Lovofsun: Life after my crash... (The Withdrawal)

[Lovofsun]

Loveofsun's Introduction topic is: Loveofsun: Hello

 

Hiya! 

I wanted to drop in after 9 years of being told to just come off Paroxetine...  

This message will be short but I promise you it is a good message 


So after being told in April 2015 to come off by AD's, I was told to go from 20mg to 10mg and wait a month and then from 10mg to nothing. Well as you all know this is NOT the way to come off and medication let alone AD's!

Fast forward to August of 2015 and I felt like I had been ran over and the world was out to get me, the withdrawal was in full swing, I couldn't eat without feeling unwell, I couldn't swallow properly, I had head zaps and even benign seizures.
I tried everything to get back to normal fast, I went on diets, tried all kinds of herbal remedies and in the process made myself worse by losing 10st in weight and because I would not leave the house I lost muscle mass and struggled with POTS.

All this went on till 2019, I visited A&E over 200 times as I thought I was dying and the hospital was very close to sectioning me but I somehow got out of it every time they tried too.

And then out the blue something changed, It was like a blanket was lifted from me in October of 2019, I began to feel normal (ish), I still was weak, had no muscles in my legs and a diet that was very bland but I felt a change in me.

I began to feel like i was on the way to being normal and the road a head seemed more cheery! 

BUT then Covid hit, I panicked!  I felt like I was going to lose any progress I was making BUT the strangest thing was, it made things better! I started doing mini workouts with the kids in lockdown, I introduced more foods to my diet, I put on 5st in a year and a half and I felt better than I ever did!  Then I got covid...

I crashed, I felt like I had the life taken out of me, for 6 months I felt like I had zero energy and could not eat again... Back to bland foods and restricted diets for them 6 months. After them 6 months, I started to feel normal again (my normal)...  Fast forward to today!

I can not say I'm back to myself like when I was on AD's, but I feel human again!  I still have racing heart issues like POTS but its not as bad as when I first had it and Salt and fluids help it, I still have pains all over and everything is really heightened (Like a simple knock to the fingers feels like a break). I also have Acid reflux that caused the issues with swallowing at the beginning and now I know what the cause is I know how to deal with it. 

I have allergies I never used to have, like wheat, milk and eggs lol... They are not killer allergies but enough to give me bad stomachs and tight/itching throat

I can not regulate my body temperature all to well but my son who is 16 has the same issue so I think its something in the family, Raynaud is what he was diagnosed with and I have the same 🫣

And I have IBS, its not to bad but can be a right pain if i'm caught short needing the toilet 😶‍🌫️ 

There are a number of other changes that my body did but they are just the new normal for me.


I know, I know these are worries for some BUT please know they are not as bad as they seem!  Im very much human again and im so happy to be off AD's and medication free!  Everything I suffer from is controlled now by diet and self help like meditation and some herbal remedies... Due to PTSD of coming off the AD's I struggle to trust any drugs the Dr's give me so I try to help myself in anyway I can before I take anything they want to give me

So the moral of this short message is: Everything will be ok!  I never thought I would get through it but I did!  I'm here and i'm cracking on with my new 6 figure business and have a soon to be wife plus 2 amazing children that I owe my life to as they really made it possible to fight what I went through!  

Please, if I was to ask you to do one thing... Just stay positive in knowing it all will be ok in the end and you will feel that blanket lift! It just takes time.


God bless you, have a great day and you are ALL in my thoughts and prayers with healing being sent to you all!

Chris

Edited May 28 by manymoretodays
added in link to members Introduction, and name to title-mmt

[manymoretodays]

Thanks for coming back and posting @Lovofsun

And thrilled to hear of your Success and endurance.

Congratulations on your upcoming marriage and back to cracking with work!

Great story!

(((((hugs))))))

Love, peace, healing, and growth,

manymoretodays(mmt)

*  When and how did you get off the Paxil completely?  And please don't be embarrassed if you did not.  It sure sounded like you were going to go the distance and had.  And you mention:

  

5 hours ago, Lovofsun said:

I can not say I'm back to myself like when I was on AD's, but I feel human again!

 

  Did you do a more judicious taper for the last 10 mg, or benefit from anything read here on tapering?  On a reread, I'm just wondering now.  It's not in your signature, a final date of your AD, or in your narrative above.   Thanks in advance.

Edited May 28 by manymoretodays
in black

[BooBoo19]

Thank you for coming back and sharing your success story. I am 3 1/2 years from a CT,  at times I have given up hope of ever recovering as my resilience is so low.  I wish none of us ever had to go through this and I like you, I will  never trust the medical professionals or drugs again, never again will I take a psychiatric drug. It is good to know you recovered after a long period of time as it is so important for those of us who are taking much longer to recover that it will happen Thank you.

 

I wish you and your family a very happy life, enjoy every minute of it. I intend to when I finally get there. x

[Lovofsun]

On 5/28/2024 at 6:37 PM, manymoretodays said:

When and how did you get off the Paxil completely?  And please don't be embarrassed if you did not.  It sure sounded like you were going to go the distance and had.  And you mention:  

 

  Did you do a more judicious taper for the last 10 mg, or benefit from anything read here on tapering?  On a reread, I'm just wondering now.  It's not in your signature, a final date of your AD, or in your narrative above.   Thanks in advance.

Hiya, sorry for the late reply, I have had no time to check this forum since I posted.

So my last Paroxetine was in 2015, after that I have not touched an AD since...  The doctor I was seeing at the time told me that 10mg was such a low dose that just stopping it would be fine so around the end of April 2015 I just stopped.

Just dropped the packet of tablets in the bin and thought nothing of it till about a week or so later when the head zaps were so intense I felt like I was going to black out every time, then I knew something was wrong and in the May I started asking for help and the doctors wanted to section me as they said it was all in my head and nothing was wrong after doing tests on me.


With this:
I can not say I'm back to myself like when I was on AD's, but I feel human again!

I still to this day suffering from the WD, the issues are no where near like when I first started WD'ing and don't hold me back doing normal things but I am 40 years old now and if I had to say what I feel like, it is like this: I have a mind of a 20 year old but a body of a 50-60 year old. 

I suffer pains through out my body like I have had a work out session the night before but they are not pains that stop me doing things, just aches.  I can not eat like I used to because of intolerances and allergies I never had before the WD, I also have stomach issues that were not there before like IBS and Acid reflux. 

I am also just generally more sensitive to things, like for an example alcohol hand rub, it makes my asthma kick off. Never had that before and I have never been so sensitive to pain either, I can knock my finger or toe and it feels like I broke it but its was never a knock that would even bruise you, so its just my nerves are on high alert guess 

With all this though I still have no mental health issues other that stress from everyday life, I control my anxiety I originally when on AD's for by doing meditation and CBT so I guess I feel human again but with some added quirks left from the WD 😁


Feel free to ask more questions, just bare with me on replies as I have a poorly partner at the moment and im being mom and dad at the moment plus juggling work
Have a blessed Weekend!
 

[Lovofsun]

On 5/28/2024 at 9:44 PM, BooBoo19 said:

Thank you for coming back and sharing your success story. I am 3 1/2 years from a CT,  at times I have given up hope of ever recovering as my resilience is so low.  I wish none of us ever had to go through this and I like you, I will  never trust the medical professionals or drugs again, never again will I take a psychiatric drug. It is good to know you recovered after a long period of time as it is so important for those of us who are taking much longer to recover that it will happen Thank you.

 

I wish you and your family a very happy life, enjoy every minute of it. I intend to when I finally get there. x

Keep going and fighting, I promise, it is worth it!

We are all different and I guess each of us will take different paths to recovery but if I had to give you one thing I took away from it all, meditation is key!

I meditated a lot, every day I would do 2 hours worth split over the day. 30 mins in the morning, 30 mins before launch and 30 mins before dinner and 30 mins before bed. I am at the point that I can now do 60 seconds of meditation and I feel so relaxed and I can get through a lot of my stressful every day issues with just doing that quick mediation as you remember the feeling of being in deep mediations and it carries over to your everyday life

I can see why Buddha's do it all day now, as it really does do wonders for the mind and body.

I wish you well, I pray for everyone going through WD's as it was the worst time of my life the first 2-3 years of it. I just hope someone reads my post and sees that there is a path to recovery and holds on as it just takes time  

Have a blessed weekend a head! 😊

[MaggieSmalls]

Hello @Lovofsun,

thanks for coming back and giving this update. We both have a lot in common in terms of medication and symptoms. I´m around 2 years behind you and still feel like a mess some days. Some are better and I had lots of improvements within the past years but I still feel very sensitive to any kind of stress, drugs, alcohol, lack of sleep, diet etc. You know what I´m talking about! 

I do still feel every day like I was heavily drinking the past day so very much like a hangover every day for 7 years now. The worst symtpoms all seem to stop and I really hope the I will recover some day. It scares me a bit that you still experience some of your symptoms after such a long time whereas I was on 40mg, not 20 like you.

Also I have the exact kind of "allergies" you are talking about which I never had before. Some weeks I can eat wheat without any problems and than I feel horrible for days after eating bread or pasta.

Muscle weakness, inflammation of my joints, nausea, dizziness, derealization, white noise are just a few of many symptoms that I still have. They all come and go but never seem to disappear entirely.

Wish you all the best and I hope that you continue to recover!

Maggie