ScaredDad: Lexapro Reinstatement Help

[LotusRising]

10 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

I want to echo when I say relief I mean like I’m 30% me. I’m 0% me or even human in the morning. 

Ok, yes, I think I understand. 

 

I think it'll be good to see if your somewhat standard pattern stays the same as you hold. I would keep writing down and rating your symptoms with time of day.

 

When do you meet up with your care team?

 

[ScaredDad]

2 minutes ago, LotusRising said:

Ok, yes, I think I understand. 

 

I think it'll be good to see if your somewhat standard pattern stays the same as you hold. I would keep writing down and rating your symptoms with time of day.

 

When do you meet up with your care team?

 

thanks @LotusRisingand tomorrow and Wednesday if I need. I’m just holding. This groups input is just SO valuable to me post me making the errors early on. I’ll track symptoms.

[agtaylor]

@ScaredDad I just wanted to say hi and that I can relate to your experience completely. I read through your whole thread and am so sorry you’re going through this too. I’m also a parent to young children (2 and 6). I definitely think making a choice and sticking with it is for the best, but in my personal experience, I had symptoms like yours after trying to reinstate and not being able to tolerate the drug anymore. The hardest part in all this is not having any clear path of what to do. Sending your virtual hugs because this is so so hard. 

[ScaredDad]

2 minutes ago, agtaylor said:

@ScaredDad I just wanted to say hi and that I can relate to your experience completely. I read through your whole thread and am so sorry you’re going through this too. I’m also a parent to young children (2 and 6). I definitely think making a choice and sticking with it is for the best, but in my personal experience, I had symptoms like yours after trying to reinstate and not being able to tolerate the drug anymore. The hardest part in all this is not having any clear path of what to do. Sending your virtual hugs because this is so so hard. 

This message means so so much to me. How have you been lately? 

[agtaylor]

@ScaredDad I’m doing a lot better than when I first posted a little over 5 months ago. I definitely still have symptoms - mainly dizziness, visual disturbances, anxiety, depression and DP/DR, but a lot of things have gotten better. I’m able to sleep again and don’t feel on edge (akathisia maybe) all the time. I still have waves daily with my emotions, but I’m starting to see the windows more frequently and the waves don’t last as long or pull me as deep as they used to. 

[ScaredDad]

26 minutes ago, agtaylor said:

@ScaredDad I’m doing a lot better than when I first posted a little over 5 months ago. I definitely still have symptoms - mainly dizziness, visual disturbances, anxiety, depression and DP/DR, but a lot of things have gotten better. I’m able to sleep again and don’t feel on edge (akathisia maybe) all the time. I still have waves daily with my emotions, but I’m starting to see the windows more frequently and the waves don’t last as long or pull me as deep as they used to. 

That is just amazing! I’m so happy you’re progressing and gives me hope. Did you ever have the chemical anxiety where you legit cannot slow down your heart rate? That’s my biggest fear if I had to come down or off. My heart has been stabilized a bit. But when I was in full withdrawal I’m telling you I could be watching tv with 130bpm and nothing in the world could slow it down. Like heart attack level. I’m not miserable now but for different reasons and don’t know how bad my withdrwaaal was going to get.

 

 

[ScaredDad]

Hey everyone quick q and I’m hoping maybe I’ve found something that can give me enough relief to start calming down my system. How important is a meal at dose for you? I typically take it with a banana max in my stomach. Today I ate 3 eggs about 45 before I took it and I reacted a little bit MUCH less from yesterday. Could just be the day idk but thinking logically if I eat 3 eggs and some sausage right when I take the dose it should slow absorption which may be my problem right now.

[LostInCanada]

6 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

slow absorption

Some do better taking their drug with food. Hey if it works that is awesome. 

I was just reading about liquid lexapro. Do you always shake it really well before extracting your dose? Make sure to. 👍

[ScaredDad]

3 minutes ago, LostInCanada said:

Some do better taking their drug with food. Hey if it works that is awesome. 

I was just reading about liquid lexapro. Do you always shake it really well before extracting your dose? Make sure to. 👍

….. nope. Will for sure do that now. I’m going to focus on making sure I eat well right before I dose. I think there may be something to it.

[Tweed9674]

Taking it with food doesn't change anything for me... but it's just me. It's worth a try.

 

I hope that you start feeling better soon!!

[LostInCanada]

This is what I found: 

...If you are using the oral liquid, shake the bottle well before measuring each dose. Use a marked measuring spoon, oral syringe, or medicine cup to measure each dose.

https://www.mayoclinic.org › drg-...

Escitalopram (Oral Route) Proper Use - Mayo Clinic

 

[ScaredDad]

@LostInCanada I know I’ve talked about this a little but I just want to tell you how much this means to me. The mods, you always giving sound advice, @Catwoman73 and @Tweed9674 who have been here so early on supporting me with advice and encouragement and the new followers who are wishing well. This is just crazy. Y’all are so nice! Everyone is in this and still supporting people. 
 

you are sitting there at home dealing with your own problems while supporting multiple people on here and looking up my medication in mayo. It’s just profound how much that means to me and says a lot about you as a person. Yall are the good ones. We’ve found each other in hell but yall are the good ones.

Edited May 21 by ScaredDad
Updated

[LostInCanada]

21 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

We’ve found each other in hell but yall are the good ones.

Thanks @ScaredDad 

This trauma sure binds us together. 💯

[Catwoman73]

55 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

Hey everyone quick q and I’m hoping maybe I’ve found something that can give me enough relief to start calming down my system. How important is a meal at dose for you? I typically take it with a banana max in my stomach. Today I ate 3 eggs about 45 before I took it and I reacted a little bit MUCH less from yesterday. Could just be the day idk but thinking logically if I eat 3 eggs and some sausage right when I take the dose it should slow absorption which may be my problem right now.

My stomach has always been quite sensitive to meds, so I've always taken EVERYTHiNG with food, unless there is a specific reason not to.  So I don't really know, but what you say does make sense.  Bananas are fairly high glycemic index, particularly when they're really ripe, so maybe the combination of the sugar rush and the meds is just an evil one for you.  Protein and fats before you take it might just be the way to go.  I'm so glad you're having a better day so far- I hope it stays that way!!!

 

20 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

@LostInCanada I know I’ve talked about this a little but I just want to tell you how much this means to me. The mods, you always giving sound advice, @Catwoman73 and @Tweed9674 who have been here so early on supporting me with advice and encouragement and the new followers who are wishing well. This is just crazy. Y’all are so nice! Everyone is in this and still supporting people. 
 

you are sitting there at home dealing with your own problems while supporting multiple people on here and looking up my medication in mayo. It’s just profound how much that means to me and says a lot about you as a person. Yall are the good ones. We’ve found each other in hell but yall are the good ones.

I'm just glad we can help, even a little bit. ❤️

[agtaylor]

3 hours ago, ScaredDad said:

That is just amazing! I’m so happy you’re progressing and gives me hope. Did you ever have the chemical anxiety where you legit cannot slow down your heart rate? That’s my biggest fear if I had to come down or off. My heart has been stabilized a bit. But when I was in full withdrawal I’m telling you I could be watching tv with 130bpm and nothing in the world could slow it down. Like heart attack level. I’m not miserable now but for different reasons and don’t know how bad my withdrwaaal was going to get.

 

 

Yes, a couple days after stopping my last dose CT my heart rate was in the 130s when I was walking around. At the time, I had a diagnosis of POTS and thought the Lexapro had just triggered a flare. I was put on Propranolol. I followed up with my specialist. She did new testing and I actually came off my propranolol for the tests. Turns out I don’t even have POTS anymore. The high HR was probably just withdrawal… but being on a beta blocker really helped. I still take it now to ease my anxiety/akathisia. I’ll eventually come off of it, but for now I’ll use it until my nervous system stabilizes more. 

[ScaredDad]

@agtaylorhey if it’s helping why not right! I just don’t know if my body can handle it.

[ScaredDad]

Question for everyone. With my clear history of alcohol and benzo use (I only took the benzos 1-2 week max with many weeks of none, but I drank 3-4 a week) I clearly hurt my gaba system. Do you guys think while I hold, for however long that is, that my gaba system is repairing? Is there any reason to believe the ssri would block that? I know serotonin modulates gaba but the system could still repair from years of gabagenic abuse with alcohol and stuff right? I’m wondering if that also plays into why this has been so bad - well not wondering I know it does.

[Catwoman73]

17 hours ago, ScaredDad said:

Question for everyone. With my clear history of alcohol and benzo use (I only took the benzos 1-2 week max with many weeks of none, but I drank 3-4 a week) I clearly hurt my gaba system. Do you guys think while I hold, for however long that is, that my gaba system is repairing? Is there any reason to believe the ssri would block that? I know serotonin modulates gaba but the system could still repair from years of gabagenic abuse with alcohol and stuff right? I’m wondering if that also plays into why this has been so bad - well not wondering I know it does.

I have absolutely no idea lol, but I do know that we have a tremendous capacity to heal.  Working in the ICU for as along as I did, I've seen some crazy stuff.  People that I thought for sure would never walk out of the unit alive went on to have almost completely normal lives.  Humans are wired to heal- you have to work really hard not to.  So, will your gaba system heal?  I do believe it will... when and how is another question altogether than I really can't answer.

 

So... did you have eggs again this morning?  How are you feeling?

[ScaredDad]

@Catwoman73I had the worst night on record starting at 9. Just awful. Awful morning screaming into my pillow wondering if this is it until I ate eggs and dosed. Idk if I feel a change I’ve been in a black room under covers the whole time I feel awful. I mean full body pain and screaming mental anguish with nerve pain. 

[Catwoman73]

25 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

@Catwoman73I had the worst night on record starting at 9. Just awful. Awful morning screaming into my pillow wondering if this is it until I ate eggs and dosed. Idk if I feel a change I’ve been in a black room under covers the whole time I feel awful. I mean full body pain and screaming mental anguish with nerve pain. 

Oh no... I'm so sorry you're suffering.  But yesterday was pretty good... maybe it was a window that would have happened regardless of diet- like, a longer window than you've had to date?  If so, that's a really good sign.  I know nothing feels good right now, but that does sound like improvement to me.  Just hold on @ScaredDad- keep holding on.  You can do this.  Keep reminding yourself that yesterday happened... and there will be more days like that.  Sending all my strength your way today, and praying for some relief for you as the day progresses. ❤️

[Bailey]

Praying for asap relief, @ScaredDad.

[Bailey]

49 minutes ago, Catwoman73 said:

I have absolutely no idea lol, but I do know that we have a tremendous capacity to heal.  Working in the ICU for as along as I did, I've seen some crazy stuff.  People that I thought for sure would never walk out of the unit alive went on to have almost completely normal lives.  Humans are wired to heal- you have to work really hard not to.  

So incredibly encouraging @Catwoman73

[ScaredDad]

@Catwoman73

@Baileythanks guys really.

 

question for yall and everyone else @LostInCanada @LotusRising  @Emonda

 

i had a better day yesterday like I said but then SHUT DOWN and had an epic flair of symptoms at 9. Main one is what I call the Soul Grip for my note purposes. It’s like hot nerves, pressure, and tight skin that extends from my neck around my head, face and shoulders. This always comes with severe anxiety, doom, & fear that leads to SI intrusives and usually happens at night. Past three of four days I’ve had no SI anywhere near dose. Monday was the only one. I went 27 hours with no SI recently which is the first I can remember of that in a long time. 
 

is it safe to say that my symptom spike last night at 9pm is not dosing or the medication considering it’s 12 hours after and is a sign of general WD and destabilization? I do think my dosing reaction may be normalizing a smidge. Today all I had was increased urination. I feel marginally better than I did pre dose. Not a ton, but marginal.

 

i hope you all can follow that.

[LostInCanada]

@ScaredDad hopefully this is all starting to normalize. I am a little concerned that by not shaking the liquid you might have been getting a stronger dose. The next couple days will give us a better idea I think. 👍

[LotusRising]

On 5/21/2024 at 2:16 PM, ScaredDad said:

Do you guys think while I hold, for however long that is, that my gaba system is repairing? Is there any reason to believe the ssri would block that?

@ScaredDad I don't believe there's any reason to believe the SSRI would block that. Your body/nervous system is always trying to regulate back to homeostasis. There are many people on both benzos and SSRI's that go on to recover. 

 

It does sound like you might be starting to stabilize a bit, so this is good  

 

 

[Catwoman73]

How are things today, @ScaredDad???

[ScaredDad]

@Catwoman73thanks for checking! Should’ve posted. I mean things are things ya know. If someone else felt like me they’d call 911 but to be honest the last three day excluding the nightmare that was Tuesday night have been marginally better than usual. Again, awful. But less awful. Praying every minute it keeps that way.

[Catwoman73]

2 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

@Catwoman73thanks for checking! Should’ve posted. I mean things are things ya know. If someone else felt like me they’d call 911 but to be honest the last three day excluding the nightmare that was Tuesday night have been marginally better than usual. Again, awful. But less awful. Praying every minute it keeps that way.

Oh I'm so glad to hear things are less awful!  I hoped that not hearing from you was a good sign, not a bad one.  Treat yourself kindly- don't overdo it, just because you have had some improvement.  If long covid has taught me anything, it's that lol!  I'm still terrible at pacing myself, but when I get it right, life is much more pleasant!  I'm looking forward to more positive updates!

[ScaredDad]

3 minutes ago, Catwoman73 said:

Oh I'm so glad to hear things are less awful!  I hoped that not hearing from you was a good sign, not a bad one.  Treat yourself kindly- don't overdo it, just because you have had some improvement.  If long covid has taught me anything, it's that lol!  I'm still terrible at pacing myself, but when I get it right, life is much more pleasant!  I'm looking forward to more positive updates!

I’ve had that problem in the past so watching out for it. I’m still awful, can’t work, really limited and super insomnia with viscous anxiety. I mean duh it’s a slight one day improvement I don’t want to get ahead of myself because I’ll be sad if I go backwards. But it really is an hour at a time for me. Just gonna keep holding. Only 8 days here so far.

 

means a lot to hear from you! Are you doing ok today??

[Catwoman73]

Just now, ScaredDad said:

I’ve had that problem in the past so watching out for it. I’m still awful, can’t work, really limited and super insomnia with viscous anxiety. But it really is an hour at a time for me. Just gonna keep holding. Only 8 days here so far.

 

means a lot to hear from you! Are you doing ok today??

Thanks for asking... I had a dress rehearsal for our year end dance recital last night that sent me off the edge- shaking, crying lots, chest pain, dizziness, severe pain throughout my body, and of course, insomnia.  I spent the day today poolside/floating in the water though, probably getting thoroughly sunburned, listening to the wind in the trees, and soaking my painful legs in the water.  I'm feeling much better.  For me, nature and rest are the best medicine!  Our show is in two weeks- it can't come soon enough.  Agreeing to participate was not my best decision ever, but I think when I agreed to it, I was still thoroughly convinced that recovery was just around the corner.  I'm a bit more realistic now.

 

Just keep taking things an hour at a time- that's the best way through anything this challenging.  Don't worry about anything but taking care of you!  Work can wait... get back all the really important stuff first- spending time with family, beloved hobbies, etc.  There's nothing like a crisis to teach us what's important!!!

[ScaredDad]

@Catwoman73oh man I’m so sorry to hear that! I think it is great you are so involved but yes we have to pace ourselves big time these days. Im so glad to hear you can do that with the pool and everything. I agree with nature, it’s returning your body to the environment it was made for. It’s the best medicine. Should’ve been my prescription before all this!

[Catwoman73]

6 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

Should’ve been my prescription before all this!

I couldn't agree more!!!

[LostInCanada]

47 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

returning your body to the environment it was made for. It’s the best medicine. Should’ve been my prescription before all this!

Amen!

[AAOffZ]

@ScaredDad praying for you whenever I think of you, Trey. Hang in there, we are all here for you. 
 

For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock.

-Psalm 27:5

[ScaredDad]

1 hour ago, AAOffZ said:

@ScaredDad praying for you whenever I think of you, Trey. Hang in there, we are all here for you. 
 

For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock.

-Psalm 27:5

I am for you as well! Thanks for sharing this, I’m trying to gather my favorites

[ScaredDad]

Back in the thick of it team