ScaredDad: Lexapro Reinstatement Help

[LostInCanada]

19 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

Has anyone else here had bad sensitivities

So many of us for various things. Anything citrus causes issues for me. I took 1/2 a child's Benadryl for multiple wasp stings and I was activated for a month.

22 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

if I do the right thing and stop upsetting my cns it should start healing?

Yes, time, acceptance, patience 👍

[Catwoman73]

59 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

Also, I am so scared about getting disability denied after reading all the crap you have to satisfy to the insurance company for "anxiety". My writeup looks more like withdrawal injury and there isn't much precedent for that so we are adjusting it a little. 

My doctor continues to write depression/anxiety on all my disability forms (In addition to long covid).  At first, it pissed me off, because I am neither of those things.  But then I just let it go, because it's a means to an end.  If having a couple of things wrong with me gets me approved, and keeps the money coming in while I try to heal. so be it.  I've never liked any form of dishonesty, but I suppose that it isn't entirely dishonest- I do have mental health issues... it's just not what my family doc and my insurance company think!  In my opinion, you are suffering from anxiety- they don't have to know that the anxiety has been induced by psychiatric drug withdrawal.  If Dr. Josef is going to assist you with your paperwork, I have no doubt he will be able to sell it.  

 

23 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

Has anyone else here had bad sensitivities? Because I have this I’m convinced I’m doomed…  I can FEEL the sensitivity. Whether it’s in my face and head, teeth, tinnitus. I can feel it on guard. I’m literally convinced the face lotion I put on last night made my lips numb. This is insane! I could drink 4 cups of coffee a day two months ago.

 

but if I do the right thing and stop upsetting my cns it should start healing? I think the reduction is helping with this

I have so many crazy sensitivities.  I can't take ANYTHING anymore.  Coffee makes me feel like my throat is closing, and makes me gag.  Magnesium gives me almost a mild form of brain zaps.  Advil makes my stomach cramp like crazy.  So it is possible that that face cream did make your lips feel weird/numb.  I use extremely mild skin care and hair care products now, and I've learned not to take ANYTHING unless I'm in unbearable pain or in danger.  I think being extremely gentle and slow with everything to do, every product you use or take is a prudent choice when your NS is so sensitized.

[ScaredDad]

3 minutes ago, Catwoman73 said:

 I think being extremely gentle and slow with everything to do, every product you use or take is a prudent choice when your NS is so sensitized.

I know we don’t know know each other but let me just tell you that you are one of the most comforting people I know. The way you speak to me about these things feels so motherly it almost makes me want to cry. You and @lostincanada are live savers for me! 

[Catwoman73]

6 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

I know we don’t know know each other but let me just tell you that you are one of the most comforting people I know. The way you speak to me about these things feels so motherly it almost makes me want to cry. You and @lostincanada are live savers for me! 

Now you're making me cry lol!  I've been doing that for about half an hour anyway... my neighbourhood is super noisy today, and it has me all activated. 😫 I'm glad I can help a bit.  I'm grateful to be in a relatively stable place right now, so it's nice to be able to be there for others.  That was the best part of my job when I was working, and I miss that.  I don't miss the politics and the bull$hit fighting, and working short staffed lol, but the helping part was always therapeutic.  

[LostInCanada]

38 minutes ago, Catwoman73 said:

throat is closing, and makes me gag

I have so much if this as well. Also oatmeal, any type does this to me and it is supposed to be good for people with allergies....ugh

[Catwoman73]

1 minute ago, LostInCanada said:

I have so much if this as well. Also oatmeal, any type does this to me and it is supposed to do good for people with allergies....ugh

That's funny- I eat oatmeal religiously!  I even grind it up and use it in place of flour in cookie recipes.  I miss my coffee though- it was one of those comforting rituals that I used to have- coffee, cat cuddles and good book.  

[ScaredDad]

@Catwoman73im reading up on some of these insane symptoms and long covid and ssri withdrawal are so similar it is insane

[Catwoman73]

3 hours ago, ScaredDad said:

@Catwoman73im reading up on some of these insane symptoms and long covid and ssri withdrawal are so similar it is insane

Yes, they are lol!  It makes the journey very interesting.  There are some symptoms that are very distinctly long covid for me- I have right sided headaches that extend to my ear and jaw- I think it's trigeminal neuralgia, the chest pressure and shortness of breath, the postural hypotension and the fact that I turn completely blue and almost pass out every time my heart rate goes over 125.  And then there's the distinctly withdrawal stuff- the irritability/anger, brain zaps.  But everything else- fatigue, brain fog, internal shakiness, weakness, muscle and joint pain, post exertional malaise, sadness and crying, sensitivity to medications and supplements, and DP/DR that could be either.  I've stopped trying to figure it out at this point.  The treatment is the same either way- rest, sleep, good diet, adequate hydration, and mindful practices.  

 

It kind of makes sense that they are similar, I guess- both are injuries to all body systems, particularly the nervous system.  

[ScaredDad]

@Emonda@LotusRising

@LostInCanada

@Catwoman73

 

mods and other support. As you know I have been cutting ever so slightly to get to a more tolerable dose in the fear I’ll never get better if this dose is activating me. I do feel in ways that when I take I my dose at 7am I begin to have an uptick in symptoms following it. To be honest I don’t know if that is just from morning cortisol increase or what. I am suffering so immensely that I am having a hard time believing just withdrawing off this is worse than what I am doing, understanding it could last much longer. 
 

im on pure fire at times. I just need more reassurance. If I stay here at 2.40mg, even if there is some activation, will I stabilize? Ever? Or is what the site meaning that if you are too high in dose you are doomed? That is what it feels like to me but I would think your brain would adjust.

 

i say stay at 2.40 because im starting to feel withdrawal symptoms I can’t deal with.

[ScaredDad]

It won’t let me edit that post. Symptoms that increase are: urination, anxiety, myoclonic jerks, and headache when trying to rest eyes and body. I have been taking my dose at 7 am and laying in bed with eyes closed from 7-10 or 11 for two weeks.

[Catwoman73]

4 hours ago, ScaredDad said:

@Emonda@LotusRising

@LostInCanada

@Catwoman73

 

mods and other support. As you know I have been cutting ever so slightly to get to a more tolerable dose in the fear I’ll never get better if this dose is activating me. I do feel in ways that when I take I my dose at 7am I begin to have an uptick in symptoms following it. To be honest I don’t know if that is just from morning cortisol increase or what. I am suffering so immensely that I am having a hard time believing just withdrawing off this is worse than what I am doing, understanding it could last much longer. 
 

im on pure fire at times. I just need more reassurance. If I stay here at 2.40mg, even if there is some activation, will I stabilize? Ever? Or is what the site meaning that if you are too high in dose you are doomed? That is what it feels like to me but I would think your brain would adjust.

 

i say stay at 2.40 because im starting to feel withdrawal symptoms I can’t deal with.

I'm no expert, and still learning lots too.  But I think optimizing your dose speeds up the process of stabilizing, but regardless, you WILL stabilize!  You are not doomed.  Even if you are 0.1mg too high.  It just might take a bit longer.  Take a big deep breath, and remind yourself that you have time.  You'll be starting the STD process, if you haven't already, so there's no rush.  You can let your body heal at its own pace.  

 

Remember how you said you felt a tiny bit better yesterday?  That was a window!  Windows don't have to be completely symptom free... just a lightening of the load.  You had a decent window, and that's a good sign.  Just hang in there, and when you're at your worst, remind yourself over and over and over that EVERYTHING is temporary.  The bad moments don't last- you've proven that over and over again.  Thinking of you, and sending hugs!

[LostInCanada]

3 hours ago, ScaredDad said:

I have been taking my dose at 7 am and laying in bed with eyes closed from 7-10 or 11 for two weeks.

So you were better at 1 mg correct? Because you have been at this high dose for 2 weeks your body will not be fully dependent on it until one to two months is my understanding. Is that correct @LotusRising @Emonda. In an adverse reaction situation, if symptoms do not get worse after a drop, the drops can be done faster than once a month at 10% . If it were me I would fully drop to the 2.25 mg. If nothing worsens in a week, I would drop again 10%. Then reaccess. I would also go back to making my own liquid immediately. I believe in undoing all the things that led to this.

[ScaredDad]

@LostInCanadaThank you so much for insight. I will wait and see what they say too but finish going to 2.25 tomorrow.

[LotusRising]

10 hours ago, ScaredDad said:

I do feel in ways that when I take I my dose at 7am I begin to have an uptick in symptoms following it.

How soon after taking your medication do you get an uptick in symptoms? Is it the same every day?

[ScaredDad]

@LotusRising1-2 hours and yes l. Again some of it could be the waking but idk anymore. My worst time of symptoms is between when I take it and when I’d have a window if I do 5-6 hours later. Haven’t had one in a while. Last Friday I believe.

 

i take it. I’m exhausted so I lay down. And in an hour I start urinating more and the anxiety headache and teeth tingle come in. If I try to close my eyes I get twitches and jerks.

[LotusRising]

10 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

And in an hour I start urinating more and the anxiety headache and teeth tingle come in. If I try to close my eyes I get twitches and jerks.

I think I've asked you this, but did you get these same symptoms when you reinstated the 10mg on April 23? You were on 10mg from Apr 23-28?

[ScaredDad]

@LotusRisingfrom the best if my memory yes that is all correct. When I took the 10 initially it honestly felt pretty good but towards the end I was activated. I didn’t have the same pattern tho as I was still marginally functional when I went through the 10 until the end of it.

[ScaredDad]

@LotusRising

@Emonda

@LostInCanada

 

team i am getting advice again it’s best for me to split dose. I know how @LostInCanada feels and just want additional advice. Please advise asap!! 

[ScaredDad]

@LostInCanadamade it to 2.30 today will finish tomorrow to 2.25mg. Too sacred to drop all the way 

[ScaredDad]

1 hour ago, ScaredDad said:

@LotusRising

@Emonda

@LostInCanada

 

team i am getting advice again it’s best for me to split dose. I know how @LostInCanada feels and just want additional advice. Please advise asap!! 

Starting to think there just no way I can do this. If I have reactions to the med this would just cause less intense ones but all day long. Doesn’t fix that I’m too high. Which is what lostincanada said originally

[Catwoman73]

1 hour ago, ScaredDad said:

@LotusRising

@Emonda

@LostInCanada

 

team i am getting advice again it’s best for me to split dose. I know how @LostInCanada feels and just want additional advice. Please advise asap!! 

That's a tough one!  I hope the mods have some good thoughts on this.  My gut is saying that it's yet another change at a time when you need stability, but I just don't know.  Your situation is so difficult!

[ScaredDad]

@Catwoman73i agree 

[LotusRising]

Sorry I didn't respond sooner! I had very busy evening.

 

I would tend to agree with @LostInCanada. Although splitting the dose might in theory make the reaction less intense it doesn't change the fact that the dose is too high. Where are you hearing advice to split the dose?

[Alfred1977]

Hey @ScaredDad

 

a couple of weeks ago I also raised my dose quite heavily. This gave me a lot of insomnia, anxiety and tension. Cortisol spikes and thinking I can taste cortisol in my mouth etc. After 4-5 weeks symptoms settled down. It's not like I am feeling good, but tension and anxiety are significantly less.

 

I think I have seen this a couple of times with my mother (who is taking ADs for over 40 years) and also with people here in this community. Updosing ADs can really turn up the stress and often things settle down after a couple of weeks. Maybe this is also the reason why ADs are associated with increased risk of suicide especially at the beginning of treatment.

 

If you hold out for another 2-3 weeks, everything might be ok. Why did you increase your dose so heavily? In my case it was the hope for faster recovery and the fact that at the time I had neither the knowledge nor the means to dose more gradually.

 

Sometimes I think no matter how you do it, it's gonna be wrong. Jumping with your dose upwards gets punished with a massive surge in stress, anxiety and insomnia. And dosing up slowly keeps you suffering from withdrawal and panicking that you will never recover from it.

 

I hope you feel better soon.

[ScaredDad]

Hey @Alfred1977. Thanks for your message. It was at the advice of my doctor and yes I think also the idea of getting better faster.. all my life is now is regret. Regret I started it, regret I quit it, regret I reinstated to high, then down then up and just all regret. 
 

from many I’ve talked to it seems the body will always heal no matter if you are a little too high. It just may be more uncomfortable and let me tell you, I am very uncomfortable. Basically bed bound at the moment. I do think I can still heal though. I so appreciate the message. I need all the reassurance I can get. I’m living in a nightmare.

[LostInCanada]

@ScaredDad @LotusRising

This is from ScaredDad's pm to me 

'yeah I did because I wanted support from the team but their concern is I’m too sensitized to move just yet and need to a hold a tad longer. There was a suggestion to consider splitting dose to smooth it out over my system. Maybe start with a tight split and slowly pull them further apart. So many options for changes whether it’s dose, medication maker or liquid, timing, splits, and NOW I know why is the 3 S rule. I’m trying to be SLOW'

My response was:

"  On 5/12/2024 at 10:29 AM, ScaredDad said:

consider splitting dose

 

I absolutely do not recommend this. The half life is 27-33 hours. This is just an unnecessary complication in my opinion. Also if they think splitting the dose will help your system smooth out they should just agree with lowering the dose. It is so easy for people to make clinical decisions when it doesn't affect them. My opinion."

 

 

[ScaredDad]

53 minutes ago, LotusRising said:

Sorry I didn't respond sooner! I had very busy evening.

 

I would tend to agree with @LostInCanada. Although splitting the dose might in theory make the reaction less intense it doesn't change the fact that the dose is too high. Where are you hearing advice to split the dose?

Just an option floated by my care team to be easier on the CNS. I think I’d rather regulate at a lower dose. I’ve slowly moved from 2.50 to 2.30 with 2.25 tomorrow. I’ll hold for a week there and see what happens… I think I’ve been feeling better as I moved down. I’m also convinced that even if it eases stuff for me I’ll just have to deal with it all day then.

[Alfred1977]

1 minute ago, ScaredDad said:

from many I’ve talked to it seems the body will always heal no matter if you are a little too high. It just may be more uncomfortable and let me tell you, I am very uncomfortable. Basically bed bound at the moment. I do think I can still heal though. I so appreciate the message. I need all the reassurance I can get. I’m living in a nightmare.

 

Most of the first 5 weeks I spent in bed. And also now I am resting a lot. It's difficult to judge from far away...however, completely "freaking out" after raising ADs heavily seems to be not unusual to me...and I also believe that people usually see improvement after 4-5 weeks.

[LostInCanada]

3 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

easier on the CNS.

What would have been easier on the CNS was not such a huge jump. It is such a problem when doctors think more is better. 

That is why I went from 5 mg to 10 mg after my CT, the suggestion of my doctor. Huge mistake for me. 

I am sure I asked you before, who is the manufacturer of your pill form? Who is the manufacturer of the liquid? 

[ScaredDad]

5 minutes ago, LostInCanada said:

What would have been easier on the CNS was not such a huge jump. It is such a problem when doctors think more is better. 

That is why I went from 5 mg to 10 mg after my CT, the suggestion of my doctor. Huge mistake for me. 

I am sure I asked you before, who is the manufacturer of your pill form? Who is the manufacturer of the liquid? 

Pill was torrent and liquid is camber. Guys if it was up to me I’d drop to like 1.50mg tomorrow I am so scared I doomed my self I feel like s**t. I have moments. Like 6-9 last night where I was like ok I’m good but this has been bad bad bad. Took 2.30 this morning and for a bit I was like ok not as bad but now I have a screaming migraine and increased dizziness. Idk though because I wasn’t doing amazing in 1.00mg either but I didn’t have all this. At what point does it ever make sense to drop off entirely like what the heck do I do,

[LostInCanada]

@ScaredDad when we go through this we are so vulnerable and tend to doubt ourselves. Indecision is also so strong. Knowledge is power. You are doing really great and asking all the right questions. You got this. 👍💯♥️

[ScaredDad]

@LostInCanadathank you so much. I just updated response to you there as well. Like am I better being activate a bit and waiting for brain to adjust or going down and withdrawing into my dose? Idk anymore. I know I need to be cautious but this stuff with dependency makes me worried 

[LostInCanada]

1 minute ago, ScaredDad said:

Pill was torrent and liquid is camber.

@LotusRising do you think it would be better for @ScaredDadto be making his own liquid using the original manufacturer?

[ScaredDad]

@LotusRising

@LostInCanadamy only concern is dosing accuracy. I also feel like the is related to the increase and not so much the switch but I couldn’t tell you. This just all fell on me 😔 would there ever be a time when you say to taper off quickly and stop reinstatement? It scares me but sometimes it feel like all I may have left if I’m too activated. I am doing ever so slightly better today than yesterday. What does that mean? Idk. Soon here once I’m not “as activated” I know I’m gonna have to commit to a long hold. I just know it would have SUCKED at 2.50

 

i am telling you guys every time I cut my morning gets a little better. Every time

[ScaredDad]

@LostInCanada

@LotusRising

@Catwoman73

im sending in another donation because you all. I wish I could put your names in it but know it is solely because of you all

[LotusRising]

13 minutes ago, ScaredDad said:

I am doing ever so slightly better today than yesterday.

What does every so slightly better mean?

 

@LostInCanada I'm not sure. I'm mostly concerned about all the changes.

 

@ScaredDad if you're not sure whether this is the dose amount or the change to liquid, it might be in your best interest to hold at 2.25mg for a week to see how you're doing. I'm concerned you won't know if decreasing is helping because you're not taking time in between to see if there's a result. We know it takes the body at least 4-7 days to recognize and adjust to a dose change.