so I was super anxious about something catching fire, thankfully everything was still wet and it was raining on and off.  When the rain stopped the tree caught fire again and the wire finally blew, it was SO loud and bright.  So I got about 2 hours of sleep.  I finally checked on my horses and they are all High and dry but won’t be going into the pasture anytime soon.

 

my withdrawal symptoms are INSANELY intense, I have had every symptom I’ve ever had all at once this week, yesterday and today are awful. I feel so sick, so overstimulated, I’m racing, anxious, tremoring inside and out super bad, my throat is tight and chest, I’m grinding my teeth bad, I just feel SO awful.  My vision is shaking along with my body and making me sick, I had a good cry this am and now after setting up generators I’m finally laying back down and trying to rest/relax and nap.  This is the worst I’ve felt all withdrawal.  
 

@Willy can you check in also? How did you fare in the storm? 

[LostInCanada]

6 minutes ago, Schmeg82 said:

checking in after the hurricane

Thanks for this. Glad you made it through with minimal damage. So happy the horses are safe. 

You have been through so much. Sorry you are still struggling. Hopefully things will lighten since this added stress has somewhat passed 

Sending love and hugs 

[Catwoman73]

Hi @Schmeg82, and thanks for checking in.  I was watching footage last night and thinking of you.  Sending you lots of love- be gentle with yourself.  This is a lot to go through, and it's bound to have you all flared up.  I wish I could do more, but I'm here to listen, anytime you need to chat! ❤️

[Schmeg82]

Checking in again, still have no power but they are finally cutting down the tree branches that caught on fire and burned the power line out, so should be good soon!  
 

the last two days have been utter hell, the stress has made me so much worse but I finally slept from 9pm to 8:45am this last night and felt slightly better.  Morning was rough I was very dizzy and have a terrible headache still, tension headache down into my jaw and teeth too so I’m laying back down finally.  The barn is a mess under water still so I’ve been dealing with that issue as well.  But again, greatful things aren’t worse.  

[Xcaretuk]

Hi @Schmeg82,

Just caught up with your updates. So sorry to hear about all the stress you have been under with the hurricane and the increase of your WD symptoms. Gosh you really didn’t need all this… I am thankful you and the horses are safe. I am sending you lots of love and hugs xxxx

[Xcaretuk]

On 10/8/2024 at 5:17 AM, Schmeg82 said:

I just have to vent…. This is a very stressful time for us right now on top of having a major hurricane come right over my house this week I’m also dealing with this horrible wave of withdrawal.  I have felt absolutely terrible the last week or so, symptoms coming and going like crazy, I get these internal tremors with racing anxiety that makes me feel absolutely awful, today has been bad, I’m trying to prepare the house for the hurricane, help my husband do things and I had to lay down because the racing wouldn’t stop and I just felt so bad, my husband says, do you want to just got stay with your mom or something, this storm has your anxiety up, and I said no, I just don’t feel good from these withdrawals …. And he looked at me and said, there’s no way you’re still withdrawaling 10 months later, it’s anxiety.  😭😭😭😭 of course at that I just break down and cry my heart out, because at this point I feel like no one believes me, and what’s the point of even going on.  I’m at my wits end.  This is so hard and to not be believed is so much harder.  

This is so hard for you and your husband but it’s a thousand times harder for you. I know this is a terrible thing to say but I often think it would be far easier if I had cancer or multiple sclerosis as family, friends, medical professionals etc would be so much more sympathetic. Things would be so much more straightforward as these diseases show up on tests and have fairly predictable outcomes. These meds mimic so many conditions, it’s so frustrating… My husband feels helpless at times I know and I feel so bad, I think we all do. I know we are in different countries but if your husband wants to email my husband for a chat he is more than welcome to do so. DM me for details if you ever think it will be useful. XxxxX

[Willy]

@Schmeg82 glad you survived the hurricane. I definitely know the effect the storm had on our wd recovery and I’m sorry for that. My area suffered a severe tornado outbreak that was devastating. Hopefully you got power back on and can start the recovery. Take care!!

[Schmeg82]

13 hours ago, Xcaretuk said:

This is so hard for you and your husband but it’s a thousand times harder for you. I know this is a terrible thing to say but I often think it would be far easier if I had cancer or multiple sclerosis as family, friends, medical professionals etc would be so much more sympathetic. Things would be so much more straightforward as these diseases show up on tests and have fairly predictable outcomes. These meds mimic so many conditions, it’s so frustrating… My husband feels helpless at times I know and I feel so bad, I think we all do. I know we are in different countries but if your husband wants to email my husband for a chat he is more than welcome to do so. DM me for details if you ever think it will be useful. XxxxX

Thank you and I feel exactly the same.  Sometimes I absolutely wish this was a “real” disease that was diagnosed and could be treated.  My husband just gets frustrated because he doesn’t understand how long this could actually take and sometimes thinks it’s all in my head, but then he sees the physical toll this has taken on me and remembers.  He told me the other day I should just go on disability but I refuse to give up, I’d rather push through and keep trying to work to feel somewhat of a normal life still no matter how hard that is.  I just wish I had more improvements then set backs, all this feels so hopeless to me right now.  I’m so glad you have a supportive husband! 

[Schmeg82]

1 hour ago, Willy said:

@Schmeg82 glad you survived the hurricane. I definitely know the effect the storm had on our wd recovery and I’m sorry for that. My area suffered a severe tornado outbreak that was devastating. Hopefully you got power back on and can start the recovery. Take care!!

I was super worried about you because I knew the tornados were hitting down there, my friend who’s a police officer sent me a huge one in clewiston that went through the Brighton reservation and then I saw video of the one in ft pierce, it was huge!  My friends have a farm off indrio rd and he took videos.  We had several warnings, cocoa beach got hit by one also, the cell went right over my town too but never touched down.  I know I’m over an hour away but if you need Any help or anything sent to you let me know!  We just got power back yesterday later afternoon and internet last night.  Barn is super flooded, borrowing a neighbors pasture for now.  I’m really sorry it hit you hard, I know it revved up my symptoms so bad.  Try and get some rest and relax when you can, we survived this!  

[direstraits]

Glad you and the horses are ok.

What a nightmare!

[Schmeg82]

5 minutes ago, direstraits said:

Glad you and the horses are ok.

What a nightmare!

Thank you! It definitely has been a nightmare!  It’s still rough with the pastures flooded, lots of extra work and I’ve felt extra crappy lately