My Long-Term SSRI Usage Withdrawal Survival Story

[Iowan]

If you'd like to know more about my withdrawal journey, check it out here: 

 

After nearly 2 decades of being on SSRIs, I successfully completed my taper in early September of 2020. The Brass Monkey Taper method worked best for me, and in hindsight, I should have implemented and stuck to it from the very beginning. It would have saved me a lot of unnecessary suffering.

 

Today, I live an extremely normal life again. I feel good a majority of the time. I sleep well, for the most part. Feelings of anxiety, doom, despair, etc. are in check and tend to be situational. I've got my life back!

 

I'm quickly approaching 50, and outside of my late teens and early 20s, I'm probably in the best physical condition of my life, as I work out constantly. Weightlifting at the gym, Canoe / Kayak racing, and bicycle racing. Due to the extremely long duration of my SSRI usage, my endorphin and adrenaline production it still a bit off, and exercise is one of the only things that produces endorphins for me, so I get in as much as I can.

 

About 1 to 4 times annually, I do still get hit with a noticeable 'Wave' of anxiety / desolation, etc., but they're easily recognizable and manageable, as they're old hat, they only last 3 to 4 days, and then roll out as quickly as they roll in.

 

I'm still employed, happily married, and have a decent relationship with our 4 children. I consider myself extremely blessed for all of these things.

 

There were several times during my withdrawal that I didn't think I was going to make it. I thought it was impossible. Taking it one day at a time, and the slower the taper the better, were the keys to my success.

 

May my success story of healing give you hope in your own personal journey through AD withdrawal. You are not alone, and you can and will do it! Take it slow. Be kind to yourself, and God Bless.

[KenA]

@Iowan Thank you for sharing your success story with us all! Congrats on making it through and best wishes for continued success!

[benesh]

Thank you Lord for this testimony and your faithfulness to this man. May each of us someday have a success story. Until then help us LORD find strength and comfort to persevere🙏✡️

[Theabominableslowman]

Thanks so much for sharing hope

[Emonda]

Dear Lowan,

Thank you for coming back to write your success story.

 

It is a blessing and joy to read your post. I'll have a read of your introduction a little later tonight.

 

Many thanks, Emonda

[Dee12h]

@Iowan I’ve read through your intro like twice now. So inspirational. I have a few questions if you don’t mind. Your wave symptoms sound so close to mine.

 

- Did you continue to take the arsencicum album or the gaia HERBS SystemSupport SleepThru, and did they help?

-Were your waves usually mostly morning symptoms, or did the horrible symptoms last all day at first?

-Any tips on what to eat when your appetite was 0?

-Any tips on surviving those early mornings in early waves with the constant SI & desperation? Did you have akathisia? It sounds like at least internal akathisia.
-If you took a benzo during a wave do you think it made your wave longer?

-How did you hold onto your faith? Mine seems shredded atm. Do you feel like you’re closer or further from God bc of this?

TIA!

[Iowan]

@Dee12h

- I didn't continue to take either of them, and I don't believe either helped much if any. Unfortunately, 'Time' seemed to be the best healer for me. If I were to recommend one supplement that I believe has helped to mellow my anxiety, it's "Ashwagandha". I don't believe that I start taking it until well after reaching zero, but IMO, I can tell if I go a couple of days without taking it, for what it's worth.

- Early mornings were the WORST for me. The really bad waves would last all day, but in general it seemed like if I could force myself to function, symptoms would subside more and more as the day went on.

- Anything that will give you your best bang for your buck, and won't make you vomit. The highest caloric and nutritional value per volume. In the end, whatever you can force down and keep down. You NEED to eat.

- Worst thing I did was allow myself to worry about my anxiety and lack of sleep. It created a self-sustaining perpetual loop of anguish. Best thing was letting go and realizing it would eventually pass. Get busy doing anything. e.g. folding laundry, exercise, paid work, writing, etc. Anything I could engage my brain and body in, and get out of my own head and misery. I believe I had akathisia, but was never officially diagnosed.

- Early on, when I was attempting to medicate myself out of waves, I believe I was doing more harm than good. My system was extremely sensitive to medications. I don't think Benzo's did anything good for me, at the very least.

- My faith was at the highest when I was at my lowest. I know in the center of my sole that God carried my sorry ass through the worst of it, because I did not have the strength to do it on my own. I can't explain it, it just know it. Now that I'm 'better', I am more self reliant, similar to how I used to be, and that creates distance between me and God. However my faith is still strong and I still know He saved me. I'd like to find a happy middle ground where I'm closer to God, but retain my inner strength at the same time. It's a balancing act for me now.

[Armorall]

Best wishes on your recovery. Thank you so much for writing your success story, it helps so many people. Enjoy!!!!