ScaredDad: Lexapro Reinstatement Help

[Catwoman73]

36 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

No worries you can’t be everywhere at once. It was las Thursday and maybe a smaller one Friday morning. I haven’t changed anything in a while. Just holding.

Ok for some reason, I thought it was longer ago than that.  But I'm sure the fact that it's been a week feels like absolutely forever to you.  How's your diet?  Has anything changed there lately?  Have you considered trying low histamine foods to see if that might help ease symptoms a bit?  I know that has been a major factor for many long covid patients, and given the similarities to withdrawal, it might be worth a shot.  I certainly wouldn't go introducing any new foods right now, but perhaps eliminating the histamine liberators might help a bit?  Grasping here lol... eliminating some foods on a trial basis seems like a pretty benign intervention that might just pay in the long run. 

[ScaredDad]

8 hours ago, Catwoman73 said:

But I'm sure the fact that it's been a week feels like absolutely forever to you.  How's your diet?  Has anything changed there lately?  Have you considered trying low histamine foods to see if that might help ease symptoms a bit?

It truly has. It has been such a haul, new symptoms that were gone for a while are back and very fierce. Diet seems fine but probably need to clean it up. I’ve been doing decent with Whole Foods. I need to look into that though not something I’ve spent much time on.

[ScaredDad]

Hey everyone one quick comment and question as I lay here crying. 
 

my daughter had donuts with dad this morning at daycare. It was the single hardest thing I’ve ever done but I went and then lost it as my wife drove me home. She’s who I’m fighting for. 
 

I am quite sure this drug has made me worse. I was awful before reinstatement but this has been other worldly. The symptoms really didn’t go to this level until the reinstatement. I am going to do a trial cut tomorrow (80% confidence sitting with my family tonight). Let me just ask this: this drug for sure can’t kill me right? I’m not kidding when I tell you it feels like it. What about the WD? Could I have a massive seizure and die? I have to live, I have all my girls who need their dad. Please guys. please. 

 

ive been a 10 of 10 for a while now and im convinced its from the drug. Not that withdrawal would’ve been a walk. That still would’ve been 10 of 10 maybe. But this really got me, the reinstatement really sent it though the roof.

[Catina7]

@ScaredDad...thinking of you.  You have so much to live for with your beautiful family.  You're so brave for what you did this morning.

 

I personally have never heard of anyone dying from going through this.  I don't feel qualified to give you technical advice on what to do, but I can reassure you that you're going to live through it.

 

I'm sure your other supporters will chime in when they get a chance.  Please continue to hang in there as best as you can.  💗

[FindPeace]

Hey SD, so sorry to hear things are buolding to a fever pitch. I’m glad you were able to take your daughter to day care. Maybe you are still reeling from the stress of that and the emotions involved? I’ve learned that you it’s important to make decisions in a calm, rational manner. 
 

50 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

I am quite sure this drug has made me worse. I was awful before reinstatement but this has been other worldly. The symptoms really didn’t go to this level until the reinstatement.

if you are sure reinstatement has made things worse you could trial a small reduction and hold for a couple weeks to gauge the result. 

 

50 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

Let me just ask this: this drug for sure can’t kill me right? I’m not kidding when I tell you it feels like it. What about the WD? Could I have a massive seizure and die?

It won’t kill you. Seizure in WD from AD from slow tapering is highly unlikely. Hyponatremia and Serotonin Syndrome can involve seizures but that probably not what’s going on. No consolation -  I’m sure when you are suffering so much. 
 

I wish I could do more to help you. 
 

Let us know how it goes

🙏

 

[LostInCanada]

1 hour ago, ScaredDad said:

I am going to do a trial cut tomorrow (80% confidence sitting with my family tonight)

I think this would be wise. You have been on this dose for almost a month with no let up. You are safe to drop up to 10% but smaller might be more prudent to see how it goes. If you feel better at say a 2% decrease you can cut another 2% in a week. That will be easier on you. It can be reevaluated at any time. 

I know I have mentioned it previously but you may be reacting to the manufactured liquid as well. It is always an option going back to making your own. Some members have needed to do that to stabilize. You have had many changes and they all stack up: cold turkey, reinstatement, updosing with a manufacturer change. Peeling back the changes usually speeds up stability.

Thinking of you daily. ♥️🙏

[Catwoman73]

2 hours ago, ScaredDad said:

Hey everyone one quick comment and question as I lay here crying. 
 

my daughter had donuts with dad this morning at daycare. It was the single hardest thing I’ve ever done but I went and then lost it as my wife drove me home. She’s who I’m fighting for. 
 

I am quite sure this drug has made me worse. I was awful before reinstatement but this has been other worldly. The symptoms really didn’t go to this level until the reinstatement. I am going to do a trial cut tomorrow (80% confidence sitting with my family tonight). Let me just ask this: this drug for sure can’t kill me right? I’m not kidding when I tell you it feels like it. What about the WD? Could I have a massive seizure and die? I have to live, I have all my girls who need their dad. Please guys. please. 

 

ive been a 10 of 10 for a while now and im convinced its from the drug. Not that withdrawal would’ve been a walk. That still would’ve been 10 of 10 maybe. But this really got me, the reinstatement really sent it though the roof.

Oh, @ScaredDad- I'm so sorry.  I wish we had a magic wand to make all this go away for you.  

 

I am so beyond proud of you for getting through donuts with dad at your daughter's daycare.  Look how much strength you have!  Keep looking back on that moment- I know how hard it is to get through something like that when you feel like you're dying inside.  If you can get through that, you can get through ANYTHING!

 

This isn't going to kill you.  These thoughts are just the withdrawal talking.  And we are here to keep reassuring you until you come out the other side.  

 

Let us know how the reduction goes- I'm so very hopeful that you get some relief.  Hang in there, my friend!!! 

[LostInCanada]

This is a really good topic to read regarding manufacturer changes and liquid crossover. It might give you some insights.

 

 

[LotusRising]

5 hours ago, ScaredDad said:

Let me just ask this: this drug for sure can’t kill me right? I’m not kidding when I tell you it feels like it. What about the WD? Could I have a massive seizure and die? I have to live, I have all my girls who need their dad. Please guys. please. 

This drug WILL NOT kill you. I know it feels that way, but it won't happen. The WD is super uncomfortable, and saying it in those terms doesn't even come close to describing what we go through, but you WILL be okay.

 

I really like @LostInCanada's idea of trying the 2% reduction to start, to see how you do. This would be the least disruptive and easiest on your system, but this is of course, your decision. We are here to respect whatever you choose, since it is your body. 

 

Please let us know how it goes ❤️

[ScaredDad]

Thanks a ton everyone. From the bottom of my heart. Cutting through 2.5% but taking my time with it starting in the morning.

[Catwoman73]

How did the cut go today, @ScaredDad?

[ScaredDad]

@Catwoman73 I made only a very small cut at 0.02mg that I will make two more times but I mean it went well. I mean I had a better day strangely. Again, for the people in the back, I think my body hates this drug. 
 

that’s not to say WD symptoms won’t rage once I creep down… gotta find the balance.

 

thanks for checking on me. It means more than you’d know!

 

I’ll update signature as it gets rolling.

[LostInCanada]

47 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

gotta find the balance

It's not always straight forward. I envy anyone who can just do a 10% and be comfortable. Anything over 0.4% for me is rough. 

Glad the cut went well. You will get there. 👍

[Catwoman73]

1 hour ago, ScaredDad said:

@Catwoman73 I made only a very small cut at 0.02mg that I will make two more times but I mean it went well. I mean I had a better day strangely. Again, for the people in the back, I think my body hates this drug. 
 

that’s not to say WD symptoms won’t rage once I creep down… gotta find the balance.

 

thanks for checking on me. It means more than you’d know!

 

I’ll update signature as it gets rolling.

Well I'm glad you're having a better day!  I just made a cut of 5% and haven't felt my normal self since, but I've also been super busy, which always makes me feel like garbage (thanks to long covid).  So I have no idea why I feel crappy lol- nothing is simple, is it?  

 

Regardless- a window is a window, and it's great that you're having a better day, even if it has nothing to do with your tiny cut.  I hope you're getting some quality time with the family while you're feeling better!

 

And Happy Father's Day, if I don't chat with you tomorrow!

 

[ScaredDad]

1 hour ago, Catwoman73 said:

Well I'm glad you're having a better day!  I just made a cut of 5% and haven't felt my normal self since, but I've also been super busy, which always makes me feel like garbage (thanks to long covid).  So I have no idea why I feel crappy lol- nothing is simple, is it?  

 

Regardless- a window is a window, and it's great that you're having a better day, even if it has nothing to do with your tiny cut.  I hope you're getting some quality time with the family while you're feeling better!

 

And Happy Father's Day, if I don't chat with you tomorrow!

 

Aw man I’m sorry to hear you’re not feel all that great! I know I know I’m hoping it is because of the slight cut though. We will see. 
 

thank you so much! I hope you have a great Sunday as well.

[ScaredDad]

13 hours ago, LostInCanada said:

It's not always straight forward. I envy anyone who can just do a 10% and be comfortable. Anything over 0.4% for me is rough. 

Glad the cut went well. You will get there. 👍

What kind of symptom pattern do you see when you cut and what symptoms?

[FindPeace]

15 hours ago, LostInCanada said:

It's not always straight forward. I envy anyone who can just do a 10% and be comfortable. Anything over 0.4% for me is rough. 

Curious how do you measure such small reductions?

[FindPeace]

Hey Pal,

 

glad you had a bit of a better day, hoping that continues for you.

 

🙏 

[LostInCanada]

3 hours ago, ScaredDad said:

What kind of symptom pattern do you see when you cut and what symptoms?

I get an increase of cortisol shakes in the early mornings, nausea and dizziness increases, crying, a not right feeling in my head, harder to form thoughts, burning feet, feeling of doom, increased anxiety. If I cut small enough I can avoid or lessen that. If the symptoms are alot, I usually balance out in about a month.

[LostInCanada]

1 hour ago, FindPeace said:

Curious how do you measure such small reductions?

My scale reads to 0.0002 g. So I am measuring pill weight with filler. 0.0002g is about a 0.4% cut.

[ScaredDad]

She’s here and she’s beautiful. 7lbs 8oz

 

im the worst I can remember. Maybe because I didn’t sleep and this is a stressful event. My nervous system is on fire and electrical surge at the same time. Never thought this was humanly possible. 

[LostInCanada]

15 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

She’s here and she’s beautiful. 7lbs 8oz

 

Congratulations 🎉. Big hugs to all of you. 

Try to rest and turn off the world. Pace yourself as best you can. 🙏♥️🙏

[Catina7]

1 hour ago, ScaredDad said:

Maybe because I didn’t sleep and this is a stressful event

 

Yup, that'll do it alright.  Hang in there, things will get better and hopefully you'll get more rest later.

[Emonda]

2 hours ago, ScaredDad said:

She’s here and she’s beautiful. 7lbs 8oz

 

Fantastic news! Thanks for sharing this with us 🎉

 

2 hours ago, ScaredDad said:

m the worst I can remember. Maybe because I didn’t sleep and this is a stressful event

 

It's a massive event, combined with a lack of sleep and the past few months. Be kind to yourself.

[Catwoman73]

2 hours ago, ScaredDad said:

She’s here and she’s beautiful. 7lbs 8oz

 

im the worst I can remember. Maybe because I didn’t sleep and this is a stressful event. My nervous system is on fire and electrical surge at the same time. Never thought this was humanly possible. 

CONGRATULATIONS SCAREDDAD!!! 👨‍🍼  So very happy for you!

 

Of course you're struggling after such a stressful event- even if you weren't in withdrawal, you would definitely not be feeling like yourself.  Give it time, and enjoy bonding with your new baby girl on your next window!  

 

 

[LotusRising]

Big congratulations @ScaredDad! 💖

[Kaylaq]

Congratulations on your new baby girl 👏🏻👏🏻 😍  rest and be kind to yourself! 

[WillBeHereTomorrow]

Congratulations @ScaredDad, wishing you a speedy recovery and all the best to your family. 

[Sebas]

@ScaredDad if it's not something else you consume between breakfast and lunch (starting tomorrow evaluate everything in between), then i would advice you lay down and rest 30-60 minutes right after lunch to settle down CNS. In time the side effects will become less when CNS becomes less sensitive.

Bye Sebas

[ScaredDad]

15 minutes ago, Sebas said:

@ScaredDad if it's not something else you consume between breakfast and lunch (starting tomorrow evaluate everything in between), then i would advice you lay down and rest 30-60 minutes right after lunch to settle down CNS. In time the side effects will become less when CNS becomes less sensitive.

Bye Sebas

You we the man Sebas. Thanks a million.  I lay a lot of the day but I too hope it will settle with time.

[ScaredDad]

@LostInCanada

@Catwoman73

 

im holding firm here guys. I’m thinking about the liquid a lot now. If I was to do it would there be a reason to go to brand name lexapro? Or just back to Torrent manufacturer? 

[LostInCanada]

45 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

just back to Torrent manufacturer

If this was you original usual brand before you cold turkey, this is preferred since there never was a gradual crossover. 

[ScaredDad]

1 hour ago, LostInCanada said:

If this was you original usual brand before you cold turkey, this is preferred since there never was a gradual crossover. 

This was my original manufacturer. Do I need to worry about further destabilizing? How would you recommend crossing over? 

[LostInCanada]

3 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

Do I need to worry about further destabilizing?

Because you are so sensitive I would recommend the usual crossover. Will you make your own liquid?

4 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

How would you recommend crossing over? 

I would do 0.5ml of homemade (based on a 1:1 ratio) with 1.78 ml of manufactured liquid for 4 days. Then 1 ml with 1.28 ml for 4 days. Then 1.5 ml with 0.78 for 4 days. Then 2.28 ml full homemade. 

If any step causes worse symptoms you can add days to the crossover.

[LostInCanada]

It is sparingly soluble and stability of a homemade liquid is unknown. Why can't it be simple...

 

 

[ScaredDad]

Thanks @LostInCanada

 

if I did it I would be trying to stick to the pills and weigh but very unsure still.