Schmeg82 Paxil withdrawal and taper after 21 years

[Schmeg82]

10 hours ago, Sebas said:

If you feel pretty well even for a short period of time this means you are slowly recovering. If you feel worse after eating then evaluate what you eat/drank and adjust your diet. These symptoms change throughout the day cause a (hyper)sensitive CNS is triggered by lots of external sources. Considering you still have quite some destability symptoms a drop is likely to even further upset your CNS. Try to manage your daily routins, keep notes and then remove triggers for more stability. It's not just the medicine that creates windows and waves, its also the impact of our lifestyle.

I do definitely get windows where I feel great, but lately many more symptoms have hit, my vision is much worse, light sensitivity worse, the dizziness and weird neck/head sensations come and go throughout the day.  I’m very weak and lethargic which has not hit me in a while. I’m just in a bad wave I guess and trying to figure out triggers.  I do well with 3 eggs every morning so I’ve been doing that for breakfast.  I slept until 10am this morning and that’s not like me at all! And still very tired but trying to take that as a sign to rest more.  I haven’t felt this bad since the beginning of WD.  I also have low iron & b12 but stopped taking supplements for now so I’m hoping those aren’t contributing to my mess. 

[Sebas]

3 hours ago, Schmeg82 said:

I also have low iron & b12 but stopped taking supplements for now so I’m hoping those aren’t contributing to my mess. 

Good thing you het these windows more often. Regarding supplements it's probably the other way around. Stopping supplements when cns is upset will contribute tot more stability. Lot of people on this website have problems caused by b1, b6, b12 or b multi vitamins. B12 for example is related to neurotransmitters and thus likely to disturb serotonine levels. 

[Schmeg82]

Just now, Sebas said:

Good thing you het these windows more often. Regarding supplements it's probably the other way around. Stopping supplements when cns is upset will contribute tot more stability. Lot of people on this website have problems caused by b1, b6, b12 or b multi vitamins. B12 for example is related to neurotransmitters and thus likely to disturb serotonine levels. 

What if you’re deficient in these vitamins and they cause symptoms as well? Ugh, this is all so frustrating! I have been trying to eat foods rich in these vitamins, is that just as bad? I know salmon, tuna and eggs are high in b12 and I love these!  Also I eat spinach and steak a lot for my iron but my body has absorption issues already so I never get enough.  I’ve reduced carbs/sugar - actually down to no sugar.  I have already lost 30 lbs through this process at least I’m eating better now as well.  

[brassmonkey]

Hi Schmeg82-- I'm sorry to hear that you are having so much trouble, it will get better, but it may take a while. 

 

The things you are feeling are in keeping with a fast taper or CT after a long period of usage. It can be brutal, but things will eventually stabilize and start to improve. Right now, an extended hold is in order. Any reductions would not be a good idea. It's possible that a slight updose may help, but it would be quite risky to try.

 

When you had the eye examinations, did they check for "vitreous detachment"? You are describing symptoms that are very similar to the ones I experienced when that happened to me. However, paxil WD is known to cause eye problems/sensitivity.

 

Acceptance of the situation can go a long way toward reducing the impact of the things you are feeling. There is a technique referred to as AAF that can be quite helpful. Do a site search, there is a lot of information out there.

[Schmeg82]

12 minutes ago, brassmonkey said:

Hi Schmeg82-- I'm sorry to hear that you are having so much trouble, it will get better, but it may take a while. 

 

The things you are feeling are in keeping with a fast taper or CT after a long period of usage. It can be brutal, but things will eventually stabilize and start to improve. Right now, an extended hold is in order. Any reductions would not be a good idea. It's possible that a slight updose may help, but it would be quite risky to try.

 

When you had the eye examinations, did they check for "vitreous detachment"? You are describing symptoms that are very similar to the ones I experienced when that happened to me. However, paxil WD is known to cause eye problems/sensitivity.

 

Acceptance of the situation can go a long way toward reducing the impact of the things you are feeling. There is a technique referred to as AAF that can be quite helpful. Do a site search, there is a lot of information out there.

Hi there and thank you for responding!  I figured my symptoms were from my fast taper after 21 years on the med and then going back up some, I am however afraid to updose anymore, plus I was getting terrible side effects toward the end of Being on the 20mg (headaches, weight gain, weird sensations in head and face) so as far as up dosing I’d rather ride this out then I’ll have less taper as well.  
 

as far as my eyes, I’ve been 4 times in the last 6 months to eye doctors, the only major discovery is that my optic nerves were swollen but we discovered that was due to Drusen which is just calcium under the optic nerve which appears to make it look swollen and I was assured that is not effect my vision issues.  My vision is still 20/20. (Well I’m nearsighted and wear glasses but always have, that prescription barely changed). My eye doctor agreed that this is a processing issues and has to do with my brain and not my eyes.  
 

Some days this is easier to accept than others, it’s been especially hard lately since this month symptoms have gotten significantly worse along with some new and old symptoms popping up, I always think in the back of my mind that there’s some other chronic illness going on with me, but I’m tired of doctors and hospitals and I’m scared they will put me in a ward and drug me more.  
 

again, thank you for responding and I’ll look up the acceptance webpage.  

[Sebas]

49 minutes ago, Schmeg82 said:

What if you’re deficient in these vitamins and they cause symptoms as well? Ugh, this is all so frustrating! I have been trying to eat foods rich in these vitamins, is that just as bad? I know salmon, tuna and eggs are high in b12 and I love these!  Also I eat spinach and steak a lot for my iron but my body has absorption issues already so I never get enough.  I’ve reduced carbs/sugar - actually down to no sugar.  I have already lost 30 lbs through this process at least I’m eating better now as well.  

Tuna, eggs and steak are part of my restricted diet too. Chicken and homemade pancakes as well. Spinach may be tricky for intestines but as long as it goes well it's okay. In general during wd there will be all kinds of deficiencies (physical, cognitive, physiological etc.) though directly related to withdrawal. I believe therefor that strategy should be to pursue stability rather than side effects management. But thats my personal opinion and there may be medical exceptions.

[Schmeg82]

2 minutes ago, Sebas said:

Tuna, eggs and steak are part of my restricted diet too. Chicken and homemade pancakes as well. Spinach may be tricky for intestines but as long as it goes well it's okay. In general during wd there will be all kinds of deficiencies (physical, cognitive, physiological etc.) though directly related to withdrawal. I believe therefor that strategy should be to pursue stability rather than side effects management. But thats my personal opinion and there may be medical exceptions.

I eat a lot of chicken as well, I did well with the squash and zucchini as well, I’m definitely learning in trial and error right now.  This week I have been having major stomach issues if I eat something my body doesn’t agree with so I’m not sure if I have a stomach bug or if this is another WD symptom.  Eggs so far are the only thing that haven’t sent me to the bathroom straight away.  (Sorry if TMI) I tried some pretzels and spinach dip and that was A no go also.  I have had upset stomachs but nothing like this yet.  May have to do plain chicken and get some rice maybe? 

[Schmeg82]

Can anyone help me resize an imagine so I can upload it to my profile picture?  My photoshop is on my computer which is dead and I can’t find a free program to resize a pic.  

[ShantyO7]

On 6/25/2024 at 4:44 PM, Schmeg82 said:

 I’m getting discouraged that I will not heal even though I know I will.

Feeling the same way right now!

[ShantyO7]

16 hours ago, Schmeg82 said:

Some days this is easier to accept than others

So true

[Schmeg82]

I’m struggling today, I need hope, prayers, anything.

 

yesterday I couldn’t even watch TV without getting sick, my eyes can’t focus on anything for a long period of time especially if it’s moving I guess.  TV has made me ill, sometimes my phone will also when my eyes are bad enough, I’ve never had this issue before.  If I don’t eat I feel sick and if I eat I feel sick now, I’m not hungry at all but have to force myself to eat.  I feel like I’ve developed diabetes it’s crazy.  (I’ve had A1C checked multiple times in the last 4 months) 

 

last night I was so anxious and short fused, tossed and turned, felt restless but I can’t do anything because I am so off balance and my vision makes everything move worse then it’s ever been in the 6 months since withdrawal started.  
 

this morning I woke up at 6am I knew animals needed to be fed today so I got up and pushed myself to go feed horses and do barn chores, I was so weak and fatigued but I pushed myself through because I know later in the day it will be hotter and I won’t get it done.  At one point I sat down on our bench in the barn and I just cried and prayed and cried more, I know this isn’t good for my stress levels but I’m just so worn down and broken right now.  I barely made it into the shower at home I almost had to sit in the ground.  I don’t think I’ve had enough water and definitely not which food so I’ve made some eggs and forced myself to eat them:  not feeling any better yet, still struggling.  I’m going to lay down and try and rest and not stress.

 

this is the worst I’ve felt in 6 months I don’t know how much longer I can do this.  There’s no way I can go back to work like this.  

[ShantyO7]

1 hour ago, Schmeg82 said:

I don’t know how much longer I can do this

I feel the same way right now... it's been a pretty crappy few days/nights for me, too... Prayers for us both!

[LostInCanada]

4 hours ago, Schmeg82 said:

his is the worst I’ve felt in 6 months I don’t know how much longer I can do this.  There’s no way I can go back to work like this.  

My symptoms got better significantly by 6 months though I still have waves and windows. I do not understand why you would be getting worse. Do you take a 10 mg size or do you cut a 20 mg in half?

[Schmeg82]

Just now, LostInCanada said:

My symptoms got better significantly by 6 months though I still have waves and windows. I do not understand why you would be getting worse. Do you take a 10 mg size or do you cut a 20 mg in half?

I take 10mg from pharmacy, I do not cut it in half.  I’m wondering the same also, don’t know if this is a bad wave or what.  Or if the med is making me worse.

[LostInCanada]

I think it is good to start planning how you want to taper and get what you need to do it. Do you think you will dry cut, make liquid or buy manufacturer liquid? Liquid takes some time to transition. Either way you need a scale. Also can you apply for disability? 

How many years have you been on paxil? I am 20+. 

[Schmeg82]

4 minutes ago, LostInCanada said:

I think it is good to start planning how you want to taper and get what you need to do it. Do you think you will dry cut, make liquid or buy manufacturer liquid? Liquid takes some time to transition. Either way you need a scale. Also can you apply for disability? 

How many years have you been on paxil? I am 20+. 

21 years to fast taper, I believe I’m in protracted withdrawal, I’m terrified to make any changes at this point being this unstable.  I’m not sure I can get disability, but my husband can support us both for a little bit thank God.  

[LostInCanada]

You don't need to make any changes now. Just start preparing for it. It takes some time to work through what you want to do mentally. The trauma of all this will lessen with knowledge of a plan moving forward. 

14 minutes ago, Schmeg82 said:

I believe I’m in protracted withdrawal

Yes. Not many of us who aren't on here. 

I just don't understand why thinks are getting worse other than poop out or the dose being too high @brassmonkey

[Sebas]

From experience i know there can be hundreds or things messing up your withdrawal. I know cause i have had to rule out that many. Considering you have also been getting windows more often (which is sign of baseline progress) it's probably something that triggers your withdrawal. You may not be aware. You could post a timeline of your daily activities and mention what time you take tour medicine, when you start noticing wd increasing, what you eat and drink, what supplements then we can analyse if there's a certain pattern. We will sort this out eventually.

[Schmeg82]

12 minutes ago, Sebas said:

From experience i know there can be hundreds or things messing up your withdrawal. I know cause i have had to rule out that many. Considering you have also been getting windows more often (which is sign of baseline progress) it's probably something that triggers your withdrawal. You may not be aware. You could post a timeline of your daily activities and mention what time you take tour medicine, when you start noticing wd increasing, what you eat and drink, what supplements then we can analyse if there's a certain pattern. We will sort this out eventually.

I take my medicine every morning at 8:30am, I’ve noticed the last week or so I’ve been extremely weak upon waking up and having morning anxiety (cortisol rushes again) when those had subsided majorly.  My vision has gotten significantly worse the last month, I cannot focus on anything or look around to much and the light sensitivity is extreme now.  I get worse after eating usually because my vision is making me sick to my stomach.  (If that makes sense). Upon waking this morning my vision was bad, I ended up sleeping for 2 hours today because I’m so exhausted.  I feel worse after eating a heavy meal for sure but I also feel bad in the morning on an empty stomach so I’m not sure what’s going on.  All I know is I can’t even watch tv now without feeling sick, like a motion sickness from the tv almost.  Just trying to do small tasks I cannot do anymore without feeling ill and worn down.  I’m twitching more again also, and having slight tremors.  I’m trying to drink plenty of water and no sugar.  I had a tuna sub for lunch today.  I’m laying back down now for a bit.  I’m getting a funny feeling in the back of my head and my ears are ringing more after I eat.  All in all the vision issue is persistent all day every day.

[Schmeg82]

May I add that my pupils are dilating like crazy up and down also, that I’ve noticed.  I believe more so then they should.

[Schmeg82]

4 minutes ago, Schmeg82 said:

May I add that my pupils are dilating like crazy up and down also, that I’ve noticed.  I believe more so then they should.

I am also noticing more frequent heart palpitations and flutters.  Like for 10-20 seconds throughout the day.  And those had stopped for a long long time. 

[Sebas]

20 minutes ago, Schmeg82 said:

I get worse after eating

 

20 minutes ago, Schmeg82 said:

 I feel worse after eating a heavy meal for sure

 

For example what would a heavy meal consist of?

[Schmeg82]

Just now, Sebas said:

 

 

For example what would a heavy meal consist of?

I consider a heavy meal anything with starch - potatoes (last night I had half of a pork chop and a handful of diced potatoes baked in cream of mushroom soup)

 

or like today the tuna sub which was a 6” bread roll.  That’s heavy for me sinve I haven’t been eating much.  

 

but the vison issues stay persistent so eating just exacerbates gi symptoms, gives my nausea something to be sick about I guess.

[Sebas]

28 minutes ago, Schmeg82 said:

May I add that my pupils are dilating like crazy up and down also, that I’ve noticed.  I believe more so then they should.

If your pupils become wider then there has been a trigger shortly before.

[Schmeg82]

Just now, Sebas said:

If your pupils become wider then there has been a trigger shortly before.

They constantly constrict and restrict.  Like they’re constantly moving in and out, without a light source or reaction.  

[ShantyO7]

1 hour ago, LostInCanada said:

My symptoms got better significantly by 6 months

I'm heading into month 5 here so hoping that with reinstating, I will start feeling better soon!

[Schmeg82]

19 minutes ago, ShantyO7 said:

I'm heading into month 5 here so hoping that with reinstating, I will start feeling better soon!

I hope so too for your sake 🙏🏼

[LostInCanada]

43 minutes ago, Schmeg82 said:

cream of mushroom soup)

Most soups have msg which is a huge trigger as are most additives. Sticking to whole foods and making things from scratch are best. If using processed foods, check all ingredients. If you can't pronounce it, don't eat it.

 

43 minutes ago, Schmeg82 said:

tuna sub which was a 6” bread roll

Again sauces and mayo have additives. If eating take out, check all ingredients on the internet.

[Schmeg82]

3 minutes ago, LostInCanada said:

Most soups have msg which is a huge trigger as are most additives. Sticking to whole foods and making things from scratch are best. If using processed foods, check all ingredients. If you can't pronounce it, don't eat it.

 

Again sauces and mayo have additives. If eating take out, check all ingredients on the internet.

Yes you’re right, I did great last week with a roast I made in the crock pot with the red potatoes and carrots also.  I just haven’t been out of bed to cook much today except my morning eggs so I door dashed a subway tuna sub which I usually do fine with.  I’m running out of clean things to eat and need to do another grocery order, my husband unfortunately is a very picky eater and likes processed junk.  

[LostInCanada]

7 minutes ago, Schmeg82 said:

I’m running out of clean things to eat

It's so hard when you feel horrible and just don't want to cook. I haven't ate out in so long. Organic premade stuff doesn't even guarantee additive free.

[Schmeg82]

2 hours ago, LostInCanada said:

I think it is good to start planning how you want to taper and get what you need to do it. Do you think you will dry cut, make liquid or buy manufacturer liquid? Liquid takes some time to transition. Either way you need a scale. Also can you apply for disability? 

How many years have you been on paxil? I am 20+. 

As far as tapering I honestly haven’t thought of it yet, I will probably shave/grind and weigh mine and mix with water when I’m ready as I’ve read horror stories of switching to the liquid. 

[Schmeg82]

2 minutes ago, LostInCanada said:

It's so hard when you feel horrible and just don't want to cook. I haven't ate out in so long. Organic premade stuff doesn't even guarantee additive free.

That’s the problem, I’m not feeling well so I haven’t been motivated to do anything unless I absolutely have to.  I have some zucchini and squash I need to cut up and cook soon before it goes bad.  I have bags of steam fresh vegetables and some frozen healthy choice meals in the freezer that have been getting me by, I know they’re not the best for me but it’s so easy to throw in the microwave and eat.  I’m alone 85% the day so have no one to help me right now.  

[LostInCanada]

I found some frozen veggie lasagna, some mac and cheese and rotisserie chicken at our local grocery without additives. Also the M&Ms chicken strips work for me. I make big batches of chicken soup, veggie soup, beef stew etc and freeze them. My hubby is definitely not handy in the kitchen. He can make eggs and toast. 

[Schmeg82]

5 minutes ago, LostInCanada said:

I found some frozen veggie lasagna, some mac and cheese and rotisserie chicken at our local grocery without additives. Also the M&Ms chicken strips work for me. I make big batches of chicken soup, veggie soup, beef stew etc and freeze them. My hubby is definitely not handy in the kitchen. He can make eggs and toast. 

I’m sure we don’t have the same brands down here, I’m in Florida but I’ll start looking online at the labels, I do well with the healthy choice brand usually.  I’m not a big red sauce fan, I get heartburn easy unfortunately.  Have had that issue a long time.  I love beef stew, I make chili and freeze it as well.  I’m good with plain old chicken breast and veggies.  I love rotisserie’s as well.  

[Sebas]

54 minutes ago, Schmeg82 said:

my husband unfortunately is a very picky eater and likes processed junk.  

3 out of 7 days my GF and I eat seperately, I have to stick to a strict weekly diet. @LostInCanada was spot on about checking ingredients, avoiding sauces, creams, processed foods and herbs like mayo. Besides these subs have powerful seeds which can be really tricky. There is a lot to win by changing your diet. The cleaner the better.

[LostInCanada]

1 minute ago, Schmeg82 said:

I love beef stew, I make chili

If you add some baking soda to the tomato it helps with the heartburn too. I cannot do spice any more either. I get reflux but it also can be a trigger.