ScaredDad: Lexapro Reinstatement Help

[Tweed9674]

8 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

@Tweed9674one new thing creeping in is tinnitus 

Oh I feel you....

I'm having a taste of that too. In my case in come is short burst of up to a few minutes then it goes away. It's sooo weird.

[ScaredDad]

@LostInCanada

@Emonda@LotusRising

URGENT

 

i have been messaging lost in Canada and moving back here for advice please I’m desperate. We moved me from 1.0mg to 2.5mg 4 doses ago and despite having a better evening yesterday I’m so concerned it’s too much as I’m turned up to 10 right now. Please see symptom tracker. Note I took the second 1.5mg later on Wednesday as I was waiting to be told to and the. Yesterday as I was getting my liquid. Including notes through Tuesday. I know consistency is key but I FREAKING out it may be too much but idk. For all I know I was getting the right dose in my self mix and now I’m getting 2.5mg of pure liquid Rx and maybe it’s dominating me? It sucks because when I look back at my window Tuesday I wonder if I moved on too quick from 1mg especially since I have liquid formula now. Please help!! New symptom tinnitus in past 24 hours 

 

 

4/30 

• Awful sleep may have slept 30 mins. So exhausted. just insane anxiety
• 700am took 1mg and then ate a banana 
• So scared about this dosing and that I’m somehow messing up the draw out or something 
• I feel awful rn. Like awful. Just laid in bed at my moms house where I’ll be the entire day until I go home 
• My life is just in complete and utter hold. If I don’t start feeling better by Sunday I’m going to have to consider longer term leave from work.
• I will try and rest a bit 
• 804: not as much of the numbness so far. More mental feeling. Higher anxiety last night with less jerks
• 824: slight teeth tingle - this has always been a thing for me when not stable and so annoying. I think some people call it burning mouth but mines never been bad enough to say burning really 
• 839: typical headache 
• 1021: feels like teeth tingle and anxiety is increasing (what do I do?!? Struggling so bad)
• 1201: got out and picked up lunch. Felt weird for a minute but also the first stimulus my brain has had since 7am so who knows. Ate and talked on the phone a bit and feel pretty dang decent. This should be where lexapro peaks in my blood right? Funny it’s lining up at a super calm time
• 102: Still feel pretty calm - teeth tingling 100% gone right now and legs feels good (main numbness area). Heart is beating slowly, consistent. Pretty big change. Obviously the dose change seems to be helping but I also think taking this week off and just RESTING is good. NO headache. Mustered up the energy to pull the laptop out and send some check in emails 
• 140: watched a video just now and laughed pretty good maintaining a smile. Refreshing 
• 254: window still sorta propped open. Therapy in 30 mins 
• 256: I feel the most HERE I have in a long time. Since before my last lexapro prior to restarting 
• 525: post getting home from therapy and picking daughter up. Started her dinner and need to lay a minute. Great day from noon on but need to ease in and not just go go because I feel ok.

5/1 was a dark day where I got freaked out early and found additional help with stabilizing. Didn’t take notes

 

5/2 Additional 1.5mg taken at 1050am

• instant mood boost from the idea I guess
• Went to lunch with Chesley and could it have been sitting outside? Maybe, but I had the most pronounced nerve tingling head to toe in a while. Just electric 124pm
• 138 laying on couch with general tingling all over and intermittent mouth tingles 
• 144 just had a bowel movement and my stool continues to be so light in color and smells SO foreign to my usual 
• 300: hmmmmmm feels like this may be a window 
• I swear to you my arms feel warm and buttery. May be fleeting at 338 DANG
• 342: parastesia is 10% of usual intensity 
• 424 window seems to be closing 

 

5/3 

• dose taken at 7am 2.5mg
• Nerve pain isn’t really all that there
• Jerks last night were awful, no sleep
• Terrified
• Zero nerve pain through 9. First time.
• Higher on the mental anxiety side. Some tooth tingling inbound. Just feel really weird.
• Talked to Karena from work for an hour who has dealt with very similar things. Now I’m a little dizzy so may have overdone it. Slight numbness on shins 
• Anxiety increasing with teeth tingling 
• Ate a sandwich for lunch. Body is calmer but brain and skin on face still struggling. I did have a strange thumb movement which creeps my out to see it flicker while I’m not moving it 
• Anxiety is INSANE 12:00
• Anxiety is down a little at 2:30 but just feel like crap
• Anxiety insane skin on fire 
• Gone at 8pm

 

5/4(better day)

• came to moms early at like 5. Took 1mg at 7 and the other 1.5 with liquid rx when I got it
• Big bad bad anxiety until finished 2.5 dose at 10 and cleared around 11.
• Felt good through 5 so far 
• Don’t forget about how good these 5 hours have been when you have a wave man
• Remember, 10 days
• Leave your own head. The body will follow. 
• Anxiety once TV went off. 

 

5/5

• 545: I am up and just went poop, didn’t sleep really at all. Poop is looking a little more normal which makes me happy
• Anxiety surprisingly not all that high at the moment
• Day 4 of 2.5mg, you have to be very patient 
• At 6am nerve pain is non existent
• Windows are a sign of healing right? So yesterday is a sign?
• Gut does seem to be healing?
• 7am dose (2.5 liquid)
• 8am general anxiety increasing now and having to lay in bed 
• No doubt nerve pain has been improving 825
• 1039 just tons of anxiety and really struggled at the grocery store 
• Anxiety is through the roof 11:47
• Anxiety through the roof 206
• 424 this all feels too much anxiety and charged up buzzing legs 

[LostInCanada]

ScaredDad wrote me mentioning "I feel like I’m plugged into an electric socket right now."

@Emonda @LotusRising to me this sounds like too high a dose. It has only been a few days at 2.5mg. Should he risk going down or stay at 2.5mg?

[ScaredDad]

4 minutes ago, LostInCanada said:

ScaredDad wrote me mentioning "I feel like I’m plugged into an electric socket right now."

@Emonda @LotusRising to me this sounds like too high a dose. It has only been a few days at 2.5mg. Should he risk going down or stay at 2.5mg?

Maybe even the fact that I was feeling pretty ok at 6am and then was lit up later? I’m worried about making too fast a move but this is insane. 

[ScaredDad]

@Emonda

@LostInCanada

@LotusRisingone last important piece maybe. Today was the first day I took I 2.5mg of pure liquid prescription lexapro. Prior was crushed pill mixed and yesterday was a combination. I don’t know if that changes anything

[LostInCanada]

33 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

Prior was crushed pill mixed and yesterday was a combination. I don’t know if that changes anything

It may. Is it the same manufacturer? for pill and liquid?

[ScaredDad]

6 minutes ago, LostInCanada said:

It may. Is it the same manufacturer? for pill and liquid?

This is now a liquid from different manufacturer.

[ScaredDad]

@LostInCanadaits just all the change! Always is. Change in pill to liquid. Change in dose. Change in manufacturer. Ahhhhh. I mean I was 70% normal last night from 11-8. What do I do?

 

at 620 eastern time I feel the worst I’ve felt since I reinstated. Despite feeling good yesterday. I just don’t understand. I’m bedridden.

[LostInCanada]

7 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

I was 70% normal last night from 11-8. What do I do

When you add up all the variables, I think holding is prudent. Generally changing over to a different manufacturer can take a couple weeks. Changing from pill to liquid can take a couple weeks. 

It's why the recommendation is not more than one change at a time for a couple weeks just till the body settles. The doctors and pharmacists never take all this into consideration. 

After my own fiasco with a manufacturer change, my doctor admitted for some it can be a big deal. 

 

[Tweed9674]

2 hours ago, LostInCanada said:

ScaredDad wrote me mentioning "I feel like I’m plugged into an electric socket right now."

@Emonda @LotusRising to me this sounds like too high a dose. It has only been a few days at 2.5mg. Should he risk going down or stay at 2.5mg?

It's also my suspicion that the dose might be a bit high. Going from 1 to 2.5 in this situation seems like is a fairly big jump to me. It's not easy to track what cause what 😐 

 

 It could be the change from the homemade mix to the liquid form... It could also be that the 2.5mg dose building up in your system is a bit too much. There's a lot of variables at play, it's hard to tell what the best move is.

 

Do you feel like your symptoms are completely different from when you were at 10mg?

[ScaredDad]

@Tweed9674it feels a lot more like the 10mg than the 1mg to be honest with you. I can’t shed a tear now and I just feel kinda lit up. I’m freaking out about it. 

[ScaredDad]

@Emonda

@LotusRisinganything from you guys? Next dose is in 10 hours and scared

[LostInCanada]

@ScaredDad 

2 hours ago, ScaredDad said:

it feels a lot more like the 10mg than the 1mg

This is telling. In the end you have to follow your gut on this one. The increase has only been 4 days. If you go back to 1 mg, you are going to have to stick with it consistently so we can figure out what works or doesn’t work. You will have good and bad days. It comes with this insanity but you have to push through it without just reacting. Rating symptoms 1-10 helps to figure out the pattern as well. Can you stay at a steady dose for a good month if you drop to 1mg? 

[Emonda]

Sorry for my slow reply. I've been tied up with work.

 

6 hours ago, LostInCanada said:

I feel like I’m plugged into an electric socket right now.

 

3 hours ago, ScaredDad said:

it feels a lot more like the 10mg than the 1mg to be honest with you

 

All happened after increasing the dose from 1mg to 2.5mg, right? Did I read you developed tinnitus, too, after increasing the dose?

 

I had a similar response to reinstating the same drug to 5mg, years back. Buzzing, tinnitus etc. I stopped the drug, and the doctor gave me another AD that was going to magically fix me (I am not suggesting you try something else! - and it wasn't a magic new drug, either) 

 

5 hours ago, LostInCanada said:

to me this sounds like too high a dose

 

3 hours ago, Tweed9674 said:

Going from 1 to 2.5 in this situation seems like is a fairly big jump to me.

 

I agree with these two comments, but I didn't want to contradict your new doctor, when you told us what you had decided.

 

When people ask about increasing their dose, generally, it'd be by no more than 10% to test the response...hold for a few weeks and increase again if needed. Much the same logic as decreasing the dose.

 

Also, as the others have said, it's best to only change one thing at a time so you can monitor for adverse outcomes. You seem to have changed three variables (dose, manufacturer, and pill to liquid), so it's a guess what the problem was. Maybe all three?

 

37 minutes ago, LostInCanada said:

In the end you have to follow your gut on this one.

 

I'd have stayed at 1mg, and tested the waters with a 10% increase...but I'm not the doctor.

 

I'm sorry you are in this position. We've all been there.

[ScaredDad]

9 hours ago, LostInCanada said:

@ScaredDad Can you stay at a steady dose for a good month if you drop to 1mg? 

I don’t have a choice now. It’s either that or just pull off to withdrawal. Which I’ve certainly considered a few times sadly.

 

to be honest with everyone at 1mg it felt like I was still withdrawing but at 2.5mg it felt more like being charged. Obviously it would take a while to find the spot but I think homeostasis is somewhere in between there. 
 

my biggest fear on earth is spending a year suffering unable to work in reinstatement only to be unsuccessful 

[Catwoman73]

46 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

I don’t have a choice now. It’s either that or just pull off to withdrawal. Which I’ve certainly considered a few times sadly.

 

to be honest with everyone at 1mg it felt like I was still withdrawing but at 2.5mg it felt more like being charged. Obviously it would take a while to find the spot but I think homeostasis is somewhere in between there. 
 

my biggest fear on earth is spending a year suffering unable to work in reinstatement only to be unsuccessful 

I would never tell you what to do- I'm still learning and figuring this all out too... but if you decide to drop, what about going slightly higher than 1.0?  Maybe 1.1?  If you felt like you were withdrawing on 1.0, maybe increasing by just 10% would be a good place to start?  I dunno... I just want you to get some relief!

 

I completely understand your fears about not being able to work.  I was terrified when I went on LTD for long covid.  I can now see it was for the best though.  Do you have the ability to access some kind of longer term paid sick leave?  I just want to reassure you that if you are unable to work for a longer period of time, it's not a failure.  It's just self care, and that's a totally acceptable thing!  

 

Sending you virtual hugs!!!

[ScaredDad]

@Catwoman73so I went back and forth and back and forth with my wife and we decided to take the 2.5mg one more time at least, see how I do, and im speaking with my doctor tonight. Some things are better, like the nerve pain has subsided greatly, it’s just strange. I will trying and come up with a plan and will let everyone know what I do. I was too scared to make a quick decision to go to 1 or 1.2 or 1.5 or anything and then speak to my doctor and get different advice and rip the dose another way. 
 

it’s scary and I hate it but it felt like the most right decision given all the data I have. I will say that deep down it seems like the number is definitely over 1 but maybe somewhere just south of 2.5 but I can’t make that call right now without my doctor. 
 

I have 2 more weeks of sick time left so hopefully I get some relief but if not I’ll apply for ST Disability which is paid. I’m sending virtual hugs back!

[LotusRising]

@ScaredDad

 

I just want to be clear on what's happened. So, you tapered from February to end of April? What day did you stop taking lexapro and at what dose?

[ScaredDad]

@LotusRisingi took the last one April 8 at 2.5mg. Was taking 5 about a week and half before that. 

[ScaredDad]

@LotusRisingagain, lots of the withdrawal stuff is gone now I just feel highly pressurized in face head and chest with charge of some sort. 
 

almost feels like how it would be to take an adderall or something after not sleeping for a week, tired can’t think, fatigue, but insomnia and some kind of charge. I will say at like 10am this was a little worse but as time goes on it’s like my brain is cracking (a good crack?) and the pressure may be being released. Hard to tell. Adjusting? Problem everything is subject to change every 30 mins.

 

also to be clear I wasn’t like stable at 2.5mg, I was just told by my gp doctor this whole time this was all my anxiety. Never ONCE did I think it was withdrawal. 

[LotusRising]

45 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

I was just told by my gp doctor this whole time this was all my anxiety. Never ONCE did I think it was withdrawal. 

I can't tell you how frustrated I feel every time I hear this. I'm sorry this is happening.

 

So April 23 you reinstated 10mg, it was too much, you dropped to 1mg Apr 28 and then increased to 2.5mg May 2? Do I have that right?

[ScaredDad]

3 minutes ago, LotusRising said:

I can't tell you how frustrated I feel every time I hear this. I'm sorry this is happening.

 

So April 23 you reinstated 10mg, it was too much, you dropped to 1mg Apr 28 and then increased to 2.5mg May 2? Do I have that right?

You are 100% correct. Again the strange like I can’t walk stuff and temp changes and weird stuff is gone at the movement. I just have suchhhhhh a bad headache (part of the kind of charge I talk about) and can’t sleep with pending doom, although it seems the lexapro mayyyyy be starting to edge off anxiety at times?

 

im at a loss because im scared to give up where i am if i just stay here and start improving as my body adjusts.

[LotusRising]

@ScaredDad

 

Ok, so your dose should be starting to hit steady state in the next 2-5 days. It sounds like in general, symptoms are improving. Is that right?

[ScaredDad]

@LotusRisingit depends on the moment you get me to be honest. When I first brought this all back up yesterday I was convinced I was the worst I’ve been the whole time. Very well still think I may have been. Same with me two hours ago but as I sit here, the nerve pain in my legs and arms is gone, my head hurts more than ever, I can’t sleep or think, and I have loads of anxiety but I mean part of me may agree it’s getting better but I’m having a hard time seeing it? I honestly don’t know. Is it possible the serotonin is building up in my body (nerve pain gone and instability clearing slightly) and now it just has to in my brain?

 

the problem is I could put my phone down and come back here in two hours convinced I’m the worst shape again. When I drove to my parents at 5am this morning I was wrecked. Wrecked. 
 

I just get scared if I need to reduce in two days that I may have “kindled” myself into oblivion if that’s even how it works. 

[LotusRising]

Have you tried keeping a log of your symptoms? Maybe rating them on a scale of 1-10 to see if you can establish a pattern. I agree, it can be hard to know what to do. I can only speak from my own experience of reinstatement and for me, I knew immediately that it was too much. My symptoms skyrocketed.

 

Do you recall how you felt when you initially started lexapro? Did you have these similar headaches?

[ScaredDad]

@LotusRisingthe issue is I think I’ve built in way too much tolerance for symptoms. To be honest it was pretty bad, I was an anxious mess coming off an alcohol bender. So yeah I do think I had headaches. 

[ScaredDad]

Hey everyone, looking for words of encouragement and I’m sorry I have to do this so much. Here are my notes from yesterday. Does this sound like progress? I had a decent day but then had a weird “dream” as falling asleep that sent me into a panic the entire night resulting in no sleep. Today will mark day 6 at 2.5mg but only day 3 taking the liquid. I just get SO scared I won’t get better and it eats me alive. 
 

5/6

• 7am 2.5mg dose (2nd day full liquid Rx)
• Anxiety increasing 9:04
• Teeth tingling and head pressure 
• 920 anxiety is just steadily increasing 
• I can barely move my head now without feeling like it’ll explode 931
• Time moving backwards 
• Let’s talk about this tho which is so weird. Heart rate is low, nerve pain is low.
• Anxiety head pressure and teeth tingle high. Day 5 so reaching peak blood concentrations or close
• Felt like a window opening now met with anxiety like the OG stuff 
• Headache taming? Moving, reshaping 
• Been in a window I think since like 1130
• 12:00 ate, went to the house to shower and then grocery store surprisingly 
• Body is so calm 2:15
• Head tightness and anxiety starting slightly 3:06
• Physical anxiety popping up and running through head and mouth 326 
• Subsided slightly. Got hungry as anything out of no where and ate a burrito 340
• I think I’m still in the window btw just hints of the anxiety trying to break through 
• I mean still fine at 715 although anxiety is floating 
• still pretty ok ish through 9
• 1015pm night terror almost. Weird dream thinking I took wrong doses sent body into a fury

[LotusRising]

This sounds positive @ScaredDad.

 

No need to be sorry about asking for encouragement.

 

We're here to help you and reassurance is part of supporting you  

[Catwoman73]

This does all sound really great @ScaredDad!

Didn't you meet with the Dr last night?  How did that go?  Any recommendations for you?

[ScaredDad]

@Catwoman73i did and the plan is to hold. I’m just in a constant battle of if I’m too high of a dose right now. I had a decent day yesterday compared to others but I’m just beside myself over the dose stuff. Please someone tell if I’m a little too high I can still stabilize 

[Catwoman73]

Just now, ScaredDad said:

@Catwoman73i did and the plan is to hold. I’m just in a constant battle of if I’m too high of a dose right now. I had a decent day yesterday compared to others but I’m just beside myself over the dose stuff. Please someone tell if I’m a little too high I can still stabilize 

Did he say anything about your concerns that your dose is too high?

 

I know it's hard to be rational right now, feeling the way you are.  But when I start getting into these obsessive thought patterns, I like to play the what if game.  In your case- WHAT IF your dose is too high?  Well, I will stabilize, even if the dose is too high.  It will take longer.  So, WHAT IF it takes longer?  Well, it will be awful, but I will get through it.  Because I have gotten through it so far.  It's almost like reasoning with yourself.  And you may have to do it over and over and over, but forcing yourself into a logical frame of mind like this can be helpful.  Again- I totally understand that it is VERY difficult to get into this mindset right now, but it's just a tool you could try.

 

I wish I had more to offer you... withdrawal is so cruel.  Sending hugs...

[ScaredDad]

@Catwoman73 the problem is I had such a good day yesterday I didn’t go on to talk about the dose amounts. I couldn’t go to the grocery store with my family Sunday but yesterday went a line no problem. It just felt like everything was right. Consensus was there are waves and windows and to hold. Everything just comes in waves. I really appreciate the insight into the way too look at it. This has been such a battle. I never in a million years would’ve thought this would happen to me..

 

to be honest with you I am like a day away from steady state dose in my blood and it seems like that may be more important at the moment. I haven’t had steady state since I started back 15 days ago,

 

sending hugs back!

[LostInCanada]

@ScaredDad in answer to your private message:

My experience was this:

5 mg stopped the SI and dp/dr but it caused nausea, dizziness, crying or at least amped those up. Personally I wish I knew to reinstate lower. The site was not open to members until 2 months after my reinstatement. I know the 5 mg definitely was hard on my CNS and affects my recovery. I am sure it is why I am still so sensitive.

 

You have to weigh out your own specific symptoms and make an informed decision. We have been led to believe more is better. I know from experience this is not so.

[ScaredDad]

@LostInCanadaim messaging my care team now. When is it too late to lower? Ever? Sheeeesh I’m concerned this is awful. Again, have had good periods, for sure am in a really bad one now. 
 

I’m also young like wouldn’t my body be able to fight Buh 😢

[LostInCanada]

3 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

When is it too late to lower

Today is day 6 for you taking 2.5 mg. It takes 7-10 for a steady blood plasma. That is cutting it close to make a change. If you decide to now, the most I would do would be 10% putting your dose at 2.25 mg. I would be concerned to do more than that now. It has been alot of changes.

8 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

I’m also young like wouldn’t my body be able to fight

You are young and being patient six months and then doing a slow taper might seem like forever but it isn't. I do think once stabilized , being young will be in your favor.

[ScaredDad]

@LostInCanadathanks for the response. I’m just not able to work right now so have to figure it out. I again just feel like the withdrawal symptoms are kind of gone and now I’m just in amped up mode. Does that make sense? 
 

Is that ever a thing that people do? Wait the 10 days and make a slight reduction to find the dose when reinstating? I just wish I went to 1.5 and not 2.5 but I’m sure I’d be in a similar boat if that wasn’t enough wanting to increase.  At first I didn’t feel like it was too much but as it builds I wonder. But why did I have a decent day yesterday? Ah

 

i do KNOW that the answer is not increasing right now. I KNOW that