LostInCanada Posted May 27 Share Posted May 27 Maybe this can help: Very last post in this section by Ariel today. Sorry it didn't post correctly 😕 1 I am not a medical professional. My comments are based on my personal experience and information on this site. 2016-twice weekly for a couple months-oxazepam 10 mg sleep/ 2020-22-once a week 3.75-7.5 mg for sleep/20 yr+ Paroxetine/ Dec2018-May 2022 20 mg/ May 2022 30mg/2022.07.28-2022.08.24 30mg to 0mg/ August 24-29 2022 10mg Prozac/2022.11.28-2022.12.04- 5mg Paroxetine/Dec 5&6/22 10mg Paroxetine/ Dec 8&9/22 10mg Prozac/ 2022.12.07 to 2023.07.01 5mg Paroxetine TAPER 23.07.02-58mgpw/4.9mgai/ 23.07.21-4.8 mg/23.07.28-4.73 mg/23.08.04-4.65 mg/21.09.23-4.58 mg/27.10.23-4.56 mg/5.12.23-4.54 mg/2.1.24-4.52 mg/9.1.24-4.51 mg/17.1.24-4.49 mg/26.1.24-4.47 mg/6.2.24-4.46 mg/19.2.24-4.44mg /4.4.24-4.43mg/28.4.24-4.4mg/5.5.24-4.39 mg/19.5.24-4.36 mg/2.7.24-4.34 mg/9.7.24-4.32 mg/7.31.24-4.3 mg 8am-probiotics/9am-paroxetine, 200mg mag bisglycinate/ 1000mg Vitamin D/5pm-75 mg DGL/200mg calcium citrate/0.25 mcg melatonin nightly "... your strength will be in keeping calm..."-Isaiah 30:15 Link to comment
Administrator Emonda Posted May 28 Administrator Share Posted May 28 Hi @ScaredDad, I think we are like ships passing in the night...you wake up as I go to bed. I hope the day has improved for you. I look forward to hearing how you get on with Dr H tomorrow. Please don't send me PMs. I am not a doctor. My comments are based on my personal experience with ADs and tapering. Consult your doctor about your own medical decisions. Start of taper: Jan ’22 Vortioxetine 15mg, End year 1: 4.5mg, End year 2: 2.38mg, Year 3: 8 Feb 2.19mg, 21 Mar 1.99mg, 2 May 1.83mg, 13 Jun 1.69mg, 25 Jul 1.50mg, 14 Aug 1.46mg, 3 Sep 1.43mg, 10 Sep 1.40mg, 17 Sep 1.37mg Link to comment
ScaredDad Posted May 28 Author Share Posted May 28 @Emonda it seems that is the case. Yesterday was like the worst day on record for me but I just don’t understand some things. I was basically laid out in the driveway thinking it was over and an hour later I had the a head clearing that I get most nights after 5 that lasted until like 8. Symptoms still there but just out of nowhere dialed back. Why does this only happen in the evening? Is this related to the dosing? I’m not sure because the symptoms come back when I close my eyes so it’s not like the drug is reintroduced. I usually do get relief at 5 or later but it honestly used to be like 2 or later. I’m just so confused. It’s like day 12 or 13 on this dose so I’m just gonna have to keep pushing I guess. Im laying here at 8am on the couch, haven’t dosed yet, one of the better mornings in a long time and I can feel my symptoms coming in. Idk if my dose makes them worse or what this is so confusing. I always wondered why my coaches said it’s really hard to know what is causing what. It freaking is! I got better after dosing two or three times last week. intermittent klonopin 0.5mg this whole time. Never ever felt addicted. Probably averaged 1 a week the entirety of this. Last dose ~April 21, 2024 July 2018 - lexapro 10mg October 2018 - Lexapro 15mg November 2018 - July 2022 - various lexapro doses ended at 2.5mg August 2022 - life events and then strange symptoms lead to increase to 15mg - although I now know this was the start of withdrawal. Stabilize on 15mg in November. April 2023 - September 2023 taper down on an unregulated basis and stop in September. Feel great until December 2023 when drinking alcohol several times destabilized me. January 2024 Reinstate 5mg and taper to 10mg (feel ok but still not sleeping great and weird nerve sensations, convince myself it’s the pill) February 10 2024 - April 2024 - taper to zero where I spent a week and half before cratering and reinstated on April 21 at 2.5mg using 1/4 pill for 2 days (this provided relief instantly but to me at the time it wasn’t enough), increased on April 23 to 10mg per doctor accompanied with bad activation symptoms and suicidal ideation April 28 - emergency reduction directly to 1.00mg, May 2 increase per new doctor - to 2.50mg, switch to manufacturer liquid on May 4, May 13 - 2.45, May 14 - 2.40, May 15 - 2.40, May 16 - 2.30. Begin slide down for activation relief (MM/DD) 2024 -> 06/20: 2.26mg Link to comment
ScaredDad Posted May 28 Author Share Posted May 28 Took dose at 830 and now have screaming anxiety, tinnitus, and hyping jerks laying in bed… I mean it has been an hour and 10 minutes. Is this for real? Is the dose hitting me like that or is this too fast or what? an hour ago I was so confident in holding and trying everything I could to prove to myself it’s not all the dose 1 intermittent klonopin 0.5mg this whole time. Never ever felt addicted. Probably averaged 1 a week the entirety of this. Last dose ~April 21, 2024 July 2018 - lexapro 10mg October 2018 - Lexapro 15mg November 2018 - July 2022 - various lexapro doses ended at 2.5mg August 2022 - life events and then strange symptoms lead to increase to 15mg - although I now know this was the start of withdrawal. Stabilize on 15mg in November. April 2023 - September 2023 taper down on an unregulated basis and stop in September. Feel great until December 2023 when drinking alcohol several times destabilized me. January 2024 Reinstate 5mg and taper to 10mg (feel ok but still not sleeping great and weird nerve sensations, convince myself it’s the pill) February 10 2024 - April 2024 - taper to zero where I spent a week and half before cratering and reinstated on April 21 at 2.5mg using 1/4 pill for 2 days (this provided relief instantly but to me at the time it wasn’t enough), increased on April 23 to 10mg per doctor accompanied with bad activation symptoms and suicidal ideation April 28 - emergency reduction directly to 1.00mg, May 2 increase per new doctor - to 2.50mg, switch to manufacturer liquid on May 4, May 13 - 2.45, May 14 - 2.40, May 15 - 2.40, May 16 - 2.30. Begin slide down for activation relief (MM/DD) 2024 -> 06/20: 2.26mg Link to comment
ScaredDad Posted May 28 Author Share Posted May 28 @Addax I read your story and was hoping you could share with me. You mentioned for a while you felt worse after taking your Prozac but that improved for you over time? intermittent klonopin 0.5mg this whole time. Never ever felt addicted. Probably averaged 1 a week the entirety of this. Last dose ~April 21, 2024 July 2018 - lexapro 10mg October 2018 - Lexapro 15mg November 2018 - July 2022 - various lexapro doses ended at 2.5mg August 2022 - life events and then strange symptoms lead to increase to 15mg - although I now know this was the start of withdrawal. Stabilize on 15mg in November. April 2023 - September 2023 taper down on an unregulated basis and stop in September. Feel great until December 2023 when drinking alcohol several times destabilized me. January 2024 Reinstate 5mg and taper to 10mg (feel ok but still not sleeping great and weird nerve sensations, convince myself it’s the pill) February 10 2024 - April 2024 - taper to zero where I spent a week and half before cratering and reinstated on April 21 at 2.5mg using 1/4 pill for 2 days (this provided relief instantly but to me at the time it wasn’t enough), increased on April 23 to 10mg per doctor accompanied with bad activation symptoms and suicidal ideation April 28 - emergency reduction directly to 1.00mg, May 2 increase per new doctor - to 2.50mg, switch to manufacturer liquid on May 4, May 13 - 2.45, May 14 - 2.40, May 15 - 2.40, May 16 - 2.30. Begin slide down for activation relief (MM/DD) 2024 -> 06/20: 2.26mg Link to comment
ScaredDad Posted May 28 Author Share Posted May 28 Sorry for being so active I’m just blowing steam in here. I do at least know if my care team in the FUTURE decided I was best coming off I’d do it as slow as I could tolerate. Here is the best explanation I’ve ever read in terms of explaining it to myself to stay on written by @JanCarol “A CT is like a plunge off of a cliff, that takes 4-6 months to reach bottom, or more. Falling through the air can be exhilarating, but the landing is often harder than you expect, and it becomes difficult to rebuild and heal, after that crash. Reinstatement is like a bungy cord that catches you, holds you from that bottom, that crash. You still bounce and thrash, but have the potential to become still - and be whole - and not hit the bottom and shatter into a zillion pieces. When you become still (what we call stabilizing) - then you can lower yourself down the rest of the way.” 2 intermittent klonopin 0.5mg this whole time. Never ever felt addicted. Probably averaged 1 a week the entirety of this. Last dose ~April 21, 2024 July 2018 - lexapro 10mg October 2018 - Lexapro 15mg November 2018 - July 2022 - various lexapro doses ended at 2.5mg August 2022 - life events and then strange symptoms lead to increase to 15mg - although I now know this was the start of withdrawal. Stabilize on 15mg in November. April 2023 - September 2023 taper down on an unregulated basis and stop in September. Feel great until December 2023 when drinking alcohol several times destabilized me. January 2024 Reinstate 5mg and taper to 10mg (feel ok but still not sleeping great and weird nerve sensations, convince myself it’s the pill) February 10 2024 - April 2024 - taper to zero where I spent a week and half before cratering and reinstated on April 21 at 2.5mg using 1/4 pill for 2 days (this provided relief instantly but to me at the time it wasn’t enough), increased on April 23 to 10mg per doctor accompanied with bad activation symptoms and suicidal ideation April 28 - emergency reduction directly to 1.00mg, May 2 increase per new doctor - to 2.50mg, switch to manufacturer liquid on May 4, May 13 - 2.45, May 14 - 2.40, May 15 - 2.40, May 16 - 2.30. Begin slide down for activation relief (MM/DD) 2024 -> 06/20: 2.26mg Link to comment
Moderator LotusRising Posted May 28 Moderator Share Posted May 28 3 hours ago, ScaredDad said: Why does this only happen in the evening? Is this related to the dosing? Hi @ScaredDad, sorry I haven't replied sooner, I've been away. Just catching up here and I see there's been some discussion about adverse reactions, hypersensitivity/kindling. In my opinion, I don't think this is an adverse reaction. 2 hours ago, ScaredDad said: Is the dose hitting me like that or is this too fast or what? Does this happen every time you dose? I read above that you feel a bit better after 5. Does this happen consistently? 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods 2010-2011 Ativan 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
ScaredDad Posted May 28 Author Share Posted May 28 4 minutes ago, LotusRising said: Hi @ScaredDad, sorry I haven't replied sooner, I've been away. Just catching up here and I see there's been some discussion about adverse reactions, hypersensitivity/kindling. In my opinion, I don't think this is an adverse reaction. Does this happen every time you dose? I read above that you feel a bit better after 5. Does this happen consistently? I’ve had 3 or so times when I felt better after dosing usually I feel worse today was a mixed bag. Yes, I very consistently feel better 5-9. intermittent klonopin 0.5mg this whole time. Never ever felt addicted. Probably averaged 1 a week the entirety of this. Last dose ~April 21, 2024 July 2018 - lexapro 10mg October 2018 - Lexapro 15mg November 2018 - July 2022 - various lexapro doses ended at 2.5mg August 2022 - life events and then strange symptoms lead to increase to 15mg - although I now know this was the start of withdrawal. Stabilize on 15mg in November. April 2023 - September 2023 taper down on an unregulated basis and stop in September. Feel great until December 2023 when drinking alcohol several times destabilized me. January 2024 Reinstate 5mg and taper to 10mg (feel ok but still not sleeping great and weird nerve sensations, convince myself it’s the pill) February 10 2024 - April 2024 - taper to zero where I spent a week and half before cratering and reinstated on April 21 at 2.5mg using 1/4 pill for 2 days (this provided relief instantly but to me at the time it wasn’t enough), increased on April 23 to 10mg per doctor accompanied with bad activation symptoms and suicidal ideation April 28 - emergency reduction directly to 1.00mg, May 2 increase per new doctor - to 2.50mg, switch to manufacturer liquid on May 4, May 13 - 2.45, May 14 - 2.40, May 15 - 2.40, May 16 - 2.30. Begin slide down for activation relief (MM/DD) 2024 -> 06/20: 2.26mg Link to comment
Moderator Catwoman73 Posted May 28 Moderator Share Posted May 28 The predictability of the onset of the severe symptoms makes me think this has something to do with the way the drug is being metabolized after ingestion, but I have no idea what that would mean for you in terms of next steps. I'm certainly no expert- hopefully Mark Horowitz will have some insight for you. On the flip side, the predictability of your windows must be comforting, to some degree- when you're in hell, you can count on having an improvement later that day. That's something you can hold on to during the awful mornings. Just letting you know I'm thinking of you... I'm feeling like garbage today, so I may not be around much. Need to try to get some more sleep! 1 1995- 2007- On and off multiple antidepressants (Prozac, Paxil, Effexor, Wellbutrin, escitalopram). Memory poor- can’t remember dates. Always tapered fast or CT. 2007- tapered Wellbutrin, zopiclone and escitalopram over one month to get pregnant. Withdrawal hell for many years. 2009- Daughter born 🥰 Post partum depression/psychosis- no meds taken. 2016- Back on escitalopram due to job change/anxiety 2022- Severe covid infection- Diagnosed with long covid 08/22. 2023- 01/23- Long term disability approved for long covid. Started taper under MD advice from 20mg: 11/23- 15mg. 2024- March-10mg. Started low dose naltrexone for long covid-5mg- terrible reaction, reduced to 0.5mg. April- 10mg escitalopram, 1.0mg LDN. May 1- 9.0mg escitalopram, 1.0mg LDN. May 15- 9.0mg escitalopram, 1.5mg LDN. June 12- 8.5mg escitalopram, 1.5mg LDN. July 8- Brassmonkey micro taper started. 8.4mg escitalopram, 1.5mg LDN. July 15- 8.3mg esc, 1.5mg LDN. July 18 8.3mg esc, 2.0mg LDN, July 22 8.2mg esc. 2.0mg LDN. July 29 8.1mg esc. 2.0mg LDN. Aug. 24- 8.0mg Esc. 2.0mg LDN. Aug. 30 7.9mg esc. Sept. 6 7.8mg esc. Sept. 13 7.7mg esc. Supplements/other meds: Vitamin D, B12, Claritin, HRT PLEASE DO NOT PM ME! FEEL ONLY TAG ME FOR URGENT QUESTIONS! Thank you! I am not a doctor. I don't even play one on TV. This is not medical advice, but based on personal experience. Please consult a medical professional. Link to comment
ScaredDad Posted May 28 Author Share Posted May 28 3 minutes ago, Catwoman73 said: The predictability of the onset of the severe symptoms makes me think this has something to do with the way the drug is being metabolized after ingestion, but I have no idea what that would mean for you in terms of next steps. I'm certainly no expert- hopefully Mark Horowitz will have some insight for you. On the flip side, the predictability of your windows must be comforting, to some degree- when you're in hell, you can count on having an improvement later that day. That's something you can hold on to during the awful mornings. Just letting you know I'm thinking of you... I'm feeling like garbage today, so I may not be around much. Need to try to get some more sleep! Thanks you and I am so sorry you are having a hard day. I agree with the slight improvement in the afternoon but tbh it doesn't even really feel like progress it just feels like this is my new normal which i am not willing to tolerate in perpetuity. I am getting sicker from how little sleep I get. I will battle like this for longer to see but I am TOTALLY unfunctional so if we keep it this way I will just have to taper in withdrawal. intermittent klonopin 0.5mg this whole time. Never ever felt addicted. Probably averaged 1 a week the entirety of this. Last dose ~April 21, 2024 July 2018 - lexapro 10mg October 2018 - Lexapro 15mg November 2018 - July 2022 - various lexapro doses ended at 2.5mg August 2022 - life events and then strange symptoms lead to increase to 15mg - although I now know this was the start of withdrawal. Stabilize on 15mg in November. April 2023 - September 2023 taper down on an unregulated basis and stop in September. Feel great until December 2023 when drinking alcohol several times destabilized me. January 2024 Reinstate 5mg and taper to 10mg (feel ok but still not sleeping great and weird nerve sensations, convince myself it’s the pill) February 10 2024 - April 2024 - taper to zero where I spent a week and half before cratering and reinstated on April 21 at 2.5mg using 1/4 pill for 2 days (this provided relief instantly but to me at the time it wasn’t enough), increased on April 23 to 10mg per doctor accompanied with bad activation symptoms and suicidal ideation April 28 - emergency reduction directly to 1.00mg, May 2 increase per new doctor - to 2.50mg, switch to manufacturer liquid on May 4, May 13 - 2.45, May 14 - 2.40, May 15 - 2.40, May 16 - 2.30. Begin slide down for activation relief (MM/DD) 2024 -> 06/20: 2.26mg Link to comment
Moderator LotusRising Posted May 28 Moderator Share Posted May 28 50 minutes ago, ScaredDad said: es, I very consistently feel better 5-9. And this is 5-9pm, correct? What happens after 9? 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods 2010-2011 Ativan 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
ScaredDad Posted May 28 Author Share Posted May 28 2 minutes ago, LotusRising said: And this is 5-9pm, correct? What happens after 9? Yes,pm. I lay in bed and everything takes off. To be somewhat fair I guess. In my history with this most times I got in bed between December and April and obviously still now I would get what I called dancing nerves. When my legs would tingle. But I didn’t know I was in WD from September still. my history is atrocious. but all this time if I’d get anxious, symptoms, or anything it would always be after 9. Always. intermittent klonopin 0.5mg this whole time. Never ever felt addicted. Probably averaged 1 a week the entirety of this. Last dose ~April 21, 2024 July 2018 - lexapro 10mg October 2018 - Lexapro 15mg November 2018 - July 2022 - various lexapro doses ended at 2.5mg August 2022 - life events and then strange symptoms lead to increase to 15mg - although I now know this was the start of withdrawal. Stabilize on 15mg in November. April 2023 - September 2023 taper down on an unregulated basis and stop in September. Feel great until December 2023 when drinking alcohol several times destabilized me. January 2024 Reinstate 5mg and taper to 10mg (feel ok but still not sleeping great and weird nerve sensations, convince myself it’s the pill) February 10 2024 - April 2024 - taper to zero where I spent a week and half before cratering and reinstated on April 21 at 2.5mg using 1/4 pill for 2 days (this provided relief instantly but to me at the time it wasn’t enough), increased on April 23 to 10mg per doctor accompanied with bad activation symptoms and suicidal ideation April 28 - emergency reduction directly to 1.00mg, May 2 increase per new doctor - to 2.50mg, switch to manufacturer liquid on May 4, May 13 - 2.45, May 14 - 2.40, May 15 - 2.40, May 16 - 2.30. Begin slide down for activation relief (MM/DD) 2024 -> 06/20: 2.26mg Link to comment
Administrator Emonda Posted May 29 Administrator Share Posted May 29 Wishing you well with Dr H today...it's today right? Please let us know how you go. 1 Please don't send me PMs. I am not a doctor. My comments are based on my personal experience with ADs and tapering. Consult your doctor about your own medical decisions. Start of taper: Jan ’22 Vortioxetine 15mg, End year 1: 4.5mg, End year 2: 2.38mg, Year 3: 8 Feb 2.19mg, 21 Mar 1.99mg, 2 May 1.83mg, 13 Jun 1.69mg, 25 Jul 1.50mg, 14 Aug 1.46mg, 3 Sep 1.43mg, 10 Sep 1.40mg, 17 Sep 1.37mg Link to comment
ScaredDad Posted May 29 Author Share Posted May 29 @Emonda last night and this morning worst yet.. I don’t know what to do I’m running out of energy. I’m so acutely distressed; no sleep screaming into pillows having to jump out of beds hyperventilating at night. i got a new bottle of liquid lexapro since i had it in the fridge and it said to not store below 77F which I had no idea about I’m losing my mind idk what to do. are you sure everyone can survive this? I haven’t slept more than an hour in a night since April 20th or so, my body is on the verge of giving out. Do you think this is just the delay of WD from my .20mg drop 13 days ago? That’s why the sudden worsening? yes it is at 12 est today intermittent klonopin 0.5mg this whole time. Never ever felt addicted. Probably averaged 1 a week the entirety of this. Last dose ~April 21, 2024 July 2018 - lexapro 10mg October 2018 - Lexapro 15mg November 2018 - July 2022 - various lexapro doses ended at 2.5mg August 2022 - life events and then strange symptoms lead to increase to 15mg - although I now know this was the start of withdrawal. Stabilize on 15mg in November. April 2023 - September 2023 taper down on an unregulated basis and stop in September. Feel great until December 2023 when drinking alcohol several times destabilized me. January 2024 Reinstate 5mg and taper to 10mg (feel ok but still not sleeping great and weird nerve sensations, convince myself it’s the pill) February 10 2024 - April 2024 - taper to zero where I spent a week and half before cratering and reinstated on April 21 at 2.5mg using 1/4 pill for 2 days (this provided relief instantly but to me at the time it wasn’t enough), increased on April 23 to 10mg per doctor accompanied with bad activation symptoms and suicidal ideation April 28 - emergency reduction directly to 1.00mg, May 2 increase per new doctor - to 2.50mg, switch to manufacturer liquid on May 4, May 13 - 2.45, May 14 - 2.40, May 15 - 2.40, May 16 - 2.30. Begin slide down for activation relief (MM/DD) 2024 -> 06/20: 2.26mg Link to comment
Administrator Emonda Posted May 29 Administrator Share Posted May 29 5 minutes ago, ScaredDad said: yes it is at 12 est today Wonderful. Dr H will have some wisdom to share. 6 minutes ago, ScaredDad said: are you sure everyone can survive this? You can and will. Dr H is only a few hours away. Hold tight until then. Please let us know how you go. Please don't send me PMs. I am not a doctor. My comments are based on my personal experience with ADs and tapering. Consult your doctor about your own medical decisions. Start of taper: Jan ’22 Vortioxetine 15mg, End year 1: 4.5mg, End year 2: 2.38mg, Year 3: 8 Feb 2.19mg, 21 Mar 1.99mg, 2 May 1.83mg, 13 Jun 1.69mg, 25 Jul 1.50mg, 14 Aug 1.46mg, 3 Sep 1.43mg, 10 Sep 1.40mg, 17 Sep 1.37mg Link to comment
ScaredDad Posted May 29 Author Share Posted May 29 Thanks @Emonda. what do you think about the delayed WD uptick? The maudsley guide says citalopram adjustments peaks at about 14 days. Do you think that’s what this is? I know this is escitalopram but they are very similar intermittent klonopin 0.5mg this whole time. Never ever felt addicted. Probably averaged 1 a week the entirety of this. Last dose ~April 21, 2024 July 2018 - lexapro 10mg October 2018 - Lexapro 15mg November 2018 - July 2022 - various lexapro doses ended at 2.5mg August 2022 - life events and then strange symptoms lead to increase to 15mg - although I now know this was the start of withdrawal. Stabilize on 15mg in November. April 2023 - September 2023 taper down on an unregulated basis and stop in September. Feel great until December 2023 when drinking alcohol several times destabilized me. January 2024 Reinstate 5mg and taper to 10mg (feel ok but still not sleeping great and weird nerve sensations, convince myself it’s the pill) February 10 2024 - April 2024 - taper to zero where I spent a week and half before cratering and reinstated on April 21 at 2.5mg using 1/4 pill for 2 days (this provided relief instantly but to me at the time it wasn’t enough), increased on April 23 to 10mg per doctor accompanied with bad activation symptoms and suicidal ideation April 28 - emergency reduction directly to 1.00mg, May 2 increase per new doctor - to 2.50mg, switch to manufacturer liquid on May 4, May 13 - 2.45, May 14 - 2.40, May 15 - 2.40, May 16 - 2.30. Begin slide down for activation relief (MM/DD) 2024 -> 06/20: 2.26mg Link to comment
Moderator Catwoman73 Posted May 29 Moderator Share Posted May 29 Wishing you the best of luck with Dr. Horowitz today, @ScaredDad! I'll be thinking of you, and looking forward to an update! 1 1995- 2007- On and off multiple antidepressants (Prozac, Paxil, Effexor, Wellbutrin, escitalopram). Memory poor- can’t remember dates. Always tapered fast or CT. 2007- tapered Wellbutrin, zopiclone and escitalopram over one month to get pregnant. Withdrawal hell for many years. 2009- Daughter born 🥰 Post partum depression/psychosis- no meds taken. 2016- Back on escitalopram due to job change/anxiety 2022- Severe covid infection- Diagnosed with long covid 08/22. 2023- 01/23- Long term disability approved for long covid. Started taper under MD advice from 20mg: 11/23- 15mg. 2024- March-10mg. Started low dose naltrexone for long covid-5mg- terrible reaction, reduced to 0.5mg. April- 10mg escitalopram, 1.0mg LDN. May 1- 9.0mg escitalopram, 1.0mg LDN. May 15- 9.0mg escitalopram, 1.5mg LDN. June 12- 8.5mg escitalopram, 1.5mg LDN. July 8- Brassmonkey micro taper started. 8.4mg escitalopram, 1.5mg LDN. July 15- 8.3mg esc, 1.5mg LDN. July 18 8.3mg esc, 2.0mg LDN, July 22 8.2mg esc. 2.0mg LDN. July 29 8.1mg esc. 2.0mg LDN. Aug. 24- 8.0mg Esc. 2.0mg LDN. Aug. 30 7.9mg esc. Sept. 6 7.8mg esc. Sept. 13 7.7mg esc. Supplements/other meds: Vitamin D, B12, Claritin, HRT PLEASE DO NOT PM ME! FEEL ONLY TAG ME FOR URGENT QUESTIONS! Thank you! I am not a doctor. I don't even play one on TV. This is not medical advice, but based on personal experience. Please consult a medical professional. Link to comment
AAOffZ Posted May 29 Share Posted May 29 @ScaredDad focus on appt and your evening window that’s coming. One day at a time. You will make it through this. I would record the appt somehow if that’s possible? Zoloft 25 mg (Jan 2016) 50 mg (Feb 2016) Off Zoloft for second pregnancy (2019) Back to Zoloft 75 mg (Sept 2019) Down to 25 mg for third pregnancy (2020) 50-> 75 mg ->100 mg (Jan 2023) Felt good for long while so reduced to 75 (Nov 2023). Back up to 100 after some symptoms of anxiety (Dec 2023) 125 (Dec 2023) didn’t help so->150 (Feb 2024) Horrible reaction (almost psychosis) Doc suggested lowering Z and adding buspar. Started 2.5 mg 3x per day same day at going down to 125 mg Z. then to 100 a week later. Found SA, stopped the madness. (April 2024) 87.5 mg (August 31, 2024) 84.6 mg (Current: Natural Calm: 200 mg per day in water, 0.5 mg melatonin) Link to comment
ScaredDad Posted May 29 Author Share Posted May 29 I know everyone I know but this is the worst 2 hour stretch yet what is happening intermittent klonopin 0.5mg this whole time. Never ever felt addicted. Probably averaged 1 a week the entirety of this. Last dose ~April 21, 2024 July 2018 - lexapro 10mg October 2018 - Lexapro 15mg November 2018 - July 2022 - various lexapro doses ended at 2.5mg August 2022 - life events and then strange symptoms lead to increase to 15mg - although I now know this was the start of withdrawal. Stabilize on 15mg in November. April 2023 - September 2023 taper down on an unregulated basis and stop in September. Feel great until December 2023 when drinking alcohol several times destabilized me. January 2024 Reinstate 5mg and taper to 10mg (feel ok but still not sleeping great and weird nerve sensations, convince myself it’s the pill) February 10 2024 - April 2024 - taper to zero where I spent a week and half before cratering and reinstated on April 21 at 2.5mg using 1/4 pill for 2 days (this provided relief instantly but to me at the time it wasn’t enough), increased on April 23 to 10mg per doctor accompanied with bad activation symptoms and suicidal ideation April 28 - emergency reduction directly to 1.00mg, May 2 increase per new doctor - to 2.50mg, switch to manufacturer liquid on May 4, May 13 - 2.45, May 14 - 2.40, May 15 - 2.40, May 16 - 2.30. Begin slide down for activation relief (MM/DD) 2024 -> 06/20: 2.26mg Link to comment
Mentor Catina7 Posted May 29 Mentor Share Posted May 29 So sorry! Sometimes things get worse before they actually get better, so hang in there! We're all here for you. Let us know how your appt. w/ Mark goes. ❤️ Disclaimer: This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only. 1994 - 2017: Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien 2005-present: Trazodone 50 mg 2017: Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 2020 (March): Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg) 2021 (September): Completely crashed. Went back up to 37.5 mg but I kindled myself 2024 (Avg. bead count per capsule is 111): 1/1: -6 | 2/1: -11 | 3/1: -16 | 4/1: -18 | 5/1: -21 | 6/1 -25 | 7/1 HOLD | 8/1 -29 | 9/7 -33 Reasons for starting psych meds: PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Other medications: Levothyroxine 75 mcg Supplements: Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion Never give up Holding On with Patience & Endurance Link to comment
LostInCanada Posted May 29 Share Posted May 29 4 hours ago, ScaredDad said: got a new bottle of liquid lexapro since i had it in the fridge and it said to not store below 77F which I had no idea about @ScaredDad glad you got a new bottle. Accuracy on all points with a drug is important. This no doubt has affected your dosage, absorption and efficacy. Ask Mark how this may have affected things as well. I think it is a great idea to record your session with Mark. We are here for you I am not a medical professional. My comments are based on my personal experience and information on this site. 2016-twice weekly for a couple months-oxazepam 10 mg sleep/ 2020-22-once a week 3.75-7.5 mg for sleep/20 yr+ Paroxetine/ Dec2018-May 2022 20 mg/ May 2022 30mg/2022.07.28-2022.08.24 30mg to 0mg/ August 24-29 2022 10mg Prozac/2022.11.28-2022.12.04- 5mg Paroxetine/Dec 5&6/22 10mg Paroxetine/ Dec 8&9/22 10mg Prozac/ 2022.12.07 to 2023.07.01 5mg Paroxetine TAPER 23.07.02-58mgpw/4.9mgai/ 23.07.21-4.8 mg/23.07.28-4.73 mg/23.08.04-4.65 mg/21.09.23-4.58 mg/27.10.23-4.56 mg/5.12.23-4.54 mg/2.1.24-4.52 mg/9.1.24-4.51 mg/17.1.24-4.49 mg/26.1.24-4.47 mg/6.2.24-4.46 mg/19.2.24-4.44mg /4.4.24-4.43mg/28.4.24-4.4mg/5.5.24-4.39 mg/19.5.24-4.36 mg/2.7.24-4.34 mg/9.7.24-4.32 mg/7.31.24-4.3 mg 8am-probiotics/9am-paroxetine, 200mg mag bisglycinate/ 1000mg Vitamin D/5pm-75 mg DGL/200mg calcium citrate/0.25 mcg melatonin nightly "... your strength will be in keeping calm..."-Isaiah 30:15 Link to comment
ScaredDad Posted May 29 Author Share Posted May 29 Here is a super short clip notes: he really doesn’t tell you what you MUST do he just tells you options and what your best bets are: let’s assume I am having paradoxical: (1) he’s seen people acclimate to this with holds (2) you could reduce a little and see how it goes so it is recommended I at least wait a bit longer on 2.3mg before making a move. How far we go down? Not a firm number there. Just moving down 2.2 or 2.1. Then hang out and see how things go. Specifically viewed as some experimentation. What’s everyone’s reaction? I worry I’m sooooooo destabilized anything will make me worse but I just wonder if getting lower should be the ultimate goal anyway intermittent klonopin 0.5mg this whole time. Never ever felt addicted. Probably averaged 1 a week the entirety of this. Last dose ~April 21, 2024 July 2018 - lexapro 10mg October 2018 - Lexapro 15mg November 2018 - July 2022 - various lexapro doses ended at 2.5mg August 2022 - life events and then strange symptoms lead to increase to 15mg - although I now know this was the start of withdrawal. Stabilize on 15mg in November. April 2023 - September 2023 taper down on an unregulated basis and stop in September. Feel great until December 2023 when drinking alcohol several times destabilized me. January 2024 Reinstate 5mg and taper to 10mg (feel ok but still not sleeping great and weird nerve sensations, convince myself it’s the pill) February 10 2024 - April 2024 - taper to zero where I spent a week and half before cratering and reinstated on April 21 at 2.5mg using 1/4 pill for 2 days (this provided relief instantly but to me at the time it wasn’t enough), increased on April 23 to 10mg per doctor accompanied with bad activation symptoms and suicidal ideation April 28 - emergency reduction directly to 1.00mg, May 2 increase per new doctor - to 2.50mg, switch to manufacturer liquid on May 4, May 13 - 2.45, May 14 - 2.40, May 15 - 2.40, May 16 - 2.30. Begin slide down for activation relief (MM/DD) 2024 -> 06/20: 2.26mg Link to comment
LostInCanada Posted May 29 Share Posted May 29 @ScaredDad I do think reduction is good but as mentioned just a little and see how it goes. We are here whenever you are ready. ♥️ I am not a medical professional. My comments are based on my personal experience and information on this site. 2016-twice weekly for a couple months-oxazepam 10 mg sleep/ 2020-22-once a week 3.75-7.5 mg for sleep/20 yr+ Paroxetine/ Dec2018-May 2022 20 mg/ May 2022 30mg/2022.07.28-2022.08.24 30mg to 0mg/ August 24-29 2022 10mg Prozac/2022.11.28-2022.12.04- 5mg Paroxetine/Dec 5&6/22 10mg Paroxetine/ Dec 8&9/22 10mg Prozac/ 2022.12.07 to 2023.07.01 5mg Paroxetine TAPER 23.07.02-58mgpw/4.9mgai/ 23.07.21-4.8 mg/23.07.28-4.73 mg/23.08.04-4.65 mg/21.09.23-4.58 mg/27.10.23-4.56 mg/5.12.23-4.54 mg/2.1.24-4.52 mg/9.1.24-4.51 mg/17.1.24-4.49 mg/26.1.24-4.47 mg/6.2.24-4.46 mg/19.2.24-4.44mg /4.4.24-4.43mg/28.4.24-4.4mg/5.5.24-4.39 mg/19.5.24-4.36 mg/2.7.24-4.34 mg/9.7.24-4.32 mg/7.31.24-4.3 mg 8am-probiotics/9am-paroxetine, 200mg mag bisglycinate/ 1000mg Vitamin D/5pm-75 mg DGL/200mg calcium citrate/0.25 mcg melatonin nightly "... your strength will be in keeping calm..."-Isaiah 30:15 Link to comment
Moderator Catwoman73 Posted May 29 Moderator Share Posted May 29 5 minutes ago, ScaredDad said: Here is a super short clip notes: he really doesn’t tell you what you MUST do he just tells you options and what your best bets are: let’s assume I am having paradoxical: (1) he’s seen people acclimate to this with holds (2) you could reduce a little and see how it goes so it is recommended I at least wait a bit longer on 2.3mg before making a move. How far we go down? Not a firm number there. Just moving down 2.2 or 2.1. Then hang out and see how things go. Specifically viewed as some experimentation. What’s everyone’s reaction? I worry I’m sooooooo destabilized anything will make me worse but I just wonder if getting lower should be the ultimate goal anyway I'm not overly surprised at the lack of specificity... there really is no magic bullet here. It's all a big experiment for all of us. But I don't disagree that stability is the way- that's kinda what we've all been thinking all along. Are you feeling disappointed that he didn't think that stopping was the way to go? I can't say what I would do in your place, but I'd like to think that I could find the strength to hold right where you are for another couple of weeks, to get a sense of exactly where you really are with it. Like I said previously- the longest you've held anywhere this year is 11 days- you desperately need stability right now. Sigh... I wish we could do more, or had better answers. It seems that the only way out is through. Hang in there! 1995- 2007- On and off multiple antidepressants (Prozac, Paxil, Effexor, Wellbutrin, escitalopram). Memory poor- can’t remember dates. Always tapered fast or CT. 2007- tapered Wellbutrin, zopiclone and escitalopram over one month to get pregnant. Withdrawal hell for many years. 2009- Daughter born 🥰 Post partum depression/psychosis- no meds taken. 2016- Back on escitalopram due to job change/anxiety 2022- Severe covid infection- Diagnosed with long covid 08/22. 2023- 01/23- Long term disability approved for long covid. Started taper under MD advice from 20mg: 11/23- 15mg. 2024- March-10mg. Started low dose naltrexone for long covid-5mg- terrible reaction, reduced to 0.5mg. April- 10mg escitalopram, 1.0mg LDN. May 1- 9.0mg escitalopram, 1.0mg LDN. May 15- 9.0mg escitalopram, 1.5mg LDN. June 12- 8.5mg escitalopram, 1.5mg LDN. July 8- Brassmonkey micro taper started. 8.4mg escitalopram, 1.5mg LDN. July 15- 8.3mg esc, 1.5mg LDN. July 18 8.3mg esc, 2.0mg LDN, July 22 8.2mg esc. 2.0mg LDN. July 29 8.1mg esc. 2.0mg LDN. Aug. 24- 8.0mg Esc. 2.0mg LDN. Aug. 30 7.9mg esc. Sept. 6 7.8mg esc. Sept. 13 7.7mg esc. Supplements/other meds: Vitamin D, B12, Claritin, HRT PLEASE DO NOT PM ME! FEEL ONLY TAG ME FOR URGENT QUESTIONS! Thank you! I am not a doctor. I don't even play one on TV. This is not medical advice, but based on personal experience. Please consult a medical professional. Link to comment
ScaredDad Posted May 29 Author Share Posted May 29 @Catwoman73 @LostInCanadatotally agree. I knew he’d not recommend jumping off. My wife wants me to wait until after the baby is born to try and do a cut. I’m praying the dust starts settling soon. My whole family listened to the call and it was so good for them. intermittent klonopin 0.5mg this whole time. Never ever felt addicted. Probably averaged 1 a week the entirety of this. Last dose ~April 21, 2024 July 2018 - lexapro 10mg October 2018 - Lexapro 15mg November 2018 - July 2022 - various lexapro doses ended at 2.5mg August 2022 - life events and then strange symptoms lead to increase to 15mg - although I now know this was the start of withdrawal. Stabilize on 15mg in November. April 2023 - September 2023 taper down on an unregulated basis and stop in September. Feel great until December 2023 when drinking alcohol several times destabilized me. January 2024 Reinstate 5mg and taper to 10mg (feel ok but still not sleeping great and weird nerve sensations, convince myself it’s the pill) February 10 2024 - April 2024 - taper to zero where I spent a week and half before cratering and reinstated on April 21 at 2.5mg using 1/4 pill for 2 days (this provided relief instantly but to me at the time it wasn’t enough), increased on April 23 to 10mg per doctor accompanied with bad activation symptoms and suicidal ideation April 28 - emergency reduction directly to 1.00mg, May 2 increase per new doctor - to 2.50mg, switch to manufacturer liquid on May 4, May 13 - 2.45, May 14 - 2.40, May 15 - 2.40, May 16 - 2.30. Begin slide down for activation relief (MM/DD) 2024 -> 06/20: 2.26mg Link to comment
Mentor Catina7 Posted May 29 Mentor Share Posted May 29 3 minutes ago, ScaredDad said: My whole family listened to the call and it was so good for them. Very nice ❤️. Disclaimer: This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only. 1994 - 2017: Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien 2005-present: Trazodone 50 mg 2017: Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 2020 (March): Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg) 2021 (September): Completely crashed. Went back up to 37.5 mg but I kindled myself 2024 (Avg. bead count per capsule is 111): 1/1: -6 | 2/1: -11 | 3/1: -16 | 4/1: -18 | 5/1: -21 | 6/1 -25 | 7/1 HOLD | 8/1 -29 | 9/7 -33 Reasons for starting psych meds: PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Other medications: Levothyroxine 75 mcg Supplements: Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion Never give up Holding On with Patience & Endurance Link to comment
ScaredDad Posted May 29 Author Share Posted May 29 7 minutes ago, Catina7 said: Very nice ❤️. Thanks. I’m still struggling with my time line and it’s so hard but this at least means 3 more weeks on this dose. 1 intermittent klonopin 0.5mg this whole time. Never ever felt addicted. Probably averaged 1 a week the entirety of this. Last dose ~April 21, 2024 July 2018 - lexapro 10mg October 2018 - Lexapro 15mg November 2018 - July 2022 - various lexapro doses ended at 2.5mg August 2022 - life events and then strange symptoms lead to increase to 15mg - although I now know this was the start of withdrawal. Stabilize on 15mg in November. April 2023 - September 2023 taper down on an unregulated basis and stop in September. Feel great until December 2023 when drinking alcohol several times destabilized me. January 2024 Reinstate 5mg and taper to 10mg (feel ok but still not sleeping great and weird nerve sensations, convince myself it’s the pill) February 10 2024 - April 2024 - taper to zero where I spent a week and half before cratering and reinstated on April 21 at 2.5mg using 1/4 pill for 2 days (this provided relief instantly but to me at the time it wasn’t enough), increased on April 23 to 10mg per doctor accompanied with bad activation symptoms and suicidal ideation April 28 - emergency reduction directly to 1.00mg, May 2 increase per new doctor - to 2.50mg, switch to manufacturer liquid on May 4, May 13 - 2.45, May 14 - 2.40, May 15 - 2.40, May 16 - 2.30. Begin slide down for activation relief (MM/DD) 2024 -> 06/20: 2.26mg Link to comment
LostInCanada Posted May 29 Share Posted May 29 15 minutes ago, ScaredDad said: My whole family listened to the call and it was so good for them. I am so glad. The more understanding, the more support for you. I am not a medical professional. My comments are based on my personal experience and information on this site. 2016-twice weekly for a couple months-oxazepam 10 mg sleep/ 2020-22-once a week 3.75-7.5 mg for sleep/20 yr+ Paroxetine/ Dec2018-May 2022 20 mg/ May 2022 30mg/2022.07.28-2022.08.24 30mg to 0mg/ August 24-29 2022 10mg Prozac/2022.11.28-2022.12.04- 5mg Paroxetine/Dec 5&6/22 10mg Paroxetine/ Dec 8&9/22 10mg Prozac/ 2022.12.07 to 2023.07.01 5mg Paroxetine TAPER 23.07.02-58mgpw/4.9mgai/ 23.07.21-4.8 mg/23.07.28-4.73 mg/23.08.04-4.65 mg/21.09.23-4.58 mg/27.10.23-4.56 mg/5.12.23-4.54 mg/2.1.24-4.52 mg/9.1.24-4.51 mg/17.1.24-4.49 mg/26.1.24-4.47 mg/6.2.24-4.46 mg/19.2.24-4.44mg /4.4.24-4.43mg/28.4.24-4.4mg/5.5.24-4.39 mg/19.5.24-4.36 mg/2.7.24-4.34 mg/9.7.24-4.32 mg/7.31.24-4.3 mg 8am-probiotics/9am-paroxetine, 200mg mag bisglycinate/ 1000mg Vitamin D/5pm-75 mg DGL/200mg calcium citrate/0.25 mcg melatonin nightly "... your strength will be in keeping calm..."-Isaiah 30:15 Link to comment
Administrator Emonda Posted May 29 Administrator Share Posted May 29 4 hours ago, ScaredDad said: My whole family listened to the call and it was so good for them. Excellent. What a blessing they could participate. I always found it so beneficial to have my wife attend those sorts of appointments. It allowed us to reflect together afterwards on what was said and how to proceed. Constant reassurance when you're not in a good place is invaluable. In my experience, you eventually start to reassure yourself as you progress along this journey. 5 hours ago, ScaredDad said: so it is recommended I at least wait a bit longer on 2.3mg before making a move. How far we go down? Not a firm number there. Just moving down 2.2 or 2.1. Then hang out and see how things go. Specifically viewed as some experimentation. Sounds like we're singing from the same hymn sheet. I was confident we would be. I'm encouraged by this The eventual proposed reductions are nice and conservative....small drops, hold and monitor for changes. 5 hours ago, ScaredDad said: I worry I’m sooooooo destabilized anything will make me worse The mind is powerful and will run wild if you allow it. Distractions are important and helpful. For example, at night, when I don't sleep well (most nights 🤨), I have classical music playing quietly in the background. I have it playing right now, sitting in my office at work. It quietens/calms the mind. During the day, I'll get outside often for a walk to distract myself with the beauty of creation that surrounds me. I've read this link so many times: Emotional Spirals. Perhaps spend some time here with your wife so you can remind yourself, and she can remind you when you start to worry or catastrophise that you'll never get better. 5 hours ago, ScaredDad said: I just wonder if getting lower should be the ultimate goal anyway Eventually, I'd expect that to be the case. But it's not a race. Time + much patience. Keep fighting, find some distractions, you're going to succeed 👍 4 Please don't send me PMs. I am not a doctor. My comments are based on my personal experience with ADs and tapering. Consult your doctor about your own medical decisions. Start of taper: Jan ’22 Vortioxetine 15mg, End year 1: 4.5mg, End year 2: 2.38mg, Year 3: 8 Feb 2.19mg, 21 Mar 1.99mg, 2 May 1.83mg, 13 Jun 1.69mg, 25 Jul 1.50mg, 14 Aug 1.46mg, 3 Sep 1.43mg, 10 Sep 1.40mg, 17 Sep 1.37mg Link to comment
ScaredDad Posted May 29 Author Share Posted May 29 @Emonda thanks! Today was hard, every day is hard, but my family (extended) hears me and is pounding the drum for others to hear me. Dr Horowitz was realistic on timelines and things and also made everyone aware of those things. We are moving forward as a unit, with me in the middle. Regardless of what happens is it a safe thing to at least hope that I’m so acute even if I just sit here patiently I should improve a little? Just with time? I can bear this cross but I need to know it won’t be this acute the whole time. If I hold a bit longer even if not “stabilized” healing comes with time? reading emotional spirals! I’m working on sleep techniques. 3 intermittent klonopin 0.5mg this whole time. Never ever felt addicted. Probably averaged 1 a week the entirety of this. Last dose ~April 21, 2024 July 2018 - lexapro 10mg October 2018 - Lexapro 15mg November 2018 - July 2022 - various lexapro doses ended at 2.5mg August 2022 - life events and then strange symptoms lead to increase to 15mg - although I now know this was the start of withdrawal. Stabilize on 15mg in November. April 2023 - September 2023 taper down on an unregulated basis and stop in September. Feel great until December 2023 when drinking alcohol several times destabilized me. January 2024 Reinstate 5mg and taper to 10mg (feel ok but still not sleeping great and weird nerve sensations, convince myself it’s the pill) February 10 2024 - April 2024 - taper to zero where I spent a week and half before cratering and reinstated on April 21 at 2.5mg using 1/4 pill for 2 days (this provided relief instantly but to me at the time it wasn’t enough), increased on April 23 to 10mg per doctor accompanied with bad activation symptoms and suicidal ideation April 28 - emergency reduction directly to 1.00mg, May 2 increase per new doctor - to 2.50mg, switch to manufacturer liquid on May 4, May 13 - 2.45, May 14 - 2.40, May 15 - 2.40, May 16 - 2.30. Begin slide down for activation relief (MM/DD) 2024 -> 06/20: 2.26mg Link to comment
Administrator Emonda Posted May 29 Administrator Share Posted May 29 7 minutes ago, ScaredDad said: Today was hard, every day is hard, Better days are always ahead. 7 minutes ago, ScaredDad said: but my family (extended) hears me and is pounding the drum for others to hear me 12 minutes ago, ScaredDad said: We are moving forward as a unit, with me in the middle. So many here don't have a supportive family - this is such a wonderful gift. 8 minutes ago, ScaredDad said: Dr Horowitz was realistic on timelines and things and also made everyone aware of those things. It's so important to have realistic expectations. Keep reflecting on the WD symptoms checklist, and give a hard copy to your family, so you can all identify the symptoms. When you see that how you feel is on that checklist, it feels like a positive step...despite feeling like, well, crap at that particular moment. I say to myself, "Right now, I feel [insert symptom], but I know it is a documented WD symptom, and despite how unpleasant this is, it's temporary, and I will recover". It helps to write it down and say it out loud. I have this sort of stuff written in my offline diary. 14 minutes ago, ScaredDad said: even if I just sit here patiently I should improve a little? 15 minutes ago, ScaredDad said: I can bear this cross but I need to know it won’t be this acute the whole time. If I hold a bit longer even if not “stabilized” healing comes with time? That's 100% my expectation. I've been in the pit of despair many times before finding this site, and things have always improved with time and patience. 1 Please don't send me PMs. I am not a doctor. My comments are based on my personal experience with ADs and tapering. Consult your doctor about your own medical decisions. Start of taper: Jan ’22 Vortioxetine 15mg, End year 1: 4.5mg, End year 2: 2.38mg, Year 3: 8 Feb 2.19mg, 21 Mar 1.99mg, 2 May 1.83mg, 13 Jun 1.69mg, 25 Jul 1.50mg, 14 Aug 1.46mg, 3 Sep 1.43mg, 10 Sep 1.40mg, 17 Sep 1.37mg Link to comment
ScaredDad Posted May 30 Author Share Posted May 30 15 minutes ago, Emonda said: I say to myself, "Right now, I feel [insert symptom], but I know it is a documented WD symptom, and despite how unpleasant this is, it's temporary, and I will recover". It helps to write it down and say it out loud. I have this sort of stuff written in my offline diary. I love this. Thanks as always. You are a kind kind soul. @Emonda 1 intermittent klonopin 0.5mg this whole time. Never ever felt addicted. Probably averaged 1 a week the entirety of this. Last dose ~April 21, 2024 July 2018 - lexapro 10mg October 2018 - Lexapro 15mg November 2018 - July 2022 - various lexapro doses ended at 2.5mg August 2022 - life events and then strange symptoms lead to increase to 15mg - although I now know this was the start of withdrawal. Stabilize on 15mg in November. April 2023 - September 2023 taper down on an unregulated basis and stop in September. Feel great until December 2023 when drinking alcohol several times destabilized me. January 2024 Reinstate 5mg and taper to 10mg (feel ok but still not sleeping great and weird nerve sensations, convince myself it’s the pill) February 10 2024 - April 2024 - taper to zero where I spent a week and half before cratering and reinstated on April 21 at 2.5mg using 1/4 pill for 2 days (this provided relief instantly but to me at the time it wasn’t enough), increased on April 23 to 10mg per doctor accompanied with bad activation symptoms and suicidal ideation April 28 - emergency reduction directly to 1.00mg, May 2 increase per new doctor - to 2.50mg, switch to manufacturer liquid on May 4, May 13 - 2.45, May 14 - 2.40, May 15 - 2.40, May 16 - 2.30. Begin slide down for activation relief (MM/DD) 2024 -> 06/20: 2.26mg Link to comment
Moderator LotusRising Posted May 30 Moderator Share Posted May 30 35 minutes ago, ScaredDad said: If I hold a bit longer even if not “stabilized” healing comes with time? Healing always comes with time ❤️ It sounds like you've received some good advice and have a great support system to rally around you. Really quite a blessing. 1 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods 2010-2011 Ativan 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
ScaredDad Posted May 30 Author Share Posted May 30 7 minutes ago, LotusRising said: Healing always comes with time ❤️ It sounds like you've received some good advice and have a great support system to rally around you. Really quite a blessing. I couldn’t be more blessed @LotusRising for having you all as well. I wonder how many lives this site has saved. Everyone have a good night and good day to Emonda. 3 intermittent klonopin 0.5mg this whole time. Never ever felt addicted. Probably averaged 1 a week the entirety of this. Last dose ~April 21, 2024 July 2018 - lexapro 10mg October 2018 - Lexapro 15mg November 2018 - July 2022 - various lexapro doses ended at 2.5mg August 2022 - life events and then strange symptoms lead to increase to 15mg - although I now know this was the start of withdrawal. Stabilize on 15mg in November. April 2023 - September 2023 taper down on an unregulated basis and stop in September. Feel great until December 2023 when drinking alcohol several times destabilized me. January 2024 Reinstate 5mg and taper to 10mg (feel ok but still not sleeping great and weird nerve sensations, convince myself it’s the pill) February 10 2024 - April 2024 - taper to zero where I spent a week and half before cratering and reinstated on April 21 at 2.5mg using 1/4 pill for 2 days (this provided relief instantly but to me at the time it wasn’t enough), increased on April 23 to 10mg per doctor accompanied with bad activation symptoms and suicidal ideation April 28 - emergency reduction directly to 1.00mg, May 2 increase per new doctor - to 2.50mg, switch to manufacturer liquid on May 4, May 13 - 2.45, May 14 - 2.40, May 15 - 2.40, May 16 - 2.30. Begin slide down for activation relief (MM/DD) 2024 -> 06/20: 2.26mg Link to comment
AAOffZ Posted May 30 Share Posted May 30 28 minutes ago, ScaredDad said: I wonder how many lives this site has saved. I wonder this daily. I would be poly-drugged and in a facility labeled treatment-resistant bipolar, likely, if not been for SA. We’re definitely only seeing the beginning of the SSRI crisis, especially post-Covid. I foresee SA exploding in the coming years. 1 Zoloft 25 mg (Jan 2016) 50 mg (Feb 2016) Off Zoloft for second pregnancy (2019) Back to Zoloft 75 mg (Sept 2019) Down to 25 mg for third pregnancy (2020) 50-> 75 mg ->100 mg (Jan 2023) Felt good for long while so reduced to 75 (Nov 2023). Back up to 100 after some symptoms of anxiety (Dec 2023) 125 (Dec 2023) didn’t help so->150 (Feb 2024) Horrible reaction (almost psychosis) Doc suggested lowering Z and adding buspar. Started 2.5 mg 3x per day same day at going down to 125 mg Z. then to 100 a week later. Found SA, stopped the madness. (April 2024) 87.5 mg (August 31, 2024) 84.6 mg (Current: Natural Calm: 200 mg per day in water, 0.5 mg melatonin) Link to comment
Tweed9674 Posted May 30 Share Posted May 30 2 hours ago, ScaredDad said: My whole family listened to the call and it was so good for them. It is such a good idea. It's so much easier when everyone is on board and on the same page. I'm sorry that it's all been such a nightmare for you. I really wish I had an exact answer to all of this. Sadly, we are left with trial and error 😕 Supplements: Vit D3, Fish oil, Magnesium bisglycenate 200mg (when needed), Melatonin 1.25mg (when needed), Camomile tea (1 cup before bed), THC oil (0.03ml once a week, don't do this to yourself), Vit C 500mg a day Started effexor in 2011. Stopped effexor in 2012 (fast tamper). Got back on effexor in 2012. Tried stopping effexor again in 2014 (I'm not sure?), fast tamper again. Started effexor again in 2014. Switched to Escitalopram in 2016 I believe Stopped Escitalopram 10mg cold turkey on January 3 2024. Reinstated Escitalopram 5mg on april 2 2024. Down to 1mg on april 3 2024, 1.25mg on april 11 2024 Link to comment
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