Lindy01

[lindy01]

Hi can I also ask you did you ever suffer from this horrible anhedonia/ depression what did you do to alleviate it. I'm still thinking about reinstatement but not sure will make appointment with the doctor. I'm very afraid ..

[Catwoman73]

19 hours ago, lindy01 said:

Each time something nice happens with one of my family or i see an old friend unexpectedly my whole body is flooded with horrid  dread n fear. As you know im not experiencing any good feelings but is this reaction due to withdrawal. I'm so flaming confused. 

 

This is a normal part of withdrawal.  I like to think of it as a confused nervous system.  What would normally get processed as a feeling of happiness triggers to fight or flight.  It will get better with time and patience.  You're probably sick of hearing that by now lol!

 

19 hours ago, lindy01 said:

I really think i might try. So if you can tell me what to do please and how to measure the specific amount etc. Ill speak with the doctor n hopefully she'll prescribe escitalopram.  

 

So you will need to get the supplies I previously described to you.  If you are prescribed 5mg tablets, this is the procedure:

 

1. Dissolve a 5mg tablet in 5mL of water.  This takes a few minutes.  I put mine in a shot glass with the water and swirl it around to speed up the process.
2. Once dissolved, add 5mL of maple syrup.  This will allow the particles to suspend more evenly in the solution (and make it taste better lol).
3. Stir this really well with the end of your syringe, and draw up the correct dosage (I'll talk about that below).
4. I would recommend discarding the remainder, and using a fresh pill each day, as we are not sure how long this solution would be good for if kept in the fridge. 

As for dosing, I'm not sure where you want to start, but I would start very low- maybe 0.1mg.  The solution above is a concentration of 0.5mg/mL.  So you would draw up 0.2mL of this solution, and take that.

 

Note that this will not likely be the ideal dose for you.  This is just an introduction.  If you react badly- agitation, any worsening of symptoms at all, you can stop right away.  If you are feeling the same, or slightly better, you can increase the dose after a week.  You would go up to 0.2mg, or 0.4mL of the solution, and hold for another week.  You will slowly updose until you feel like it's making a difference.  I would do a longer hold once you reach 0.5mg- or 1mL of the solution, to give it a chance to really catch up to you.  

 

So it will take some experimentation and some time to find the dose that helps, but hopefully, while doing this, you'll at least have some comfort that you are doing something to try to help.  

 

Let me know how it goes with your doctor!!!

[lindy01]

Hi luv visited the gp n she had a good chat with me n mainly said what you have that to reinstate would be foolish as the tablets did not help me at anytime. As I've said I find it hard to believe how I got relief for years then the train hit n nothing has worked maybe my poor brain had enough of meds! I was much the same on them not in full blown fight or flight all the time but super super anxious all the time and very depressed. So she and you have brought me to my senses again!! As you said the only way is through. Had a better mood today still feeling wild 😜 just not as wild. So going to try power through till I have a meltdown. Thanks for saying confused nervous system id never thought of that as I long for a nice feeling as its been such a long time but im not alone. I have booked into angie peacock support group so hopefully I'll find some help there also. I wanted to thank you so so much for all your help and everyone else on here who has offered advice. I am truly grateful. New thought today about what do I do if I get unwell again along with you'll never get better that brings all the **** with it. Christ our brains are completely mashed. I really hope you're doing ok. I will try stop thinking that there is something out there that will fix me although its not easy. Just wish I had never ctd! 

[lindy01]

Hi anyone around really think i have akathisia cant even describe the horror and suicidal feelings any tips for dealing with it please? In a huge wave after 2 slightly better days. Sorry to keep popping on with doom i appreciate all advice. I'm trying so hard not to reinstate as I could not survive if I got worse Thanks  

[Catwoman73]

Dear @lindy01- please don't look backwards.  What's done is done, and all we can do now is take things day by day, and move forward.  And the good news is that every day that passes is a day closer to healing.   And you will get well- I think you are doing incredibly well, under the circumstances.  

 

I am beyond thrilled that you have booked in with Angie's support group!  I think that will be hugely helpful for you.  Misery does love company, there's no doubt about that.  As wonderful as this site is, conversing directly with others who truly get it really is therapeutic.  Please let me know how it goes!

 

Regarding akathisia/agitation- you need to do whatever you can to bring even slight relief.  There is another member here who just recently asked if it is ok to just walk and walk and walk every day, and I think it was Catina that answered, and said that if it helps you, yes, it's totally ok.  There are a few things that can help with this- weighted blankets are known to be useful.  Here is our thread on akathisia- read through Altostrata's intro, and the links she provides.  There may be some good nuggets of info in those. I have only ever had severe agitation, but I don't feel it ever tipped the scales into full blown akathisia.

 

Suicidal ideation is awful.  I think we've all been there.  I so wish you had understanding loved ones in your corner- that is always helpful.  I think if you discuss your feelings with the support group, it will help you.  When I have had those feelings in the past, I just let the emotions come- I would cry, scream, whatever came out of me.  And when I felt more calm, I would repeat over and over that this isn't me, it's just the drugs.  Over and over and over.  What we tell ourselves does matter.  Eventually, your brain will rewire itself, and when you get these thoughts and feelings, you'll be able to compartmentalize them, and see that it's just the drugs, and it will go away, without having to work so hard at it.  I so wish there was more we could do, but like you and I have both said, the only way out is through.  

 

Just know that I am abiding with you, and looking forward to your next window.  It will come- just focus on getting through today for now.  That's enough. ❤️‍🩹

[lindy01]

Thanks so so much. I dont feel the need to pace 

But the inner agitation n strong suicidal urges come with it which makes me think its akathasia who knows! My jaw is also bothersome which makes me think this is all chemical anxiety. Is it ok to scream into a pillow I keep thinking if I do that it'll upset my nervous system more. Just want to feel better n the brief windows I do have stay for a little bit many thanks again I truly appreciate your support 🙏 😞 

[lindy01]

Hi me again im seriously thinking of trying reinstatement as I cannot keep on feeling like this. If reinstatement helps will I know right away or if it doesn't will I know that also. Sorry for all the questions im calling the doctor again tomorrow as I need something to help me many thanks luv 😘 

[lindy01]

Hi catwoman sorry that I keep flip flopping but I guess that shows the state im in. Ill update if I get to see the doc tomo. I'm also waiting till after they 13th when I meet with angies group! I just feel I have not got the strength to keep going like this. Although I am very aware I might have to. Thanks for listening 

[Catwoman73]

17 hours ago, lindy01 said:

 Is it ok to scream into a pillow I keep thinking if I do that it'll upset my nervous system more. 

 

You go for it girl!!!  Let it all out, and then when you're done with the screaming, lie back, breathe deeply and allow yourself to become calm again.  For me- when I'm really agitated, I find that getting that energy out to be very helpful.  Sometimes I even like to throw on my boxing gloves and hit my heavy bag over and over.  You have to do whatever it takes to get by minute by minute.

 

4 hours ago, lindy01 said:

Hi me again im seriously thinking of trying reinstatement as I cannot keep on feeling like this. If reinstatement helps will I know right away or if it doesn't will I know that also. Sorry for all the questions im calling the doctor again tomorrow as I need something to help me many thanks luv 😘 

 

It's worth a shot.  You won't likely know right away.  What you will know right away is if you react badly- if your symptoms feel worse after reinstating, you can just stop right away.  But if you are the same or slightly better, hold for a week to allow your nervous system to acclimate to the dose.  Then you can slowly increase.  It can take a while to find the right dose, but I think it would help you just to know that you are doing something active to relieve the suffering.  One of our members reintroduced 0.1mg of prozac a couple of months back, and she has found her ideal dose after slowly updosing to 0.4mg.  So yes, she continued to have difficulties while updosing, but she's hit her sweet spot now, and is doing really well.  So it can take some time. 

 

If it would be helpful, you could show your doctor our threads on reinstatement, so that she can support you better.

 

About Reinstating and Stabilizing to Reduce Withdrawal Symptoms

 How long does it take to stabilize after reinstating or updosing?

 

Most doctors have been educated by pharmaceutical companies on these drugs, so they are typically not aware of how impactful even small doses of these drugs can be.  Pharmaceutical companies still insist that withdrawal is 'mild and short lived.'  Sadly, there are thousands of us on this forum alone that know better.  Hopefully your doctor is receptive to this information.  Not all of them are.

 

Let me know how it goes... thinking of you Lindy!

[lindy01]

Thanks luv! I will see if I can see her tomo n let you know. I just watched a video with angie n Mark horwitz n they talked about reinstatement n how it can help someone not always but since I "jumped off a cliff" his words  I reckon I should give it a shot too if doc agrees. Is the member you talk about feeling better then. I know you'll keep me right thanks! Will there be any withdrawal if I just stop taking it say I manage for 2 weeks all ok n then hit trouble increasing. Do I just stop altogether or hold 🤔 but I suppose ill know by then if its helpful ir not. Just answered my own question! Ill let you know lovely! Thanks again x

[lindy01]

What size of syringes will I get as I know you said 1ml n 3ml is that right n order on amazon 

[Catwoman73]

Yup, 1mL and 3mL are good enough, if you want to spend more $, some 5mL would be great too.  And amazon will have them at your doorstep in a day lol... they're good for that!

 

With respect to how long you can be on it without withdrawal worries- it's hard to know.  I know that the member I told you about went up to 0.5mg, and started having terrible problems, so she dropped right back to the last point where she was stable, which was 0.4mg,  and she's holding there.  And yes, she is definitely feeling a LOT better.  She had been off her meds for longer than you, too, so it certainly can work.  Your best bet, when either tapering or updosing, is to return to the last dose where you felt stable if you run into trouble.  That's what my withdrawal coach has me doing.  

[lindy01]

Hi I'm a little confused how come I draw up more in the syringe than what the dose is. Thanks! 

[lindy01]

Hi doc gave me 5mg tablets but said the tablets dint dissolve and I have no way if knowing what dose im actually getting. I'm so confused please help 

[lindy01]

She also said anything less than 5mg is not therapeutic n basically i think she thinks I've lost the plot. I read someone else's thread n they started with 1.25 n went up to 15mg over the course of many months im just worried that I maybe staring too low but you guys know what you're talking about im just desperate to feel better thanks 

[lindy01]

Also she said is it really  withdrawal got me in a complete tizzy. As im questioning whether its a relapse too god this is awful! Thanks for everything sorry im a basket case! 

[cfgwb]

@lindy01 dont go too high with reinstatement. You risk paradoxical reaction and also have to taper much more/longer the higher the dose.

36 minutes ago, lindy01 said:

anything less than 5mg is not therapeutic

This is what doctors always say as they do not understand withdrawal...

Reinstatement has nothing to do with "therapeutic". (AD s are not therapeutic anyway btw...)

Trust Catwoman73, just Start with 0.1mg

[lindy01]

Hi thanks I plan to follow catwoman advice fir sure. just what she said about the tablets not dissolving n I have no way of knowing what dose im getting has totally thrown me. She defo dies not think im in withdrawal 

[cfgwb]

Just try it with one tablet? Put it in water and See what happens..can take some time. You can also break the tablet befor throwing in water.

You will get a suspension most probably. In this forum are threads how to Do that. Sure catwoman linked it already somewhere up in This thread

[lindy01]

Thanks so much I cant see the links. Catwoman will prob answer me soon just really scared as im so unwell atm with wanting to leave this life. I'd take rat poison if I thought it would help thanks for responding 

[cfgwb]

Have a Look

Please dont leave this life!!!

[cfgwb]

On 8/5/2024 at 6:58 PM, Catwoman73 said:

• Dissolve a 5mg tablet in 5mL of water.  This takes a few minutes.  I put mine in a shot glass with the water and swirl it around to speed up the process.
• Once dissolved, add 5mL of maple syrup.  This will allow the particles to suspend more evenly in the solution (and make it taste better lol).
• Stir this really well with the end of your syringe, and draw up the correct dosage (I'll talk about that below).
• I would recommend discarding the remainder, and using a fresh pill each day, as we are not sure how long this solution would be good for if kept in the fridge. 

@lindy01 this is what catwoman suggested how to do it

 

[lindy01]

Yes that's what I'm going to do ive had a look at the making a liquid but even that says the tablets don't dissolve ill give it a go later im absolutely terrified thanks x

[cfgwb]

6 minutes ago, lindy01 said:

but even that says the tablets don't dissolve

Where? Cannot find it anywhere...

[lindy01]

I have dissolved the tablet I dont know how to show it in a quote but it said it makes a suspension im doing it anyway. Many thanks for all your help x

[lindy01]

7 minutes ago, cfgwb said:

Where? Cannot find it anywhere...

 

[lindy01]

Hi read it wrong it said there may be flakes visible thats where I've got the not dissolving from. Sorry for the confusion. Off out now to get maple syrup I hope it helps. X

[lindy01]

Can I use honey instead 

[cfgwb]

I really dont know...

[lindy01]

I'll get maple syrup thanks a lot I hope you're doing ok 

[cfgwb]

No I am opposite of okay but thats how it is

 

Is it working with your maple syrup?

[lindy01]

Didn't manage to get it. I'm still wondering whether to reinstate as im so so scared of getting worse. I'm really struggling with severe depression no feelings apart from despair and all the sides! I'm sorry you're not great either it just makes no sense to me how this works. I've had a few very brief moments of better but it goes as quick as it arrives. 

[cfgwb]

At least you had some Brief moments where it was better...

Catwoman73 explained a lot about reinstatement. At the end it is your decision...

[lindy01]

I know 

[lindy01]

Well took my first reinstatement dose i used honey so hope that's ok. 

[cfgwb]

How much did you take?