mtmalaka: Hello! Tapering from Zoloft 12mg to zero - need some advice

[mtmalaka]

@LotusRising yes the insomnia and sleep disturbances are better after a few days post dosage drop.

 

Same thing happened with the 0.125mg drop. Couple days of insomnia, sleep disturbances, floatiness and agitation then resolved a bit. 

 

Listening to my body, I need to go a bit slower with the taper I think. 

[mtmalaka]

@LotusRising last night I had the worst bout of insomnia yet. That tells me that my body has yet to stabilized at the 0.125mg as I previously thought. I can't explain it entirely, although I feel like my body is craving the Ativan. I can't sleep and I feel an internal buzzing and tenseness.

 

I'm wondering if I should push through this spell or updose to find relief? Going up in dose seems to be a trap that will take a long time to crawl out of. 

[LotusRising]

30 minutes ago, mtmalaka said:

Going up in dose seems to be a trap that will take a long time to crawl out of. 

I can't tell you what to do here, but yes, it is somewhat of a trap. Any time you go up, you will need to come back down. If you can get through it without updosing, that would be ideal. If your insomnia settled between reductions last time, it should do the same this time as well.

[mtmalaka]

It did settle, for a night. However came back with a vegence. Pushing through with hopes for a better night tonight. 

[mtmalaka]

I caved and updose to 0.50mg - the taper was waaay to fast, even for the short use time. My body almostly immediately formed a depenancy. 

 

I could start to feel the withdrawal effects in my body from the short taper while in bed. Shaking, trembling and sleep disturbances. It was building up and delayed. 

 

Going to restart the taper at 0.50 using Ashton Manual. I hate to think I'd have to slow taper after 3 weeks of use but so it goes. 

[LotusRising]

@mtmalaka

 

Shoot, I'm sorry to hear that. 

 

Some find the Ashton too quick, so be sure to listen to your body.

[mtmalaka]

Hello @LotusRising @Emonda

 

Quick recap of my situation as it stands: 

 

06/04 - Went into protracted withdrawal from 3 months taper of Zoloft. - Reinstated with 12.5mg 

06/04 - Began 1mg of Ativan per day to help with panic / anxiety. 

06/21 - Began fast taper of Ativan (50% drop every 5 days)

07/04 - Suffered acute withdrawal symptoms from Ativan (insomnia, agitation) - had to up dose to 0.5mg

 

In summary, the reinstation of the Zoloft did work and seems to be leveling out the withdrawal after 30 days. Panic and terror have subsided but still in withdrawal and not exactly stabilized yet. However I am now in a bind since I am now physically dependent on the Ativan for sleep only after a few weeks of use as the fast taper did not work out as planned. I have accepted that fact that I am now dependent and will need to stay on the medication to stabilize, then slow taper going forward.

 

So here is my dilemma: My original plan to reinstate the Zoloft, stabilize, then slow taper has been delayed by this sudden dependency to Ativan. My plan NOW is to hold for a few weeks then slow taper the Ativan.... then worry about the Zoloft, which seems to be benign at this stage, merely staving off further withdrawal. However, I am a bit untrustworthy of myself now that I have made this seemingly dire mistake with the Ativan. I am looking for some insight here as I am scared that I have found myself in a pickle. Anyone else here who found themselves in this situation and gotten out? 

 

 

[LotusRising]

@mtmalaka

 

Once you're stabilized, you might try making smaller reductions of the ativan. It's still possible that you could get away with a quicker taper. I would hate to see you on it longer than you need be.

 

Are you certain you will have access to a longer-term prescription for the ativan?

[mtmalaka]

@LotusRising

 

Thanks for taking the time out to respond on a Sunday. I hope I can execute a quicker taper than the Ashton rate, but I'm having some trepidation now about tapering too quickly since the insomnia a few days ago. 

 

Also, I read your story recently here in SA. Our medicine predicament story overlaps a bit. We both took benzos to mask a AD withdrawal.... I feel confident that you are somewhat in my corner here : ) 

 

Yes I should have enough Ativan to do a taper...my doctor is fully aware of the situation. He got me here by all means! 

 

 

[LotusRising]

On 7/7/2024 at 8:27 PM, mtmalaka said:

We both took benzos to mask a AD withdrawal.... I feel confident that you are somewhat in my corner here : ) 

Yes, I'm absolutely in your corner here. 

 

On 7/7/2024 at 8:27 PM, mtmalaka said:

Yes I should have enough Ativan to do a taper...my doctor is fully aware of the situation. He got me here by all means! 

This is great to hear! Some get you into the situation and then cut you off, which is why I was asking. 

 

How are you doing the last couple days? 

[mtmalaka]

@LotusRising

 

I'm stabilized on 0.5mg Ativan at night. The Zoloft situation is on the backburner until I deal with the Ativan. 

 

I'm working with a tapering coach now so I have some solid guidence. I'm going to hold at 0.5mg for another few weeks until my system is further stabilized, then do a liquid micro taper down using a compounding liquid. 

 

Again, I'm shocked that I'm in this position with the ativan after just a few weeks of use with a fast taper. But the micro taper plan sounds best since it avoids hard crashes, like I had recently as a result of the fast taper. 

 

This means I'm on it for longer but there's not much I can do now without suffering an acute Ativan withdrawal on top of a pre existing Zoloft withdrawal. 

 

Would appreciate your thoughts! 

[Emonda]

1 hour ago, mtmalaka said:

Again, I'm shocked that I'm in this position with the ativan after just a few weeks of use

 

Hindsight is wonderful. I've learnt plenty of lessons on this journey the hard way...we all have.

 

I'm so glad LotusRising has been able to assist with the Ativan side of things.

 

You're going to get past this. You have a great attitude.

[LotusRising]

1 hour ago, mtmalaka said:

I'm working with a tapering coach now so I have some solid guidence. I'm going to hold at 0.5mg for another few weeks until my system is further stabilized, then do a liquid micro taper down using a compounding liquid.

Great, sounds like the tapering coach is of the same mindset! 

[mtmalaka]

21 minutes ago, Emonda said:

 

Hindsight is wonderful. I've learnt plenty of lessons on this journey the hard way...we all have.

 

I'm so glad LotusRising has been able to assist with the Ativan side of things.

 

You're going to get past this. You have a great attitude.

I hope so. When this first started I thought I had a clear trajectory with only the Zoloft reinstatement, then taper. Unfortunately the Ativan situation has made this much more of murky a situation . 

[mtmalaka]

My current symptom, which seems it be the most disturbing during this journey is what others have referred to as 'toxic sleep'. As soon as my body nods to sleep, I am awoken by a sudden rush of adrenaline / fear that sticks around for maybe 5-10 minutes. This happens everytime. Some nights I am able to sleep through it but it's certainly disturbing when I can't. It's the leading cause of my insomnia issues. 

 

Anyone else deal or have dealt with this? 

 

[LotusRising]

13 hours ago, mtmalaka said:

Anyone else deal or have dealt with this?

I had this. It was like my body couldn't shift into a parasympathetic state. Have you tried yoga nidra? Insight timer is a free app that has guided meditations. When I couldn't sleep, I just listened. My sleep did take quite a while to improve, but I don't get this anymore and haven't for a very long time.

[mtmalaka]

Yes, I've tried all of the meditations for sleep. They do help relax but my nervous system seems to have other plans

 

I feel like I unlocked a new symptom during my Ativan rapid taper. This began when I first went down to 0.25mg - hoping it let's up now that I am holding. 

 

[Frogie]

@mtmalaka

 

I'm not on much right now, but I'd like to give you some advice, if you don't mind? I went through a Xanax taper that went wrong. I reinstated and held for a year before trying to taper off again.

 

Since you have only been on the Ativan since 6/4, you have made 4 really fast changes. That is extremely fast. 

 

My suggestion would be please hold on the 0.50mg for a good for at least a few months to allow your CNS to calm down. I would not recommend tapering Ativan until you are completely tapered off the Zoloft. 

 

Withdrawal Normal Description

 

 Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

 

Keep It Simple, Slow, and Stable

 

 

 

I just want to make sure that you stabilize and hold before you begin to try to taper again.

 

 

Edited August 12 by Frogie

[mtmalaka]

Hi @Frogie

 

Thanks for the advice. Can you expand a bit on how your Xanax taper went wrong? 

 

I am holding my Ativan dose at 0.5mg atleast for another month or so, maybe longer. Then I'll do a micro taper which hopefully should sneak me off the drug. Also working with Dr. G to help me through this. I hope I have all my bases covered. 

 

I've spoken to many experts at this stage. Most have suggested to increase my zoloft THEN taper the Ativan. I know that's counter to what is reccomended here on the SA community. That being said, I don't plan on increasing my Zoloft as I feel I'm stabilizing but that's in my back pocket if I need it. Also I don't plan on tapering the Zoloft for quite a while either. I may hold for a year or more and then do a very slow taper when I feel I'm ready. This could be a multi year process. If I tapered the Ativan AFTER the SSRI, that puts me on the Ativan for multiple years, needlessly. 

 

Also I think because of my short term Ativan use, I'd like to come off that first, and Franky it's not doing much for me especially at this low dosage.

 

Since you're a veteran here, I would ask, do you think I'm at an advantage due to my short term use to avoid any complications with tapering? Even if I hold for a while longer before I begin? Say a couple more months? 

 

Appreciate your insight. 

 

 

 

[LotusRising]

@mtmalaka

 

Just wanted to check in to see how you're doing?

[mtmalaka]

hey @LotusRising thanks for checking in! 

 

I am currently still holding. I don't plan to taper the Zoloft any time soon and will be working with Dr. G to taper off the Ativan first. Holding has proven to be worthwhile as I am stabilizing. I have a ways to go still (primarily still healing from the initial Zoloft crash even with the reinstatement). It's been 3 months since the crash and if I continue at this 12.5mg reinstatement dosage it could be a few more months before I am anywhere near baseline. 

 

I am fairly trepidatious to make any changes anytime soon but I feel I will need to start the Ativan taper sooner than later, but that could mean another month or more of holding and stabilizing. Despite wanting to be off the benzo ASAP, holding seems to be the key.

 

[LotusRising]

2 hours ago, mtmalaka said:

 

I am currently still holding.

Good to hear! I think this is definitely a wise decision given your situation. And I love that you're continuing to work with Dr. G. Sounds like you're doing all the right things