Gwndolyn: Reinstatement question

[Gwndolyn]

Hello everyone,

I just discovered this forum. I am a forty-seven-year-old woman who was prescribed prozac at 18 for clinical depression (I was suicidal and depressed because of my living situation not my brain) and then at 22 i was diagnosed with GAD and prescribed Paxil which I was on for 25 years. I tried several times to come off the Paxil with horrible results until I was forty-two and unsupervised started my own taper over the course of a year. I was nearly completely off with manageable side-effects until I developed bad anxiety and depression due to circumstances (an abuser re-entered my life) and my therapist (first therapist) told me that she couldn't help me if I wasn't on my medication. My anxiety was terrible so I just did as I was told and went back on the Paxil. I have a new therapist and I have done a lot of work and have developed a lot of tools to deal with anxious feelings and I was feeling good about myself and life so I decided to taper off the Paxil again in March of this year. My NP gave me a 8 week taper schedule which made me think I had overreacted when I tapered over a year previously but I thought 8 weeks was too fast so I tapered over 13 weeks. The tapering process was hell and I didn't listen to my body, assuming that I just had to go through it. After the taper I started doing research because I could not handle being alive. Waking up every morning early with a jolt and an electric shock feeling running through my body which would last most of the day. My muscles were tight and sore so i took frequent magnesium baths which helped in the moment. I had headaches, stomach aches, flu-like symptoms but the worst was the anxiety that followed the adrenal rush each morning and the feelings of complete terror and exhaustion that hung on to me throughout the day. The terror has subsided a bit but I am still getting flooded in the morning (not as bad as it was though) but the absolute worst symptom is a feeling of not being myself or being trapped in a bad memory or bad dream. It is the worst feeling I have ever had in my life and as it dragged on for weeks and months I became depressed. I am not in the weeds as badly as I was but I am not out of them yet either. I know that I tapered much too quickly. I am wondering if anyone else had this awful feeling of being in a nightmare or not existing or being afraid to exist? This is not something I ever experienced before. I am also wondering if anyone has ever tried 5-HTP? My naturopath recommended it. I have seen advice online that we should avoid supplements when we are in withdrawal but I am also eager to feel better. 

[getofflex]

Hello, and welcome to SA.  We are a volunteer-run community of people who have been or are getting off of psychiatric drugs.  I believe you are in withdrawal from having tapered off the paroxetine faster than your brain was able to adjust.  Our protocol here is to taper by 10% of the current dose every 4-6 weeks at the fastest.   I will give you some info about how these drugs cause dependency, and then about tapering and withdrawal.  

 

Thanks for your drug signature.  Can you please flesh this out by adding details about your most recent taper?  Dates and dosages of each reduction would be helpful, as best you can remember.  Do this in a list format.  Read the link below for instructions.  

 

How to List Your Drug History in Your Signature

 

Here is some important information about how these drugs actually work.  This explains why we get symptoms from going off of these medications.

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

 

This helps you understand what withdrawal syndrome is: 

 

Video on Recovery from Psych Drugs

 

Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

 

Here is a link with checklists of common WD symptoms: 

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen Withdrawal Symptom Checklists

 

 

Here are some techniques to cope with symptoms: 

 

Non Drug Ways to Cope with Withdrawal Symptoms

 

Stability is really important when we are tapering off psych meds.  Please read the link about stability:

 

Keep It Simple, Slow, and Stable

 

We don't suggest many supplements, but 2 that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. It is suggested to add one at a time, and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 

Magnesium

Omega 3 Fish Oil

 

You have 2 options.  

 

1) You could do a very small reinstatement, stabilize on this, then gradually taper off of it to reduce your withdrawal symptoms. 

 

2) Tough it out, and learn techniques for coping with your symptoms.  

 

Going back on a small dose of your drug, which we call reinstatement, is best done very carefully.  This is temporary, and after stabilizing you would then taper gradually off of this.  There is some risk involved, and we need more specifics about your drug history before we can suggest a good dose at which to reinstate.  Here is some information about reinstatement.  

 

About Reinstating and Stabilizing to Reduce Withdrawal Symptoms

 

Please let us know what you decide to do.  From what you have written, it sounds as though things are improving, which is great!  

 

[Sebas]

On 7/16/2024 at 9:59 PM, Gwndolyn said:

. I am also wondering if anyone has ever tried 5-HTP? My naturopath recommended it. I have seen advice online that we should avoid supplements when we are in withdrawal but I am also eager to feel better. 

Hi Gwndolyn. Sorry you are in such a bad situation. Like you already discovered you tapered (way) too fast. Paxil is known to be very hard and evilish. DO NOT introduce anything new. Naturopaths have no clue about severity of paxil withdrawal.

 

When did you make the last drop to zero? If this has been around june/july you may want to consider a (small) reinstatement (range 1-5 mg). Allthough you seem to be improving, which would be indicative to hold for longer, chances are your wd may become worse in the next weeks/months. Hopefully not but we have seen it backfire months after before. Especially since your CNS had gotten used to long term/30y paxil administration. Its hard to predict upfront what's best strategy. But just so you are well informed.

 

On 7/16/2024 at 9:59 PM, Gwndolyn said:

It is the worst feeling I have ever had in my life and as it dragged on for weeks and months I became depressed. I am not in the weeds as badly as I was but I am not out of them yet either. I know that I tapered much too quickly. I am wondering if anyone else had this awful feeling of being in a nightmare or not existing or being afraid to exist? This is not something I ever experienced before.

On this website you don't have to explain most people how bad (paxil) withdrawal symptoms can be. For most of us it's the most challenging ride of our life. These depersonalitation/derealization symptoms can be tough. Depression is no relapse just CNS being overwhelmed by sudden  serotonine fluctuations. Will feel like real depression though.

 

On 7/16/2024 at 9:59 PM, Gwndolyn said:

My anxiety was terrible so I just did as I was told

This may well have been such postacute withdrawal from taper. 

 

Please read links above and get back to us in the next days to week while daily monitoring withdrawal development.

 

Bye Sebas

[Gwndolyn]

I was on Paxil for 25 years (I'm 48) and I began a taper in March. I tapered much too quickly and completed the taper coming off of 2.5 mgs after 13 weeks total tapering. I have had no drugs in my system for 14 weeks and the tapering process was horrible. I didn't have this forum or any good medical advice and now I am six months from the start of the taper - about 4 since the end and I feel like I am living in a waking nightmare. I can no longer handle the adrenaline in my body and I have been struggling with suicidal thoughts for months. I have a wonderful husband and four kids and I a want to feel better but I am terrified all the time and I cant sleep bc of the adrenaline and cortisol. I have not had a window lasting more than a few moments or hours in several weeks and this is not enough contrasted with the adrenaline, dread, and terror. 

Is it too late to reinstate? If not how do I do it? if so how do I keep living like this? I'm afraid to go to my doctor who has no clue about any of this. I have never felt more desperate or terrified in my life.